if we use during the holidays a little bit of common sense if it comes to gifts

Dear Bloggers,

We just celebrated Sinterklaas something similar to Christmas only thing that I still don't understand is that parent's want to buy off their guilt feelings with bigger and bigger presents. They better should be worried by the future and our planet. We absolutely could live with less stuff as long a gift comes from the heart.

If Christmas is about presents, then in 2014, my little family and I will have no more Christmas. I mean, we love the caroling and the uncle playing the piano and the cousins running around with my ten year old, daughter and the grandfather trying to get her to sit on his lap and en joying all the good food.

We have, in other words, an amazingly good time.

What we didn’t have, though, was the average €500 hole in our bank accounts, gouged out by Sinterklaaspresent spending. 

(In the Netherlands we celebrate Sinterklaas like Christmas on the 5^th of December) This year we did things a bit different. Nor did we have the credit limit like other years. No, this year only our youngest got something extra but the rest of us got only a few useful items and none of those gifts were what we didn’t really want. We only had one stressful rush of last-minute crowds at the mall.

Without the big presents, you see, we didn’t have the sensation that I, at least, normally associated with Sinterklaas, the stress. And without stress or presents, it’s not Sinterklaas, right? But of course it was. To me it was the best of Sinterklaas, the part that, research shows, makes people happiest. It was all the upside without the downside.

Let me back this up.

From November 2012 to November 2013, I and my little family, one wife, one teen girl, one minor child and two cat’s embarked on a lifestyle experiment in which we tried to live with a lower environmental impact. Among other measures, the experiment included not buying trash and not buying new gadgets that appear later on to be useless anyway.

This may sound like a lot of meaningless self-deprivation, but the question that we wanted to answer was this: Does consuming a fewer resources actually make you feel like deprivation, or is it possible that consuming less opens up another way of life that provides a more enduring satisfaction? Or let me put it another way, can we find a win-win way of life that might be happier both for us and for the whole planet? All big things will start somewhere small in my opinion!

My wife drives the family vehicle. In my little world, cars are a big item I drive a nearly 20 year old environmental unfriendly Peugeot. There are others and it is time to find a newer car with less carbon emission. No, I cannot afford to drive a newer emission free model as I have no financial resources for that, no carbon emissions. Like going by push bike is not an option for me as my work is more than 30 kilometers away unfortunately. 

On the other hand, eating and shopping local and riding bikes instead of driving cars when possible allowed us to lose the so called spare tires around our guts, cure ourselves of longstanding skin problems and insomnia and become generally healthier.

Our experiences illustrated that some uses of planetary resources improve quality of life and some may not. Indeed, we could go a long way toward dealing with the crisis in our planetary habitat.

But as Sinterklaas approached this year, the more pressing question for us was, did the season’s huge consumption of resources add something to the Sinterklaas experience or not? Since one-sixth of all retail sales occurs during the holiday season, it’s a question worth asking.

Despite the fact that people spend relatively large portions of their income on gifts, as well as time shopping for and wrapping them, such behavior apparently contributes little to holiday joy.

I’ve already told you enough to let you guess how my little family’s experience played out, but you may be surprised to learn that our findings are backed up by bona fide psychological research.

Of course, this makes perfect sense. We all know in our hearts that treasuring meaningful experiences and spending time in valued relationships at Sinterklaas, Christmas or any other part of the year make us happier than getting more stuff.

But try telling that to the grandparents at Sinterklaas or Christmas time!

The trick to a happy, sustainable, non-consumptive Sinterklaas was not, we discovered, to ignore the expectations of the people we celebrated with. We didn’t want our loved ones to feel bad. Those who expected presents should get them, we decided. Gifts, after all, are associated with the exchange of love.

Still, my wife, worried very much that it would be hard for the kids if all the cousins had presents to open and they didn’t. Try saying, “The research says you’ll be happier with less.” to a ten year old. 

So we got her some toys and contributed some toys that she had outgrown, to the poor and we wrapped them for Sinterklaas as she had not even unpacked them.

When present-opening time came, my eldest daughter didn’t care whether the present that she was opening was for her or not. Much to our surprise, she didn’t even nag about the fact that she got less this year than her little sister. What was important to her was what turned out to be important to us: the singing, the poems, the laughter, the time spent with family, and of course, the celebration.

Here I gathered some adorable gift ideas that will be affordable, adorable, and festive.

Gifts for Teachers & Tutors

Truly great teachers deserve some special recognition for their hard work and dedication. Show your appreciation at any time with a homemade cookie jar. Simply choose a glass jar with lid and fill it with your choice of ready to eat cookies or layered cookie mix. Attach a label that says, “You are one smart cookie!” and tie a festive ribbon around the neck of the jar. This is also a wonderful gift for someone in a nursing home, although a plastic jar is recommended for safety reasons. 

Gifts for Bus Drivers & Postal Workers

These hard working definitely deserve a nice gift to remind them how much we appreciate their dedication and efforts. For a great gift with almost no fuss, buy a six pack beer and affix a big ribbon and homemade gift tag with the words, “You’re an awesome Bus Driver” or whichever title fits your needs. Finish the gift by attaching a delicious bag of candies and viola… a wonderful and inexpensive gift. This gift is also wonderful for your child’s best friend.

Gifts for Beauticians and Housekeepers

This is a wonderful gift idea for those on your list whose hands and nails could use a little spoiling. Choose an attractive glass jar and fill it with lotion, nail polish, cotton balls, nail polish remover, emery boards, and all the goodies necessary for a luxurious manicure. Tie festive ribbon around the neck and affix a special bow for the top for a sweet treat - a Manicure in a Jar.

Christmas or Sinterklaas is an opportunity to be creative and discover new ways to save money while appreciating everyone who makes life just a bit more enjoyable. These gifts can be altered to suit just about anyone on your Holiday list. 

A gift that is given from the heart is more beautiful. I would say try it and stay on the budget it is more fun to give love than what money can buy.

The Old Sailor, 

The dream of my youth

Dear Bloggers,

I do probably dream a lot but most of the mornings that i wake up, I do not remember a single thing. Only sometimes I can recall the story of my dreams and they have the strangest subjects. This is one of these dreams that I had for a couple of days now and i wander why do I have this dream? Is it that I want to know what happened to people from my past or is there somewhere deep inside something left that should be questioned? I thought that I had finished this story many years ago when we broke up and went our own ways again. It is strange how the mind pops up these stories and my question is why does this occur so many years later? Am I still looking for answers from my youth or is there something hidden deeper. Is this the life that I imagined many years ago or what?

As we both have a job and work in different day shifts. We normally forget a few things when we do our shopping. As I am on my way already this morning my wife called me on my cellphone if I could drop by the supermarket and by some groceries for the evening meal and some bread rolls for lunch. And after the call I drive towards the supermarket to get the goodies. I rush (literally) with my little red car into the carpark at the supermarket. It is terribly busy and so I just curse when I must drive a second round to secure a spot. I throw my car around the corner, search along the more distant parking lots and see an empty spot in the corner near the supermarket as I see someone drive off, so thats good.

As I was heading off to that spot on my eye suddenly falls on the woman at the edge of the sidewalk waiting with her little daughter. A typicall Dutch female figure, a head full of curly brown hair, deep brown eyes, pale skin with a red blush ......... involuntarily squeezes of my stomach. "Oh my god, it’s Esther ..." I mutter softly to myself.

I park my car and I thank God on my knees this morning that I have decided for once to dress myself neatly on a Saturday In a long black shirt, dark black trousers and neat shoes to match as I walk towards the carts. I see her coming around the corner at the same time but I just rethink how small the chances are, that she would remember me and I climb over the fence for the carts so I can avoid her ..

How long wiould it be now, pfff think almost 28 years or so. Suddenly I see myself again in mind: Just 16 years old, I walk into the harbour area and its end of the season time for the fancy fair, the new backpack that my parents gave me is hanging around my shoulders. And there are my friends hanging out by the bumper cars together with some nice looking young ladies. I introduce myself to the girls and somehow this Esther girl is catching my eyes. I look at her and for the first time in my life I feel butterflies, wow ..." Hi Esther ......I am out of words for the first time in my entire life ... "Much more is gone from me, I am now vibrating and fire red. I drink my beer and head for the bar to get us some new beverages.......dry throats are dreadfull.

I have meanwhile grabbed my cart and turned around. There's really a look of recognition in Esther's eyes to see, so I greet friendly and walk by. My goodnes I am shy again, nothing changed.

Of the way to the eshentrance I think back on that period ....Of course it was obvious that I am in love with Esther I yoyally fall for her and there was a click between us. We could get along well together and the fair was always a good start fo a new relation because it had to happen. And that did it, we grew more and more towards each other and the end of this evening was my dream. We walked together through an open field and I pointed to the stars, "do you see that group of stars Esther? In the form of a saucepan? That's the big bear ... "She is leaning against me to point to the stars and I feel my body shiver as in a panic attack. I turned to her and looked her straight in her eyes. "Esther ..." my voice was hoarse, 'This really can not .. you're going to be my first real girlfriend ... after......"When my gaze fell I said softly," I am so scared to do this and then she said it was not a problem,,,,we are taking it easy ... that you are in doubt with me .. "" Yeah but it really can not ... and I really need more time to....."And so she took my heart and kissed me as never before. Our relationship was passionate and roughly edged. I really had some serious butterfly problems. We lost the love for each other after 6 months, the fire had died out slowly and we broke up with no hard feelings and that was that ... But forget her? No, never.....ever ..she had started me up again.

As I throw my stuff in the cart, I see that Esther, of course, took the same route as me. When I walk through the isles. Her cart is at a certain moment in my way and so she says softly as she looks at me, 'Sorry' and pulls the cart away.

I feel really confident and ridiculous at the same look at her and smiled, "Do not worry" 'Once at the vegetables I am no longer able to sustain and I am all blushing (bizar!!) She speaks to me," Hi Sailor, how are you? "Well the wild hairs are still there but I turn to graying," HEJ Esther, yes everything alright with you? "While I ask my question, I look at her as well: Yes she is also older now but still good looking and somehow she looks nervous. "Yes it is not to bad with me, my daughter and I have a small home for almost a year now," Again, I look at her smiling, "The little girl is approx 6 years or so," Now she smiles at me, "Yes the drum still beats "We look at each other, each too long, and the little girl calls us to order;" Mummy why are you doing so weird to that man ... " I totally shot into laughter, that wonderful honesty of children.

"Hey Esther I am sorry but I must go, my wife is sitting at home together with the kids and they are waiting for their lunch. It was nice to see you again and maybe we'll meet again here. At that moment "she gazes and says, 'Yes, I must go too. "We give each other a hug or something similair but then I turn around and walk away. First loves ... something that makes that these people are always special to you and so I walked around yesterday with a big, big smile. As I have never have forgotten her, and she never forgot me, for both of us it's a nice reminder of our youth. Yes it was great at that time but she left me then with a totally shattered heart and I still did not find all the pieces back yet.....

The Old Sailor,

Chaos in the house

Dear Bloggers,


It’s been a busy month at our house. The main event during this hectic month that just passed is my youngest daughter’s got her second swimming diploma. We’ve been celebrating since last month when she received her diploma and in the mean time Sinterklaas had arrived. Follow that with all the end of the year events for two daughters and a wife and you can see how hectic things have been around our house. It’s a good kind of chaos though, one that I’m sure I am not the only parent to welcome.

Now, it’s on to christmas and new year! The weather has got worse. Raining, hailstones and stormy nights, actually, as we seem to be kicking off winter with a vengeance and we just about bypassed autumn altogether. We hadn’t done much with the garden this year. It’s looking a bit overgrown and neglected. What you see growing there right now is grass. They just came up on their own without any effort on our part. Not too bad, I’ve still been able to mow the lawn in November Maybe when I get finished with my projects we can finally get our garden together again. But for now, the randomness is fine. Anyway the place is still for sale.

My backyard has been in chaos since early spring as we have been again reorganizing and restructuring the backyard. One of my major projects was building a new roof on the storage house and getting rid of the old roofing that has been blown away in the last storm. I am doing all this on my own and I yes this is one of the times that I wish I would’ve had a son to help me to do the ‘man’ jobs. Don’t get me wrong here, as I am proud of my princesses and they are great helps. I think that I do a great job though, albeit slow since I also have to work in my paying job in between. No matter, I enjoy seeing the changes that I am making.

For one, I like the way the shed looks after I put the new roofing on, especially when the sun is just rising in the morning. When I look over the backyard from the bedroom of my daughter and overthink my situation.

When I have my morning coffee and look up just as the sun hits the kitchen window just right, I can see the light that soon lights up my backyard will be back in order again in a few months. Just as life, I know all the hectic activities swirling around us right now will also soon stop and I will be missing this time as I sit quietly and in peace in the backyard, watching the birds looking for food and checking out the new birdfeeding house. A quick peak and then they fly away. I will be missing the chaos because that’s just the way life is. You always want more of what you don’t have right now.

Just a few days more to overcome and christmas is on our doorstep again from that point we will enter the next year. Soon the time comes that the first one will fly out and will make her own nest. Yes, time flies when your having fun. All of a sudden I am realizing that we are getting the elder working generation. I hope everyone will have a nice chaotic and hectic time if you are celebrating christmas.

The Old Sailor,

Shopping or Sex?

Dear Bloggers,


"Women Think of Shopping as Much as Men Think of Sex!" screams a headline in the free newspaper of last week.

Woohoo, boy. This is just about the most dubiously sourced piece of journalism.

A study says that women think about buying a new outfit once every minute -- or put another way, 60 times each waking hour. This data comes from the responses of 74% of 778 women aged 19 to 45 at this 'online fashion bible' web site. In other words, that's 575 self-selected women.

Now let's take a look at the study about men, who supposedly think about sex as much as we think about shopping. (I think that once a minute is a but much but I admit it is many times a day.)

"Other studies have previously claimed to uphold the commonly-held belief that young men have only one thing on their minds - sex...They are said to think about it every 52 seconds, while the subject crosses some women's minds only once a day."

I did some half-assed Googling to find this "men think about sex this much, women think about sex that much" study and didn't come up with much -- but fight shoddy research with shoddy research, I say! The best we could do was to find data on the web site of the reputable Kinsey Institite, which says, according to a 14-year-old study, 19% of ladies think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% think of it a few times per week or month, and 14% think of it less than once a month. That same study found that 54% of men think of sex everyday, while 43% of men think of it a few times per week or month and only 4% think of it less than once a month.

The best part of the article is the piece when a psychologist debunks the whole silly argument:

Discussing the cosmopolitan survey, psychologist Dr Jane Prince, said: 'People think about things which bring them pleasurable feelings. The pleasure is usually in the anticipating and planning.

'But so many women displaying this level of preoccupation, thinking about something once a minute, would indicate widespread addictive behaviour with regard to shopping which really does not seem to be evidenced in any academic literature I have ever seen."

I don't know who is more at fault: web sites that do polls and pass them off as studies, or journalists who utilize polls like studies, but they both have to stop. These tired and old worn out ideas are not realistic anymore. That men are sex-crezed beasts, and that women are shallow and superficial, hmmmm.......it is not really from this time and it will do no one any good and only perpetuate a consumer culture that thrives on fostering women's insecurities and men's sexual prowess. The problem isn't that women think about shopping "too much," or men think about sex "too much", the real problem is that there's an appetite to both read and write stories that hinge on unproven stereotypes. If I look around me I do not know anyone with a shopping addiction and other guys complain about having not enough sex. This is a natural process as man are hunting always for younger women who are ready for reproduction. But somehow most of us learned to nag instead of doing the mating dance.

Hmmm.......to those 575 women who think about shopping every 60 seconds, I hope that one of the purchases that crosses their minds is a vibrator so they can please more then their own needs. Now I'm gonna go to work and think about F***ing once a minute for the rest of the day, you silly, silly newspaper.

The Old Sailor,