Love Hurts

If I am going to play cupid, you will at least end up with a broken heart.

The prince on the handsome white horse

This blog was posted in Dutch on 28 april 2008

Dear bloggers,

This story is specially for all the female readers
.
Finally you found him, the prince on the white horse where you have ben dreaming about all your life……………



And than after a month he shows already a few cracks in his image and also the horse is not that good (together you cripple already through life)
So to go short princes and white horses are reasonly unreliabile.
It is a bit the same as a vicious guy and a sportscar.
The worst is what I think is that your dream of the future is soapbubble, and there will be nothing of your dreamt future come true.

I think that the same has overcome my wife, she thought that she had found the prince of her dreams.
Although she did not mis anything and also love she does not have to be short of.
Well her prince was in the good old days more loving and much more spontanius (these are her words)
How could this happen?
In the old days I was not turned down or disappointed
And we did not to take care about anything.
We did not have children and financially we had nothing to complain, furthermore we were in the blooming time of our lives and nearly every day sexual adventures (What is there to wish more for a man.)



And now we have come to the Charles en Diana chapter, there were fairytale stops to excist. It starts to become for me bigger growing dilemma, she says that she still loves me but does not show that at all.
The most used excuses are:
Either the kids are awake, or she complains that she is so tired and wants to go to sleep, but strange enough she watches at least half an hour television.
All my attempts are being turned down.

If I break through the cirkel and it comes to the deed, I am to rough or to much in a rush
I am getting more and more trouble to keep myself in line.
Sometimes i wonder if all women with an own opinion, are so distant to their spouce.
There are actually a lot of women that are not allowed to be contradict against their man, in my eyes this is very old fashioned, but they still excist.

I will never be a Casanova and I do not wish to be one.
But I start to understand more and more these men around me.
I never understood these men that had a girlfriend next to their relationship, or the midlifelosers that found there pleasures outdoors.
It becomes clearer to me, if you are being turned down all the time, you start to look for pleasure somewhere else.
Home is only a statement for the outside world.

I don’t want to hurt anyone or cause suspicion, please don’t get me wrong
But it is one of the reasons why now a days a lot of marriages get stranded after a few years
And in 90% of the cases the man was caught being unfaithfull. (Men are not that handy in hiding these thing and to live with a sectret.)
He is portraited as the bad guy.
Nobody asks for the real reason behind this behavior.
Especially women “get a kick on it” to get these guys fully convicted and put him down to the ground.

But isn’t the mistake at their own gender
It is pretty tricky to stay a prince if they constantly try to upset you.
The white horse has in the meantime been exchanged for a familycar and the money you worked so hard for ended up in a payment for a mortgage.
The fairytale marriage still excists.




The once so handsome prince bacame a kind of Cinderella figure, who has every now and then a pretty hard life as the “two little darfs” are giving him a hard time
And if you are coming home from work the “wicked witch” is sitting on the couch.
I would love to see this changed and make it, to get to the last page of the fairytalesbook.

The story nearly always ends with “and they lived happily ever after.” This I would rather end wit my own words as: “Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

Not just good, but very good for you

Dear bloggers,

About a week ago, I ended up in a deep conversation with a good friend of mine, we talked about the fact why we are actually being on this planet and for what reason? We also found out that behaving agressive or getting angry is actually a silly kind of emotion. And believe me it does not help you at all.
Although it can take the pressure away when you have a burst out.
Just give up pretending that you are so special.
We will all end the same,so you better make something out of it.
Relax and take it easy.

In life there are only a few things important, a lot of people forget to enjoy themselves.

If your wife or girlfriend feels stressed, depressed, has a headache or wants to get in shape, she should simply read the following guidelines.

Not just good, but very good for you
have loads of sex and it helps to keep us healthy



I do not share all my hobbies with my friends, but at least we can approach this scientificly but behind closed doors.
I was surfing on the internet to find me some new things to explore scientific, this time it was not beer but sex another hobby of me.

Okay, so maybe there’s some wishful thinking going on — the science isn’t exactly iron-clad — but evidence is accumulating that the more sex you have, the better off you are.

Yes, boys and girls you should do these things to keep in good shape you do not only need a fitness room, but for the benefits of sex are generally thought to people in loving, monogamous relationships.
For the once flying solo, be carefull a sexually transmitted disease might kill you in the healthiest days of your life.



Risky sex with lots of partners will probably do more harm than good.
But while researchers try to nail down the impact on overall health, data is mounting when it comes to some specifics.
Here are several potential benefits:

1. Easing depression and stress



The release from orgasm does much to calm people. It helps with sleep, and that is whether we talk about solo sex or sex with a partner.
But wait, there’s more. A recent study of college students at the State University of New York in Albany suggests that semen acts as an antidepressant. Females in the study who were having sex without condoms (see safe sex caution, above) had fewer signs of depression than women who used condoms or abstained from sex.
“These data are consistent with the possibility that semen may antagonize depressive symptoms,” the authors wrote, “and evidence which shows that the vagina absorbs a number of components of semen that can be detected in the bloodstream within a few hours of administration.”
Hmm, I am not kidding you, ladies. Semen is good stuff. It gives a shot of zinc, calcium, potassium, fructose, proteins -- a veritable cornucopia of vitality!
It is as good as breakfast, with fresh squeezed orange juice (sorry I got carried away a bit)

2. Relieving pain



Orgasm is a powerful pain-killer. Oxytocin, a natural chemical in the body that surges before and during climax, gets some of the credit, along with a couple of other compounds like endorphins.
According to a study by Beverly Whipple, professor emeritus at Rutgers University and a famed sexologist and author, when women masturbated to orgasm “the pain tolerance threshold and pain detection threshold increased significantly by 74.6 percent and 106.7 percent respectively.”

3. Boosting cardio health



I can’t resist another plug for semen. It’s possible that male his little swimmers can lower your blood pressure.
Another recent study found that women who gave their men oral sex, and swallowed, had a lower risk of preeclampsia, the dangerously high blood pressure that sometimes accompanies pregnancy.
No, I’m not making this up. “The present study shows that oral sex and swallowing sperm is correlated with a diminished occurrence of preeclampsia,” said the Dutch authors.

See? We told you it was good for you.
There have been other studies showing that sex lowers blood pressure, and might even protect against strokes because of its stress-relieving ability.
But when we think of sex and the cardio system.
Is there nicer way to get "a broken heart"
Well, not only does that hardly ever happen, but sex might actually protect the heart. So let's get started with a life, that contains a weekly schedule of frequent sexual intercourse.

4. Countering prostate cancer
Over the past few years, several journals have published studies showing that the more ejaculations the better.
Now the Journal of the American Medical Association, no less, has reported that “high ejaculation frequency was related to decreased risk of total prostate cancer.” It doesn’t matter how a man climaxes -- intercourse or masturbation.
So next time he says, “Really, honey, it’s therapy,” he could be telling the truth.
And I have a different opinion about men now with well devolleped upper arms (okay, not every bodybuilder is wanker)

5. Healing wounds
Some evidence suggests sex can be rejuvenating to the point of helping wounds to heal faster. Several experiments have shown that oxytocin can help even stubborn sores, like those suffered by diabetics, to heal by regenerating certain cells.

6. Fighting aging



Maybe it’s the reverse of the aging process, maybe the happiness, maybe all of the above.
One thing’s for sure: “Use it or lose it” is literally true.
For ever young isn't that the dream of many of us?
Complications like urinary tract infections. What’s one way to prevent it? More intercourse.
Sex is a form of exercise, after all, and like all exercise, it burns calories and can help battle the onslaught of the years. In fact, nursing home experts say they wish oldsters would have more sex.
Can sex really make you live longer? Maybe.
Of course, it could be that these gents were just healthier and felt like having sex more often.

But since there’s no evidence that lots of sex is bad for you, what have you got to lose?

I just follow these lines in life:
Live life as long it is there
pray for less fights
spend your last money on a drink
and fuck if your life is depending on it

The Old Sailor,

Idiots and lunatics surround us

Dear Blogger,

Has the world gone crazy or is it me?

It came to my mind when I was at work and saw a bunch of totally crazy people around me.
They have been drinking themselves out of their head, and smoked loads of marihuana.

But as usual I started thinking further that they are not the only ones on this planet, there are plenty of them. In all kinds and sorts and also in all kinds of functions: politicians, religic leaders, environmental guru’s and worst ones I think are the so called inbreeds and from the last group of people, we are getting more and more. It is surprising me that we still don’t have had bigger accidents than the wars and terror attacks that have taken place in recent history.



There is a time coming I fear that either the animals will take over or some lunatics will blow up the whole planet, both options are not that un natural if we look back in history.
Maybe the dinosaurs are coming back after a huge tsunami, most of the survivors in human beings will not live that long as there will be no more internet connection, so how can they survive when they can not google their way out. And communicating with other people, how is that working?
Because there is no skype, mobile network, or an active site like facebook.

Or the other option that they blow up the whole planet, this only needs a war and shooting missiles at eachother. It might happen even in the natural way, but that might be the hand of god?

Use the following link to do the test and find out if you are one of them?
http://www.addictinggames.com/theidiottest.html


This is the first page you will see if you use the link


The Old Sailor

There are female hormones in beer

This blog was posted in Dutch on 28-02-2008

Dear blogger,


Also I have lowered myself to the world of science, to find some facts and results.

But of course the part of scientific experiment is that the outcoming facts would bring something for myself aswell.
It has to bring us some profit otherwise it would have been a waste of money and time. Otherwise it would not add something to the future.


There are female hormones in beer !!!

Last weekend I was hanging out with a couple of mates in a pub and at certain point it became a philosophic conversation.
At a certain point one of them said that had read somewhere that beer contains alot of female hormones.
After having a good laugh about it, we decided to proof this matter and we will find out about the unbearable naked truth, of course purely in the name of scientific believes, we had to drink about 20 beers.
At the end of the experiment we had effectifly found the proof that beer is filled with female hormones.

01. We all gained weight.
02. We talked a lot, without saying anything.
03. We could not drive a car in a normal way, also parking became impossible.
04. We could not think logical anymore.
05. We could not admit that we were wrong, eventhough this was definitely the case.
06. All of us thought that 'she' the centre of the universe.
07. We had a headache and totally no lust for sex.
08. Our emotions where hardly controlabble.
09. We walked toghether holding hands or arms wrapped around to support eachoter.
10. We had to go to the toilet every 15 minutes, and most of the time all of us at the same point.

In the name of science we will test next week if rum has the same effect.



Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!


P.s point 03 does not have my full support.
I agree on the fact that a lot of women have the problem with things like parking, but the average woman drives better than a man as they are driving slower and drive with less potention to show off.
And they driving more carefully by looking more forward.
For example "I also have 2 kids in the backseat who i have to get home safely.”

Dangerous.................but lovely

The Birthday Present

This blog was posted in Dutch on the 18th of march 2008

The Birthday Present

Dear bloggers,

I did not dare to tell but my wife and spouce had the genious idea to get as a birthday present a new pneumatic drill for me....
Well... when i took off the giftwrapping, my mouth fell open of astonishment.
"And?" she said, "Do you like your gift, is it ok?" I stotterd something like "Thanks... very impressive.
"Where did you buy this thing actually?"
"From a friend who just came back from Afghanistan." She said.
"He has bought a huge amount of them overthere and sells them now in the West of Europe for peanuts."
I was totally shocked.
That bad that, when she said: "And now you finally gone hang up this pictureframe with the picture of my dad."
And i really got started with the users manual.

After an hour of studying some kind of outrages….. anger….yes…..anger, dear bloggers, a kind of outrages madness.
I could just control myself and asked her finely tuned: "And where on the wall did you want to have in mind to place this picture of your dad?" "Well overhere!" she said, and pointed me the place at the wall where on the other side definitely the neighbors livingroom would be.

The bang was overwhelming, the penetration abilities of the projectiel were unbelieveable and the aquarium of the neighbors was fully splintered into a million pieces.

Dear bloggers, I am writing you this letter from the prison.
They have – totally with no right at all – meant to lock me up as a dangerous idiot that i am actually not.
But you did know this, or? That i am not dangerous, i mean!

It is pretty lonely out here, dear bloggers. All conversations are about soccer, motorbikes and horny bitches, or molotovcocktails and how a human being can in a very suffistucated way bring a prison warden to the end of his life.
Not really 'My cup of tea'.

More than ever i need your support.
Send me letters and postcards and... and... packages with presents and... yes... those cakes and bread WITH ALL KINDS OF THINGS IN IT.... you know what i mean.
It doesn’t make sence to give you the openingtimes of the prison, as only my family is allowed to visit me.
Luckely my wife and spouce is coming every day to visit me.
She keeps outing herself in vague apoligies and asks over and over again. 'how this all could have happened?'

Until now i did not succeed to explain her the difference between a pneumatic drill and a ….. well, have a look at the picture.

Dear bloggers, i don’t see any way to get out of here.
I can not take this forever.
If they are gone take me to trial and ask me about the how and why, what should i say?
That i never meant to hit the neighbors wife and after that the aquarium?

The odds are against me.
I will never see you again.

I loved you all in a passionate way!
Your Old Sailor.

A bad hair day

Count all your blessings!!

Dear Blogger,

I just woke up and grinn to my face in the mirror, my hair looks like an exploded pillow.
Oh yes my dear bloggers i am having one of these bad hair days.



When i walk into the bathroom and threaten to wash my hairs, then my three women have taken care of the fact that there are five or six different kinds of shampoo are available.
Everytmie i am in doubt: do i have bold hair or dry hair or do i have in between hair?
If you ever go to the supermarket, just pay attention for once what they have in stock in so many different kinds and brands.



All good news so to say.
I hope that our next generation knows how to handle all this.
For the past decade, people have focused on the importance of clean drinking water. Purified drinking water reduces or eliminates chemicals found in normal tap water. However,the body derives its need for water from alternative sources, most notably while showering.
It is common practice in most of Europe to shower on a daily basis, sometimes more than once.



Unfortunately, most people are unaware that more chlorine is absorbed through the skin during the average shower than by drinking six to eight glasses of tap water. This may make one wonder,how clean is shower water?
Furthermore, chlorine and other water contaminants reduce the effectiveness of many shampoos, conditioners, lotions, oils and skin creams, leaving your skin dry and unnourished.
Any contact the body has with water is cause for concern.
Swimming pools and hot tubs use chlorine to kill bacteria.
Little thought is given to the effect on the human body.
Chlorine is a highly toxic element, which has the ability to denature protein.
All living organisms are made up of protein; so any living organism that comes in contact with sufficient quantities of chlorine is killed.
After swimming or showering you may notice that you have sore eyes, nose blockage, respiratory problems (such as asthma), cracking skin (hands and feet), or dry hair and an itchy scalp.
You may also feel tired and your skin might smell of chlorine for hours afterwards, even after showering.
Do not think I want to keep you away from getting clean by taking a shower, or talking a swim to relax.
But it is worth considering that in my young days, we went swimming in the lake and showered once a week all the other days you just washed yourself.
We were good for our body and saved the environment without knowing it.

Smelly people, live longer due to their higher resistance level.

The Old Sailor,

Navigation of Vaginazi

This blog was also posted in Dutch on june 20, 2008

Dear blogger,

All of a sudden the memories of last years holiday are popping into my head.
It is that time of year again, we are going on a holiday, a kind of car rally with two wining and fighting kids on the backseat.
And this is for many of us a yearly repeating ritual.
Luckely for me that I am allergic to everything that is called camping misery. Cocclusion no draggingmobile (caravan) for me.

The first heat is the roll play as this: I drive, my wife reads the map.
Somewhere along the way we drove in the wrong direction, but what the heck it is traffic jams all over.
Luckely we printed a clear route discription and this we will follow as good as possible.
Completely against all the instrictions given on the routeplanner that we have used, she decides all of a sudden that we have to take a left turn and............yes she knows it for sure.



It nearly becomes a serious fight, but wisely i am biting my lip and remeber that every comment that i want to give, might lead us towards a divorce.
From this moment the atmosphere is suffacated and the rest of the holidays i can forget about sex.(I am not even allowed to think about it.)
Everything that goes wrong from now on is my fault and I was the one that has planned this, so it is my problem.

It is so lovely and relaxing this so called holiday feeling.
For the next laps to come, we have decided that she will drive and I will read the map.
In the darkest hour of the night we finally found our destination.
Also the weather is the following days not my best friend as it is only pooring with rain, rain and nothing else but rain, even the locals have never ever experienced so much shitty weather.
Now can women do a lot of things but reading maps is a disaster.



I close my eyes and go to sleep….And get lost in pleasant way if i have to drive somewhere.
I am now seriously planning to buy a Tomtom.(Navigationbrand)

My wish for everybody: "have a lovely holiday season."


The Old Sailor,

ANNOUNCEMENT

Dear bloggers,

I will translate some of the old blogs as far as this is possible in English
Some of the Dutch readers might recognize the story from earlier times, but do not worrie; I will write new blogs in between as well.
I think that some of the stories worth it to be translated.

The Old Sailor,