Being expelled from school

Dear Bloggers,

A strange situation has occurred at our community, at the elementary school. A 10 year old boy was placed on our school as has former elementary school could not handle him anymore. Due to their incompetent attitude towards the child and the other parents, the situation has been dragging on for years. These parents have been saddled up with a strange situation as all of a sudden their 10 year old son was expelled from our school. It was not the school that send him off but the school board committee made this sudden  decision. Somehow in the back of my head something tells me there must have been some kind of  complaints to remove a child from a school with no further notice. He is big bloke for his age but needs a lot of attention. Yes, he is quite a handful although you simply handle him with bare structures and a straight follow up of things he needs to do. Probably some children have been scared of his massive being and complaint at home. They possibly have been ringing some bells at the address of Primo. I anyway think that the Dutch education system is not capable to handle these kind of kids. So let us say that we need to call attention to the more than 16,000 children who are officially truants, from their position that they themselves sit at home because their gifted with some kind of an attention disorder and there is no suitable school for them. Let me give you some facts that I could find

Yeah, it's like that the Minister of Education, Culture and Science (Ms Bussemaker) itself indicates over 16,000. And there are even more than for the previous school year 1600 more than in the 2011-2012 school year.

The numbers given by the minister herself :

I took the data in their house letter of  2010-2011 2009-2010

1. Absolute failure 8098 6878

Returned to school 4297 3599

2. Number of truants

A) start school 2296 2269

B) increase during

the school year 3140 2913

C) returned to school 3281 2414

3. Number of exemptions 3107 2964

Total according to definition 16 641 15 024 absolute failure, truants and exemption

 

With the term "truants" means the Minister pupils who should be enrolled in a school, but more than 4 weeks at home. For these students, the school is responsible. With "absolute failure" means the Minister school children / youth who are not enrolled in one (or not funded with) education. These children / young people do not go to school.

When both data are added leads to a group of 13,534 students in the 2010-2011 school year unjustified was not enrolled in school (absolute failure), or it was registered but longer than 4 weeks sat at home without a valid reason.

In the 2009-2010 school year was about 12,060 students.

If the number of exemptions here to be added, resulting in 2009-2010 a number of 15 024 and 16 641 students in 2010-2011. (This does not take into account the number of students in the course of the school year is returned to teaching.)

For exemptions talks about children who do not go to school because they need here are exempt. These children are officially not appropriate for school. This group as a newcomer many gifted children .

If you look at the background of the home are you come out on :

a third are gifted children

a third (potential) children with a so called backpack (for disability and behavioral)

a third adolescents (crime, drugs, alcohol problems in the child or the parents, problems at home)

For about 8,500 of the children covered by absolute failure, you can argue that there is accounting deregistration due to act embarrassment of the school, or school do not know what they should do for these children. School helps them not at a school that knows and can do. The responsibility lies with the Minister but the parents and according to her, the compulsory here required action.

However, if you for example look at the situation of this family the guys of  Primo Opsterland, the school board committee would like to send him to special school in Leeuwarden. According to the psychological welfare reports this would be a too long trip for the young bloke as he has trouble to sit still for such a long time and in half a years time there is space at a school nearby. The school board committee had no intention to listen to the parents as they already had made their choices and expelled him straight away. There answer was “we already started the procedure.” But you can not conclude that the parents have not gigantic done their best for their child to stay at school as the previous school had totally failed to handle him. Their son is now at home without any form of education, although our  school is bringing him some homework. When he was still enrolled in school, it was denied access a number of lessons. The school still feels obliged to give him some sort of an education and he will not get too far behind with his learning skills. Their son was removed from the previous school because of the embarrassment operation of the school.

The defense of the school board committee came down that she felt she had done enough by finding a school in Leeuwarden for further education by referring to a education providing for pupils with severe behavioral problems and to system for learning support.

The parents have as far as I understand rightly refused because there was no questions asked if their child is able to travel that far due to his impulsive kind of a behavior. They also indicated that the trip to Leeuwarden was not an option, because their boy is gifted therefor he is quickly bored and having ADHD makes him a person that runs all day in the fifth gear. In response, the school board committee says that the school system that gives education in the Netherlands simply is not set to the supervision of students as their son.

And now comes the curve: the school states that education in the Netherlands ( Not talking about the expensive private education which is also possible.) simply is not set to the accompaniment of these children and therefore, the attendance officer says that the parents are saddled up with their child sitting at home. Do you get it yet? I do not. Unfortunately I do not  know more families where there is a similar situation: school failure and the responsibility of this failure is on the school board committee.

The result of all this: they are awaiting a lawsuit as their child needs the special education.

There is an impasse. The parents say that there is no school at the moment for the boy, but I think he really can go anywhere. With a supervision order, I would love to help my family to  to find a suitable school. 

Can someone explain to me why the appointment of a appropriate school can be turned by the school board committee and make that the school is indicating action to be taken to get him some extra help? In this: during the time he was educated here at school. A prerequisite for this school is that the lessons are not followed within the regular borders you should just give him some other way of education. His learning skills are not the problem but his way of running through life in the fast lane is.
 
Sitting at home is not fun: you lose your friends and rhythm of life. You feel being left out, put aside. "I lack something. In addition, the children in a learning. Parents who have sufficient money can still choose the option private education. This option is not for most parents.

 
What should actually happen:

At work I see a lot of children who have learning difficulties and now successfully remain standing in the school system. Well, I see clear difference in children where the school their supports in the other approach were I talked about. I see the children at the elementary or secondary education already have grown in their learning, behavior and attitude. They can and want, sometimes only insight and tools needed for their learning and behavior. Come on guys of the school board committee it is not that hard, you are not only hired to earn your salaries by doing nothing else then to decide for others.

 
The Minister indicated that the national budget is based on enrolled students. The number of students not enrolled has no surplus in the national budget result she says. However, there is a certain number of students per school year. Are the files of the absolute homesitters from the bag of the minister as they count on the National Budget? The government holds 80 million per year to the children that "absolute truants are. Indeed they are not enrolled in school. For the relative truants (or enrolled in a school, not present) is also true: school receives money, making no charge for this home seated child. That money was supposed to be created in a fund should be stopped and should be used for re-integration of truants and to eliminate the learning deficiencies. The Education Inspectorate can see to it that this is done correctly and ensure that schools really pulled out all the stops to make sure that they take responsibility. Aloud the question: why is this child taken away from school. Schools are being hindered by the October 1 Control: For later onset former truants get a school no money. Schools also do a selective intake.

I heard that the kid and his parents are still supporting the teachers of the school as they do not blame them for failing but the system. I only wonder why the school board committee came to the idea that he needed to resign at this point: why is this child taken away from school or why this child should not come to our school anymore it makes me sick to my stomach and they possibly need to go to court to sue this school board committee for this ridiculous decision.

I would say hoist the sails and get started!

The Children's Ombudsman might be something helpful just have a look at the website http://www.dekinderombudsman.nl 

Parents, teachers, school counselors and other professionals who have experience with a child (temporarily) not attending school are invited to report. Children's Ombudsman Marc Dullaert uses the reports for his research on access to education in the Netherlands.

The Old Sailor,

 

End of the summer holidays

Dear Bloggers,

As it is the last weekend before the summer holidays are ending and the kids are getting ready for going to school again. We did all the lousy work as placing covers around the school books and buying stuff that you would need this coming semester. It has been a long summer this year as in 90% of the days rain was pooring down in large amounts that even streets flooded.

 

Show me any parent of young children and I’ll show you a person breathing a massive sigh of relief today that the six-week break is finally over. Some may even crack open the bubbly tonight to celebrate surviving what has become an almost impossible mix of childcare juggling, stretching the household budget to the breaking point, to simply tuning out to the constant moans of “I’m bored”.

Add into the mix more than one child and a parent will need to have developed the skills of an UN negotiator as the fight for boundries and territory for brothers and sisters, they intensify dramatically when school’s out for the summer.




Yes, six weeks can be a very long time when there’s youngsters to entertain. I am one of those parents that is constantly in the midlle of this unfair war called summer holiday. Running around through the trenches of battling kids that are trying to fill their days with silly things.

For working parents the need to find temporary childcare during working hours is not just expensive but far from easy to organise as grandpa and grandma are fun for a few days but after that they are also boring. If you are so lucky that your childcare is well organised the kids will find other ways to get your attention by nagging that we are never doing anything fun. And for those that are in the luxury position that they can be at home there is the constant demand for something to do. And that is not easy to think up things that are not that expensive or even free as most budgets are limited


Now I am a firm believer in the great outdoors and the limitless amusement to be had from letting your imagination run wild. But with the best will in the world today’s youngsters are not the greatest at making the most of these open and, more importantly, free commodities. And to be fair parents, in a world which appears to have more potential for harm, are not that great at letting them.

Most families will also want to share at least one special treat over the summer, if not one a week, and that is far from cheap. For example take the cinema. After Christmas the summer is the key time when most family blockbusters are released but with new 3D technology, taking a family of four can cost almost €60. That’s a fair old dent in the household budget and one which few can afford.



In fact there are not many family friendly attractions – A bit of a funpark charges you approx. €25 per person and than you need something to eat and to drink during the day. although bravo to the smaller funparks as they have normal entrance fares like €7,50 per adult and half price for kids up to the age of 15. Also Qbuzz public transport service in my part of the country adults pay the full price of €6 and take two kids for free up to the age of 11 a great ride for a bit of promotion. At least some kind of helping hand is needed for those who will have been tearing their hair out two days after the summer term ended. And that’s no exaggeration.

Attending a summer fair on the weekend after the schools broke up I was chatting to two mums who were watching their collective brood, five between them, run among the stalls like wild animals before they are taking over the bouncy castle in what can only be described as a frenzied attack. The best example of those battlegrounds that I desribed earlier in this blog.



One looked to the other with that what I thought was an “ahh factor” face only for it to dissolve into clenched fear while she joked in an almost whisper: “Good job I have a stocked up on wine because something tells me I am going to need it over the next few weeks.” Hmmm....living the great outdoors live and being half pissed all the time.

I really doubt she was alone in having that thought at the beginning of the summer.

The new term – it’s definitely good news for some.

The Old Sailor,

Stop bullying as it absolutely useless

Dear Bloggers,


My daughter is being bullied at school and what I think is a strange side effect. The victim is paid attention to but there is nothing done to tne source. My wife had enough of the not do anything attitude of the teacher and schoolboard. So she kicked in when my daughter told that it has started again. Maybe it was not the right way to do it, but it looks like we are finally getting somewhere although it is a bit late. If you don’t stop or remove the one that bullies it is that he or she will find a next victim as they don’t care as long as they have the power. Start with taking the one that bullies apart to see where his or her life went wrong. Maybe he or she is the one that is cornered at home. It sounds too me that there is only eye for the victim and not for the source isn’t this the same as trying to extinguish a fire with petrol.

What is bullying?

Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion. Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.

Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target. Cyber-bullying by both boys and girls -- in online chat rooms, e-mail, and text-messaging -- is increasing.

Bullying is a common experience for many children and teens. Direct bullying seems to increase through the elementary school years, peak in the middle school/junior high school years, and decline during the high school years. Although direct physical assault seems to decrease with age, verbal abuse appears to remain constant.

Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component of bullying is physical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse.

Who bullies?

Students who engage in bullying behaviors seem to have a need to feel powerful and in control. They appear to derive satisfaction from inflicting injury and suffering on others, seem to have little empathy for their victims, and often defend their actions by saying that their victims provoked them in some way.

Bullies often come from homes in which physical punishment is used, where striking out physically is a way to handle problems, and where parental involvement and warmth are frequently lacking.
Students who regularly display bullying behaviors are generally defiant or oppositional toward adults, antisocial, and apt to break school rules.

Bullies appear to have little anxiety and to possess strong self-esteem. There is little evidence to support the contention that bullies victimize others because they feel bad about themselves.

Chronic bullies seem to continue their behaviors into adulthood, negatively influencing their ability to develop and maintain positive relationships, and can experience legal or criminal troubles as adults.

Bystanders also play a role in bullying:

· the assistant who joins the bully

· the re-enforcer who encourages the bully by observing and laughing

· outsiders who avoid the bullying by staying away and not getting involved for fear of losing social status or being bullied as well

If you suspect your child is bullying others, it's important to seek help for him or her as soon as possible. Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal difficulties. Talk to your child's pediatrician, teacher, principal, school counselor, or family physician. If the bullying continues, a comprehensive evaluation by a mental health profesional should be arranged. The evaluation can help you and your child understand what is causing the bullying, and help you develop a plan to stop the destructive behavior.

Who gets bullied?

Victims of bullying may be anxious, insecure, and cautious and suffer from low self-esteem, rarely defending themselves or retaliating when confronted by students who bully them. They may lack social skills and friends and thus are often already socially isolated. Victims tend to be close to their parents and may have parents who can be described as overprotective.

Victims of bullies often fear school and consider it to be an unsafe and unhappy place. Victims will often stay home 'sick' rather than go to school or travel on the school camps.

Victims experience real suffering that can interfere with their social and emotional development, as well as their school performance. Some victims of bullying have attempted suicide rather than continue to endure such harassment and abuse. Other victims have taken out their anger, and frustration in violence. Most of the young people who have caused school-related-violent-deaths, have been victims of bullying. Experts, pointing to such tragic events as Columbine, agree that bullying can lead to serious violence, including murder and suicide.

Also adults can face these problems

If you suspect your child may be the victim of bullying ask him or her to tell you what's going on. It's important to respond in a positive and accepting manner. Let your child know it's not his or her fault, and that he or she did the right thing by telling you. Ask your child what he or she thinks should be done. What's already been tried? What worked and what didn't? Help your child practice what to say to the bully so he or she will be prepared the next time.

Other specific suggestions include the following:

· Know the school policies that protect students from harassment, bullying, and physical violence. All students have the right to a safe and secure learning environment. Get copies of these policies and procedures.

· Seek help from your child's teacher, the school guidance counselor, and school administrators -- and hold them accountable for following school policy. Most bullying occurs on playgrounds, in lunchrooms or in unsupervised halls. Ask the school administrators to find out about programs other schools and communities have used to help combat bullying, such as peer mediation, conflict resolution, anger management training, and increased adult supervision.

· Notify the police if your child is assaulted. Get a restraining order so that the bully is required by law to have no contact with your child.

· If school officials and the police do not follow policy or laws, take legal action

If your child becomes withdrawn, depressed, reluctant to go to school, or if you see a decline in school performance, additional consultation or intervention may be required.

A menthal health professional can help your child and family and the school develop a strategy to deal with the bullying. Seeking professional assistance earlier can lessen the risk of lasting emotional consequences for your child.

Why don't young people tell adults?

Students typically feel that adult intervention is infrequent and ineffective and that telling adults will only bring more harassment from bullies. Shortly sad telling someone means more pain. Students are also reluctant to tell teachers or school staff as many adults view bullying as a harmless rite of passage that is best ignored unless verbal and psychological intimidation crosses the line into physical assault or theft.

What can adults do to stop the bullying?

Combating bullying is a mission that requires cooperation between everyone involved. Parents, the school, and the community must work together to stop bullying. A comprehensive intervention plan that involves all students, parents, and school staff can help ensure that all students can learn in a safe and fear-free environment.

This can include school surveys on bullying to identify the problem, awareness campaigns in schools, libraries, and recreation centers, and a school climate where bullying is not tolerated (educational programs, peer counseling, whole-school policies, classroom rules, cooperative learning activities, increased supervision during lunch and recess).

If your child is a victim of bullying try to see the signals they will give by changes in behaviour for example and talk to your child to find out what might have gone wrong. Straight away talk to the teacher to make them aware of the problem. We talked about the problems my daughter faces and due to her low self-esteem she will start with practising the martial art of Judo. My daughter is a victim of intentional exclusion in her class. She is facing this together with another girl in her class. None of the kids in her class dares to stand up to the bully as they believe that he is the powerful one and tells that he is not afraid of anyone. (Hitler had a same kind of mental disorder, so the bully might get somewhere.)

Judo not only for boys

Luckely she has not been assaulted in a physical way and to prevent that she will be a victim later in her life. Make sure that your child starts to find new ways to make new friends in school as long as they feel safe and happy the rest will change step by step. As a parent stand up for the rights of your child. At least she can defend herself. About one thing I am quite happy that it does not effect her learning process. Yes bullying is from all times. But people that bully are normally not the sharpest knives in the kitchendrawer. (I would rather call them low lives.)

At least I will try to have respect for every living creature.

The Old Sailor,

End of the summer holiday

Dear Bloggers,

If central Netherlands will also go back to school, the Northern part already started again for at least two weeks.

They are learning reading: With the words Me, moon, rose.

And they learn to multiply and add.

Two weeks is often the case?

A period that children, especially infants get a small decline in fatigue and mood.

The first few weeks and they are getting up happy, when they are clean and brushed waiting at the door when you call them once to go to school, then suddenly there is more and more that they take it slow and they start crying at the farewell.

I often heard the question lately how you can support your child when they go back to school. Obviously, every child and family is different, here are some collected opinions:

Specifically: Tell what you know: the teachers name, This is your class, this is your seat and in the circle. Here we hang your coat on, and look here is the bathroom. If the clock tells..., I come and pick you up.(babysitter, caretaker at school) at the entrance. Avoid big and exciting stories what they do and learn. That comes later.

Specifically 2, after school: Keep your questions short and limited, how was it? It is difficult for a young elementary school child to respond. Easier when you have something concrete to ask like: I see paint on your pants, have you been making something? Or: Fridays you've always have gymnastics and which teacher is going with you? Do you like it (or is it stupid!) what you do with gym? What games do you on the playground? Was that the story of a frog or a horse this morning the teacher was telling? What was that frog doing? The first time it is very difficult for any child to tell what is happening and what he or she experiences. Give them some space, do not expect too much. Suddenly your daughter says:? you know what I find really dumb? and you have beautiful leads to a good conversation.

Caring:(even with an anxious heart) Larger children suddenly doing more cool things as driving around on bikes. That, after the summer they are suddenly being a huge step further. Show me how you do that?,is the question. You say: I walk behind you and if I think you cross the street next time you can do it on your own?.

Caring 2: Keep it cool at home. Playing with others is fine, but set straight away some limits. Two afternoons per week is really enough. Especially for toddlers. And get them to bed on time!
To get them back into the daily rythm will be the hardest part, and also for myself this will be tricky.

The Old Sailor,

Holiday Fun?

Dear Bloggers,

Our country is hardly moving, or at least not so fast anymore.

We live these days in a whirl.

On the edge of pulling through the last bits or they are at least dreaming away about what will happen.

However, many also are concerned about what will happen.

Will I be fired after the holiday or am I another victim of the Mexican flu?

According to experts, the recession and the flu will show themselves from their worst side soon. It can be seen in their faces.

Some are looking pale, despite the fact it is already high summer for weeks.

Others are brown tainted and sitting relaxed behind their desks.

Just work for a while, and then we really are going on a holiday.

However, the open-mindedness is something that is far gone this year because now the exciting places may be hazardous this time.

And then the idea that the holidays might be the last ones Mom or Dad gets unemployed.

This in relation with the stranglemorgage they can not cough up moneywise.

In the street you start to find empty places.

You got already quickly used to caravans and motorhomes that decorate the street.

With a certain probability I think that a few of them need to sell their so called “hobbyhome”.

I am also happy that I am not that hooked on going on holidays.

I find it just as much fun on the Costa Backyard as the Costa del Sol.

As myself many parents of young children pressing their last energy out to begin the holiday with as much fun as possible.

I therefore put the pool up and place it in the backyard, the children still had not much interest although the temperature was rising to thirty degrees celcius.

Unfortunately, the kids don't want to do anything fun because they are just tired.

The last bits and pieces were the hardest ones.

Here at home the atmosphere is excited as they understand that we no longer have to get up early.

But if you're awake then you will find Dad downstairs.

I am almost every morning up around six o'clock already, because my body is being painful crying for a hot shower and medication to mute the pain.

After a few days they are used to the new rythm and get out of bed as I have already a half a day behind me.

It is pretty tiring for our kids, waking up every morning at seven o'clock because they have to get ready for school.

But if it is holidaytime, it is tricky in the beginning to sleep in, and it happens the first few days that we shared our breakfast at seven, despite the fact that we all are having summerbreak, but many times after breakfast my oldest daughter goes back to bed.

And I cannot say that this is wrong.

It is only the beginning of July their holidays have just begun.

We only go on a trip at the end of their summer holidays.

It all boils down to a week or five with nothing to do.

(According to my two lovely daughters we find this boring.)

If we sit at the breakfast table, and I prepare for this holiday time, I am bringing up my topic: “Adventure” is the magic word.

Where do you want to go this holiday?

There is a long silence at the breakfast table.

However, my oldest comes up with a few ideas and I write them on paper.

We make a list of adventures park it to the cooker hood.

My youngest doesn't care at all no matter where we go as long as we go by bus.

(she is five and that is her greatest passion.)

Indignation, is widespread when my wife announced that we have no money for these kind of things.

The recession became also active in our savings account.

We will probably not be able to do all adventures but at least a part of them.

We just want to have occasionally the holiday feeling, after the hard work at school where the days were long.

We are happy with a museum and an amusement park this would be enough for us.

It is true, they had to work hard this year because our school was not that good.

The inspection has been very satisfied with the results.

I fear that after the holidays, when school starts again, it will cost the same amount of weeks to return to the harness of getting up on time and yes soon enough it is again November 11 and we are also getting closer to the arrival of Sinterklaas.

Then new strenuous times are there.

There is something unfair in it, they have so much to learn, and I occasionally learn a bit about all the new techniques.

But they are still at the beginning of life and will have at least 45 to 50 years of working for a future to build, I am now somewhere halfway.

I am going to think quietly about it and take a walk through the neighborhood.

It is a confusing time.

Neighbors in shorts are busy packing the camper.

Mothers with children riding hasty and crates full of groceries into the street. (own potatoes rule)

At home my children enjoy their holiday in the garden leave and I walk on quietly thinking.over everything.

Slowly I realize that during my childhood we did not go on holiday because there was simply no money for it.

However, I do not blame my parents because they made great trips with us to the IJselmeer.(the big lake in the middle of the Netherlands.)

We had bread and coffee to go and we bought an ice cream.

This was according to my experience the ultimate holiday.

The Old Sailor,

Time to go back to school

The summer is nearly over and the kids need to go back to school, not a single day of their holiday they wanted to sleep in.
But of course today school was starting again and to get them out of bed was a crime.



Strange because six weeks long they were up before seven o’clock in the morning. Yes, all of a sudden we had to get up early and then my little princesses did not want to get out of bed.
All the things in live have a rythm.
At least that is what they say, but I am not a 100% sure about that.
Some days you never get into the rythm, eventhough you would love to.
A family life is not always easy, I must admit that it has it’s beautiful sides.
But some days are pretty heavy, youre not only dealing with the kids but also with your hard working spouce.



There is simply no rest at all in your situation.
If you make the choice to do nothing the world around starts to complain and looks angry at you.
In these kind of situations i envy all the single people.
But let us look on the bright side of life.
Now the kids have gone to school and my wife has gone to work, it is very quiet in the house.
And it is kind of lonely to be home on your own.



There is never a moment to escape from reality, it is always there.
I hope that i can get myself to do something today, as the weather outside is as depressing as my mood.
Of course we going to give it a try, but i am not expecting a lot that will come out of my hands.
I think it is the after-the-summer-holiday-depression-season


The Old Sailor,