What if you start hating your job?

Dear Bloggers,

Someone I know is having a hard time at the moment as the atmosphere on the workfloor has become less human and more stressful as the chefs only think in digits. This is creating a lot of stress among the co workers as well and slowly she starts hating her job.

I was taught as a young boy to never to use the word “hate”. As there are many other words to choose from. You probably don’t use this word in your house very much either (I hope).

I agree it’s far too strong a word to use when it comes to describing the opposing football team or even a workplace bully.But the reality was for the longest time…

She hates her job, and is afraid to admit it.

If she admits it, would that mean that she’d been wasting her time with all of the energy and hours she has invested in this company?
This question had me concerned, and I discovered that if you hate your job you’re going to burnout.

It’s not a matter of “if”, but “when”.

Also if you hate your job, you’re not fooling anyone. It’s obvious. Hating your job shows up in how you walk into the office, how you answer the phone, and how you participate in meetings.

The easiest way to tell if you hate your job is that it shows up in your language. I had to find some facts about how people think about this issue.

In fact 183 people actually said that on Twitter on Monday before 7 am (I did a Twitter search on “I hate my job”).

Scary, huh?

Most of us don’t actually say it because it feels really uncomfortable.If we’re not actually saying those words it can still show up in more subtle ways like:

• You avoid telling people what you do for a living.
• You never share how your work day went with your family.
• You’ve got worries of impending work doom spinning through your head on Sunday night (dreading Monday mornings).

You can also see it coming if you frequently catch yourself saying, “another day, another dollar” or “I’ve got to go the work today” (instead of “I get to go to work today”).

When you hate your job, you’ll find lots of varied emotions…Each one of the emotions has their own story.
In this case, emotions are predispositions for action.Your emotion comes first and that inspires the action. Imagine if you’re showing up at the office in emotions of resentment, anger, and resignation when you enter the office doors?

The Physical Impact of Hating your Job

When you hate your job it takes a physical toll.The body tension generated from hating your job can lead to all kinds of health related issues. The one that I experienced was an overall tightness at work that started showing up at home and even at being on the push bike.

When you show up this way every day it starts to have a cumulative effect. You can even feel your body cringe when you walk in the door. After awhile you may be slumped at your desk and start finding your muscles tightening especially in your shoulders, hamstrings and lower back. And this is also draining your energy, it makes you extremely tired.
If you’re stuck in this body shape all the time it can tough consequences. This can lead to your body being into a permanent uncomfortable shape of leaning with shoulders forward, a slight bend at the waste, and head down. First of all you need to try to find a way to stop hating your job and if this is not working go find the energy to get an other job.

How do you stop hating your job

The good news is that you can try to stop the job hating and transform your job into one you love. I like to recommend stopping a few things first because that seems to take less energy (versus starting something new).

Here are a few things you can stop doing now to stop hating your job.

Looking Busy

Speak up if you not using your capacity.  The trap can be to get into a job where you using 10% of your capabilities. Often times the corporate environments silently encourages employees to get into a position where they are an expert and know how to do their job.  That’s nice, but sometimes it’s too comfortable and you lose your hunger for creativity and innovation.  You get bored.  You lose your edge.  If you’re using what you can really bring to the table then let someone know and start considering adding something your interested in to your plate.

Hanging around with Co-workers (at least the gripers)
If everyone was complaining about their job at the last happy hour you attended, then stop going with them.  Begin seeking out those people who love their job and go get coffee with them. This has an amazing impact because just as griping is infectious, so is passion!

Bonus Tip *Answer yourself the question “Why?” – Why are you working?  This is the supercharger for all careers. When you connect with the “why” you’re career will take off. You’ll find energy in places you never knew, you’ll wake-up early, and maybe even be disappointed that the work day ends!

The Old Sailor,

On the way of finding peace within

Dear Bloggers,


This week I went to a fysiotherapist that is booking good results with learning fibromyalgia patients a different way of live and an other way of breathing. The so called breathing from within. I have trouble to believe in these kind of health guru’s but this time this rather normal looking therapist got my attention and told me a few things that could be right. As I am believer of practising breathing techniques from the Chi that I learned during my army days. (nearly 100 years ago, when ships were still made of wood.) These are still basic needs for a guy like me that starts every morning with pain but does not want to complain. Time to find peace within yourself.

Every person has a fibromyalgia thermometer

Knowing how to find peace in your life doesn’t need to be difficult, in fact if we can simply align ourselves with the present moment and enjoy what we do, then peace is sure to follow. This sounds easier than it is. The reality is that our minds have a way of always desiring new things and always getting lost in negative thinking patterns whether they be of the past or future. There is also the nature of desiring fulfilment in some future moment, external achievement or outcome. By desiring to achieve something externally we create and inner imbalance. Instead wouldn’t it be better to focus our energy on attaining inner peace and happiness which is what creates a blissful life? This is not to say that we should give up on our dreams, but instead to create balance within, so we can truly realise our dreams. If we can shake off those negative thinking patterns and align our energy with what we truly want in life, then soon enough our dreams will become reality.

In order to create balance in this area of your life, you have to use the energy of your thoughts to harmonize with what you desire. Your mental energy attracts what you think about. Thoughts that pay homage to frustration will attract frustration. When you say or think anything resembling There’s nothing I can do; my life has spun out of control, and I’m trapped, that’s what you’ll attract—that is, resistance to your highest desires! Every thought of frustration is like purchasing a ticket for more frustration. Every thought that agrees that you’re stuck is asking the Universe to send you even more of that glue to keep you stuck. This video shows to me even if you are poor you can do something positive for others. Playing for Change does explain that we can also bring peace through music and enrich our live in a different way.

The single most important tool to being in balance is knowing that you and you alone are responsible for the imbalance between what you dream your life is meant to be, and the daily habits that drain life from that dream. You can create a new alignment with your mental energy and instruct the Universe to send opportunities to correct this imbalance. When you do so, you discover that while the world of reality has its limits, the world of your imagination is without boundaries. Out of this boundless imagination comes the seedling of a reality that’s been crying out to be restored to a balanced environment.

Restoring The Balance - The objective of this principle is to create a balance between dreams and habits. The least complicated way to begin is to recognize the signs of habitual ways of being, and then learn to shift your thinking to being in balance with your dreams. So what are your dreams? What is it that lives within you that’s never gone away? What inner night-light continues to glow, even if it’s only a glimmer, in your thoughts and dreams? Whatever it is, however absurd it may seem to others, if you want to restore the balance between your dreams and your habits, you need to make a shift in the energy that you’re contributing to your dreams. If you’re out of balance, it’s primarily because you’ve energetically allowed your habits to define your life. Those habits, and the consequences thereof, are the result of the energy you’ve given them.” -Excerpt from Being In Balance by Dr Wayne Dyer

And that is exactly what is wrong in my case. So it is time to turn the world upside down and inside out. There are only a few that can do all this on their own. Time to turn this energy switch and run on a smoother pattern.

To truly understand how to find peace in your life, you need to experience the beauty of stepping our of your negative habits or thinking patterns and enjoy the potential and bliss of the present moment. A great way to experience this is through meditation, yoga or practicing a new way of breathing and being completely present for a moment or two each day.

The Old Sailor,

Do you believe there is a God?

Dear Bloggers,

This morning I woke up at five and had a sad kind of feeling over me. My thoughts wandered of again to my younger days. I do not have that many memories left after my accident unless the memories had a very deep impact on my live. But first of all let me do some introducion on the story. This story goes back more than 20 years. My dad had a stable with ponys and those were for rent as it was his hobby many guys and girls helped on a volunteerly base to get the stable going and keep the prices affordable for everyone. Carolien was one of them and she was a good looking young girl who lived during the holidays on a campsite with her family. She had a lot of headaches during the summer period but no one came to the conclusion that there was something wrong inside as she was a happy and cheerful girl. What a shame that she was ripped out of our lives and my God what have these parents gone through.

 My daughter is slowly climbing up to the time of adolescence and it reminds me of these days that I was struggling with hormones, emotions and all other interests in the other sex. But deep inside I was too shy to get involved with these girls. I am not a Don Juan and that was what God had forbidden. I was brought up with religion and I had to go to church during my youth. I stopped believing after one of my dearest friends was killed by a brain tumor and our dear God did nothing to save her. God killed my friend or at the very least stood by doing nothing while she died, while allowing people like surgeon’s who did not recognize this to live on with no regrets.

My friend, we’ll call her Carolien, died this past weekend at the age of 14. She was diagnosed having a severe headache problem but no one thought that it would be a brain tumor, and she could have had every type of surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy possible at that time, but no one came to the idea that she would have a brain tumor. When she collapsed at the volleybal training they rushed her into the operating theatre and tried to remove the tumor or at least to make it smaller. It was to far grown to remove it and it was not good enough to save her. She was sweet, caring, beautiful, and strong; she had recently gotten into high school and had a lifetime worth of goals and dreams ahead of her. Carolien had made plans for her future, and eventually becoming a mother. She volunteered in her community and was kind to everyone she met, regardless of whether she personally liked them. She was active in her church, sharing her many talents with anyone who asked.

Let me now add a disclaimer that I don’t believe in a God – there are a lot of things we don’t understand about the universe, and I don’t pretend to have any answers. But when my friend died, I couldn’t help but wonder how someone who believes in a God can justify what happened to her. It’s the classic question – “why do bad things happen to good people?” See, I understand that religious people generally believe in free will, so sometimes when bad things happen to us it’s a result of some action we took. For instance, if I drove my car to the grocery store while it was snowing and got into an accident injuring myself, it’s reasonable to assume that my choice to go for a drive while the roads were slippery played a role in my injuries. It was my choice, and I paid the consequences, despite how inherently good or bad I might be. I also understand that the definition of “good” or “bad” is going to vary between people.

However, I’m not sure of anyone that would consider an early death, like what Carolien had to endure, a good thing. And I don’t think her brain tumor had anything to do with a choice she made (in contrast to some cancers, like lung, which are often caused by an action like smoking). There was nothing she could have done or put into her body that caused that brain tumor – it was some sort of perverse accident, a deadly combination of genetics and environmental factors beyond her control. So then I ask, if you believe in God, what is your justification for this occurrence? Why did God give Carolien a brain tumor (or allow her to die of a brain tumor) while letting serial rapists live? Why did God allow a tsunami to kill over 200,000 people in 2004, while doing nothing to stop a repeat child-molester? Is it because “God works in mysterious ways”? That response always seemed like a bit of a cop-out – if you don’t know the answer, say so. Did my friend sin, and this was her punishment? I don’t buy that – she wasn’t perfect (no one is), but there are many people in this world far worse. Did God smite her just for his own amusement? Or it is possible, just maybe, that God had nothing to do with any of this – that sometimes life sucks and good people pay the consequence?

If God is loving and all-powerful, then he would have saved my friend. He wouldn’t have let her die before her parents, leaving behind a friend who is now considering with continued attention what goals he has left that didn’t involve a lifetime with her. The world is a worse place today, because Carolien is no longer here to share her love and talents with the rest of us. I wrote this blog in loving memory of my dear friend Carolien may she rest in peace for the love of all.

The Old Sailor,

Happy Birthday Old Sailor

Dear Bloggers,


It is that time of the year again, soon there is my birthday to celebrate and year 42 is there (that is 15.340 days).
Like every year the discussion starts what should we get you this year.
And funny enough the answer is already there, like always.

This year I get a bunch of flowers as the real thing comes later. But when it comes to surviving middle age, sometimes a man has to lose his bearings to find his way

Ever since Erik Erikson coined the term "midlife crisis" more than 30 years ago, male melancholy around halftime has been poked and prodded. The skeptics believe that the 40s funk is just a self-fulfilling prophecy for self-indulgent guys.
And given all the therapeutic silliness that gets sold as midlife fixes, it's tempting to treat the male willies as a psycho-bunch. Bad idea. Male midlife crisis is a time-honored trough, described by Dante and Shakespeare.

"There are multiple paths through midlife crisis,"at least that is what the experts say. Each man's journey is unique, shaped by his history and his hopes, his relationships, his blood pressure, and the angle of his dangle.
To be sure, the intensity of the midlife passage varies greatly. For some men, it's a dark ordeal that includes depression and is best navigated with a doctor's help. For most, it's a less perilous, but still demanding, midcourse correction. But whether the midlife transit is traumatic or just tricky, self-medication with bourbon is a bad plan, and nobody is served by pretending we're too tough to have troubles.

Our goal is to come through middle life as better men. Sure, we'll be a tick less quick off the dribble, and yes, we'll need to rely on others once in a while. But we'll also be wiser, calmer, stronger of spirit, and even more attractive to women of all ages. There are no perfect routes to your best older self. But we asked experts and some men we admire for guiding thoughts will ease the transit.

The midlife stew often starts with some garden-variety boredom. If you've been hoeing the same row for 20 years, only an idiot wouldn't wonder if there aren't some more interesting rows somewhere else. On top of it, we often get our first bolt of serious bad news: the death of a parent, trouble in a marriage, a career setback.

Often, come our 40s, some undeniable facts start eroding the dubious pillars on which we've built our notion of a man.
Remember Tolstoy's wisdom that "all happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
"The sadness of growing old is part of becoming an individual," and "The spirit finds an opening in the brokenness."

Express yourself, with anger. Nobody is suggesting that every hostile thought should get fired across the port bow. We've got to live together. But part of becoming a fully grown man is saying what's on your mind, respectfully, without rancor, straight up, no ice. But when the mortgage payment isn't at risk, it might help to be ever-so-slightly less eager to please. Speak your piece. Conflict is rarely catastrophic; it's just the sound of life happening.

Nope, sorry, this is not permission to act on those frisky feelings about Fiona from finance; just a reminder that the routinization of life saps our energy. Seek new tastes. Try new foods. Try reading a book, maybe two, maybe even one written by a woman. Or better yet, by a Latina woman. Get respectful of legends in areas other than war, and money. You're bored because you haven't learned anything new since the day you graduated from school.

Take up a new sport. Any new skill or competence -- cooking, gardening, carpentry, car care, golf, guitar, or origami -- makes the spirit more receptive. Get outside. Walk in the woods or even down your street at dusk or dawn. There is consolation in nature, inspiration in angles of light.

The Ferrari won't help. Nor will that teinted driver. There's no talismanic cure. "We deny our own sense of failure," says Levinson, "by using narcissistic pleasures as a device for reassurance." The only answer, wrote Jung, is to turn directly toward the approaching darkness and "find out what it wants from you."

The Old Sailor,

Yet another year is nearly over

Dear Bloggers,

2009 started with many questions but the main question was: what am I going to do with my life? I was working as a receptionist but wasn't too lucky with my body. And pain became my enemy, it wasn't the job itself as I was enjoying it very much, my body was hitting the brakes more and more and in the beginning of May it came to a full stop. Not like the years before where I could have sworn that it was my "call".

Well this year has been wonderful to me when it comes to personal and spiritual growth. I have been blogging and writing like never before, I was at home on sick leave and experienced lots of other things. I have banned the “R word” out of my vocabulary.

Unfortunately the last few months I had plenty time to concentrate on this blog like I want to but that is to change now. At least at this moment I can say that the postings will be better in every way but you know how it is, it looks good when you say it but once you are there...

For 2010 I have a few projects planned and I am sure it will all go well. I am using my time to get things rolling to start a new life and in a new job. Financially it will probally get a lot better. As soon we have sold our house. The new lifewill be less hectic but that is good forevery one.

Now the question for 2010 is no longer " what am I going to do with my life?" but instead " How can I get better at what I do?". Life is a long journey and we learn from everything that happens on the way.

Well yet another year has passed, I am very happy with mine, how was yours?

A verry Happy New Year to all of you

The Old Sailor,

Clearing the attic… gets your mind cleared as well?

Dear Bloggers,

“A clean attic is the sign of clear mind.”

When the attic is clean there’s room for new things, and it just feels better.

I asked myself the question am I happy with my situation now?

I find as I get older, I have to consciously question my own beliefs and attitudes, and not just mention how I do things.

Tai chi is not the only thing that gets me thinking this way, but it’s a big part of it.

As I advance in my skills I find my teacher and my master keep correcting me in small ways. They constantly have me looking at how I’m doing things.

The really interesting part of this is that I sometimes notice big differences when I change little things.

I start slowly but surely to move in the right direction.

As it is not only the body but also the mind that needs to relearn how to work in harmony again.
That the body needs to take it a bit slower does not specifically mean that the mind should.

It is like following a young and full energetic child.

My body is the parent that is so tired of doing too much in a day and my mind is that little child that loves to run all the time.

If you learn the child too hold your hand when you walk to school, it will walk next too you most of the time and you feel better as you have things under control.

This weekend we have been clearing out the attic of our house (tons of unprocessed paperwork and old studybooks) And oh my goodness it is hard to throw away these “old” memories.
I’ve found that a clean mental attic is also good for my tai chi practice.

Since this approach works so well with tai chi, I tend to use it in my life in general or at least as much as possible.
Sometimes life situations change, but we’ve become so habitual that we don’t think to change the way we do things in response.

As I will get busier with work it seems I have less time to work on this site, and that’s not a happy thought for me.

Also my spouce thinks I am spending too much time on it, I see it as a form of relaxation.

Only yesterday it dawned on me that all I have to do is make a couple of very small and simple changes to my schedule and I’ll have the time I need.

How’s your mental attic looking?

Have the conditions in your life changed recently?

If so, take a look around your attic and see if any changes are in order.

Life doesn’t always have to be difficult.

There’s a truth in the saying: “Life is Good” but we are not always willing to see it.

Eventhough we are not all perfect.

Have you ever questioned yourself what is perfect?

This picture has been made by the industry of perfume, clothing and film.

If they would get real and use real people for their adds, life would become even better.

“If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven't met everybody”

The Old Sailor