Inner Peace and a way to share it that is what I do and what are you looking for?

Dear Bloggers,

I travel forty minutes by car to the area of woods where I plan to hike. I drive up to a hill and park next to a couple that is taking their dogs for a walk. The hill that I am climbing is an old overgrown garbage dump. I open my door and step outside to a green grassy world. I take the dogs out of the trunk. The sun is shining overhead surrounded by a bright clear Dutch blue sky. I instantly feel more at peace. I head to the opening in the woods, and begin looking around, noticing the beauty of nature which is awaking slowly from the winter sleep.  I breathe in the clean air deeply, wanting to take it all in.

The head of the trail is lined with flowers; yellow daffodils, and crocuses in  purple, and white. The trees are of all sizes, and as I walk further down the path, the trees start getting bigger, taller, wider. When I walked here last summer it was becoming darker here. When I begin walking deeper into the woods, I’ll see just a few streams of light shining through the tree tops which are getting green.  The wind is gently blowing, creating shadows of the tree tops and leaves as they dance on the rhythm of spring.

I continue walking further and deeper into the woods and up the hill we go.  I notice a large dark grey concrete kind of staircase up ahead. As I get closer I see a rich green moss covering one side, a man made waterfall is near, I can hear the water trickling over the small steps. I keep walking, and with just a few steps I can see the water from the spring as it moves across my path. I step over it’s only a few steps wide but the stepping stones are wet, and I look at the beauty of nature as our dogs are running around like nuts.

The path begins to climb in elevation… My sense of peace deepens as I continue going to the top into an open field. I keep walking. I keep climbing in elevation. The path curves to the left and then back to the right. I keep moving forward, in my own speed I’ll find my way up the hill.  I love that it’s a total different level and again beautiful and it’s sunny up here. I walk closer to the edge of the other side. Here I’m looking at the city in the distance. I look down below on the other side and see a canal  gracefully winding through the base of the landscape, and when I look up to the sky, overwhelmingly, I feel a grateful energy called live. I breathe it all in.

On the next few months I will be coming back to this hill as often as I can to cultivate the peace within me. It was shortly after I began driving busses that our life began to change in a big way. My wife was loosing everything that she had, but I didn’t know it yet that her brain snapped and she stopped functioning as a wife and mother and slowly she was falling to bits and peace’s. 

I had to go on unemployment benefits due to Dutch regulations I had to be laid off for half a year, it was not really working in our favor. I dove deeper into myself practicing Tai Chi again using channels like You tube and remembering it from my past, and surprisingly I found even deeper moments of peace. Once I realized how simple it actually all really is, it made me a little angry at myself for all the years I wasted living an incomplete life.

When you find something that gives you that gift, after all of the years of searching for  a better you and your only suffering, you want to share it out to the world. You want everyone to feel the peace within. I’ve been looking for ways to share it with others ever since. Because once you find something so good, so wonderful, you feel as if you have to share it out to the world. Unfortunately not everyone understands what you are telling them.

As I continued my journey in life, I began noticing more, and having more awareness of habits and patterns. For instance, I would of never been able to have this realization and be on the path to living my life, if I didn’t lose everything I loved.  If you lost people that you have loved with every inch of your being, Yes I know it sounds a little airy-fairy or even a bit insane.

Anyway time continued on, I took a lot more training to keep contact with myself and the world around me, taught a lot more  things to our dogs. Sharing the peace that i found within. Creating the habit of practicing at the beginning of the day and hoping for a sensational sunrise. Since I had to spend my time during the  morning I started taking long walks, I decided to go hiking towards the sunrise every Thursday morning to stay in balance and practice. And it is so beautiful and also inspiring that I again felt like I needed to share this. Somehow I feel better than ever before.

The Old Sailor,

Dear Bloggers,


I'll tell you how I look at my companion for life called fibro, it became a part of me in my daily life. Acceptance is difficult but as time passes it is becoming easier and by falling on your face you learn things the fastest way. Anxiety is a poor guide so if it is diagnosed then go and search for positive stories on the Internet. What struck me in the beginning that there were much more negative than positive stories to find. But with a little bit of effort put into searching I was able to find them. I have experienced it from the beginning as a terrible thing and the capriciousness with which it all comes and goes makes it difficult to control. Yet I have at some point found some rest and made a good deal with my body. I'm less anxious to do things and I started with a physio fitness program was tailor made for me. In the beginning I had to get used to the idea to do anykind of sports as in my opinion this was absolutely impossible. Still, I put on my "naughty" shoes (sneakers) and gave it a shot. But after the third lesson it was disastrous because my body totally refused to join these days and seriously frustrated I returned home.

Knocked out by FMS

Many people are told by "well-meaning friends/doctors" just get out & exercise. Yes, exercise is very important but it is not a cure, nor is lack of exercise a cause. And it is very possible that they may only be able to do a few light stretches, or to walk one block at a time. The exercise routines I used to do are no longer an option for me. Even athletes who start having problems with FMS have to start at the bottom. It is very frustrating. Exercising causes major pain so it is very important to start slowly. Another problem with FMS is the delayed reaction. Sometimes pains from "over-doing it" don't hit until 24 to 48 hours later. So it is very easy to over-do. You may think you are doing ok, but then the next day it will hit you & knock you flat. Despite the pain it is important to find a routine because it will help you cope and deal with your complaints. If you start slow you will eventually build up to where you can do more & more. Proper counseling is very important, but more importantly you know yourself what you can handle. Your trainer is there to tell you how you do things the right way to practice. The taxation of your body you should try.

My best friend and companion for life: Fibromyalgia

I found peace only when I started practicing Tai Chi and I was told to improve my situation and accepting you are having a disability. A Tai Chi practitioner who ends up in a combat situation, is not so much concerned with eliminating the adversary, but to improve their own position. This requires often initially reported to give up something first. The Tai Chi practitioner does not experience this as a loss but as an investment. By accepting it, it will create a greater freedom of movement within a better position than relativly can be taken by the other. Then the other must give up his position is not as objective but as a side effect experienced by both parties. (There is not so much as a loser in competition, but a recognition of being the better half in the other). For me this was the way to deal with the person that I've become now. It's not really complicated if you know what you can do, and your borders are not your limitations. Also this is a form of acceptance.

Fibro-fog is another aspect that can really throw a person off. Fibro-fog basically means that you can not think clearly and that is sometimes quite difficult.This ranges from doing "stupid" things (like putting the salt & pepper in the refrigerator and putting the milk in the cupboard or forgetting words you have used since kindergarten) to very severe fibro-fog where you can't function (write checks, drive a car, cook dinner, follow a conversation, etc). I often suffer from memory problems as some of the files that exist on my hard drive are erased especially many memories from the past. But some things excist no longer and happened shorter than one year ago. Yet I know I do here to save the story to run. With statements of "Well, help me out on the road."Many times when people are experiencing fibro-fog they don't even realize it! It can be so severe that people may think you are getting dementia. Fibro-fog can occur in short periods here and there, but sometimes days or weeks, even this is different from person to person.

Well I stick to this phrase like always: “Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

Clearing the attic… gets your mind cleared as well?

Dear Bloggers,

“A clean attic is the sign of clear mind.”

When the attic is clean there’s room for new things, and it just feels better.

I asked myself the question am I happy with my situation now?

I find as I get older, I have to consciously question my own beliefs and attitudes, and not just mention how I do things.

Tai chi is not the only thing that gets me thinking this way, but it’s a big part of it.

As I advance in my skills I find my teacher and my master keep correcting me in small ways. They constantly have me looking at how I’m doing things.

The really interesting part of this is that I sometimes notice big differences when I change little things.

I start slowly but surely to move in the right direction.

As it is not only the body but also the mind that needs to relearn how to work in harmony again.
That the body needs to take it a bit slower does not specifically mean that the mind should.

It is like following a young and full energetic child.

My body is the parent that is so tired of doing too much in a day and my mind is that little child that loves to run all the time.

If you learn the child too hold your hand when you walk to school, it will walk next too you most of the time and you feel better as you have things under control.

This weekend we have been clearing out the attic of our house (tons of unprocessed paperwork and old studybooks) And oh my goodness it is hard to throw away these “old” memories.
I’ve found that a clean mental attic is also good for my tai chi practice.

Since this approach works so well with tai chi, I tend to use it in my life in general or at least as much as possible.
Sometimes life situations change, but we’ve become so habitual that we don’t think to change the way we do things in response.

As I will get busier with work it seems I have less time to work on this site, and that’s not a happy thought for me.

Also my spouce thinks I am spending too much time on it, I see it as a form of relaxation.

Only yesterday it dawned on me that all I have to do is make a couple of very small and simple changes to my schedule and I’ll have the time I need.

How’s your mental attic looking?

Have the conditions in your life changed recently?

If so, take a look around your attic and see if any changes are in order.

Life doesn’t always have to be difficult.

There’s a truth in the saying: “Life is Good” but we are not always willing to see it.

Eventhough we are not all perfect.

Have you ever questioned yourself what is perfect?

This picture has been made by the industry of perfume, clothing and film.

If they would get real and use real people for their adds, life would become even better.

“If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven't met everybody”

The Old Sailor