How crazy can I be?

Dear Bloggers,

Last Friday I had a gentleman on the bus who had a difficulty with his speech, no problem in this case as I had a waiting time of more than twenty minutes. We talked about what had happened to him and how difficult this was feeling. He suffered from a brain trauma and lost a lot of his normal abilities and some people called him a nut as he rides on a special bike. He could not recall to his life that he had lived before and his memory gives only some flashbacks that he could put into place, he carries a picturebook with him to recognize his own kids and wife. And that must be terrible (unless you’re having a horrible wife and kids) After his story I drove back home and tears were running down my cheeks overthinking his emotional plea.

Once again I realized how lucky I have been when I tumbled down the stairs a few years ago and got my brain got fully shattered. We just bought this house and we had just moved in. That evening we just brought our daughter to bed and my wife was just pregnant from the second one. When I was on my way down I slipped on the top of the staircase. When I was picked up again by the ambulance personel and rushed of to the hospital I slowly came around again.I felt a sharp pain in my head. Before I knew what was happening I heard a loud high tone in my head and I had trouble with my balance and my hearing. I remember the moment that I was falling, but don’t recall hitting the ground or the wall whatever came first.

I lay unconscious on the floor until my wife called me. I woke to find people hovering around me, pinching me to get any reaction. They were asking me questions, and although I could hear them I was unable to respond normally. As talked with a double tongue. I was told that an ambulance was on the way, but I thought it was completely unnecessary and that I would be fine in a few minutes.The ambulance arrived and took me to hospital and all the initial tests were clear. My partner arrived and I said to her that I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Luckily a doctor ordered a brain scan, which is normal when they found trouble in my brain. The neck collar was bathering me the most as the expected that I had broken my neck.

From that moment on I felt like I was floating near the ceiling, looking down at myself, watching everyone rush around me. I was taken to another part of the hospital, where I had a neurologist waiting for me. Everything changed then and there.

My doctor informed my family that I had suffered from a cerebral contusion. Two days later I went downhill quickly. A neurologist advised my family and partner that the brain had been shattered that much and that my character might have changed and that I could be angry and frustrated. As I might suffer having trouble with finding words, mixed up thoughts and not being able expressing myself, memory loss could also give extra frustration.

I underwent multiple tests to monitor my progress, and I lived with a tremendous amount of pain. I pleaded with my partner to take the pain away, and told her that I would have rather died. She just kept telling me that each day would get better, and that I just had to keep fighting.



After the worst was over, my slow recovery began. I was in care for three days, and as my rehabilitation seemed to go well, I was send home to recover slowly to the normal me again as it was not that bad as they thought. But I did not feel at home at all as there was a strange driver at the wheel, so to say the captain of this ship went overboard and missing. I cried almost every day; the feeling of helplessness was awful. For the first three weeks I couldn’t stand for a long time and when I walked I was out of balance and I fell over my right side for a few times I lost some of my muscle definition. For the first few weeks after that it felt like my body had forgotten how to walk and I was dizzy all the time and very heavy headed.

But as the weeks passed, I realised I could only keep getting better. I still have down days, I still cry over nothing and I’ll forever be asking “Why?”, but then I remember that eight years ago I was almost dead, and today I’m almost back to normal. I still get tired easily and don’t sleep well, which are common symptoms of a brain trauma injury. I also get headaches every now and then. Unfortunately the brain injury has left me permanently missing parts of my character and calculating skills and my walking and balance still deteriorates when I get very tired.

I am one of the lucky ones. I survived. Three months later I was driving again. My brain is still recovering; I’ve been advised it could take many years to completely recover. But now I’ve quit smoking and I stress less. Life is too short and unpredictable.

I still find it strange that I am not suffering from more problems as the man that I talked to never got back to a normal speech again and he has to ride a tricycle as his balance is fully disrupted. I wish I could see inside his real thoughts if he felt lucky or would he have been rather dead? This question is until today still humming in my head :”Why me and for what purpose?”

The other day I saw a bumper sticker that said
“After head injury, life may never be the same.”
How can nine words have so much impact on one’s life. I find it
painful to look back at when life was “normal”. I feel scared when I imagine the future. So, I live one day at a time and sometimes even a minute at a time.

It started in April of 2003 when I had this cerebral contusion. The doctor said the recovery went well. What the doctor didn’t tell me was that I would probably end up with impaired judgment, emotional problems, and would not be the same person that I was before the crash.

The whole family rallied for my recovery. After months of physical therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and eventually work adjustment training, problems were still so intense it was overwhelming. I was improving physically, but my emotions were gone, my love for the two of us was gone and I did not understand what was happening.

I first of all retired on disability and our income dropped € 30.000,- per year and we got more and more trouble to pay the bills. I had to find a better way of making a living again. So I ended up going to work full-time on a ship again.

Besides the tremendous burden of dealing with a person that felt himself a husband and father before. But now I was physically and emotionally impaired, the family did not have enough income to live on. So, I ended up getting more and more physical problems at night.

I left the old me behind and tied to get in line with this new me. And it is tough to deal with a father and husband who is full of anger, has emotional outbursts, did not care about what ever happened to him. Thinking back, I know I did not do the right thing, and I worry about the impact that this had on my oldest child.
But at the time, I was just trying to survive – buy food and make the house payment.
Life suddenly became an endless struggle. There was not time to relax, just visit a friend or to enjoy life with the children. Our family life had turned into “daily survival.”
I have been told we are lucky – that I am better than some.
What lies ahead, I don’t know. But please I am not asking you to feel sorry for me.

I live at home but there is not much of love around. She doesn’t put her arms around me any more, I don’t ask her how she is feeling. I get scared thinking of my marriage as it has lost it’s bloom next thing that might happen might be being alone. The world considers me married – but am I? I don’t fit with the single men; I don’t fit with the divorced men. But no one seems to take care of me. Most of the time I am able to deal with this – but sometimes I feel lonely and scared.

The marriage as I had known it, ceased to exist. I had lost not only my best girlfriend and companion, but the best years of my life had been erased.

The Old Sailor,

I don't want to be a weatherman

Dear Bloggers,


When I got up today I turned on the radio and during my breakfast I listened to the weatherforecast. It must be a depressive job, I think only predicting rain and here and there a little bit of sunny spells. The rain is really pooring down and my garden turned into a swamp.

I give myself plenty of extra time heading out this morning. Numerous Flash Flood Warnings are in effect and rainfall rates of 3-5 centimeters per hour are occurring over our region.The ground is saturated and streams, creeks and rivers are spilling over their banks. Street flooding and road closures are numerous and mass transit has cancellations or delays because of the flooding.


Mud and flood waters closed parts of some villages as the roads are flooding eventhough the higways and roads have not the biggest problems but several roadworks are giving some detours. Driving through flood waters is not very smart as you don’t know what lies underneath; this is a very dangerous situation!

Since Monday, over 30 centimeters of rain have fallen in parts of the Dutch Delta. All of this rain is a combination of remains of Tropical Storm Irene combined with a slow moving cold front. The large and persistent storm system will continue to spin over our region today and the Flood Watch has been extended through this morning. The Delta works are being watche closely to make sure live behind the dikes is save.

As of 6 a.m.this morning, heavy rain and thunderstorms continue to come over our region again. Raining is the biggest concern at the moment and I must admit it is pretty boring to see nothing else then rain. Many parts of the Netherlands have areas of heavy rain moving over the same region in a relatively short period of time, producing excessive rainfall amounts which often lead to flash flooding. Some had nothing else but rain all summer long.

Rain chances will stay with us through the weekend, but there will be dry weather and sunshine as we head into early next week. Let us hope that the weathermen are right this time as this part of the world needs to dry up a little bit.

The Old Sailor,

End of the summer holidays

Dear Bloggers,

As it is the last weekend before the summer holidays are ending and the kids are getting ready for going to school again. We did all the lousy work as placing covers around the school books and buying stuff that you would need this coming semester. It has been a long summer this year as in 90% of the days rain was pooring down in large amounts that even streets flooded.

 

Show me any parent of young children and I’ll show you a person breathing a massive sigh of relief today that the six-week break is finally over. Some may even crack open the bubbly tonight to celebrate surviving what has become an almost impossible mix of childcare juggling, stretching the household budget to the breaking point, to simply tuning out to the constant moans of “I’m bored”.

Add into the mix more than one child and a parent will need to have developed the skills of an UN negotiator as the fight for boundries and territory for brothers and sisters, they intensify dramatically when school’s out for the summer.




Yes, six weeks can be a very long time when there’s youngsters to entertain. I am one of those parents that is constantly in the midlle of this unfair war called summer holiday. Running around through the trenches of battling kids that are trying to fill their days with silly things.

For working parents the need to find temporary childcare during working hours is not just expensive but far from easy to organise as grandpa and grandma are fun for a few days but after that they are also boring. If you are so lucky that your childcare is well organised the kids will find other ways to get your attention by nagging that we are never doing anything fun. And for those that are in the luxury position that they can be at home there is the constant demand for something to do. And that is not easy to think up things that are not that expensive or even free as most budgets are limited


Now I am a firm believer in the great outdoors and the limitless amusement to be had from letting your imagination run wild. But with the best will in the world today’s youngsters are not the greatest at making the most of these open and, more importantly, free commodities. And to be fair parents, in a world which appears to have more potential for harm, are not that great at letting them.

Most families will also want to share at least one special treat over the summer, if not one a week, and that is far from cheap. For example take the cinema. After Christmas the summer is the key time when most family blockbusters are released but with new 3D technology, taking a family of four can cost almost €60. That’s a fair old dent in the household budget and one which few can afford.



In fact there are not many family friendly attractions – A bit of a funpark charges you approx. €25 per person and than you need something to eat and to drink during the day. although bravo to the smaller funparks as they have normal entrance fares like €7,50 per adult and half price for kids up to the age of 15. Also Qbuzz public transport service in my part of the country adults pay the full price of €6 and take two kids for free up to the age of 11 a great ride for a bit of promotion. At least some kind of helping hand is needed for those who will have been tearing their hair out two days after the summer term ended. And that’s no exaggeration.

Attending a summer fair on the weekend after the schools broke up I was chatting to two mums who were watching their collective brood, five between them, run among the stalls like wild animals before they are taking over the bouncy castle in what can only be described as a frenzied attack. The best example of those battlegrounds that I desribed earlier in this blog.



One looked to the other with that what I thought was an “ahh factor” face only for it to dissolve into clenched fear while she joked in an almost whisper: “Good job I have a stocked up on wine because something tells me I am going to need it over the next few weeks.” Hmmm....living the great outdoors live and being half pissed all the time.

I really doubt she was alone in having that thought at the beginning of the summer.

The new term – it’s definitely good news for some.

The Old Sailor,

The women of my past.

Dear Bloggers,

Today my mind just dozed off to the past times again and I was trying to memorize the girls that were in my life and made my heart bounce got butterflies in my stomach and eventually most of them broke it. It became a heart with many cracks and my road of love was quite bumpy. Strange enough I never found the answer why they actually left me. I did not have a lot of steady relationships, funny enough I do not have any pictures of the girls that I was with for a longer time. But I still remember the days that my heart broke and my ego got a dent. Until now I am still married to the same women that I call my wife......but is she still interrested in me. You see that I am still in doubt.

Are you still getting strange vibes from the girl that you are with? Or do you feel that she just doesn't seem to care anymore although she does not say it to you? Well there are certain things men do which make women lose interest in them with time. You see but the worst part about this whole deal is that you are getting dumped. Some women would just dump you when they start losing interest in you therefore it is very important to figure out when she's losing interest so that you can work on it and save yourself from getting dumped. Read on to discover these little known ways...



She doesn't laugh at your jokes anymore- Have you had this feeling that no matter how hard you try your jokes are simply not funny to her anymore even when they are funny to other girls? Well if this is the case than she is losing interest in you.

She says she'll call you but never calls- This is another way which proves that she is losing interest in you. You see she would intentionally or unintentionally not call you even when she said she would.

She is always busy all of a sudden- When she starts to lose interest in you she would start finding other things which do interest her. Under this situation she would cut back on the time you spend with her and would always appear busy.

She starts talking about other guys around you- Now this is the worst possible situation you can ever be in as she is not only losing interest in you she is looking for other interesting males and get rid of you.

I all based these on my own experiences. What you don't know yet. Have you as a male ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women?



Take up this challenge men. You conform to a woman that you are really engrossed in. You have an awesome conversation with her, and she even assents to go out on a date with you. Lastly, it seems that your luck is changing in relation to your romantic life! So you're all pumped up about being with her, and you really want to ensure that you make a good notion. You do everything that you hear women saying that they want a guy to do for them.

You take her out to fantastic restaurants, you buy her things, you shower her with compliments and you practice impeccable manners such as: opening the door for her, being a good listener, returning calls, and even calling her every day to convey to her how much you enjoy having her in your life...In the beginning it might be right but do not forget to show your real self.

Why do Women Lose Interest?



Nice is Not Attractive

Woman's natural fascination instinct and how it is what unconsciously determines who she considers to be datable or just companions.

Remember that a woman's attraction instinct is genetically developed to cause her to gravitate towards a man who will meet up with her basic need for safety and security.

So why is she with him?

Given that he makes her feel safe, and that makes him attractive. This does not mean that women are drawn to men who are disrespectful and who mistreat them. But if it's between a nice, soft and sensitive guy and a rough, slightly bad boy... who do you think is going to make her feel safer? Who would you rather carry into battle with you? As counter intuitive as this might sound, it's significant to remember that a person's raw subconscious desires are often unthoughtful and many times completely contradictory to their conscious reasoning.



Just think about all the people who you know that wish to find a better job, lose weight, save money, flirt with women or go after some other goal but they just can't bring themselves to get started.This breakdown to take action is influenced by some kind of a subconscious passion for comfort or safety. After all, most people, both men and women alike, even choose comfort and safety over their own bliss.

This is a clear case of how a person's subconscious hopes drive their actions, while their "beliefs" and their utterances seem to be telling a thoroughly different story. Is it outset to become clear to you why women aren't enticed to "nice" guys, in spite of what they might be telling you?



I still find it hard to understand women. And I still struggle with the question: “why I got dumped” by these women I loved with all my heart. It also has my damaged my confidence quite a bit. And I had almost given up hope to ever start a relationship again, when I met my wife I was nearly five years single as I had totally given up on women.

A broken heart is one of the greatest cruelties that excists.

The Old Sailor,

A day on the lake

Dear Bloggers,


Last friday I had a day off and the neighbors of my inlaws asked if we would join them on a boat trip on the Frisian lakes and watch the final of Skûtsjesilen on the lake (Sneekermeer). Of course as an old sailor I said yes that would be great eventhough the weather forecast predicted rainshowers, my wife was panicking a bit as our youngest daughter should wear a lifejacket. I did not see any problem there as she has her swimming diploma A and the waters are quite shallow in this area.

A skûtsje (pronounced 'skootshuh') is a Frisian sailing boat of the tjalk type, originally an ordinary cargo boat, but today a prized ship and one of the icons of Frisia (Friesland, or Fryslân in Frisian). Skûtsjes were built from the 18th century until about 1930, 12 to 20 m long and on average 3.5 m wide, with a maximum of 4 m (based on the standard dimensions of Frisian bridges and locks).


Skûtsjesilen
Originally an old tradition between cargo skippers, skûtsjesilen has now become a sport. Every Summer the skûtsjes meet to race each other, and much store is set by winning, as the victor will be famous all over Fryslân. Many skûtsjes are supported by villages or municipalities (financially as well, for this is not a cheap hobby!) and sail for the honour of their home town.

The regatta season was opened this year, on one of the smaller Frisian lakes. More to find in Dutch on http://www.skutsjesilen.nl/ Eventhough it was not that gorgeous weather loads of rain and pretty strong wind gusts – during the contest some of the days had to be cancelled. Some were to windy others whitout any wind at all. The race on the Sneekermeer promised a good game as the winds were shifting all the time and a windforce 3 to 5 was there. Although some wished for stronger winds - a splendid time was what we had by all. Neighbor Klaas explained a lot about wind and how you should sail in thes circumstances to my oldest daughter. (she really learned a lot and found the game even more interesting than before.) His wife Jeltje served coffee, soup and breadrolls, we had a very relaxed day.


The Eurokotter 9.50 picture used from http://www.vofhelfferich.nl/

When we got on board, I felt as if I’m the only one chartering an unknown destination. (Yeah, right.) With the cool breeze enveloping me, I close my eyes, grip the sides of the boat and wish that the destination is worth all the troubles that I have at the moment anyway. It is hard for me to except that I am from now on a diabetic and that I should lead a regular life. It is hard to change your life without any stress as everything in your life is turned upside down. I try to enjoy the boat trip as much as I can and after half an hour I start to relax and enjoy the unpredicted beauty of todays weather, nature is gorgeous anyway and the water is pretty calm.

By the time the boat reaches the calm portion of the lake, I thought a smooth ride would finally start. But then the engine starts to power up. The skipper hands the wheel to one of the people that never sailed before and teaches them how to manouvre on the lake between the other boats and what the rules are. Even my wife took the wheel on the return journey and sailed us back into calmer waters. Not all of them are skilled skippers. I felt pretty scared as we ran pretty close to the shore and I had no influence on the steering skills as i was not the skipper, but the reminder to relax gave me an assurance that the situation is under control.



After few adjustments of the skipper, it finally got better. My fear dissipated and I went back to closing my eyes and gripping the side of the boat. A few minutes later, I got a cup of coffee and a good conversation with the skippers wife, now I was sitting comfortably. My eyes were widely open and my hands were loosely positioned at the sides. I started to enjoy the ride. We talked about the boat as it is a lovely little ship with plenty of space. Klaas and his companion are building these ships themselves as it is his daytime job. To give an impression have a look on their website Eurokotter.nl If I had the money I absolutely would have bought one. Maybe in the near future when we have sold our house and I would have a more steady job I can do this. I totally fell in love with the steady sailing and the spacious envirnment of this ship.

I tried to do what the others do; I opened my eyes and loosen up a bit, but my mind is playing games with me. Relaxing is hard work at the moment. Then I saw the beautiful clear line that divides the muddy brown and dark bluish color. I started seeing other boats of different sizes manned by brave men or women. I saw on the shore a few fishing man who caught a big fish, the numerous fans that man the shores to watch the final day of the competition, all the other boats that are anchorred that we are passing by and the crashing of waves against the shoreside.

After an hour of rolling with the waves, we were finally closing in on the spot were we should anchor. The skipper gave me instruction to hold on as he will drop the anchor his wife mans the wheel and I have the lookout position for the other boats at our stern. The skipper has a lot of knowledge about the grounds underneath the ship when he drops the anchor it only takes a few minutes to put the boat in position. As we are only layin on one anchor point the boat drifts around on the wind. When our neighbors behind us run a few metres of extra anchor chain we have nothing that is in our way. After the Skutsjesilen is done we have another cup of coffee and get ready to go on our home journey, after an hour we arrive in the harbour and lay the boat in it’s dock. We say goodbye and thank them for the wonderful trip and drive home. I had a splendid day out and my kids enjoyed the sailing as well.

The Old Sailor,

For what?

Dear Bloggers,

Today I will write about so called senseless violence, it is one of the items that kept my family busy after the horrible news from Norway on 22th of July. We wandered what happens to person that can get so violent without any regrets killing a large amount of people. The attacks on the Twin Towers in New York came out of nothing and without any pre warnings. Several years ago Meindert Tjoelker was kicked to death by a group of drunk guys only because he was telling them that heir behavior was inappropriate. There might be more cases but for me these are stuck in my memories as matters of senseless violence.

One of the problems with any reflection on absurd forms of violence in society is that these thoughts can never be, from a scientific point of view, truly interesting and technical. Before we know it, moral and political considerations and emotions sneak in and objective thought will be overruled by, for example, the indignation over the nature and amount of that violence. For if you start to think about violence, you will soon feel highly involved and at the same time completely powerless. Even if we should be inclined to choose violence in certain cases, when it comes from ourselves, when it is not the raw violence of nature and looks like reasonable action, it always turns out to be bigger and stronger in its consequences and its emotional implications than the one who unleashes violence or approves of it. Merely by thinking about it it is taken out of our own hands.

No matter what we think or how passionately we want to denounce violence as vulgar, immoral or inefficient, it will still occur time after time and we are never neutral bystanders, like when observing the behavior of chickens on a lawn or dogs in the street. Our words are filled with emotions and prejudices. Therefore, I want to restrict my reflection on to a couple of words, with which we appear to try and make sense of an occurrence on which we apparently, despite all of our pretenses, have as little influence as on the weather, but which fascinates us, either annoyingly or amusingly, in a much higher degree.



The quite recent combination of words “senseless violence” mostly seems to relate to something that we, if it did not sound as cynical, could call recreational violence, eventhough it happens in small groups that will kill an innocent guy by kicking him to death as he would try to stop them from demolishing a bicycle, or a large group called supporters which appears predominately around soccer-fields, in amusement halls with violent war games and in so-called action movies, hence on the fringes of social life. But how large, how infectious and how determining of our culture is the contribution of this type of violence as a spectacle in television shows and other forms of relaxation on which we spend a large part of our free time? (My wife is a big fan of these what I call “Murder and manslaughter tv series”.) Do I have an excorsist in the house?



The combination of words “senseless violence” seems to have been specifically invented to qualify this pointless violence as a derailment or at least a singular occurrence, in order to not too suddenly and quite radically, exclude the possibility of a human violence that might be called “sensible”. That not senseless, but efficiently and prudently used violence would be in our control from beginning to end, and a predictable and positive outcome could be expected: order, security, and peace.

Seen from this perspective, the expression “senseless violence” has to create a space for the belief that another, perhaps efficient, meaningful and permissible unleashing of violence might be possible. Taking the soccer game as an example again. There are complaints that some parents being so fanatic that they scare their own children as their fanatism will end up into an escalation of violence as an exercise in power by the lower less responsible persons and that can prevent that by slogans like “soccer is war” a spiral of spectacular, but meaningless recreational violence will start.



Along with more power, the means not only have to be greater in number, but also more effective, and they have to appear less like the force of an aimless explosion, the raw violence of a hurricane or the unrestrained behavior of a rowdy crowd. A government that does not have these available, is not superior and has no more say than any random club.

The result of violence is always characterized by a hail of unintended, incalculable and destructive side-effects sensible, unless of course we read the word “goal” as something military and war-like, “hit” as the destruction of this goal and “use” as the unleashing of every random force that we do not control. In this way, the guillotine could be regarded as an effective mean for relieving headaches, or pulling all teeth as an adequate means against biting nails. (there is a dark sense of humor needed here.)

Seeing a proof of superiority in this seems a bit shortsighted to me: it is rather a manifestation of impotence or inability to link adequate and carefully dosed means. At best we can say that in certain circumstances in a somewhat ritual way we have reserved the authority to exert this impotence or the threat thereof and necessitated ourselves to leave out the, in this context painful, qualification senseless. But the question is wether this is more than a mere verbal and ritual exercise that does not change a thing about the situation itself.

There seem to be at least two reasons why we speak in such hidden terms about all kinds of violence, including that of the government. One is that a start of violence or a display of superiority can cause a shock that may bring people to their senses. (Just think about what happened in Oslo and on Utoya or less recent the 9-11 attacks.)



If you, for example, want to quiet a boisterous crowd, you sometimes have to quickly produce a higher volume of sound than the bothersome murmur you intend to override. This will increase the total disorder, but still the expectation can be that silence will be its effect. There are reasons to believe in temporary violence and in the logic of something like a warning shot.

A second reason not to radically rule out every form of violence as a means has to lie in the fact that to this form of active performing there seems to be but one alternative, i.e. standing by powerlessly. But that alternative has to be rejected more forcefully according the measure in which the organization that would decline from performing it is ascribed greater power or authority.

And if you are supposed to have all capabilities, you will always be guilty when you stand by powerlessly. In an activist culture, one that for the greater part is a culture of violence disguised as sport, as expression, as display of power or as spectacle rather than a culture of peaceful technique and of adequate and subtle means, standing by powerlessly or even the acceptance of powerlessness is always regarded as reprehensible. In the phraseology of that culture it is always better to do something than to do nothing at all or, in military terms less familiar to me: it is better to miss or even obliterate the goal than not to shoot at all. This will inevitably lead to absurd situations.



Even if peace would be no more than the absence of war and violence (but how will we ever know?) and even if it has to be maintained by a power that keeps itself in the background, it would still be preferable as a form of civilization to the outbursts of barbaric violence which we have to witness, happening to our shame, time and time again and on all fronts.

I wish that there would be no more victims of senseless violence but this probably an impossible dream.

The Old Sailor,

My sweet life is ending

Dear Bloggers,

Yesterday morning I had to consult my doctor due to some earlier done bloodtests as my hands have been painful all day long for the last three months. When I phoned two weeks ago for the results the doctor’s assistant advised me to make an appointment after his holidays as there were some matters to discuss about my bloodtest. Today was the day that I made the step into his office, the results kind of overwhelmed me as many wheels had to be set in motion from today on.



My new hobby as I cannot eat them anymore

I was diagnosed as a diabetic type 2 and my cholesterol levels were to high as well. Unfortunately I was not that surprised as diabetics are quite common in my family and I knew that my chances were reasonable to become a diabetic. Still when the doctor tells you this it is a bitter pill. I need to lose weight to get a better Hemoglobin a1c count as this was far too high. F*** my day was spoiled but on the other hand there was an explaination for a lot of funny symptoms that I developped the last few months. This is what he told me and actually warned me for.

Type 2 diabetes is a condition where blood sugar levels are too high because the insulin producing pancreas tires and insulin can no longer effectively store sugars in the body. Persistently elevated blood sugars can result in numerous complications such as blindness, kidney disease and nerve damage. Studies have shown that there is a correlation between type 2 diabetes and obesity (that explains a lot to his royal fatness). The cornerstone of diabetic management is through dietary changes, exercise and weight reduction.


A specialized nurse will make report of my body skills

Chances are that if you have been diagnosed with diabetes, my doctor recommended that I should change my diet, exercise more and lose weight. A way to find out how many calories I need to meet in my weight loss goals I need to visit a specialised nurse who wil explain me what to do diet wise exercise and how to change my lifestyle and how to use the calorie calculator!

It sounds easy when you put it like that, but the truth is that weight loss is not easy and your complete rythm of life will be turned around. The benefits of losing weight are numerous and for the diabetic patient it means better glucose control and fewer diabetic complications. The good news is that even a modest reduction in weight can have significant effects on your sugar readings. While most patients do not need to be convinced of all the benefits of maintaining a healthy weight, it is sometimes difficult to find motivation and stick with a plan.


My diabetes will be monitored for several months after that I have to do it myself.

Many people become overwhelmed and simply want the learn ways to lose weight fast.

Weighing in on Weight Loss Gimmicks
Every patient has different weight loss goals but while the number of pounds that need to be lost may vary, most people agree that they want to know how to lose weight and how to lose belly fat. (my biggest enemy lives on my belly) Unfortunately, there are many different weight loss gimmick plans out there that prey on that very mindset.


This might be the scenario if we do not change my lifestyle
Many of these weight loss methods are expensive and require that you eat purchased foods or drinks. Some of these plans have elaborate ways of keeping track of foods and restricting what you can eat. Other diets sell you special concoctions that promise to help you lose weight while you eat whatever you want. The bad news is that most of these diets are great ways of thinning your wallet and not much more than that.

When I asked him what is the fastest way to lose weight, he answerred my answer isn’t always popular. The bad news is that most of these fast diets and weight loss methods are unreliable and do not keep the weight off for the long term. It’s not difficult because the best weight loss methods involve simple math!

The Secret to Weight Loss is Simple Math!


Weight Loss: Calories In < Calories Out

No Change: Calories In = Calories Out

Weight Gain: Calories In > Calories Out

Pretty straightforward right? It should be no secret that if you eat more calories than you burn, you will gain weight. The same goes for losing weight. Burn more calories than you take in! This doesn’t mean that you have to exercise constantly to burn 2000 calories because your body requires energy just to function.

Check out an online calculator to find out how many calories you burn without exercise. This information will help you to determine the proper amount of calories that you need. If you pay attention to this information and monitor your caloric intake, you will find that watching calories is a powerful weight loss tool.

One of the quickest ways to lose weight and keep it off is to seriously commit to changing your way of thinking about food and exercise. We live in a society that thrives on excess. The food on our plates is no exception. If you think that what is served to you at most restaurants is a serving, you’re sadly mistaken.

Looking for the quickest way to lose weight may sound appealing but the reality is that many of the latest dieting fads will send you on a rollercoaster ride. Losing 1-2 pounds per week is considered safe weight loss. Set small goals with realistic timelines and celebrate these achievements. And my biggest horror is quiting smoking as that means normally gaining weight. My doc said that this is something that is bad for me but I should do that in a later stadium when all the other things are in place and I have suitable rythm again.


My favourite thing to do eventhough it is deadly

For people living with diabetes, reducing your weight and improving your learning more about diabetic diets that work will greatly improve your sugars and hemoglobin a1c blood test. You will also notice an improvement in your blood pressure (that was surprisingly good) and cholesterol. These simple changes can have lasting effects and prevent the progression of complications of diabetes. So let us see what the future will bring.

From today this will be a sugar free blog and for the rest things will be the same as always.
 The Old Sailor,

How do you deal with your environment

Dear Bloggers,

Last week we were watching a local TV soap they talked about environmental problems My youngest daughter all of a sudden spread her eyes wide open and said to me. “If they keep on doing this we will all get killed”. I gathered her into my arms. How could I soothe my daughter? I couldn’t picture myself saying: Don’t worry honey, when we’ve destroyed everything there is nothing else left than to die. I wondered, were other kids of her age also scared? Were we on the edge of disaster? I had to find out.



I started reading articles on the environment and talked to colleagues what their ideas were on these problems. Let me share what I found and figured out.

First, my daughter is not the only one being scared, many children are. A study found that 51 percent of children ages 9 to 17 were “very worried about harming the natural environment.”

Why are children so worried? So pessimistic? I believe that it’s because they are inundated with scary stories about environmental disasters like global warming, the growing ozone hole, the disappearing rain forest, and the loss of endangered species. Many leaders of the environmental movement believe that human beings have no more personal value than a hydrangea bush. But we are different from the beasts and plants.


Once your children understand their role in life on this planet, we can find small and practical ways for your family to be good stewards of our world hat we are living in. Here are ten suggestions to get you started:

1. Spend free time outdoors. As a family, take a walk in the forest or meadow. Observe the animals, plants, and insects. Look for animal tracks in the wet mud along a riverbank or in the forest. Learn about the flora and fauna in your area so you can understand how to work together with nature.

2. Recycle your bottles, cans, paper, and plastic bags. Older children can sort recyclables; younger ones can bag newspaper.

3. Start a simple compost pile. Our family composts leaves, grass, and yard clippings, but you can also compost fruits and vegetables.

4. Organize projects to pick up litter, plant trees, or do other projects to enhance the recreation areas in your neighborhood.




5. Kids who like detective work can trace the path of rain water in your neighborhood. Local maps show rivers and streams are running. You can visit local streams to see which way the water flows.

6. Consider making a wildlife habitat in your backyard or school yard. It is good fun to create a habitat for butterflies, hummingbirds, and other small creatures. Nature is very interesting for kids if you know what lives in your neighborhood.

7. Consider buying a living Christmas tree. Many nurseries sell trees growing in large pots. Living trees can be used for several years, then planted in your yard or local park. (If you are allergic to them like my family a good artificial tree will stand for more then fifteen years, if you handle it with care.)

8. Bike or walk instead of driving the car. You’ll help the environment by saving gas and oil–and you get free exercise.

9. Resist our culture’s consumer mentality by teaching your children to take care of their toys. Buy quality toys and encourage your children to do the same when they spend their allowance or birthdaymoney. Clean and repair old toys together, then recycle them at a yard sale or give them to a charity rather than throwing them away.

10. Work for a fair and balanced environmental legislation. Together with school, consider assigning this type of work to the older children. They’ll learn about the legislative process and what might be wrong in it. Think up a plan how to make a better place to live and how to find the money for it. Yes even kids can write letters to their local politicians and newspaper. Just to give them ammunition against those who would accuse them of not caring about the earth.



Finally, Let your children know that the environment is cleaner today than it was 25 years ago. If you’re old enough to remember, tell them what it was like in the 1970s when many of our cities were blanketed by dirty brown smog due to industrial polution. Communicating a sense of progress will give them hope. Let them know that environmental organizations often exaggerate problems to keep people focused on the problem and get them motivated to help.

Schools can be another source of scary stories. If you’re concerned about what your child is learning in school, ask to see the curriculum or confer with the teacher. Many teachers aren’t aware of the tendency to exaggerate environmental problems. By following this approach, you’ll help your child understand how he or she should live and what they can do to help. So the next time they hear about something like the disappearing rain forest, they’ll be able to say, I know that’s a problem, but my family is recycling and we have planted some trees in the neighborhood. And if I follow my ideas with all of my heart, I know that I will take care about the near future for me and my world. If we all would do this the world will become a better place to live.

Make a difference and start in your little part of the world today.
The Old Sailor,

Pick one: Smartphone or Sex

Dear Bloggers,

Hmmmm.......Honey not now I am so tired of Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Hyves

What did I read last week into the Spits? (a free newspaper like Metro being spread in public areas and public transport)". Young people prefer smartphones over sex. Is this really stated there? I have read it three times before it dawned on me. WhatsApp, Facebook and email we like better than one steamy night between the sheets. I feel totally not addressed by this message. What happened to the duplication game? First of all, I have a smartphone but it is just there in case, and secondly, I like the game of love just a tad higher than mobile internet.

Help wanted, many positions available

But so many of us are so attached to the constant internet connection that it is difficult to take distance of it. Of course it is convenient to have your email within reach, when I am on the bus to check the news (of course during my breaks) and if you get lost a route planner to get you back into the right direction. But did you miss it five years ago? Mobile internet has become more accessible in recent years but I don’t miss it at all.

Cell phone with camera and vibrating function

My phone dates back to the era that law enforcers were riding horses and ships were made of wood. For now I'm still not going to admit that I really need to have a smartphone. If I do not know the way I will ask it to someone that passes by, on the bus I read a newspaper and I check my mail when I am at home. Call me old fashioned but I do not have to be online constantly. I do not need 100 different ways to stay in touch.


phoning was not that complicated

Before I was hooked to my good old fashioned Nokia blabberbox, ok it had the measurements of a fridge and was heavy like a army radio set. It was a safe kind of phone and impossible to destroy. (it committed suicide several times by jumping of the shelf on high seas but never had a scratch) All of sudden last year unexpectedly shortly it blew out its last monophonic tones, CPR was to late and in the phone hospital they could only transplant some of the memory into a new phone. I had to say good bye and with pain in my heart exchanged him for for a high-tech smartphone from HTC. I am slowly getting used to it.


We all need a hobby, I have an internet free room

But sweet blog readers, there's nothing like a sultry, passionate and steamy night. I'd rather lie beside a slender blonde with an appetizing figure than I wake up next to a smartphone. So be it that I am not in contact with the outside world for a while. It even appears that a lot of young people need about half of month’s salary to stay online. So we walk just past that sexy blonde or that irresistible man with medium length hair. That is so bloody wrong, and also actually spending a hell lot of money to stay in touch with your friends. Where is the logic part in this?


I only use half of all these functions

I think my opinion is clear! I'm not so dependent on a smartphone that I cannot miss it for two weeks. Sex is not the most important thing in life but it is a great way of spending some free time. What about you? Are you so badly attached to a mobile phone with internet that you have no sex for two weeks about? Hmmm........ I'm curious!

The Old Sailor,

Time is going by pretty fast

Dear Bloggers,

Where has the time gone...it seems like yesterday, the day that you were born, made your fist steps and soon I was sending you off to school for your first day of kindergarten and now you're going to high school...

Just typing those words makes me uneasy and a bit sad. When did my little girl become a teenager? How did this happen so quickly and so covertly?

But more importantly, how do I handle being a dad of a teenage girl and doing a good job at least that is what I hope? Some say it can't be done. Dads and teen girls are just meant to not get along--it is written in the cards, as they say. Strange enough we are having our fights but we are still in speaking terms. No problems there. The fights are heavier between her and her mum.

I am determined to do this teenage thing with her successfully though. But I am scared, what if I fail? What if I fail her? I try to be as reasonable as possible and that is sometimes not that easy.

I worry constantly about her now. I always have, of course, since the day I held her in my arms for the first time. She was then and has always been, fiercely independent. I love this about her, and I am nervous for her because of it.



It is hard to get her to listen to and take advice from me or her mum because of her independent nature. She is less likely to compromise because of this quality. On the other hand she is a very shy and insecure kind of person. And that is a very strange mix. It is kind of scarey this in between woman and child personality.But I hope this characteristics of her personality will also keep her from being easily persuaded by her peers as she gets older and spends more time away from my protective arms (shivers down my spine).

I still see so much little girl in her, she is after all, becoming12, not 16. I want to reach out and grab that little girl that sneaks out once in awhile, does something stupid with a girlfriend, cries when I tell her off and hold her close when she is sad. I see it in her smile when she talks about her latest crush, Ralph Mackenbach (Young dutch artist and goodlooking like Justin Bieber.) I see it in her face when she finds out I am taking her shopping for new clothes. I hear it when she is in her room giggling with her best friend. And it warms my heart. And it makes me sad for I know tides are turning.


Ralph Mackenbach

I see the teenager coming out in her when I catch her looking in the mirror at herself, and not looking happy with the reflection she sees back. (“Sorry for the inconvenience caused by the poor screen quality of this mirror”) I hear it in her voice when she argues with me about school work not interfering with Jazz-dancing (though my point was that jazz-dance was interfering with her school work. See what I mean?) I see the teenage girl in my daughter when she wants the latest issue of Tina a Girlie Magazine, and privacy. LOTS OF PRIVACY.



I am worried about the boys. Not my boys, the other boys that will be coming around soon. I am worried about peer influence, drugs, sex, and boys. I am so scared she will be hurt, confused, and will not come to me for advice as she becomes more a teenager and less a little girl. And the boys. Did I mention I am worried about the boys? (Guys you’ll better be good to her otherwise things might get sore).

I want to hold her tight and not let go until she is, say, about 25. Is that possible?

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future. ~Author Unknown.

The Old Sailor.