My lovely old ship

Dear Bloggers.

You’d love nothing more than to forget all about the time that broke your heart. Yet, whenever she crosses your mind, you forget all she did wrong. You try thinking about revenge to quell those fluttery feelings in your stomach, but that’s easier said than done, and your heart has its own ideas. Don’t freak out, though listen here’s how to cope: When you decide to leave the salty waters.

She might be worth a second chance. OK, so you don’t have to get back to sailing again, but if you still feel this strongly, it might be one of those rare occasions to hop on board as a passenger Maybe you left the ship over something silly like not able to cope with the harsh rhythm of a sailor. If your body wasn’t able anymore tot deal with the pain even being a tough guy, I never consider trying again.
She could’ve been your first real love. First love sticks with you, even years later. It’s not so much that you still want to go back to sea, but you remember the pure joy of that first innocent loving feeling for your new job and it gives you butterflies again as soon you step on board. Of course, you might feel this way over any ex ship that you truly loved.

Stay away at all costs. Stay away from your old ship when you had any bad experiences. It could just be that you’re feeling lonely and you’re remembering the times together. There’s nothing wrong with that, but hooking up here could just cause you to get hurt all over again.

Figure out how to move on Take your butterflies and feelings as a sign that you need to move on. You might’ve thought it was over, but until you don’t feel any attraction to the life at sea anymore, it’s not over. Go out with old sailor friends, focus on a new job or even a hobby and throw out any reminders of your old job.
I did make a point of ensuring someone else was always around when I was there and my memories were drifting off again. It didn't keep me from saying anything unrealistic like “please I want to go back” or “damn, you’re my most beautiful memory.” Tears ran down my cheeks my stomach felt sick.Eventually, I got over it and our life went back to normal.

Start something new. It doesn’t have to be anything serious, but shift your focus to another job. Show yourself there are other jobs out there. My new job as a commuter bus driver is also fantastic and I enjoy it really. It is a total difference than my former job. A different level of being responsible for your passengers. Besides the city I drive has many beautiful student's, sexy distractions are always a great way to make the butterflies go away and the pain is getting less.Once you figure out what it is, it’s easier to ignore.

Think about what went wrong before. Give yourself a cold mental shower. There’s always a reason why you had to give up. What was it? Nothing kills you faster than thinking about all the days life has screwed you over, and not in the fun sweaty way. Fibromyalgia ended my life and career at sea. If this happens, it could just be part of your moving on process. If you tend to form strong connections quickly, this happens fairly often you will find something that suits you. Just avoid the temptation to get back to your old job and know that these funny feelings they’ll disappear soon.

Accepting it is the difficult part and you know you’ll be replaced soon by a new member of staff. Sometimes we just have to accept that at least a small part of us still wants to go back sailing again, but I always remind myself that I’ll be replaced soon and I’ll have the same kind of feelings for something new.

Enjoy the memories, but don’t forget the bad times. Tears and emotions aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes they’re just your mind’s way of reminding you of good memories. Obviously, there were good times in your old ship. It’s okay to remember those and smile at the memories. Just don’t forget about the bad times. They’ll keep you in check and prevent you from going back to your former life



The Old Sailor,

Homesick

Dear Bloggers,

I have been to the hospital again on the second of June, and had a few tests condition wise to check if there is anything in my lungs.
The next step is a CT scan and a bloodtest on different features again after the results or the bloodtest are known, they will call me for the scan. According to the lung specialist it is a very little chance Sarco but to be 100% sure they will make a scan.
I hope to be able to tell you more in a few weeks after the scan but the future looks a bit better
And now it is time for another story.



Homesick we are going to call it.
Although I enjoy being with my family, I do miss work somedays. It is not that I am not enjoying myself but you can call it a kind of homesick. I have been so used to my life on board that it is sometimes hard to find a bit of time for myself. On board I have my own cabin where you can be on your own and sit down and relax for a while.

My eldest daughter had to go on a overnight school journey and to my surprise she was feeling homesick. She is normally the one that is very independant and is not afraid to try new challenges. She probably just missed the idiotic jokes of her dad and the calmness of her mum. But it gives you as a parent on the other hand a good feeling, your child is missing you and her home. We cannot be all of us Nomads and travel through the desert of this dry and dull life.



Furthermore I find it hard to get used to the people around me that have a routine of weekends and working days. Especially now the holidays are coming they start to panic as in about four weeks they have to go and travel. (they all go run around like Kevin from the movie home alone) When they ask me if I have made any plans about where we should go, I have to tell them no. My daughters and me have been discussing where we should go this year and booked a hotel on the internet for a few days. We are not that hooked on campings or holiday parcs as we are not average tourists. We are just going there for a few nights and discover our surrounding when we are there. We are not really holding on to a budget as I do not want to think about money at all. I normally book a all inclusive holiday as that is the easiest and you don't have to search for a place to eat. Lunch of course we do on our way.



My family does not have any panic, we just pack our stuff that we need and see all surprises as a challenge. We just hop in the car and drive to our destination and even that has become easier as the navigation system leads us in 90% of the way. But one thing is for sure we are never in hurry and every two hours we switch places so we can enjoy the surrounding. I have never understood that the man has to drive the whole way, as this is leading to extra stress and a higher change on accidents.
Last year we did trips into town and left the car behind at the hotel, when you travel by public transport there is no stress as we have all day and no shedule. We just hop on a bus or tram and ask the locals what is good fun to see or to do. Better tourguides you cannot find as they know the city and tell you where you can find nice pubs and cosey restaurants where you can go for lunch. First of all your not in between the massive tourist crowds and the prices are quite normal. We are on a real adventure trip as we are not having many set goals, we just end up somewhere and learn a lot on our field trips.



When you ask the locals you find great little places like museums, playgrounds which are not on the tourist maps as they are not rich enough to go in the brochures are just being on the outskirts of the city. Strange enough none of us is being homesick, also my wife is enjoying her free days as we both take care of the kids. The kids are having a few basic rules to stick too, but for the rest they are free to play are whatever they are planning to do. So for everybody that needs to go on a holiday soon, remember to relax. Make sure that you are on a holiday too. Otherwise it is useless to go anyway. Do not make your schedule too tight and take care of your families safety all the time but do not overreact.

It is not you that is sick, it is all the others around you.

The Old Sailor,

Home Sweet Home or Homesick?

Dear Bloggers,

It sounds strange but it can even happen to me.
Yes, even somebody like me, can get homesick somehow.
A couple of weeks ago , we were driving around a bit by car and all of a sudden, It struck me like lightning.
My mind was drifting of and was playing with me, when we had stopped at the lakeside and I stared across the water.



I saw the boats sail by and then I just realized that I was homesick.
I finally missed after all these years, the place were I was raised.
In a small village next to the lake.
I never experienced these feelings before, It took my breath away.
And the funny thing is that I could not talk about it for days.
I had to find out, why I had these feelings.
After a couple of days I talked about it to my wife.
It is not that I miss the village that much that I have to go back there.
But it is the water, the smell of the fresh breeze and the mentallity of the people living there.
It is a big difference to what I am used to now.
I simply have to admit that I miss the fresh air, the summer breeze which is nearly always there and simple things like going by bike with my kids to the beach.
Also that you wake up early morning and take the bike and cycle across the lake, when everybody else is still asleep. The other early people you greet when you pass them but not disturbing anything.



Enjoying every minute being in the middle of nature and together with your loved ones.
Concluding after my wife has been calculating, we have to stay at least eight years in the place were we are living now.
Before we can move back again to the area where I learned all the basic things of life and nature around me.
Unless we win the jackpot in the lotterie, or get money in an other way.
So I keep gambling on the future.
I believe that God can do miracles.
and I hope that a miracle will come my way.

Don't worry dear bloggers, I will not let my head hang down and run around fully depressed.
I still have my own believes.
Well I stick to this phrase like always: “Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,