Men and wanting only one thing

Dear Bloggers,

Sex researchers are peculiar beasts. Armed with their tape measures, clipboards, surveys, and hidden cameras, they seek to provide a peephole from which to scrutinize that most private of spheres, human sexuality.

The idea that men think about sex every seven seconds, like the claim that we only use 10 percent of our brains, is often repeated but rarely sourced. The number doesn't bear up against scrutiny. According to the Kinsey Report, 54% of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent a few times a week or a few times a month, and 4 percent less than once a month. Even though the Kinsey Report relies on men to self-report on how often they think about sex, it's still eye opening to find that just under half of men aren't even thinking about sex once a day. Clearly, the seven-second rule may be a tad hyperbolic.

“Not Tonight, Honey” is a well known phrase for most man and this might lead to sexual frustration. As man are not all that good at being turned down.

The stereotype about the sex-starved man and the disinterested woman may be more than just a cliche. As it turns out, the instant a woman enters a secure relationship, her sex drive begins to plummet. Four years in, a German study found, fewer than half of women wanted regular sex. And after 20 years, only 20 percent did.

Among men, libido held steady no matter how long they'd been in the relationship. Researchers provide an evolutionary explanation—women's sex drive is initially high to facilitate pair bonding. Meanwhile, desire for tenderness showed the opposite trend. Ninety percent of women craved tenderness, but of men who'd been in relationships for ten years, only 25 percent said they hoped for the same from their partner.

In Three Minutes Flat

Judging from the average porn flick, romance novel, or locker room conversation, a Martian landing on Earth would probably assume that intercourse would last somewhere in the vicinity of 40 minutes. But if that Martian were to actually enter into a relationship, he might be in for a big disappointment. Such marathon sessions are the exception to the rule; surveys find that the average sex session lasts from three to ten minutes. Not that any of this should be so surprising as the average hotel porn viewer watches for just 12 minutes.

I was in a conversation the other day (the only thing I do if there are not that many people on the bus and every subject is welcome as the average run is approx 30 minutes) and the passenger has a less boring ride as well.

This particular young lady who is studying social science introduced me to a new level and we got onto the subject of dating. A lot has changed a total new generation has entered don’t ask, you know how women can talk in circles and the woman expressed discouragement because the men she met were only interested in One Thing. According to her this was not what she was looking for in a relationship, she was more looking for a guy that could take care of himself and sex would not be a main thing. For a moment I was puzzled and thought what has happened to this young lady. Has she had some bad experiences with guys.

 

I said “So what?”  It is a fact that half of the populatian of the human male species are only interested in One Thing.  But I think you should not be to careful when dating as men are all hunters it is in there brain from day one. Only this time I added, “Maybe I am only interested in One Thing, too, but is that a problem to have a conversation with me?”  My poor passenger, whom I thought nothing could shock, blanched. And she said: “No of course there is no problem in conversating but you are so open minded that it shocked me.” She smiled and said: “Maybe you are right about the guys there might be some nice personality behind the hunter.” She got off the bus and waved goodbye to me and smiled.

 

The thing is that men aren’t really interested in only One Thing.  But they certainly need to get that One Thing out of the way.  And, the truth is so do women.  At least, once we reach a certain age. If we aren’t looking for a mother or father for our children, or, necessarily a good provider, if we’re looking for a lover, a companion, and a great man or woman to hang with for some measure of the duration, then we need to be honest with ourselves:  doesn’t The Thing count for something? Don’t we want a man or woman who makes our stomach jump, our heart flop, our mouth long for the kiss?  Aren’t we looking for romance and isn’t romance that tingly feeling we can’t explain? Not in all cases it fades away. But my question is: “Isn’t that the reason women get sex and love so mixed up with each other?”  To love someone you have to want them to touch you and this should not all come from one side.

 

I mean, let’s get real.  We’re dating for a reason. We can go to the movies with a friend.  We’ve got our kids to love, our parents to take care of.  We are all grown up now.  We want someone to take our pants off.

 

A good friend of mine said once: “If a man isn’t thinking about pussy all the time he’s just not paying attention.”  It should be a qoute from a golfer he said, no I didn’t look the quote up because it seemed so preposterous, but I did do an informal survey once when I was still sailing but these guys are all a bit special at least that is what i think. All the men agreed that they thought about it all the time. So I am not only a horndog I am also an intellectual and I would further like to explain:

 

“It’s contextual. We think about a thousand things a day, but pussy is always in the mix. Say we’re thinking about the curve of something, even something mathematical. Well, that leads us back to a woman’s curves. It’s like the shape of a Ferrari or a beautiful lined ship. Everything is designed that it gives the feeling of arousal.  It all leads back my dear. And that is how men think about sex every eight seconds.” Great designers are just horny bastards.

 

I would never hesitate to stereotype my own sex.  Recently when yet another old boyfriend got in touch with my wife through Facebook, I sighed. “Is this one divorced, too?  Every time a man gets divorced, he contacts you. I know what they want.”

 

Yeh, the One Thing. But the truth is that over the years some old girlfriends have found me on Facebook and none of them have wanted that. They just wanted to reconnect, see how I was. This may be because none of my relationships, except one, have ended badly and even the one that ended badly did not involve knives or guns or stalking. A lot of Facebook friends probably hope that they did things better than you.

 

Still, with the latest contact, I asked a male friend what he thought this newest woman might want. “I don’t know” he said.  “I’ve contacted several old girlfriends and it was never for that. But then I am sort of a weird man.”

 

You can tell he was a big help.

 

Turns out I was a very fond memory. Which was nice. 

 

My wife and I got The Thing out of the way pretty quickly and I am still married to herckly. Women are way more in control than we like to admit. Men know that. 

The Old Sailor,

What is on every man's mind

Dear Bloggers,

Every man with a woman knows the duality of relationships.
It is a situation where you get caught in as soon as you are in a steady relationship, when you’re relationship is getting in jeopardy, you go out hunting again.
Even if she's the perfect woman for you, a woman who might be stunningly attractive, most of us feel compelled to look at other women.
As men we are dealing differently with fantasies then women.
We are more visual hunters, and that is the reason why we think so much of sex.
Our brains are simply not hooked to one fantasy and yes, sex sells.



Women don't appreciate this male dilemma.
Oftentimes, they will do everything in their power to discourage it.
Irrational violent mood swings and arguments are their main weapons of choice.



The goal here is to master the art of this type of female appreciation, while keeping it a strictly covert act.
And although the absolute greatest tool for this is no doubt a good pair of sunglasses, wearing them is not always possible, for reasons of wardrobe restrictions and weather.

What follows is a list of different approaches and techniques for both sides of the male relationship perspective; the one who wants to keep his wife happy, and the other that wants to protect his own ass while taking in the wonderful sights.
Enjoy.



Women are suckers for anything that comes close to a public display of affection.
Kisses, hugs, hand holding, you name it, and they almost certainly love it.
One of the easiest ways to check out other women then is to exploit this weakness by showing affection for your partner and physically clearing your field of vision.



The womanly instinct: using a woman's nature against her.
Your woman's mistrust for other women is your best friend here.
Essentially, most women are three to four drinks away from being either lesbian curious or in a vicious catfight... such are the contradictions of the fairer sex. There is no way for us to understand this fully, as our penises don't allow this sort of information to compute.

That said, here's a way to play off this female curiosity: The negative observation Commenting on the appearance of other women is a sure-fire means of openly and safely taking in the sight of other women, if done properly, make sure that anything you say sheds a negative light on the other woman and a positive one on yours, making her feel somehow superior.

Examples:
"Wow, look at how trashy she is."
"Doesn't anyone have natural breasts anymore?"
"Man, imagine what she really looks like without all that make-up."

Comments and questions of this sort will catch your wife's attention and she'll delight in the opportunity to shoot off one of her own -- all the while with you watching.



Diversions and distractions: buying time.
Oftentimes, the best way for you to look at other women is by getting your lady to look elsewhere.
Here are a couple of easy ways to do just that.

The point: If you happen to be in a shopping area, your environment is ideally suited to maximum "bird watching."
If you're in a pinch, consider pointing to a store or product and saying, "Hey, look at that!"
This works especially well if you're lucky enough to be near something you know she will be interested in (such as jewels or shoes).
This can also work well outside of shopping areas, with literally anything in your field of vision acting as a potential smoke screen.



The quest for opinion: Asking her opinions on products is another good way to go about creating time for you to peek at others.
This can include one-upping the last idea by not only pointing but also inquiring about the objects in storefront windows, or if worse comes to worst, cars, buildings or anything else in sight.

The purse hunt Almost every woman comes with a built-in escape hatch -- her purse. By simply asking her to look for something in her bag you can create the time needed to catch a glimpse of other women.
This can include anything from asking for a piece of gum, a breath mint or even a pen. And now, on to the art of stalling...



Stalling: lulling your partner. Certain commonly engaged-in acts can be useful tools in this situation, as most are far too boring for your girlfriend to closely inspect.
Provided you wait until she looks away, these are always available to you, and can be done on a moment's notice.
The shoelace tying Raise your foot and lean your shoe on any raised surface; this keeps you from having to bend down, which would limit your sightlines.
Hopefully at this stage in the game, you can tie a knot without looking.

The dandruff removal:
Wiping dandruff from your shoulders.
Admittedly this is one of the crudest techniques around, but one that can still prove helpful in a pinch, and most especially when walking beside an attractive woman.
Simply stroke your hand across your shoulders slowly, as if wishing to rid yourself of stubborn yet imaginary dandruff.

Honesty: when lying gets tiring.
For those fed up with hiding, honesty truly is the best policy, especially if you like to fight.
That said, being in the dating doghouse doesn't always have to go hand in hand with the honest approach, and if your wife is cool with it, you might even be able to enjoy looking at other women with her.

This works best with couples in long-term relationships who are completely comfortable with each other.
In this case, your girlfriend might have no trouble with you saying, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
Of course, the only way to find out is by trying it.
Choose the right words. When going with the honest approach, make sure to steer clear of words like, "hot," "sexy" and "smoking."
These words imply a flat-out lustful sexuality, which may put your girl on the defensive.
Sticking with softer words like "beautiful," "pretty" and "cute" can help create the trust you need for honest exchanges.



WHAT IF SHE CATCHES YOU?
If she happens to catch you in the act of looking/staring at another woman, you can do one of two things: Either resort to the forementioned tactic of commenting and demeaning, or simply fess up.
The latter option might often be your best, and frankly only, option, as you can make matters worse if she sees through your lies.
If you know you can't get away with it, tell her something like, "Doesn't she look like Cameron Diaz?" or simply, "Okay, I was looking at her".
"But you have to admit she's attractive, right?"
No matter what, however, never compliment a woman in a way that can make your wife self-conscious.

Don't, for example, ever talk about breasts, butt size, legs, or weight issues, as this would bother most women.
Any attempt to cover your tracks, like telling her you heard 74% of women with breast implants are blonde will only backfire, as no doubt she'll think you not only consider her breasts are too small, but you also wish she were blonde (or blonder) too.



APPRECIATE OTHER WOMEN
Sure, this is shallow, but it's a necessary evil, something we not only like to do, but must.
Following some of these suggestions will help make your life more headache-free, and will keep your girl from catching on.

Make sure to use my tips sporadically, alternating them as often as you can. Predictability and familiarity are your enemies. In the end, some would say that if you have to use these tips, then you might be whipped.
But remember that knowledge is essential, especially if you happen to catch her applying these techniques.

I just follow these lines in life:”Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,