Fathersday is not so special

 

Dear Bloggers,

 

This year we celebrated Father's Day on Sunday the 21st of June It’s not like Mother's Day when my wife is getting gifts and breakfast in bed. Most of the time I get a phone call. When I am lucky, I might get a new T-shirt with a funny print.

 

At the moment there are some men that have been crazed by their country and they bring their idiotic ideologies to our countries. And they are not the kind of man that you want as a father or a spouse. If raping young women is normal in your home country, you should not be here. I don’t like this kind of medieval and primate behavior.

 

In a world where many men still try to dominate women and see them as mere responsibilities, my dad has always been different. He taught us to dream big and that no one can tell us what girls can’t do.

 

“Learn to drive so you don’t have to depend on anyone to get around, and you’ll be safer,” my dad advised. I replied, “None of my friends know how to drive, and I can always get a ride or ask you or a male friend to drive me.”

 

My dad insisted, “Women should be independent. Your independence will empower you.” This wasn’t a typical conversation between a father and daughter at that time. My dad was truly one of a kind! This is what I have taken from him for my own girls. One such example is when I enrolled them for higher education coaching, despite people around him questioning why so much effort was needed when all girls supposedly need is to find a small job and eventually have a family. I don’t think that girls should think in that kind of old-fashioned ways.

 

Let me go back to my own youth. After my army days, I was lost and trying hard to find jobs that would pay my bills. I didn’t care much for being part of a family and I went with a good friend to start a life in Australia. I was traveling alone to an unknown country where I didn’t know anyone. My friend traveled with me to the last point in the country. I was traveling from Perth to Melbourne and to Sydney in Australia. He could have dropped me off at the train station like most parents, but he took the extra effort to come as far as he could, knowing he would need a visa to go further. His presence gave me the courage to face the new challenges ahead. He dropped us off at the airport.

 

An example of his dedication happened when I was still living at home and I had to join the army. Respect every person that has achieved more than you and treat them with the same respect as you respect me. I got a dad who was not my friend and also not my enemy. He was tough as nails and caring for the weaker ones in society. I was just there and did many stupid things in my life. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, as my dad told me. So the Army would solve a lot of my chimeras and my attitude being fearless. And yes he was right. I served my time and yes, the enemy shoots back with real ammo.

We had not that many ladies in the army (40 years ago this was an exception as a girl to be in the army), although the ones we had were in office jobs. When we went on trainings in the field, they joined us in parts of the operations. For the first time, I realized that women are as normal to be in the army as they were in my youth, in between the horses and driving the tractor at my dad's pony farm.

 

I was one of the guys that didn’t see her as something special and she was just one of us. Many blokes could not handle that a woman was in their surroundings, pretty old-fashioned thinking I would say. One day we had a so-called family day for the parents and the loved ones. Our lady corporal was present on the exercition platform and marched with us. My dad saw that and, while I was on the way to them, he told me to tell her that she was doing a great job. He believed this would encourage more women to join the army, to enter the male-dominated war industry, and to help women earn respect. His thoughtful gesture showed his continuous support for women’s empowerment. He believed in a new world.

 

Nowadays I am the dad; mine has passed away several years ago, and I try to be a better dad to my two daughters. I hope that they will say: At every step of life’s hard choices, my dad stood by me silently, never boasting about the sacrifices he made. He is a silent warrior who never saw me as any less because I am a girl and always built me up to face life head-on.

 

We need more fathers who take that extra step to empower their daughters in every way possible and more male allies who believe that empowering women is not just a choice, but a duty. A little extra support can change one’s life beyond our imagination.

 

"What I'd give if I could say, 'Hello Dad' in the same old way. "To hear his voice and see his smile, to sit with him and chat for a while."

 

The Old Sailor,