Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts

September 10, 2017

My days at Sea ended

Dear Bloggers,

Once again it has been a really long time since I wrote my blog about my old job as a sailor…and I think I have come to realize the I’m just not one of those people who is a very good and regular blogger. Maybe it’s that I try to do my blogs to perfect and I will put too much detail into my posts…then they become too long.



However I did not want to leave this blog as an old sailorman that ended up landbased and would feel incomplete….I've had the feeling that my job at sea all of a sudden had come to an end and I walked around being unemployed and had to go search for a job that wasn't like evryone elses. I felt for awhile that i had failed and unfinished my job that I loved so much. So I decided to do my best and find a new one, A second kind of lasting love….

\
So here is the short version of whats going on with me now….as I wrote in my former blogs, I started my new job with a temps office and learned how to be a bus driver on commuter busses close to home that was my first contract with them. As I was just there for the Summer but I stayed on until Newyears. I applied for a new contract with a different temps office for the same bus company but in the area of Groningen. The start was maybe quite rough but I learned quickly and some of the elder drivers told me, just do the best you can and don't be afraid to ask. 
 


I enjoyed the busy student routes and I found my way in most of the areas. During the seventh contract I got employed by the company at Qbuzz (the buscompany is one of the smallest ones in the country) …but then got transferred to the city of Groningen (the largest region and the biggest in the Northeren fleet!) Eventhough everything was better on the newest and largest depot I was not really happy here. (I enjoyed the old and quite a bit smaller depot and getting my own locker and little safetybox) I love the raw personalities of the drivers here as they are a smaal group and deal with the situations how they are crossing their paths. But let us go back to my goood old days at sea:



I have been sailing on the Mediterranean sea….with cruises starting out from Venice and Barcelona…and we docked in ports like Livorno (Pisa and Florence), Piraeus/Athens, Rome, and Naples and in Greece we saw some of the Islands(Santorini, Lesbos, zakhyntos.)…also Palma Spain (which is one of the most beautiful islands that I have ever seen). Also I got a chance to stop in Odessa in the Ukrain and Yalta on the Island Crimea, Limasol on Cyprus and we stopped over on Gibraltar and in Porto in Portugal as we were sailing up the Atlantic coast towards the North of Europe.


Also, my social life on the Astor was much more exciting than on any other ship or any other job. I actually kind of loved the job and hated on the same time over there….and though it did not work very well working long hours and going ashore and party after work…it was somewhat nice at the time as well. 
 


I visited so many amazing cities and places….in Venice Italy of course the Gondoleras…in Istanbul the Blue Mosque, well in Rome ROME!…I mean everything in Rome is beautiful…old…elaborate, and historical! And Athens the city of the Olympics and the Acropolis The tour starts at the temple of Olympian Zeus (6th c. B.C.), one of the largest in antiquity and close by Hadrian's Arch (131 A.D.), which forms the symbolic entrance to the city. From there, we were walking along Dionysou Areopaghitou Street (on the south side of the Acropolis) you pass the ancient Theatre of Dionysos (5thc. B.C.) where most of the works by Sophocles, Euripides, Aeschylos and Aristophanes were performed.


Continuing, you will reach the ruins of the Asklepieion (5th c. B.C.) and the Stoa of Eumenens (2th c. B.C.) and from there the Odeion of Herodes Atticus, which was built in 161 A.D. and is nowadays the venue of the performances of the Atheus Festival.



From there you climb up to the sacred rock of the Acropolis, the site of some of the most important masterpieces of worldwide architecture and art, the most renowned of which is the Parthenon temple. Apart from this, also impressive are the Propylaea. The temple of the Athene Nike and the Erechtheion, while you shouldn't skip a visit to the Museum, located close to the Parthenon. Moreover, from the rock you have an impressive view of the city. My advise hire a tourguide and you will understand so much more about all this.










The Atlantic Coast, …with all of the gorgeous weather in gulf of Biscay, High winds and rolling ship, and the amazingly beautiful Island of Guernsey. I could not believe that after waiting all that time…and working on a few ships…I had finally made it to the Northsea in my part of Europe to see some of the most charming places I have ever had the privilege of visiting! 
 


However, as exciting and beautiful as my time onboard was….I was not really enjoying the job on the ship anymore. Honestly I don’t know if I ever really loved being a waiter on a ship with no youth and having the felling sometimes that I was there mental counselor…not that the job is that bad…it’s just as a person with a service education as a background…and being a bartender at heart…I really wanted to do more with serving cocktails and logdrinks…and all the other things that we offered… I got the feeling somedays that we were basically their shrink. As they were telling me things as I was their therapist….after a little while it becomes annoying. 
 


Plus on a ship the size of the Astor…with lots of elder couple’s (I think in high season we had over 50)…there was almost never ever drama and conflict so it was boring like …. I was tired of that too. Then there was ship life itself…though I loved being out in ports…I was always sad when it was time to head back to the ship and get back to work after a busy and sometimes exhausting day of roaming the streets of Europe. I just wanted to have some time to decompress,reflect and relax.…and on a ship like this I did not have that.  


Having all these reasons and probably more….I decided in March 1995 just before they began with sailing down South and do the Atlantic Crossing I offered my resignation to the Hotelmanager and stopped my contract I left the ship and the feelings were double I would miss it and on the other hand I was reunited with my love. My search for a job started again and I started to do something that I had been dreaming about for years.



I went on an interview to sail on a ferry again closer to home and still being overseas, in between the countries The Netherlands and the United Kingdom. The interview was in Amsterdam …and I heard back from them within a few months that I had the job and if I wanted it, I had to jump on today a rough start but that is typically me. I was so excited…because for over the last few years this was my dream to find closure for other things…I had been wanting to actually move to a totally different continent, and experience what it would be like to live in big country like Australia this dream failed unfortunatly as I enjoyed life there but there were no jobs due to economic recession and we were just trying to become actually residents of that country. (So no Australian girlfriend or someone from another foreign country would have become my wife or anything like that). 
 





Therefore…I knew that my time on the Astor…would not be my last time on a ship (at least full time for a long period.)…because in March 1995 I came back from Bremerhaven in Germany and found a job in a local tobaccofactory for the time being to pay the bills. And next to it I had a job in the weekends in a local discotheque (I travelled home on my own dime at that because I ended up shortening my contract)…and started my preparation for the new start of my life! It took a while to recover and fill up my resources.
 



So in April 1996, I had to come back home after a early morning shift and prepare for my new job in the DFDS company as a bartender and waiter. A bit of a short notice so we quickly bought some shoes and utillities for my uniform. I sailed for this company on several cotracts,jobs and ships. I started as a bartender and waiter, as a shop assistant, night security guard, restaurantwaiter and running the Guest Service Center. I'ne sailed on the King of Scandinavia, Prince of Scandinavia and on the “new” King of Scandinavia (renamed nowadays as King Seaways)



I am grateful for the experiences and the relationships my time on the ships brought, I wished that I was able to chronicle it in a better, and more detailed way…but I hope this blog has been helpful to someone. I will keep my blog open for anyone who still finds my posts useful…and I may (I’m not 100% sure) start a blog about my time on the M/S Astor. 


If I do…I will certainly post the pages here…so those of you who are interested can follow my journeys half way across the world and the intriguing world of the lives on a cruiseship. I probably have to split up the story in several posts and I'll promise that they will follow eachother on a montly base. Mylife on the ferry has been told in earlier posts,




Thanks to every reader for coming along on the journey…it has certainly been an interesting one to say the least…and I have been happy to share this with you!

The Old Sailor,




May 21, 2016

Old Sailor on a low carb and cleaner diet

Dear Bloggers,

Eat more of the good. Eat less of the bad. That is what the dietitian told me a couple of weeks ago. And yes I was skeptic until I started losing weight.
That’s the whole idea behind clean eating. It’s all about, well, cleaning up your diet so that there’s a greater focus on whole foods (think fruits, vegetables, protein and healthy fats), and less reliance on processed or refined foods.
The benefits of adopting a clean diet are pretty clear (reduced incidence of disease, increased quality of life, and a longer life expectancy, just to name a few). But ditching the donuts, pizza and mocha lattes can be a lot tougher than it sounds. (Seriously, if you need proof, check out how many people around you are more obese than you?)


The good news is there’s no need to wing it. Here’s your plan to help get your eating on track.Start Clean Eating Without a Hitch
Trying to loose some weight and the best motivation to inspire change comes from within.”
Pinpoint your reason ‘why.’
Building any new healthy habit will absolutely require some effort, and eating clean is no exception. That’s why it’s so important first to determine what’s inspiring you to change. Maybe you signed up for a race or have a reunion coming up and want to look your best. Maybe you’ve been feeling sluggish and want to increase your energy throughout the day. Perhaps you’re thinking about your long-term health like me as I am a diabetes type 2 and about 40 kilos overweight and I wondered about what I can do to stay healthy in the near future. These are examples of getting motivated, positive reasons to aim for cleaner eating. And that’s a good thing. So I started with checking in with a diabetes nurse and a dietitian.Cleaning up your diet because someone told you to do it, or because you feel guilty about your current eating habits just isn’t as powerful.It has to come from within.




Determine first of all how much time you’re willing to commit.
Making meaningful life changes can often take several months or more. “People need to be aware that any goal worth achieving is going to take time. There is no fast-track to developing life-changing habits,” says a clinical counselor of health behavior change.


After establishing your ‘why,’ it’s time to sit down and think about how much you’re willing to devote to the process, from meal planning and doing grocery shopping, to food preparation and cooking. Making a relatively minor diet twists is like changing your usual snack from a bag of chips to a piece of fruit each day, might be a habit achievable in the short-term. But shifting towards a truly cleaner diet is a much longer-term objective for most. Have an hour to steal from your Sunday TV line-up? That could mean prepping healthy lunches for the entire week. Have 30 minutes a day? How about kicking your greasy takeout habit for good with preparing healthier meals within 30 minutes. Expensive is not the word even on a budget you can cook more vegetables and eat less potatoes for example.


Do a thorough audit of your current diet.
Despite the growing obesity epidemic, 90 percent of our Dutch adults report themselves as having a healthy diet. But how healthy is it really? I kept a food journal, and there’s no escaping the truth, I talked to a certified wellness coach who is training ice skating youngsters. “So often we think that we are on track, but when we actually see on paper what we are consuming, it is easier to tell where we might need to cut back,” he says. He told me to start a food journal (or download a fancy apps), and begin tracking everything you eat and drink for at least three days. This will help you gouge your starting point and allow you to identify any patterns emerging. Next, simply make two lists:
  1. The not-so-healthy foods you want to reduce or remove from your diet. Note: If this list gets long, pick three to five obvious choices that you would like to deal with first (e.g. soda, fast food, sugary snacks, etc.).
  2. The nutritious foods that are missing from your current line-up. A clean diet focuses on eating high-nutrient foods, not simply cutting out the junk. How many veggies are there? If you’re coming up short, come up with three to five you like most and add those to your weekly grocery list.

Choose your targets wisely.
After listing the less-healthy foods you want to reduce or eliminate from your diet as well as the healthy foods you want to incorporate, the next step is to make some strategic choices. Setting a few small goals that you can consistently act on is a much more effective approach than trying to take on everything at once. And they can add up fast.



Changing your life starts wit selecting one habit…only one habit per month.You can choose any habit whatever you think will have the biggest impact on your life.” What small clean eating habit are you going to target first? And which changes will likely to offer you the best chance of success? At the start of every new month, simply add on from there.


Make your goals specific and measurable.
Let’s say you want to begin the process of cleaner eating by tackling your evening cookie obsession or your bag of chips. But how exactly do you go about defining this goal? Maybe you’ll make a statement based on moderation: “I’m going to stop eating so many cookies.” But what does that mean exactly? Is one cookie per day allowed? Does the type of cookie matter?



Be specific and make your intentions measurable: “I will put all the cookies in the jar and will only take one out per day.” Or better yet, “I will stop eating preserved prepacked treats and allow myself one of these healthier homemade protein bites after dinner.” There is no ambiguity in this statement. You have a clear path that will lead you to control your sweet tooth.



The same goes for adding healthy foods to your diet. Saying “I will eat a low-fat quark instead of bread each day for breakfast” is a specific action that will ensure your breakfast is already healthier than before. It's your life and you choose.



Shop with a purpose.
Just like eating itself, grocery shopping is based on habits. You likely follow a certain route when you hit the store, so be prepared to forge a new course (hello, green stuff and meat!). Bring a detailed grocery list, and stick to it. (Extra tip: Avoid those chips and soda aisles altogether.)


Sure, some research shows that clean eating will put a bigger dent in your bank account than a diet filled with cheap convenience foods, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Some clean eaters practise a meatless Monday to reduce their grocery bills. Looking for in-season products, and buying in bulk are two other ways to keep your food costs down. I am eating sometimes two days in a row the same vegetables to keep the costs in hand. I am saving money by doing it like this.



Meal prep now, eat healthy when it counts.
Last but not least, it’s time to turn those healthy ingredients into clean,wholesome meals you’ll love. Start by searching out simple recipes that you can whip up quickly. You can find inspiration on healthy food blogs around the web, or get one of these free recipe magazines in the supermarket and check out which recipe is something for you.



Sure, preparing a meal is likely going to take a little more work than slapping together some pasta or grilling some burgers or anything like fast food’s, but you don’t have to do it all by hand either. There are all kinds of kitchen gadgets or pre cut that can help get the job done with less effort. And be sure to prepare in extra large batches so that you have plenty of leftovers to freeze for easy clean eating all week long.



When it comes to clean eating or any other health-related goal, achieving a sense of mastery is vital. When you experience success, you are likely to want (and get) more. Keep working on it until it becomes manageable, effortless, or even automatic.


When the effort is gone you’re ready to take on a new challenge, something that will move you closer towards a truly clean diet. What is the next “20%” that you want to work on? Again, the clean eating process takes time. But imagine how you will feel when you can look back, you might be ready to pick up something sporty, and see all the positive changes you’ve already successfully made. 



In my case I started with walking in the park with our dog and with my family. After half an hour I was done. I do this once a week and I challenged myself within six months I pushed myself to walk for 2 hours and approx. 10 kilometres. And yes I lost nearly 10 kilo grammes in the last six weeks. Yes you can do it just be positive.

The Old Sailor,



October 11, 2015

What if you cam't figure out what your dream is

Dear Bloggers,

I have to make a lot of decisions at the moment and find hardly any time to follow my dreams. And I think it’s a lot less about “What if and more about “Why don’t I know what my dream is?” and probably more importantly “Where can I find my dream?“.


If you don’t have a dream and don’t care about not having a dream – well then you probably aren’t reading this anyway. If you don’t have a dream and you do wish you had one. Then I believe that wish for a dream is actually a sign that you do have a dream… it’s just buried under some other stuff right now.



I’m going to share some possible scenarios of what could be happening here and some ideas for what to do with them:
Scenario 1: You know what your dream is, but you are scared to admit it to yourself or to others. This is completely understandable! Having a dream is scary. Having a dream and going after it means everything in tour life could change. Having a dream and going after it means taking big risks. By not admitting that you have a dream, you can avoid all of this change and risk and uncomfortable stuff.




And yet...well, it’s still uncomfortable, isn’t it?
In avoiding change and risk you also avoid the joy of the dream come true. Mostly you avoid doing the thing you really want to be doing.
Your dream isn’t a superficial thing. It’s important. It comes from your heart and your soul. It’s tied to your purpose for being here on this planet. Avoid the dream and it will not go away. It will only grow more and more difficult to avoid. But all that stuff you are avoiding? It’s real too. And it’s scary. Pretending it’s not there is not a good plan. 
 

What may work here: Admitting it very quietly by writing it in your diary or your agenda. Start to give the dream just a little bit of space. You don’t have to tell anyone else about it and you certainly don’t have to do anything about it. Just give it some space to be and see what comes of that. Baby steps.


Scenario 2: You know what your dream is, but don’t believe that you can have it, so it’s kind of uncomfortable to think about it.
Awww. First I just want to give you a hug. Everything I said above about your dream is true: Your dream isn’t a superficial thing. It’s important. It comes from your heart and your soul. It’s tied to your purpose for being here on this planet. And also: Avoid the dream and it will not go away. It will only grow more and more difficult to avoid.


That last part is even more true in this case. Your dream is really important and it is asking you to work through your fear that you don’t deserve it or can’t have it for some reason. It is asking you to believe. What may work here: Asking “What if?” What if it was OK for me to pursue this dream? What If if was OK for me to have this dream? What do I think I deserve? What would have to happen in order for me to believe I deserve more?


Forcing yourself to go after your dream won’t be helpful here, working on changing your mind about what is possible for you will be helpful. Taking some slow baby steps towards your dreams may be helpful too. Sometimes that “I don’t think I can have it” starts to fade when it sees evidence that you really can have it.


Scenario 3: There is so much that you want to do, that you can’t pick just one to identify as “your dream”. Well this is actually a fantastic situation to be in, even though it doesn’t always feel like it. I really believe it’s better to have too many ideas than too few. I always have way more ideas and dreams than I can possibly work on.


Sometimes this “I have so many things I want to do I can’t commit to one thing is just a way of sabotaging yourself, usually due to one of the fears mentioned above, so you may want to check those out and see if any of the ideas there feel like they may be helpful to you. If that’s not it, then what is happening here is a bottleneck. Too many ideas, too little time/resources and nothing can get through. You relieve the bottleneck by choosing some dreams to work on now and putting the other dreams aside for now. If the thought of putting some dreams aside makes you freak out a little: look at what is really happening here.


If you focus on one or two dreams for now, and actually bring them to life, then it becomes much easier to go back to those other dreams and bring them to life as well. With each dream come true you become more experienced at bringing dreams to life and you open up new possibilities for how to bring your dreams to life.


But still, choosing can be hard. What may work here: Asking yourself Which dreams am I most passionate about? This might help to narrow it down. If you start to work on the dream that you are most passionate about, all that passion can help to make it happen faster, so you can get back to the other dreams.
Or you can ask yourself Which dreams feel the easiest to work on right now? which is, of course, the easier way to go. Pick the low hanging fruit. Start with the easy dreams and work your way up. It could be that nothing feels easy but something is bound to feel easier than the others.


It can be hard to put some dreams aside. I have a desktop computer that is my place to put all of my opinions, ideas and dreams in. This way it doesn’t feel like they are lost, they are waiting for their right time to be brought to life. And sometimes, because creative dreams are magic, those dreams sitting in the notebook come true all on their own. Because they’re been taken out of the bottleneck! Dreams stuck in a bottleneck tend to not come true.


Scenario 4: You really just don’t know what your dream is:
Ask yourself: If I could have anything you want, what would it be? If you had no limits. None at all. Where would you live? How would you live? What would you do? How would you spend your days? How would you feel? What kinds of hobbies would you have? What would your social life be life? Your romantic life? Your finances? Your health? Your creativity? Your spirituality?



Somewhere in all of that there must be something you dream of. Something you want to build in your world. Your dreams are about so much more than wanting things to be different than they are. Your dreams are how you express your purpose and authenticity and uniqueness. Your dreams are healing. Your dreams can make a huge difference.


You don’t have to know what your dream is before you start working on it! I know, that sounds kind of crazy but it’s true. You can make finding your dream the dream you work on! Give your dreams a chance and live them you will be so much happier.


The Old Sailor,

March 20, 2015

What is the time to find inner peace

Dear Bloggers,


In my life I had to deal with a lot of ups and downs in all different ways either mental or physically. In a lot of cases I managed myself in others i have been seeking for help by professional caregivers. And in a way I can say that I have found the inner peace in myself. I compare myself to an old and wise man who still learns every day from the mistakes that he makes.



The path to inner peace is not very simple or short. You cannot just wake up one day and decide you are going to have inner peace from that point forward. It is a slow process, a journey that needs to be appreciated every step of the way. You need to be willing to let go and accept your full spectrum of emotions. Might be difficult for some proud men and women.


You need to be ready to step outside the box you have allowed yourself to be put into and start from scratch, getting to know yourself all over again and be willing to make a lot of mistakes. And most importantly, you have to realize that only you have control over your emotional responses and reactions and they can be changed for the better.


No one article or even one book is going to give you the answers to achieving inner peace. What they can do is assist you in initiating change within yourself by bringing light to something you were not previously aware of.Once you become aware of ways you can improve how you live your life, you can begin true transformations. These transformations are evolutions of the mind, spirit and soul. Once you really change your ways to be in alignment with your true self, you will never go back, just like a tadpole to a frog or a caterpillar to a butterfly.


Often, people live within a false sense of inner peace. The saying “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what a ship is for!” is an example of this. If you live your life in “the harbor” and never go out of your comfort zones, then you will be misleading yourself into believing you have harmony within. You need to be willing to experience a full range of emotions and face some challenges on the path to getting to know yourself through others and your experiences.


Offloading Your Emotional Baggage

Everyone has a certain amount of emotional baggage they carry with them everywhere. The idea of finding inner peace is to offload this baggage so you can feel light, healthy, vibrant, free and maybe one day even enlightened. What is emotional baggage? It comes in many forms and some examples could be shame for past deeds, judgments towards others, being victimized, being abused, guilt for past mistakes, distorted beliefs about yourself and others, insecurities and body image problems. Every person is unique in their genetics and socialization. Add to that unique experiences through life and we get complex individuals who bounce of each other every which way they turn, sometimes positive, sometimes negative.


The secret to clearing your issues is to take your ship out of the harbor and interact with others. This is a vital part of learning about yourself. If you have ever heard one important thing to remember in your life on this earth, remember this: Anything you see in others, you have in yourself also and any judgment you make towards another, is really about you. This applies to both “good” and “bad” things you recognize.


An example of what this means is if you react in anger towards someone who is crying, having no compassion for their situation, it could be you are angry with yourself when you get sad, seeing it as week and don’t ever allow yourself to cry. When you refuse to accept something in yourself, you also will not accept it in others.


Another example, a teenager comes home from school and tells her mother a crude joke she heard about drinking addiction. The mother immediately goes into a rage and yells at her to go to her room and that she is grounded. Mum stands there shaking, and angry that her buttons have been pressed. She had a brother who was a alcoholic and they had never told her children about him. She never spoke about him and never dealt with the issues around the subject. When she reacted to her daughter that way, it was all her own anger and issues about the situation and nothing to do with her daughter. Actually she was facing herself in a mirror.



We need to start looking at the way we react to people and to situations. We need to work on smoothing these “buttons” we all have everywhere, because you can’t find inner peace if you are constantly judging yourself and others. This is process of learning and being willing to admit to yourself and others when you are wrong. This is a cure way to learn a lot about yourself very quickly!


Once you open your self to the truth there will be no going back. The idea is simple, if you don’t have the emotion, thought, trait, personality in you that you are seeing in others, you would not recognize it in someone else. We see someone make a face and because we make that face when we eat something sour, we presume they are also experiencing the feeling of eating something sour. This is not the case, this judgment projects from our mind like a movie of our own experiences played on cue for any situation, and we aren’t even aware we’re doing it. Use your interactions to better yourself and grow in your compassion for others through realizing your own faults and problems.



There is more good news you can also own your admiration's. This means all the things you admire or maybe are even jealous of in others, you have in yourself also. Maybe you have always admired the guy next door for his ease on the basketball court, yet he practices every day and disciplines himself. You know deep down if you did that too, you could be just as good. You can choose to realize this is where your jealousy comes from, and use it to change yourself through your new self awareness or sit around in bitterness and jealousy, denying your own undeveloped talents. 


Another example is women who make comments about other women’s clothes. Often they are really the most insecure ones of all. Instead of feeling in competition, they need to deal with their own issues as to why they feel a person’s clothes have anything to do with the person themselves. Do they think their clothes make them a better person, and if so, why? 
 
Letting Go of Control

You will have to let go of control to find inner peace. This is control you have over any one in your life and control over life itself. One thing you can’t do if you want peace, is give anyone else power over your feelings. When you try to control someone, ultimately they are controlling you. If you feel you need to monitor someone’s every move, or have them be with you all the time, you are really restricting yourself to the same. You have to develop trust and let go of fear.


If you feel scared, accept it for what it is, a harmless yet uncomfortable emotion. No big deal and when you’ve overcome it a few times, it becomes easy. Never say “You make me feel so angry/sad/frustrated!” because you are choosing to feel those things and what someone else does with their life should not impact on you. It is about developing emotional intelligence and allowing people to live their life without being responsible for your reactions.


Trust those who say they love you and trust every interaction you have. Don’t be trying to read into things, there’s no point. What other people think is none of your business and you will never be guaranteed to work it out, so just let it go. This won’t happen in a day, but keep working on yourself. Any time you catch yourself wondering what someone says or thinks about you when you’re not around, just make a point to change your mind to something else. If you keep doing it, you will re-train your mind, and before you know it, you will be free from the opinions of others.


Fear for some reason has been applied to so many situations in our time. Fear is actually an adrenalin response to a situation we instinctively feel the need to flee from. Anxiety, stress or worry are not fear. You may be worried about going out in crowds, you may be anxious about the promotion interview and you may feel stressed about going by yourself, but you aren’t afraid. Acknowledge these emotions when they arise, let them know they are justified, then continue with your plans.


Rest assured that the more times you continue, regardless of the feelings, they will soon fade away. An example is a lady who hasn’t dated for five years and someone she knows and trusts has set her up on a blind date. Initially she is very excited and as the time draws near, she begins to tell herself she is too afraid and can not go through with it. She ends up phoning her friend for the mans number, lying to her friends, then calling the man to tell him she has become suddenly ill and can't go. If she just said to herself “yes this is difficult and I am nervous, but I can do it anyway and anyone would be nervous in this situation, it’s just human.” What is the worst that can happen? Maybe she will sound or look nervous, but that’s not bad and no where near as rude as canceling at the last minute.


We Can Only Change Ourselves

Why would anyone want to bother with all this inner peace stuff? To end the cycle of ups and downs, emotions popping up when you don’t want them too, interactions with others become diplomatic and helpful and you will be able to experience an inner calm and confidence that words can not describe. You will no longer have petty conversations that are full of gossip and bragging, but will begin to talk about ideas and events that are interesting and positive. What you put out, you really get back in life. So if you think and feel negatively towards others, you will think and feel negative about yourself as well.


The time old saying “Mind your own business” is based in wisdom. We can only change ourselves and it is not for us to judge the way anyone else lives their lives. As we have already discussed, any judgment we make is actually really related to ourselves anyway. Don’t waste precious time or energy on what others are doing with their lives, and learn not to take anything personally.


Whenever someone makes a decision as to how they spend their own time or energy, it is their decision to make, so don’t go sticking your nose in where it isn’t wanted and don’t think it is all about you. There is no way you can know the repercussions of your advice of judgments towards others, so keep your lips sealed even when the urge seems overwhelming to give your opinion. It is not your place, and unless you have been overcome with some phenomenal amount of wisdom and perfectionism straight from the heavens, you don’t have the answers and shouldn’t act like you do.


Meditation and Inner Peace

Meditation is very important part of finding inner peace. Mediation is not only relaxation, it is a way of living. When you meditate as a form of relaxation, you access areas of your mind which are normally hidden behind everyday thoughts and memories. You are able to clear away all the narrow-minded thoughts and get to your deeper subconscious mind to deal with what arises. This can help to fast track your road to inner peace, as it relaxes and vitalizes you physically, emotionally and mentally and reconnects you spiritually.
You can also meditate in your every day life. 




There is an art to being able to live in the moment and there is an old Buddhist saying that you may have heard. It goes “Before enlightenment, carry water, chop wood - after enlightenment, carry water, chop wood”. The difference is the state of mind and inner peace. Before enlightenment, you would do every day tasks with your mind racing through thoughts and memories. You would be thinking about yesterday and tomorrow and be unaware of the beauty of the moment. You could even be annoyed that you have to do the task at hand. 


After enlightenment, you would be in the moment, your mind free and peaceful as you are in a consistent state of satisfaction, regardless of where you are and what you are doing. In this way, if you first begin to become aware of the thoughts you have while trying to be in the moment, you will be able to release or confront each issue and continue to work towards a clear mind and relaxed body. The goal is to be totally involved in the task at hand without prejudice.

 



Self Acceptance

Consider taking the time to write a list of the things you fear most in life. Then seriously consider ways you can work towards confronting and overcoming those fears. You should add to your list as you become more self aware, because you will have more realizations as to who you are and what you can work on overcoming. Some examples might be if you are scared of certain emotions in others, you can not accept compliments, you can’t give compliments, you are uncomfortable with affection, spending time alone, climbing ladders, cats, dogs, etc., etc.


When writing the list, look deeply at your reactions to situations and remember fear isn’t just felt as fear and is often disguised as anger. A perfect example is the mother who can’t find her child for a few minutes. A dread comes over her and when she does find him or her, she reacts in an angry way and yells at him or her for walking away. Its an over reaction and is not a true expression of her emotions. The fear remains suppressed and unacknowledged, so will only be amplified next time a similar situation arises.


You have to be willing to be honest with yourself and others. If you can’t be honest, you will be unable to find synchronicity in your life. 

Life is a journey.........Some enjoy it, others don't.


The Old Sailor,

Talking and Writing

Dear Bloggers,   Why is it that some folks (such as myself and my daughter) talk so much? This visit, I am learning how I process throug...