If your partner is breaking down at work

Dear Bloggers,

It has been awhile as last year didn't finish that good for all of us. That is also the only reason that I haven't been very active on writing on my blog. I apologize and hope that I will find a little more time to share my stories. Today I will write about the hassle that my spouse has with her direct manager. Who turned all of a sudden a nice working environment into a hell gate. It all started approx. A half a year ago as it was time for the annual assessment. She somehow was not doing it right according to her manager and she needed to write a coachingsplanning for that. So I helped her out with making the planning. But her boss then does nothing with this planning and put it aside. It was probably too much work for him.

 

For many weeks she has skirted, danced, boggled and boogied around it and kinda explained why it happened but never really gone into much “depth” as in: what happened, how it happened, how it felt. So I got bored, I have a few hours, am tired of talking to my wife and that is why I am gonna blabber here for a while. As my wife is sleeping as she is tired and feels very empty. Our conclusion is a work burnout or even a “nervous breakdown”?
You could also call it an emotional breakdown or perhaps a mental breakdown, but in essence a “breakdown” has occurred when someone becomes unable to deal with normal day-to-day life.

It can be ignited following a particular trauma, a series of events, or can even happen randomly and out of the blue with no precipitating identifiable cause.
“Nervous breakdown” isn’t even a medical term because a breakdown is far more easily accepted than bipolar, depression or anxiety; it is stigma at work!
A breakdown generally occurs when your circuits become overloaded. Your brain, heart, soul, emotions whatever you are under so much stress that they short circuit, and then shut off, and then you can’t find a nice clean unbroken fuse to mend them.

A manager who brings you down so much that he was discussing with her to quit her job which set in motion a chain of events which would cause her to lose her income, her best friends and all of this happening whilst she was suffering from a new kind of medication for her lungs. As her asthma is becoming a pretty serious physical illness which could have killed her if there would have been no intervention.

I think any one or two of those things could have the power to trigger a breakdown, but to have so many stressful emotional events hitting you when you are already physically, mentally and emotionally devastated from your asthma and a boss that's on your neck. Will get you into a breakdown doesn’t surprise me.

Let me try to explain to you what happened.
The day my spouse realised something was seriously wrong was the Tuesday she spent working with a coachingsperson that gave her the last emotional hit and then she snapped. She totally lost it and was on an obvious level for several hours before sitting down with her boss. Who was telling her that she did not belong here as she was worse than a new trainee it was like she was stinged with a flaming stick. Now I had wanted to phone someone at this point, I knew something was brewing and I was worried as this will not be a happy ending. 
 

She spent the next day glued to the bed, unable to move, she came out of bed as she had to get the kids to school and she evaded the actual events which had happened the day before. I thought that by reading and over thinking them I would be able to forget them. I would be able to make her forget about this nasty thoughts. She was browsing on her mobile phone all day to find a solution for all her problems. I told her it is better really to speak to someone. 


On the Wednesday she crawled to the job again, on the Friday I saw her totally crashing and I played the psychologist again, on the Saturday she fled into painting the walls.
After that week the specific days have become blurry, everything is just a mess in her mind. I know I know that she fought herself I know she has tried to rebuild her life, I know I played the occasional psychologist, I know I tried to do anything and everything that I could to fight what was happening to her and help her to get our lives back to something that we were able to enjoy.

Her decision making capacity was shot to fuck, her conversational ability had gone; (and yes she normally talks a …..lot.) anxiety, depression, were showing itself more and more The fact she had overcome all of this only a few months before contributed to the continuation of her depressive episode with her lungs!

I don’t think anyone can truly understand what having a breakdown feels like unless they have experienced one. Like depression and burn out “breakdown” is an overused word and does not in any way fully describe the pain and torment your mind is constantly under. You literally cannot function on a normal day-to-day level; your body is besieged with physical pain and your mind is engulfed with the sort of emotional pain I would never wish on anyone.

Relationships and Friendships following a breakdown…
One of the hardest things she had to deal with was being told repeatedly that who she thought were her friends were not really her friends (an example of being isolated by her abuser) and wouldn’t be there for her. Thus she was unable to talk to them about what she was going through as she was afraid of pushing them away which was inevitably going to happen anyway and so had to fight her breakdown alone.
 
After a breakdown your self confidence and self worth will be virtually non-existent, thus your ability to retain friendships and relationships will be put under further strain. As you are not thinking clearly your actions may cause harm to those people you care about, even if it is inadvertent, so you may need to apologise for anything which happened during the breakdown and work on rebuilding those friendships.
Although you will need to work out whether the problem was caused by you, or by them, if it was their problem they will need to find a way to deal with it as you should not have to accept responsibility.

At this moment she can’t sit here and talk about friendship really, At the moment she doesn’t have any, and as she is still fighting her breakdown. I cannot give profound advice on healing rifts and repairing damage.
I will say however that, like everyone, a show of kindness and love can help someone who has suffered from a breakdown. We all want to feel loved, we all need kindness, to help us get by.

Can you overcome a nervous breakdown?
The breakdown my wife experienced earlier was absolutely the most painful, distressing, chaotic and fear inducing period of her life. She literally just couldn't think straight in any way, her brain shut down and wasn’t functioning on any level. It was a constant daily fight to get through each conversation, each hour, each day. And that is pretty exhausting.

The road to recovery following a nervous breakdown is hard work, it could take you anywhere from 6 months to 3 years to fully recover. It can be done however, it’s not going to be easy, pretending it isn’t there won’t help but just cause longer term problems, it’s going to be painful, destructive and the hardest fight of your life.
But it can be done, never lose hope of that.

As City to city sings: The road ahead is empty
It's paved, with miles of the unknown
Whatever seems to be your destination
Take life the way it comes, take life the way it is

The Old Sailor,

Bullying is lethal my friends

Dear Bloggers, 

We hear and see the national news reports regarding bullying in schools, neighborhoods and communities. It's nothing new, the pundits promise action, and we feel a bit better that the problem is being addressed. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

The latest casualty? Anass Aouragh , a 13-year-old boy from Wassenaar. Teased relentlessly, his mentor, says there is now an empty space at school. What are the reasons for the perpetual taunting? His small size, his high IQ  there are no reasons given yet. Was he not able to deal with the verbal assaults and the sticks and paper dots that were thrown at him, or was it when they started making fun of him? Somewhere he reached the breaking point.

 
His parents, were worried about their son when he did not return home from an after school job bringing around advertising leaflets. Worry turned into frantic and desperate fear, and soon they organized a search party. The police send out an Amber Alert. Hours later, in the morning they found him, in the woods of Wassenaar. The image of the scene and their tortured agony is almost too much to bear. 
When are schools going to get it? Teaching the 3 R’s, reading, writing and arithmetic, is not enough. 

Tolerance, respect and common decency need to be addressed along with the basics, because unfortunately, this is often not taught at home. And not only that, teachers, principals and administrators need to be constantly in touch and vigilant about what's going on in the classroom and on the playground.
Bullying is a problem that is not going to go away on its own. How many more deaths have to occur before schools take this problem seriously and responsibly? 

Fleur Bloemen was another victim of what we never can understand. One of the kids said after she died: She never spoke about what she was going through.
This is very often the case. These kids are ashamed, embarrassed, shy, even afraid to speak up, which is why all school personnel must keep their ears and eyes open and be prepared to intervene. This is why all parents have to talk to their children about how to treat others, and must know what their kids are doing and who they're doing it with. It's called parenting.

This is not an isolated problem -- Fleur is just one of the latest examples. Last month it was Fleur, a  high school student, who took her own life with jumping in front of train. No longer able to withstand the taunting from a group at school, she permanently ended the verbal assaults the only way she knew how. The reason for the harassment? She was wished dead by fellow students and was taunted on prepschool. Again, this fun-loving youngster kept it all inside, not wanting to upset his family by the derogatory comments. And now she jumped and some of her fellow students saw it happen. 

Tim Ribberink, died 4 months ago in an apparent suicide. Authorities suspect the bullying he endured at school and at work played a role.Tim Ribberink....... was trying to escape the cruelty from his being a happy guy who was taunted being gay. After being punched, kicked and yelled at, he was victimized on social networks when his body was found at home his parents published a part of his farewll note in the advert in the local newspaper. The persons held responsible for this cannot be held responsible for this henious crime.

However, it is setting a precedent that the schools do have liability.
As I mention in 5 very important lessons from tragic bullying deaths, (1) Those struggling with their sexuality need to realize there are sources in every community to help; these kids are often targets (2) Parents must speak out. You must talk to your child about bullying and let them know it is wrong. Also, you must ask them often if they or anyone they know is being bullied. If so, you must report it immediately; (3) Teachers, administrators and school personnel have a duty to stop bullying on school grounds. There must be a zero tolerance policy. (4) Parents must teach their children acceptance and tolerance of others that are different, and that we all have gifts to share to make the world a better place. (5) Not only must bullies be held accountable -- their parents should be, as well.


Schools in the Netherlands are being offered the Kiva Method from Finland. KiVa is a research-based antibullying program that has been developed in the University of Turku, Finland, with funding from the Ministry of Education and Culture. The effectiveness of KiVa has been shown in a large randomized controlled trial. In Finland, KiVa is a sought-after program: 90 % of all comprehensive schools in the country are registered KiVa schools implementing the program.

KiVa has been evaluated in a large randomized controlled trial including 117 intervention schools and 117 control schools. The program has been shown to reduce both self- and peer-reported bullying and victimization significantly. It influences multiple form of victimization, including verbal, physical, and cyberbullying. In addition, positive effects on school liking, academic motivation and achievement have been reported. KiVa also reduces anxiety and depression and has a positive impact on students’ perception of their peer climate. A remarkable 98% of victims involved in discussions with the schools’ KiVa teams felt that their situation improved. Finally, Finnish data from more than 1000 schools that started the implementation of KiVa in fall 2009 showed that after the first year of implementation, both victimization and bullying had reduced significantly

.
It's too late to bring back any of these precious children, but hopefully their deaths will bring about change. If you can take one thing away, let it be this: Talk to your children. Listen to your children. If you do this, no telling what you'll learn. Talk, talk, talk, and keep those lines of communication open. Is someone bullying them? Are they bullying someone? And finally, do they know someone who is being bullied? Ask often and listen carefully.

All of them could have been alive today. Always remember that you can make a difference.

The Old Sailor,

I don't want to be a weatherman

Dear Bloggers,


When I got up today I turned on the radio and during my breakfast I listened to the weatherforecast. It must be a depressive job, I think only predicting rain and here and there a little bit of sunny spells. The rain is really pooring down and my garden turned into a swamp.

I give myself plenty of extra time heading out this morning. Numerous Flash Flood Warnings are in effect and rainfall rates of 3-5 centimeters per hour are occurring over our region.The ground is saturated and streams, creeks and rivers are spilling over their banks. Street flooding and road closures are numerous and mass transit has cancellations or delays because of the flooding.


Mud and flood waters closed parts of some villages as the roads are flooding eventhough the higways and roads have not the biggest problems but several roadworks are giving some detours. Driving through flood waters is not very smart as you don’t know what lies underneath; this is a very dangerous situation!

Since Monday, over 30 centimeters of rain have fallen in parts of the Dutch Delta. All of this rain is a combination of remains of Tropical Storm Irene combined with a slow moving cold front. The large and persistent storm system will continue to spin over our region today and the Flood Watch has been extended through this morning. The Delta works are being watche closely to make sure live behind the dikes is save.

As of 6 a.m.this morning, heavy rain and thunderstorms continue to come over our region again. Raining is the biggest concern at the moment and I must admit it is pretty boring to see nothing else then rain. Many parts of the Netherlands have areas of heavy rain moving over the same region in a relatively short period of time, producing excessive rainfall amounts which often lead to flash flooding. Some had nothing else but rain all summer long.

Rain chances will stay with us through the weekend, but there will be dry weather and sunshine as we head into early next week. Let us hope that the weathermen are right this time as this part of the world needs to dry up a little bit.

The Old Sailor,

A Schocking Story

Dear Bloggers,

This week I write about fibromyalgia again.And as usual Iam reading on the internet about it.

When I am ending up on one of the forums of Rheumapatients, I am reading too many stories that can bring you down. Also here I find some jolly people, but most of them are quite negativ. When I open one of the subjects, I hardly can believe what I am reading.

It is about a young lady that is not been taken serious by the medical staff. Who are working for the medical unemployment services. She had been sent home with the diagnoses “There is nothing wrong with you, fibromyalgia is not recognized as a sicknes”. It is just something that you have, so learn to live with it. I see it many times that these doctors are not taking it serious.

Also the employers are not wanting to pay for a sickness that is not acknowledged in our country. Unfortunenetly she felt being left out and had the feeling that nobody wanted to understand her pain. Not even her own doctor was believing that fibromyalgia is real, and actually let her down.

Her pain became in many ways unbearable. When she was home on sick leave last week, she took her own live. Her family is totally devastated but they are greatful and thankful to the writers on the forum. Here she found people that understood most of her promlems and were giving some plain advices out of there own experience.

She stepped out of this life without any pre warning on the age of twenty-six. For a while I have been speechless anf tears were burning. How hard can it be for a doctor to acknowledge this crazy sickness. There should be more known about it especially by medical staff.

What a shame that absolutely nobody saw this coming and hardly anybody was understanding her. This has been hell on earth for her, now it is that for her parents and everybody else that loved her. I wish them a lot of strength in this bitter loss and to get through this darkest hour of their life.
Here you see that life is brutal and I will need some medication to calm myself down.

The Old Sailor,

How do I not get the rainy day blues

Dear Bloggers,

If, like me, you are out of work, you might be feeling a bit lazy this week, and you are wondering why it’s harder to be motivated. Well the clocks have been turned back qiute q while ago, the evenings have been getting darker and colder, and daylight is not that much as it is raining nearly every day. I know it is not very attractive to go outside for a walk and it’s all too easy for the wintertime blues to set in.

Many people experience having less energy when the clocks go back; this is mainly due a decline in the feel-good hormone seratonin, which requires plenty of sunshine to keep it topped up, and that is why chocolate can be your best friend on miserable moments it contains a small amount seratonin and if your like me it might turn into brain fog and depression. I will not let this happen but also healthy people are at risk in this case. If you are being used to a stressful life, it might bring you down and hit you all of a sudden. There is a lot that you can do yourself by being positive and as active as possible.

Soon the hardest time of the year is knocking on our doors and a lot of people will suffer from buying christmas present stress. The big mistake they are making is that the gift has to be superb, at least that is what they think. If I need to get out and buy gifts, I will go with a budget and I buy things that are given by heart, instead of how popular these things are.

The good part of going shopping is that you can have your daily physical exercise and you are doing something usefull with your time. If you go to a shoppingmall the weather does not affect you at all. Although in most of the stores it is far too hot for this time of year.

If there is a dry moment in the day, you can go exercise such as biking it can actually stimulate production of seratonin and keep down the blues, if you can get up the and find the energy to do your workout in the first place.

This is where natural energy boosters can be useful. Sunlight is the most obvious one; walking to work, taking a stroll on your lunchbreak or moving your desk next to a large window all help you get your daily dose of super sunlight – the cheapest performance-enhancer available. For those who are unable to see daylight during the week (night workers for example) they should work under artificial daylight lamps or who have a weakness for gadgets, there are indoor therapy lamps available which claim to mimic the effect natural light has on maintaining seratonin levels to boost mood, productivity and energy levels.

Foods rich in tryptophan (a building block for seratonin production) can help balance mood and sleep patterns to prevent energy drops. Good sources in the diet include turkey meat, yoghurt, cottage cheese, oats, nuts and seeds, which are also good energy foods for athletics.
For a quick-fix against being washed out, ginger root has been shown to stimulate the brain and improve your energy levels, so making you more likely to get up and get the the motivation to get started. If that doesn’t kick you into action, nothing will!

The Old Sailor,

Enjoy life while it is there

Dear Bloggers,

I used to wonder why I was me.
Why wasn't I that rich guy?
Why wasn't I smart? Why wasn't I attractive?
Why? Why? Why?
It took me nearly 40 years to find out all those things were only my choice of thoughts.
I hope it doesn't take you that long.
It really matters very little what your friends, teachers, parents, etc. think or believe about you.
Because you are you, it is your opinion that counts.
You don't need the validation of others.
But you do need the acceptance, love and validation of yourself.

Life's one choice after another,then you live them, choose wisely.

Life is a series of linear events.
A chain of choices about those events, leading to other events.
Never ending cycles of pain and pleasure for learning and growth.
When the sun shines, it shines on everyone.
When it rains, it rains on all.
Every single person will experience at some point during their lifetime: tragedy, failure, depression and hopelessness.
They will also experience: joy, happiness, success and unconditional love.
We live in a world of duality.
There is a reason for it.



Some people master the rollercoaster ride life offers them, and some don't.
Why?
It is an easy question to answer.
The successful ones believe in themselves and their ability to win.
While the others feel overwhelmed by life's ambivalences.
They do so because their fearful thoughts keep them frozen in indecision, unable to make progress, due to fear of failure.
If they only knew that "they were not their thoughts" improvement would be certain.



The reasons for feeling negative about yourself are numerous.
Growing up in a disfunctional family.
The criticism of inexperienced teachers.
Comparing yourself to, and competing with, others.
Holding unrealistic expectations of performance and many more.
The reasons don't matter, they're history.
What matters is now.
This present moment.
What do you do now to change your life.



First of all.
Realize that "you are not your thoughts."
Your thoughts are under your control at all times.
There are no exceptions to this.
People do not make you angry; you allow yourself to become angry.
People do not depress you; you depress yourself.
Your emotions are controlled by you and you alone.
Quit reacting to others in a knee-jerk fashion and start thinking.



I will hope that I at least can rescue one from doom thinking, as it is not worth it.
Just keep only this on thing in mind as it this the phrase that I like the most.

”Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

Everything to avoid a winter depression

Dear Bloggers,

When we opened the curtains this morning, the world around us was covered in snow.
My kids were excited, but I start too hate the down parts of this beautiful scenery, instead of enjoying it, but somehow I can’t anymore.
As my wife has to go by car to work, she had to leave early as the forecast was not to good this morning.
There were a lot of accidents reported due to slippery roads and places where they had to deal with glazed frost, they even have closed certain highways because of these so called glaze on the roads.
Gritting was impossible for a few hours.



Tomorrow my kids go ice skating on natural ice, even though the temperatures are rising a bit above zero.
It has been freezing pretty hard for a few nights, strange enough they are having lower temperatures in the south of my country.
I think that I will see my daughter for the first time on ice skates.
As the winters were not that good the last few years.
I am looking forward to see her hassling with her skates, I have explained her that ice skating is about enjoying yourself and not about how great you are.



We've officially entered the hard months, although the days are getting slightly longer, the "dark ages" as the midshipmen at the Naval Academy say: the time of the year when the sun disappears and the pale complexions of your friends remind you that you better take your vitamins or else you'll have a cold to go with your pasty look.
I fear winter each year because many of my depression busters require sunny skies and temperatures in the 20°C.
What does a guy who walks, swims and bikes do for sanity in the winter?
Lots of things.
Here are a few of them:

Careful with sugar.
I think our body gets the cue just before Saint Nicholas that it will be hibernating for a few months, so it needs to ingest everything edible in sight.
And I'm convinced the snow somehow communicates to the human brain the need to consume every kind of chocolate available in the house.
We are mammals, yes, so do we think we need an extra layer of fat in the winter to keep us warm?
I'm starting to think so.
Depressives and addicts need to be especially careful with sweets because the addiction to sugar and white-flour products is very real and physiological, affecting the same biochemical systems in your body as other drugs like heroin.
Your relationship to sweet things is operating on a cellular level.
It is more powerful than you have realized....What you eat can have a huge effect on how you feel."

Give something back.
Ghandi once wrote that "the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
I believe that a sense of purpose--committing oneself to a noble mission--and acts of altruism are strong antidotes to depression.
The winter months are a good time to do this because the need is greater, the holiday spirit ideally lasts until February, and you don't have the excuse of attending family picnics, unless you live in a sunny southbound country.

Go to sports rehab
Don't let the cold weather be an excuse not to sweat.
We have centers today called "gyms" where people exercise inside!
Granted, it's not the same--watching the news or listening to the soundtrack from "Rocky" as you run in place as opposed to jogging along wooded paths with a view of the bay.
But you accomplish the goal: a heart rate over 140 beats a minute.
The gym is also a kind of support group for me.
These people, I'm guessing, are going after the endorphin buzz just like me because alcohol and recreational drugs don't do the trick anymore.
And, like moi, I suspect that they also have great difficulty meditating.
Every time they close their eyes, they have visions of screaming kids, which are running around the house, bored by playing inside.



Wear bright colours.
I have no research supporting this theory, but I'm quite convinced there is a link between feeling optimistic and sporting bright colours.
It's in line with "faking it 'til you make it," desperate attempts to trick your brain into thinking that it's sunny and beautiful outside--time to celebrate Spring!--even though it's a blizzard with sleet causing some major traffic jams.
Personally, I tend to wear dark colours everyday in the winter.
It's supposed to make you look thinner.
But the result is that I appear as if and feel like I'm going to a funeral every afternoon between the months of November and March.
This isn't good.
Not for a person hardwired to stress and worry and get depressed when it's cold.
So I make a conscious effort to wear bright red, purple, blue, and yellow, and sometimes--if I'm in a rush--all of them together!



Force yourself to go outside.
I realize that the last thing you want to do when it's below zero degrees outside and the roads are slushy is to head outside for a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood.
It's much more fun to cuddle up with a good novel or make chocolate chip cookies and enjoy them with a hot cup of Chocolate.
On many winter days--especially in late January and early February when my brain is done with the darkness--I have to literally force myself outside, however brief. Because even on cloudy and overcast days, your mood can benefit from exposure to sunlight.
Midday light, especially, provides Vitamin D to help boost your limbic system, the emotional center of the brain.
And there is something so healing about connecting with nature, even if it's covered in snow.

Head South
Granted, this solution isn't free, especially if you live in Friesland.
But you do not need to travel the most expensive way, to transplant your body and mind to a sunny spot for a few days.
Just try to schedule your yearly vacation the last week of January or the first week of February so that it breaks up the winter and so that I have something to look forward to in those depressing weeks following the holidays.



Take up a project.
There's no time like winter to start a home project, like clearing out the mess or purging all the old clothes in your kids' closets.
When a friend of mine was going through a tough time, she painted her entire house--every room downstairs with two different colours.
And it looked professional!
Not only did it help distract her from her problems, but it provided her with a sense of accomplishment that she desperately needed those months, something to feel good about as she saw other things crumble around her.
Projects like organizing bookshelves, shredding old tax returns, and cleaning out the garage are perfect activities for the dreary months of the year.
And hey, most of them are free!



Challenge yourself.
My mood can often be lifted by meeting a new challenge--an activity that is formidable enough to keep my attention, but easy enough to do when my brain is moody.
Learning how to record and edit video blogs, for this guy who is not that good, with this kind of technology, turned out to be great fun.
I try to stretch myself in a small way every winter--whether it is taking a drawing course, researching the genetics of mood disorders, or trying to build myself a website.
It keeps my brain from freezing, like the rest of my body.

Light a candle.
If I counted up all the minutes I've spent staring into a flame, I wonder how many years of my life that would be.
Certainly more than the hours I've spent brushing my teeth or combing my hair.
It would probably even surpass the combination of bath and shower time.
For some reason I assume “That my brain spinning’s” are coming out better if I stick my face in a hot glowing body of flame.
The scarlet blaze generates a feeling of hope, of a fragile but fierce voice, that whispers: "you're not off the hook yet...hang in there."

The Old Sailor,

Time to go back to school

The summer is nearly over and the kids need to go back to school, not a single day of their holiday they wanted to sleep in.
But of course today school was starting again and to get them out of bed was a crime.



Strange because six weeks long they were up before seven o’clock in the morning. Yes, all of a sudden we had to get up early and then my little princesses did not want to get out of bed.
All the things in live have a rythm.
At least that is what they say, but I am not a 100% sure about that.
Some days you never get into the rythm, eventhough you would love to.
A family life is not always easy, I must admit that it has it’s beautiful sides.
But some days are pretty heavy, youre not only dealing with the kids but also with your hard working spouce.



There is simply no rest at all in your situation.
If you make the choice to do nothing the world around starts to complain and looks angry at you.
In these kind of situations i envy all the single people.
But let us look on the bright side of life.
Now the kids have gone to school and my wife has gone to work, it is very quiet in the house.
And it is kind of lonely to be home on your own.



There is never a moment to escape from reality, it is always there.
I hope that i can get myself to do something today, as the weather outside is as depressing as my mood.
Of course we going to give it a try, but i am not expecting a lot that will come out of my hands.
I think it is the after-the-summer-holiday-depression-season


The Old Sailor,