Navigation of Vaginazi

This blog was also posted in Dutch on june 20, 2008

Dear blogger,

All of a sudden the memories of last years holiday are popping into my head.
It is that time of year again, we are going on a holiday, a kind of car rally with two wining and fighting kids on the backseat.
And this is for many of us a yearly repeating ritual.
Luckely for me that I am allergic to everything that is called camping misery. Cocclusion no draggingmobile (caravan) for me.

The first heat is the roll play as this: I drive, my wife reads the map.
Somewhere along the way we drove in the wrong direction, but what the heck it is traffic jams all over.
Luckely we printed a clear route discription and this we will follow as good as possible.
Completely against all the instrictions given on the routeplanner that we have used, she decides all of a sudden that we have to take a left turn and............yes she knows it for sure.



It nearly becomes a serious fight, but wisely i am biting my lip and remeber that every comment that i want to give, might lead us towards a divorce.
From this moment the atmosphere is suffacated and the rest of the holidays i can forget about sex.(I am not even allowed to think about it.)
Everything that goes wrong from now on is my fault and I was the one that has planned this, so it is my problem.

It is so lovely and relaxing this so called holiday feeling.
For the next laps to come, we have decided that she will drive and I will read the map.
In the darkest hour of the night we finally found our destination.
Also the weather is the following days not my best friend as it is only pooring with rain, rain and nothing else but rain, even the locals have never ever experienced so much shitty weather.
Now can women do a lot of things but reading maps is a disaster.



I close my eyes and go to sleep….And get lost in pleasant way if i have to drive somewhere.
I am now seriously planning to buy a Tomtom.(Navigationbrand)

My wish for everybody: "have a lovely holiday season."


The Old Sailor,

ANNOUNCEMENT

Dear bloggers,

I will translate some of the old blogs as far as this is possible in English
Some of the Dutch readers might recognize the story from earlier times, but do not worrie; I will write new blogs in between as well.
I think that some of the stories worth it to be translated.

The Old Sailor,

Time to go back to school

The summer is nearly over and the kids need to go back to school, not a single day of their holiday they wanted to sleep in.
But of course today school was starting again and to get them out of bed was a crime.



Strange because six weeks long they were up before seven o’clock in the morning. Yes, all of a sudden we had to get up early and then my little princesses did not want to get out of bed.
All the things in live have a rythm.
At least that is what they say, but I am not a 100% sure about that.
Some days you never get into the rythm, eventhough you would love to.
A family life is not always easy, I must admit that it has it’s beautiful sides.
But some days are pretty heavy, youre not only dealing with the kids but also with your hard working spouce.



There is simply no rest at all in your situation.
If you make the choice to do nothing the world around starts to complain and looks angry at you.
In these kind of situations i envy all the single people.
But let us look on the bright side of life.
Now the kids have gone to school and my wife has gone to work, it is very quiet in the house.
And it is kind of lonely to be home on your own.



There is never a moment to escape from reality, it is always there.
I hope that i can get myself to do something today, as the weather outside is as depressing as my mood.
Of course we going to give it a try, but i am not expecting a lot that will come out of my hands.
I think it is the after-the-summer-holiday-depression-season


The Old Sailor,

Just because everybody is beautiful

Dear Bloggers,

Never judge anybody on their looks, nice people are not always looking nice.
Not everybody is a beauty on the outside, but some people are so beautiful inside



Here is a little food for thought:

There is so much beauty in life,
beauty in the soul,
beauty in the heart and in the mind
of the good man and woman.
There is beauty in nature,
beauty in the sky and in the clouds,
in the mountains and in the sea.
Beauty in true friendship.
And immeasurable beauty in love.
To delight us in this world.

I hope that you can find the beauty in your life.
And live as happy as possible.

The old Sailor,

Cause of all trouble

Dear Bloggers,


Nearly all problems, conflicts and wars in this world are caused by the 3 C’s

Church: Cause of all emotional and spiritual problems, done by the almighty one.


Cash: Cause all emotions and trouble that money and power can give.


Cunt: Cause of all emotians and trouble, where sexuality is saddled up with.


These three things have been studied by many others and there where only a few that could find denial in this matter.

My motto is: Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is on the line


p.s (I am rewriting and translating some of the blogs that i published earlier on my site in the Dutch language.)




The Old Sailor,

I am beautiful inside

Beautiful women date ugly guys.

And yes I must admit I am one of them, I think it is just the way that we have to live life. Some women that are too picky they will never find a way to keep a man.

Beauty is more important for women than men when it comes to breaking into Tinseltown. An ugly woman who wants to be a superstar virtually doesn’t have a shot; an ugly man only has a slightly harder time making it than his better looking counterparts. Hence, there is a decent amount of ugly men, but there are plenty of good looking women… so when they pair off, some of the better looking women inevitably end up with the not-so-cute guys.

I can’t think of many unfortunate looking women with good looking men.
Of course, there’s that thing called “personality” that often attracts people to one another, but for the sake of analysis, we’ll put good intentioned love aside.



This happens with real people, too. How many times do we look at the wedding pictures of someone else, and see the beautiful bride, and her not-so-much prince on a white horse kind of husband?



Perhaps this happens because women are less critical of men’s bodies than men are of women’s; this is in the sense that, yes, women do nag and complain.
And they are extremely demanding to get attention, men in that case are picky but they are not all loving themselves too much. It means that they will fully go for it but will not drown themselves in tears and stop eating, like a lot of women would do.

Even, look at the respective pornographic magazines aimed towards the genders. The women in Playboy have “perfect” bodies to the point that they don’t look like real women, whereas the models in Playgirl often have little bulges and occasionally excessive body hair.

Perhaps women are genuinely more attracted to a man’s personality, his heart, and his shared interests?
Also, but a not-so-hot man’s money can do a lot of the persuading that his looks can’t.

Has anyone else noticed this?

The Old Sailor

For all the happy parents

Dear Bloggers,

Here we go with the first blog in English.
On board we can really sense it, the so called holiday atmosphere.
The weather is pretty good and our passengers are in a happy mood.
A big help is that the sea is extremely calm and the only movement you can feel is that we are going forward, although some people are getting motion sickness all the time.
I must admit that all our crew members are very busy at this time of the year.
But we are still having fun.
The only thing that is happening that not all families are as organized as they should be.
And some parents will never understand that there kids are the most precious things they can have in live, even though they can be trouble sometimes.
The poor little things are getting lost on this big ship.
Something I can still not understand is how you can loose a child?

Lucky enough for these parents, we are bunch of caring mums and dads who are working on board to make a living for our families.
So the missing kids are in good hands with us.
We are always finding the parents back, if a child is lost.
When we can find out the child's name the problem is solved quickly.
Unfortunately I must say that the parents from this generation, hardly say "thank you."
We just keep up the good work and get them back to were they belong.

Dear people, be more careful in this cruel world, it is embarrassing that you loose a part of yourself.

The Old Sailor