Looking for the "One" is useless

Dear Bloggers,

My life had many ups and downs and also my love live has been all over the place. Every break up is different and from all of them I've learned something. I gave up love for a while as I was so heartbroken and did not believe in relationships anymore. I cried my heart out and could not se the future at that point and fully out of the blue, I met my lovely wife. And yes we are still beautiful people eventhough we aged and got wrinkles our hearts are still bouncing. I am still madly in love and she is the best I have. let's hope that it will last forever.

 
The feeling of being in love is the best. When you meet someone and have that instant spark. You hit it off right from the start and get butterflies in your stomach every time you see them. When hours of being together feel like minutes. When you can get an hour of sleep and still feel high on life the next day. Not to mention the blissful feeling of certainty when we feel like you’ve met “the one” (finally!). You start fantasizing about the future together and are convinced that the other person is on the same page you are. It went on for weeks and in your opinion life couldn't get any better.
And then it ended.

And you were not only heartbroken, but shocked because it seemed so right and you don’t understand what went wrong.
Contrary to what romantic comedies made us believe, this is actually fairly common and not necessarily a bad thing.

I know that is not comforting if you are in the pain of a break-up, but stay with me because understanding why the one you thought was going to be forever ended may offer you some relief.

What I have seen over and over again with friends is that they meet someone who has all the qualities that they have dreamed about, and they are so happy when they are with that person. And then the relationship ends often in a very abrupt way or because of uncontrollable or unchangeable circumstances. It almost feels like the person is literally being taken away. Well they kind of are – and for a good reason, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Why does a relationship that feels so right end? So that you can truly see what is so amazingly “right” about you.

I’ll explain…

Just as people are here to teach us where we have judgments and unresolved issues, they are also here to illuminate what is so amazing about ourselves that we are not acknowledging, owning and experiencing. If you have been with someone you thought was the one, you probably found certain qualities about him or her incredibly attractive. You also may have said, “She brought out the best in me!” Exactly. He or she did bring out the best of you, but it’s your job to keep it going. They fulfilled their spiritual agreement with you by attracting you with their awesome qualities to reflect to you what you are not seeing about yourself. And by triggering the best inside of you so you could have the experience of your awesomeness. But it wasn’t their job to stay.

When she was around I felt beautiful and confident. She consistently told me that and she did things that made me feel that way. I loved her so much and treated her with love, respect and kindness. Now that she was gone, my confidence has tumbled to it's lowest point ever. and I was desperately attempting to figure out what I did wrong.
She did not do anything wrong (and neither did you if you were can relate to any part of her story). Sometimes the Universe sometimes “reassigns” a person to support you in fully integrating what they were reflecting inside of you, and to protect you from a co-dependent relationship. For example, if you were really attracted to their creativity or drive, one of their gifts to you was to inspire you to reconnect with your creativity or drive.

 
Or as in my case, before our relationship I never felt really beautiful and had very little self-confidence. I just filled a void that had been empty for nearly 5 years. In order for her to fully step into her own beauty and confidence she is now faced with the opportunity to fill the void herself.

We cannot see in another what we don’t have inside ourselves. If you feel like the person brought out a quality of yours like creativity, you are incorrect. They merely triggered what has been sleeping inside of you. No one else can make us do anything that we aren’t already. If the person were still there, you would not be as motivated to be the things you miss about them or the version of you that you were with them.

Remember no one is the “one” because everyone is the one. Every single person you have a relationship with (and I don’t just mean that romantically) is a soul mate because they are teaching you soul lessons. We all are mirrors and teachers for each other to learn our life and write new pages in our book of life.

I understand that nothing feels quite as devastating as not being able to be with the one you thought she or he was the “one.” What would be devastating is never truly integrating the amazing qualities you saw or experienced with or in that other person. You were not rejected, their future was just reassigned.

The purpose of any relationship is for our learning and to grow in love. Both for another and for ourselves. It is not necessarily to be together forever, as this is not realistic as some lose the love of their live due to an accident or a terrible disease. It should make us happy, or fulfill any void in our lives. I encourage you to move through the pain that you have and get to the purpose of your relationship. Begin to see how it served you and learn something from it.

Trust that although the physical presence of a person may not be there anymore, the qualities you loved about them belong to you. What you love about them is still inside of you.

You bring out the best in you. It’s there. Stop looking for it in the eyes or arms of another. And when you bring out the best in you then you will be able to share it with someone who brings out the best in themselves, too. 

No more wondering if someone else is the “one”. You are the one you have been looking for.



The Old Sailor,

End of the year, end of the money.

Dear Bloggers,

Are you scared for your future?
Now our economy is slowly but surely tumbling down, but why are these bankers and economists so surprised? Did it come earlier then they had expected, or don’t they have any common sence? Is it part of the show they have to put up, as the banks cannot pay us out as we have made money out of air for many years. It is the best fairytale ever made.



These questions are running through my head as I have seen the news about our ressesive economy and banks are tumbling down.

And we have all followed the delusion that was created by other human beings that were just a bit smarter then the rest.
It is time to turn our backs towards these crazy ideas, but it is hard to tell it to everybody.
Like a falling guillotine blade, stock markets around the world come crashing down, chopping off the head of the old economy.
Something old is dying so that something new can emerge.
It’s scary but in some ways it’s also a relief.




It seemed like the old economy was turning us into obsessive, compulsive, out of control creatures we politely call “consumers”.
Can anyone really say they’re surprised at what’s happening.
For years I’ve been conflicted about being a consumer.
We are caught up in a consumer society, we had to keep buying and consuming more and more stuff to keep the economy going (even if it made us sick in the process).
Maybe what we had was more like an addiction than an economy.
Are these falling stock markets a wake up call?



Call me an idealist for thinking about what we can become and the role that technology could play in helping us get there.
It’s always been an allegory about how technology can help us be who we want to be.
Tell me how you would like to be: kind, loving, considerate, well-balanced, humane… and let me run ahead on the path to do just that."

Stock markets are crashing on fears that global recession is at hand, yet in the process maybe we are waking up.
The same thing happened in the early 1900’s.
The world itself is a stock market.
It unfolds moment to moment (as it’s doing now) in bewildering and unpredictable ways and this is reported back to us in massive real-time flows of data, voice and video (like the information feeds coming out of a stock exchange).
These real-time flows show what’s happening and they show the effects of our actions as we act.
This is a mirror.



It is the world’s database, our common identity, the basis for discussing our mutual problems and our mutual opportunities.
All we need to do is look into the mirror and see who we are and see if we are becoming who we say we want to be (or not).
Something like Google Earth is just a hint of what our mirror could soon look like. Instead of the still pictures we see today, we could see moving pictures of world events from satellites and aerial drones as they happen.
The technology and the data flows already exist to make this a reality.
If we could see things happening as they happen would we learn faster?
Would we get better at going where we want to go?
Would it be easier to make the changes we need to make?



We should all look forward to the future and simply see that money is just part of the game to control us, but there is actually no need for it anymore.
I was discussing this matter with my colleague how is taking over in the night time hours. And we think in the same direction that this whole thing, moneywise, political and power is based on a truth we were made to believe, they could have kept us stupid if internet would not have become such a success. But still only some of us find out slowly, how whe have been tricked for so many years by a little elite group of manipulating people that profit from this modern slavery.



I have watched the movie zeitgeist and zeitgeist addendum and I think it is right time to start watching this and change your opinion.
Put the higlighted words in google and watch the movie (it is either subtitled or in your own language synchronised)
But let me warn you, this is not a video for persons that are being mentally unstable or afraid of changes. It is time for the big change very soon, as our old economy is falling apart.

The Old Sailor,