Dear Bloggers,
“This wasn’t supposed to happen! Tell me why
this has happened!” These are the spoken words of countless bereaved parents
and boy or girlfriends that had a great day out in the old town of Brugge.
Travelling by ship to the main land of Belgium. Townsend Thoresen was well
known by lorry drivers and regular travelers that numerously crossed the
channel with these ships throughout numerous years mostly foot passengers
travelled for one pound due to an ad in The Sun — a never-ending and always
present wound in the Souls of those who have buried their loved ones. After
nearly 38 years, I returned to the place where the disaster with the Herald of
Free Enterprise occurred. And the moment will never leave your brain many first
responders have still some mental scars from this.
Disasters such as hurricanes, earthquakes,
transportation accidents, or wildfires are typically unexpected, sudden, and
overwhelming. For many people, there are no outwardly visible signs of physical
injury, but there can be nonetheless an emotional toll. It is common for people
who have experienced disaster to have strong emotional reactions. Understanding
responses to distressing events can help you cope effectively with your
feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, and help you along the path to recovery. And
we are easily forgetting about the rescue teams that have to live with all the
things they have seen and heard. The endless sounds of sirens and alarms that
are going of constantly. These memories are hard to deal with for many and some
of them cannot cope afterwards and get mentally stuck and some even take their
own lives.
What are common reactions and responses to
disaster?
Following disaster, people frequently feel
stunned, disoriented or unable to integrate distressing information. Once these
initial reactions subside, people can experience a variety of thoughts and
behaviors. Common responses can be:
- Intense
or unpredictable feelings. You may be
anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, or grief-stricken. You may also feel more
irritable or moody than usual.
- Changes
to thoughts and behavior patterns. You
might have repeated and vivid memories of the event. These memories may
occur for no apparent reason and may lead to physical reactions such as
rapid heartbeat or sweating. It may be difficult to concentrate or make
decisions. Sleep and eating patterns also can be disrupted—some people may
overeat and oversleep, while others experience a loss of sleep and loss of
appetite.
- Sensitivity
to environmental factors. Sirens, loud
noises, burning smells, or other environmental sensations may stimulate
memories of the disaster creating heightened anxiety. These “triggers” may
be accompanied by fears that the stressful event will be repeated.
- Strained
interpersonal relationships. Increased
conflict, such as more frequent disagreements with family members and
coworkers, can occur. You might also become withdrawn, isolated, or
disengaged from your usual social activities.
- Stress-related
physical symptoms. Headaches, nausea,
and chest pain may occur and could require medical attention. Preexisting
medical conditions could be affected by disaster-related stress.
How do I cope with this?
Fortunately, research shows that most people are resilient and over time are able to bounce back from tragedy. It is common for people to experience stress in the immediate aftermath, but within a few months most people are able to resume functioning as they did prior to the disaster. It is important to remember that resilience and recovery are the norm, not prolonged distress. There are a number of steps you can take to build emotional well-being and gain a sense of control following a disaster, including the following:
Give yourself time to adjust. Anticipate
that this will be a difficult time in your life. Allow yourself to mourn the
losses you have experienced and try to be patient with changes in your
emotional state.
Ask for support from people who care about
you and who will listen and empathize with your situation. Social
support is a key component to disaster recovery. Family and friends can be an
important resource. You can find support and common ground from those who've
also survived the disaster. You may also want to reach out to others not
involved who may be able to provide greater support and objectivity.
Communicate your experience. Express
what you are feeling in whatever ways feel comfortable to you—such as talking
with family or close friends, keeping a diary, or engaging in a creative
activity (e.g., drawing, molding clay, etc.).
Find a local support group led by
appropriately trained and experienced professionals. Support
groups are frequently available for survivors. Group discussion can help you
realize that you are not alone in your reactions and emotions. Support group
meetings can be especially helpful for people with limited personal support
systems.
Establish or reestablish routines. This
can include eating meals at regular times, sleeping and waking on a regular
cycle, or following an exercise program. Build in some positive routines to
have something to look forward to during these distressing times, like pursuing
a hobby, walking through an attractive park or neighborhood, or reading a good
book.
When should I seek professional help?
If you notice persistent feelings of distress
or hopelessness and you feel like you are barely able to get through your daily
responsibilities and activities, consult with a licensed mental health
professional such as a psychologist. Psychologists are trained to help people
address emotional reactions to disaster such as disbelief, stress, anxiety, and
grief and make a plan for moving forward. To find a psychologist in your area,
I did work on myself over more than 35 years. Lately I went for psychological help
and I went back to where it all happened. 37 years after there are hardly any
traces left of the things that have been printed in my brain forever. The night
before I went there my brain was going back to the dark and cold night on the 6th
of March.
The searchlights in he sky and the screaming
and crying people in the helicopters and ambulances. The Belgian army guys and
firefighters and the Red Cross people who all worked with everything in their
powers. It was like a bad and totally crazy movie in my head and I was in doubt
if I should go there. Somehow there was something that calmed me down and told
me this will bring you towards closure.
It will still take some time before I can say this is over.
Although slowly but surely I will get there.
The Old Sailor,
