Shopping or Sex?

Dear Bloggers,


"Women Think of Shopping as Much as Men Think of Sex!" screams a headline in the free newspaper of last week.

Woohoo, boy. This is just about the most dubiously sourced piece of journalism.

A study says that women think about buying a new outfit once every minute -- or put another way, 60 times each waking hour. This data comes from the responses of 74% of 778 women aged 19 to 45 at this 'online fashion bible' web site. In other words, that's 575 self-selected women.

Now let's take a look at the study about men, who supposedly think about sex as much as we think about shopping. (I think that once a minute is a but much but I admit it is many times a day.)

"Other studies have previously claimed to uphold the commonly-held belief that young men have only one thing on their minds - sex...They are said to think about it every 52 seconds, while the subject crosses some women's minds only once a day."

I did some half-assed Googling to find this "men think about sex this much, women think about sex that much" study and didn't come up with much -- but fight shoddy research with shoddy research, I say! The best we could do was to find data on the web site of the reputable Kinsey Institite, which says, according to a 14-year-old study, 19% of ladies think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% think of it a few times per week or month, and 14% think of it less than once a month. That same study found that 54% of men think of sex everyday, while 43% of men think of it a few times per week or month and only 4% think of it less than once a month.

The best part of the article is the piece when a psychologist debunks the whole silly argument:

Discussing the cosmopolitan survey, psychologist Dr Jane Prince, said: 'People think about things which bring them pleasurable feelings. The pleasure is usually in the anticipating and planning.

'But so many women displaying this level of preoccupation, thinking about something once a minute, would indicate widespread addictive behaviour with regard to shopping which really does not seem to be evidenced in any academic literature I have ever seen."

I don't know who is more at fault: web sites that do polls and pass them off as studies, or journalists who utilize polls like studies, but they both have to stop. These tired and old worn out ideas are not realistic anymore. That men are sex-crezed beasts, and that women are shallow and superficial, hmmmm.......it is not really from this time and it will do no one any good and only perpetuate a consumer culture that thrives on fostering women's insecurities and men's sexual prowess. The problem isn't that women think about shopping "too much," or men think about sex "too much", the real problem is that there's an appetite to both read and write stories that hinge on unproven stereotypes. If I look around me I do not know anyone with a shopping addiction and other guys complain about having not enough sex. This is a natural process as man are hunting always for younger women who are ready for reproduction. But somehow most of us learned to nag instead of doing the mating dance.

Hmmm.......to those 575 women who think about shopping every 60 seconds, I hope that one of the purchases that crosses their minds is a vibrator so they can please more then their own needs. Now I'm gonna go to work and think about F***ing once a minute for the rest of the day, you silly, silly newspaper.

The Old Sailor,

Once upon a time

Dear Bloggers,

I digged in my archives and found this story that I wrote in Dutch in March 2008, It was a hard one to translate but it looks like it that i did it again. So sit back and relax here it comes.

Ok, Let me once again start telling about earlier times.

Yes, if you are getting a bit older you start with memorizing your younger days.

I used to think: When I grow up, or is it .... "When I am old?"

As a little boy I did not dream of being a fireman or a pilot.

I dreamed that I would be a cowboy and then it was not so much about the fact that I wore the popper, but more that I liked their roughneck personality and free spirit.

Also the fact that you should lead a nomadic life.

Endless prairies were in my thoughts and in my imagination I crossed them on horseback.

I often drifted off as I was still quite young, my wild dreams were shattered, because you just had to do your best at school and there would not be such a dream.

I therefore present my best side and do the utmost for my children that they will try as much as possible to realize their dreams.

My wife is not stopping me in this case.

Although it is hard to hear sometimes that your child cannot keep up with the rest of the class at certain studyparts, but on the other hand we are also still there to stimulate them and of course to help them.

The things they learn now is what threatens to hit back in a later school stage because some things they have not fully mastered.

Because unfortunately you are getting nowhere nowadays close to the barge without a proper education.

This contrasts with the time I lived during my childhood, when there were many who had only primary school and that was nothing unusual in those days. (Oh yes, that is called Elementary today)

But I had no idea that these people could trick you with their arithmetic skills, writing skills, or their topographical information.

I will not say that there were no stupid people then, of course they existed.

But why should we teach mental arithmetic?

No, need you have a mobile phone or a calculator for this.

And for the more complicated calculations we use a spreadsheet program on the computer.

The topographic information is now in the art of controlling the GPS navigation system.

Not to mention the art of writing.

First thing we have learned is to write complete sentences.

Now they have MSN or SMS language in which you can sometimes find no logic.

If they write: “Please wait” nowadays, they write:”pls w8”.

But I'm just in my forties, then you are according to the young people an older man.

Did I grow old too soon?

Did I become too old to dream?

Soon I probably get an automatically generated letter from somekind of institution that I must report to the club of elderly blokes that hang out with eachother.

In my youth you had respect for those "old men" who gathered every day at to the so-called "lie bench" where they spent many hours.

Overlooking the harbor.

Here they criticized everything that happened in the world.

And that world was much smaller than the world of today.

Ok there was a newspaper (printed on paper and a black and white TV and a radio but that was all technology available to our needs.)

Everything happens so fast nowadays and it is quite difficult sometimes to keep up with everything.

Yes, once the world was still very small but relatively safe for us.

The Old Sailor,