She's running me through the emotional washer

Dear Bloggers,

I am probably not the only bloke on earth that has issues in his marriage and therefor the raging fire in me has died out to a minimized glow like charcoal after a night on the barbeque.

Do not see it as complaining about my life in general it has been a rocky road but it was not that bad as we always had eachother. After my wife had some counseling therapy by being offended by her team manager she suddenly started to change and stood up for herself. She got in her first fight with one of her siblings who could not deal with the situation as she gave up on being the weak one and apoligize for something that wasn’t even her fault. But it is hard to change people’s manners after letting them do it for nearly fourty years. The second one that came into the shooting range was our sitter who blew out all the fuses when she implemented that our kids were lieing and cheating to her daughter. She came to talk about it when our daughter was still up. So my wife turned her down and got angry with her and told her too leave. As she struggled back she kicked her out. She was quite surprised by the anger that she had in her. I got the feeling that i am the next one in line. Like many others out there,

 

I originally post about my marriage but from now on it will be my sexless marriage and as I may hope I will receive comforting and thoughtful replies. After reading a lot about how people change after counceling and having lengthy conversations with my wife, I have a greater knowledge and understanding as to what has caused my marriage to be sexless.

Come to find out, there are multiple reasons I am sexless as it is not only her fault there is a lot of it caused by me.

Resentment, she resents me for a few of the financial decisions I've made that have set us back a few years. She is struggling with being able to put these behind her. These seem to be the most engrained issue affecting our relationship. The Tax office is not our friend at the moment as we made a mistake somewhere they want a hell lot of many back.

Low testosterone I recently had blood work done and I am low on testosterone. So far, no problem for me, but somehow it makes me feel dis-comfortable as it gets more and more an obsession to me. I have less and less erotic feelings left as I am only up to one thing and that is disturbing the whole thing, I guess. She got her medication changed to feel better as she is suffering from........... It made her breasts tender to the touch. It caused her to stay in bed one morning as it tyres her out.

Overall she has low desire for me, I just don't think she finds me all that attractive any longer. She did say that I am kind of boring because I never flirt with her. I think that is my own protective buildup from the years of rejection...why flirt with someone that will shut you out when it's supposed to be play time?

I was a Nice Guy, up until a couple of weeks ago, I was the poster child of Nice Guys...there have been books written about me (at least they hit the nail on the head).

Over the course of the past two weeks, I have read three books, The Five Love Languages, No More Mr. Nice Guy and Married Man's Sex Life Primer. She has read the Five Love Languages. We both understand that we each speak a different love language, but just addressing that issue isn't going to solve my problems anytime soon.

Nearly 15 years of marriage, 20 years being together, the sex and overall excitement in our relationship has continued to diminish where I am now absolutely miserable as it currently stands.

She had an appointment this morning for her second set of counselings, but oops...she forgot about the appointment. I asked her if she was going to reschedule and she replied, "yea, but really don't want these kind of therapy." During our conversations over the weekend, when we would touch on an issue where neither one of us had an immediate answer, I suggested she bring that to the attention of her counselor when she next meets with her this coming Frisday. She told me she didn't think she could talk with her anymore. 

So, I ask myself...Am I pushing the issue of our sexless marriage too quickly, all of a sudden out of thin air? Is she feeling overwhelmed with all I have thrown at her the past couple of weeks and need to allow her a bit more time to absorb it all?
Everything came to a head Saturday night, when after a bit of talking and getting a sense of each of us understanding each other a bit better, I mentioned to her I had a desire to do her. She said that would never happen, so I told her if she didn't want to try, I would not press the issue. I accept her not wanting to do it...end of story. 

Well, it should have been the end of the story, but then sometime around 3AM, I wake with some killer heartburn from the things I ate earlier. She is well awake and starts arguing about this and that and that now she has to comply with doing it.......blah, blah, blah. I told her that she already voiced her opinion of it and I have dropped it, never to be mentioned ever again.

But she won't let it go...acting like she has to comply or my sex life won't be fulfilling. I told her it wasn't a big deal...was just a fantasy and it can remain a fantasy, as I have no desire to force her compliance with anything. She is the one with a hangup about it and she should let it go, as she will never hear anything about it from me again. I think she saw this as an angle where she has reason to be upset with me, but since I didn't press the issue, she was attempting to keep it at the surface so there is reason to continue our sexless lifestyle...all because she has a crutch to use against me.

The following morning, I spelled it all out for her...either we resolve our differences and create a loving, caring, fulfilling relationship where we are both happy, or we should divorce and go our separate ways. I refuse to continue our relationship where resentment and lack of desire fill the air. Her first reaction was how she would lose her comforting surroundings and where to put all her furniture, because she would have no place to store them. Another comment in the night before was that I couldn't kick her out to the street corner because she currently does have a  straight job and the half of what we own is hers. Like as if I am stupid and would not know this but am I supposed to feel any sympathy or what???

Basically, at this point, I am waiting on her...sure I have a few things I need to work on, like flirting and being more Alpha, but most is on her to change. She needs to figure out how to let her resentments go...I have already reassured her about my job and that I promised to stay in the working field and not deviate as I had in the past. She needs to get her hormones balanced out...I can't do this for her. How much time is enough time to get these things in order? Do I set a timeline and vocalize it to her, or keep it to myself and just watch the progress, if there is any?

As it currently stands, if there are no improvements/participation on her part, I don't ever see this as fixable. I don't want this to be a thing of me continually hoping things will get better and her using it as a way to hijack my sex life, all so she can continue to be my live-in maid. At least that is how it feels as I am only here to feed some hungry mouths and do some cleaning. Let us see how this will evolve?

The Old Sailor,

How to make neighbor clean up his yard

Dear Bloggers,

We got our house for sale for almost three years as the market is pretty tough at the moment. So we were all excited when there were couple of potential buyers that would come and visit our house and also the house of one of our neighbors. When they saw our neighbors house they saw the mess of his neighbors who's yard is having boundaries with his property. And believe me these rental homes are bringing down our neighborhood with homes who are maximum 15 years of age. Losing money on your investment is always painful but if the home owner is just not doing anything puts me in a warrior state of mind.

When a neighbor has a messy yard, it's likely to affect you in two ways. The first is it's an eyesore and can be bothersome to look at. The second is that it can lower the value of your home as well as the neighborhood. This is particularly true if you are trying to sell a house, and a potential buyer is hesitant to live next to your messy neighbor. Many approaches can resolve this, but the ones you pick will depend largely on the relationship you have with your neighbor and your neighbor's attitude. The pictures I added our not from our neighbors as a lawsuit is still in progress and this might harm our case.

Instructions

Think the subject over, and decide approaches you can employ to get your neighbor to clean the yard. Consider if she has extenuating circumstances, such as an illness, a recently born baby or an extended period in which she was away. Remember some people are just naturally messy. Have a plan. This will help prevent you from approaching the neighbor in an overly emotional and disjointed way.

Try the carrot-over-the-stick approach first. Appeal to your neighbor's better nature, and bring up the subject of his messy yard with a smile on your face. Use a little psychology. Sometimes you can persuade people to do things without their even realizing it. Speak in a friendly and relaxed tone.

Use some commonsense arguments if the nice approach does not work. Say the mess is affecting the value of your property. This will be particularly effective if you have a for sale sign on your lawn. Bring up potential health hazards if the neighbor's yard is littered with garbage or dog poop.

Try some other approaches. Offer to help clean up the yard. Try to get other residents in the neighborhood to talk to your neighbor and join in the effort. The neighbor might be willing to listen to someone else. Offer to help pay to clean up the yard. Some cleanup services will be glad to do it for a price. Bribery might be too strong a word, but people do listen when the subject is money. If a yard is extremely messy, it's possible your neighbor is not cleaning it because it's too daunting a task. If you offer help, your neighbor might look at the job in a different way. Have your real estate agent talk to the neighbor if your house is for sale. This will really drive home the point of the value of your home.

Put your foot down by firmly telling your neighbor the situation has become intolerable. Tell your neighbor that if he does not address the mess immediately, you will go to the authorities. If that still does not work, go to your local government and make it aware of the situation. There are ordinances and zoning codes against dumping and other sanitation violations. The fact that your neighbor could be fined might finally result in some action. Contact the government again if it fails to respond to your complaint.

Be smarter than your neighbor. If the subject of the yard turns into a debate, use indisputable logic.

Don't get in a fight or threaten your neighbor with physical violence. This will only make the situation worse and almost certainly will not result in a clean yard.

How to Report the Negligence of Property Owners

Negligent property owners can drag down your home's value.
Many people have had to deal with messy neighbors and property owners. A neglected property can be an invitation for vermin, crime, and other sanitation issues. On top of it all, an unkempt property in your neighborhood or on your street can drag down the value of your home. With all the properties on the market today, why would someone want to deal with messy neighbors when they could get a house in a neighborhood without the eyesores. Luckily, there are ways to get negligent property owners to own up to their responsibilities. 

Instructions

Start with a direct approach. There isn't always a need to get authorities involved, as you may be able to handle the problem directly with the property owner. If the owner is living on the property, you can approach the owner and voice your concerns in a calm manner. If the owner does not live on the property, try your best to make contact with the person over the phone about the issue. Many times, this is all it will take to have the problem fixed.

Ensure that the person really is the property owner. If the person on the property is actually just a tenant, you have another step before going to authorities. Find out who is renting out the property and contact that person. You can do this through your county's property tax assessor's office. Once you have this information, send a letter to the landlord, including pictures of the negligence for added effect.

Complain to the lender of the property if it is in a foreclosed state. Do not settle for a customer service representative on this one. Make sure you speak with management, and go all the way up to the chief executive officer if that is what it takes. If this isn't giving you fast enough results, go to your state's governmental website and find the police officer who is in charge of your neighborhood.

Enlist help if necessary. If you are in a homeowners association, contact the group and submit a formal request for it to take action. If at this point you are unable to get satisfaction, contact your local village association. Find the number for your local public health department and call the office to explain what is going on. Make sure to take note of all sanitation and safety issues involving the property.

Contact a lawyer if you want to take this even further. A real estate attorney would be best for this. You may be able to sue the homeowners association if it didn't resolve the issue, or the owner of the property. Remember that these cases can drag on and be expensive, so this step should only be used as a last resort.

We are nearly at the last step the neighbor received a court order. Let us hope there will be soon some new response of potential buyers.

The Old Sailor,

Old Sailor on a mission

Dear Bloggers, 

The Old Sailor has become a man on a mission. Since his little girl was diagnosed with a behavior disorder at 8 years of age, together with his wife he has worked tirelessly to get our daughter the best possible intervention. Today we are getting help from some professionals.

You are making a difference just remember this: You are a parent, not a doctor or a scientist.

But, when it comes to your child, you are an expert. You know that little face and whether it lights up when you walk into a room. You know your child's babbling voice and would be the first to notice if it suddenly fell silent. You know how she behaves when she sees a new toy, meets a new child, goes to a birthday party, or visits a shopping mall. You know what makes her cry and what makes her laugh. You've seen children playing in parks and squabbling at family dinners. You've seen her as a baby playing peek-a-boo and playing house. And you wouldn't be a parent if you had not compared your child with other children.

Of course, not every difference is a disorder. Far from it. But if your instincts are telling you something is wrong, that something about your child is quite different from other children or that something essential about your child has changed or become increasingly troubling, your instincts are probably right.You know when something is wrong. Children with anger outburts have parents who are persistently worried about them. So, if you are worried about how your child is reacting and behaving, you should take your worry seriously. It could be a warning sign.Parents have been diagnosing their children from early on. They know it, they feel it. They say it all the time, "I just know something's just not right . . . the way she does this or the way she does that . . ." And they're right, usually.

Some parents whose children are eventually diagnosed with a disorder realize that their children were different as babies. A few notice specific, clear-cut problems; many others have nagging, vague concerns that are harder to express.Other parents see signs accumulate over time or appear suddenly. When doctors ask the right questions, worried parents almost always speak up. And, once their child is diagnosed with a problem, even those parents who do not express their worries at first usually say that they knew "something was wrong." Often they "just burst into tears" when their fears are confirmed.

Still, you may believe that what you know about your child pales in comparison to what seasoned pediatricians, family physicians, and nurse practitioners know about the science of development. If you've taken your child to every routine checkup and gotten a clean bill of health, you may feel that's reassurance enough. Unfortunately, that's not the case. While most health professionals do a good job of assessing physical development and try to measure cognitive growth, far too few know how to assess social and emotional development or how to interpret the early behavioral signs of disorders like for example autism. Some well-meaning doctors ask about these topics, but use the wrong questions. Others rely on their own, too-brief observations. And, unfortunately, far too few children with developmental delays and disorders get the early, intensive help that could put them on a healthier path.

The good news is that you can do something about this. You already know a lot about your child. You are about to learn a lot more about how to assess your child's social and emotional development and how to get prompt help if it's needed. 

The pediatricians take seriously their responsibility to follow a child's development. They are not annoyed or put on the defensive when parents, often armed with questions gleaned from a stack of books or the internet, want to talk about their children's social and emotional development. We were advised to see a specialized group pediatricians and caretakers that are taking tests in a playful way with your child and try to diagnose what the problem might be.
 
We eventually found this more knowledgeable pediatrician. And so can you. Ask other parents and your family physician for recommendations. When you hear of a good prospect, schedule a time to go in and talk with him or her, preferably without your child along. If you choose a practice and later become dissatisfied, try again. This process can be time-consuming, but will be well worthwhile, especially if your child has a problem with behavior. Ideally, you will find a pediatric practice where:

*developmental screening and observation are a routine part of every well-child visit.
*doctors get to know the children under their care. That means that your child usually sees the same physician or nurse practitioner, whether for sick or well visits.
*other staff members are accessible and helpful. Believe me, one helpful receptionist or nurse can make a huge difference should your child need complicated care.

It  all comes down to you. The truth remains that no matter how good your pediatrician is, you are your child's best observer and greatest champion. You are the gatekeeper, the person who stands between your child and the rest of the world, deciding which experiences and people to invite in and which to try to keep out. For parents of typically developing children, being a gatekeeper means choosing the best preschool or the most nurturing nanny. It might mean banning certain TV shows or toys. If that's your situation, you may have to work especially hard to get what your child needs.

For parents whose children turn out to have challenges, being a gatekeeper means all that and much more. It means choosing the people who can best help you and your child to navigate an often uncertain path toward the best possible outcome. It means working with those people to decide what is best for your child, but often making the final decisions yourself. It means becoming a true advocate.
Never forget, you are uniquely qualified. You know more, and care more, about your child than anyone else. All you require is a little more information and a few more skills. So, learn more about why it's so important to act on your concerns and then take action.
Your child is depending on you. 

The Old Sailor,

Allergy or is it an irritant?

Dear Bloggers,

My wife came home this week with hardly any voice left due to the fact that someone sprayed some kind of perfume. The doctor gives her prednisone for a week and this will do the magic. But it is crap that you have to use these kind of heavy drugs when this could be prevented on the work floor.

Just ask yourself the following question: If you sneeze every time you get a whiff of perfume or room deodorizer, you may be one of millions of people with a fragrance sensitivity.

As many as 30 percent of people surveyed in a study said that they find scented products irritating. Those with asthma or chemical sensitivities may find strong scents particularly problematic due to the allergy-like symptoms they cause.

Unlike tree pollen or dander, for example, perfumes and scents aren't actually allergens, they're irritants  but that doesn't mean that they can't trigger allergy symptoms like sneezing.

Hmmmm.....So what's the difference between an allergen and an irritant? In fairly simple terms, a true allergen causes a person’s immune system to release chemicals to fight the invader. On the way to the battle, inflammation could result — eyes could water, nose could fill, and so on.

"An allergen is a protein that is known to cause an IgE-mediated reaction,"

The immune system's response to allergen exposure can be divided into two phases. The first is immediate hypersensitivity or the early phase reaction, that occurs within 15 minutes of exposure to the allergen. The second, or late phase reaction, occurs 4-6 hours after the disappearance of the first phase symptoms and can last for days or even weeks. During the early phase reaction chemical mediators released by mast cells including histamine, prostaglandins, leukotrienes and thromboxane produce local tissue responses characteristic of an allergic reaction.

In the respiratory tract for example, these include sneezing, oedema and mucus secretion, with vasodilatation in the nose, leading to nasal blockage, and bronchoconstriction in the lung, leading to wheezing. During the late phase reaction in the lung, cellular infiltration, fibrin deposition and tissue destruction resulting from the sustained allergic response lead to increased bronchial reactivity, oedema and further inflammatory cell recruitment. These observations suggest that IgE is instrumental in the immune system's response to allergens by virtue of its ability to trigger mast cell mediator release, leading directly to both the early and late phase reactions.

An irritant, on the other hand, doesn’t provoke the immune system. But it has no problem making eyes water or noses run.

It's not understood how or why this happens. "An irritant is a chemical or product that causes symptoms without a known immunologic cause," says Miller, so it does not cause an IgE-mediated reaction.

Only an allergen can cause a true allergy, while "irritants cause sensitivities."

Bottom line: What people call a "perfume allergy" is either fragrance sensitivity or an allergy to some chemical in the perfume.

Symptoms of Fragrance Sensitivity

You can have two types of allergy symptoms due to fragrance sensitivity respiratory, nose and eye symptoms, much like that of seasonal allergy symptoms  or skin allergy symptoms.

Symptoms of fragrance sensitivity can include:

    Headaches

    Difficulty breathing

    Wheezing

    A tight feeling in the chest

    Worsening asthma symptoms

    Runny and stuffy nose

    Sneezing

    A skin allergy like contact dermatitis — an itchy, red rash that appears on the skin

The Rise of Fragrance Sensitivities

People who have asthma may be more sensitive to fragrances and may experience allergy symptoms or worsening asthma symptoms from exposure to perfumes, fragrances, and other chemicals. Although, says Miller, there isn't really an established link between asthma and fragrance sensitivity.

People who already have allergies, like seasonal allergies or allergies to indoor allergens like molds and animal allergens, may be more likely to experience fragrance sensitivities.

“Often patients with allergies are more sensitive to these irritants due to their baseline allergic disease," says Miller. And with more than 50 million Americans dealing with allergies, that's a lot of people at an increased risk for fragrance sensitivity.

Combine that increased sensitivity with a constantly increasing level of irritating chemicals and fragrances that are ever-present in our environment and the things we use every day (over 5,000 types used today), and it's no surprise that fragrance sensitivities are more common than initially believed.

Preventing and Treating Fragrance Sensitivities

If you're dealing with allergy symptoms caused by fragrance sensitivity, there are some things that you can do for relief.

Nasal antihistamine and nasal corticosteroid medications can effectively control allergy symptoms caused by these sensitivities. But the best medicine is really an ounce of prevention and that means keeping all fragrances off yourself and out of your environment.

There just aren't any "safe" fragrances or products that can be recommended for anyone who has experienced allergy symptoms due to fragrance sensitivities.

"Any product with a scent can be irritating to patients," I am suggesting that patients utilize scent-free products if at all possible." That means fragrance-free:

    Lotions

    Soaps

    Skin care products

    Laundry detergents

    Fabric softeners

You should even be cautious with cleaning and deodorizing products that you use at home look for products that don't contain fragrance, which could cause your allergy symptoms.

You may also need to ask your friends, spouse or partner, and co-workers to avoid wearing or using heavily-fragranced products around you to prevent your allergy symptoms.

Of course, there's no hard and fast rule about what you can and can't use  fragrance sensitivity is an individual issue.

"This type of sensitivity can vary among individuals," every case is unique. "In some patients all scents are bothersome, and in others only strong smells [like chlorine] are irritating."

But rather than run the risk of having allergy symptoms from fragrance sensitivity, it's best to be conservative and avoid all products containing fragrance for the best chance at avoiding your allergy symptoms.

The Old Sailor,

Enjoying the Autumn Sun

Dear Bloggers,

Soon the holidays are coming and autumn is all of sudden there. The weather is a bit funny. Some days stormy weather is bashing on your windows and a day later you can walk around in a shirt as it is nearly 20 degrees Celsius. Anyway I am enjoying the beauty of the landscape that is passing by. 

Autumn colours are so beautiful. And this fall we have been blessed with a couple of sunny days and more than only a few rainy ones. The air is getting crisper and you can smell the lit fireplaces through the chimneys. I love that smell. It means winter is on it’s way.

I love autumn, for so many reasons, and yet it invariably manages to make me sad, I find that autumn turns the still pool of my nature to the very dregs, and kicks up all sorts of murky stuff while it is at it. Coals slowly turning into diamonds, the moon is trapped beneath a branch, and, like the coming winter, it can also cut to the bone, winter winds that twist and turn and are hard to evade.

A series of disappointments that a few years ago I would have either sublimated into hard physical work, or run away from, or sunk deep into and found it hard to get out of again.  This year seems to be different.  I am simply sitting with my feelings, even it feels impossible. 

I saw a butterfly today on my morning walk – a red admiral that settled on the muddy footpath, churned and turned by some farm vehicles. It flittered about, close to the earth as though weighed down by care, and couldn’t seem to lift its way up into the open air, and then it settled, opened its wings to the sun and waited. Just waited. And I waited with it. The sun seemed to fill it, to renew it, colours achingly bright on its wings, and then it picked itself up and flew away, looping and twisting over the fields into a new day.

Perhaps that is the lesson that I need to learn here? To open myself to love and pain in equal measure, and trust that whatever happens, the sun will always shine and I will always be able to pick myself up and move on. Autumn proceeds slowly, hedgerows turning golden in the sunlight, berries picked up by the birds as they prepare for winter. Sometimes it is hard to appreciate all this beauty around me, but it is always there, regardless, just waiting for me to see it once again and to know myself a part of it, connected to the land even as my feet walk upon it, my mind is a million miles away.

Accomplished a bit of Sunday cleaning today, vacuumed the house, rinsed the toilet and got myself ready for the evening shift. Last night I lit some candles. When I pulled the curtains as it was dark and wet outside.  “Hmmm....autumn is really here” I said to my wife. “Poked up” our central heating system and during the day I took the water ornaments out of the garden and stowed them in the shed. 

It’s getting too big for me to pack em all up about every year, so it’s going to a new home as soon as we sell this one and hopefully next spring we’ll live in a smaller home. It’s not that I’m getting too old to carry a big ugly chunk of machinery through the house. It’s not that. I just don’t know what is going to come. Maybe we need to change our garden plans. I really don’t have a clue. I see it as a waste of my time and energy.

Fall is settling into Friesland. The sun is lower in the southern sky, too tired to heat things up anymore. It’s cold enough outside that you could wear a jacket without sweating, and yet still warm enough to walk around without a coat at night. I know because we just got back from a nice little walk to the mailbox in the village centre which is just north of here by about ten minutes. There are already a lot of desiccated autumn leaves blowing around and the grass is still green in every yard. 

It is the in between season as we all know that in a couple of weeks this year will come to an end. The holidays are sitting at our front door and the garden is ready again for Christmas as the lights are installed again.

We are ready for the holidays, it is only a couple of weeks away.

The Old Sailor,

Ending my sweet life the second part

Dear Bloggers,

I was asked a couple of times by fellow blog writers to make a part two on my sweet life is ending. It took me a while to produce a sequel on this story. I am now pretty experienced if it comes to my own case.. In the beginning it scared the hell out of me. And yes I probably will not get very old but that doesn’t bather me. I have it pretty much under control and my life is full of imperfections but I am not much of a cry baby and sit in a corner whining. I have a future to live for and I hope one day to play with my grandchildren. Both my my wife and me have health issues and climbing stairs is getting us into trouble. We decided to put our family home on the market and look for something with everything on ground level. My next move after this one will be in a wooden coffin. Let us hope that we have a couple of great years left with the kids at home and if they fly out that they come and see us frequently with their kids.

Hard reality

Once you know the facts, it is hard not to care about diabetes. In the Netherlands alone, 1 million people have diabetes. Approximately 71000 Dutch are diagnosed each year, and a third of all the people with diabetes are unaware they have it. WHO (World Health Organization) has declared that there is an epidemic of diabetes. Worldwide, there are 200 million diabetes patients, not including those who still do not know that they have it. In the next decade, the projected number of known diabetics is expected to reach over 250 million. Because of the small amount of attention that has been paid to the disease despite these alarming numbers, the rise in diabetes has often been called the “Silent Epidemic”. A possible cause for this epidemic has been attributed to changes in modern lifestyle:

• The type of food consumed contains higher numbers of calories and purified sugars;
• The typical meal size has increased; • People are not exercising adequately;
• Higher stress levels, and;
 • An increase in the elderly population.

What exactly is diabetes? There are several definitions of diabetes, but the most commonly agreed upon definition is that diabetes is a condition when a person's ability to metabolize carbohydrates (sugar) is impaired. Basically, blood sugar does not get burned inside the muscles and tissues, but rather stays in the blood. This results in high blood sugar levels. A person with a sugar level above 150 ml/dl in the blood in the morning is diagnosed as ‘diabetic'. Insulin allows the body to convert sugar in the blood into energy. It is secreted by ß (beta) cells in the pancreas. So, in a diabetic, either no insulin or inadequate levels of insulin are being produced. Furthermore, even if insulin is produced in a diabetic, it is highly unlikely that it will be properly utilized.

How can having high blood glucose affect me?
Diabetes is much more than just a relative lack of insulin. In one sense, it is a disease that affects the blood vessels, or capillaries. A high concentration of sugar in the blood from relative lack or sensitivity of insulin is still not completely understood. However, it has detrimental effects on the blood vessels and they gradually cease to function properly. Since every organ or tissue in the body depends upon capillary flow to transmit oxygen and glucose and remove waste products, this eventually leads to end-organ damage. Yes in the end we are all going to die.

 Diabetes can make your vision blurred

As every cell is dependant to a large degree on glucose for its fuel, any impairment in its supply or being able to properly metabolize that glucose will lead to impairment in the function of those cells and organs. Consequently, the tissues that have the highest demand for proper blood flow and utilization are most susceptible to the damage of impaired flow or metabolism, e.g., the kidneys, heart, nerves, retina. A lack of blood flow and oxygen to the tissues can also result in many infections, and often the only treatment left is amputation. A high concentration of sugar can also cause increased fatigue and weight gain. It does not kill instantly, but causes long-term, permanent damage over many years with lethal complications. That is why we often take a lax attitude: slow and gradual but certain and fatal.

What related complications can result from diabetes?
Diabetes is not only the leading cause of kidney failure, but it is also the leading cause of blindness, particularly among patients between the ages of 25 and 70. It also increases the chance of having and dying from cardiovascular disease and stroke. The probability of dying from stroke and cardiovascular disease is increased by 400% in people with diabetes, and 2 out of 3 people with diabetes die from heart disease and stroke. Diabetes also damages the nervous system. Approximately 60%-70% of diabetics have some form of nervous system damage. This is especially a concern for diabetic males because they usually have trouble functioning sexually. Erections involve blood flow and nerves.

Because diabetes causes nerve damage and affects blood flow, many males struggle with sexual dysfunction. The first question doctors ask when a patient complains of erectile dysfunction is, “Do you have diabetes?” According to statistics, more than half of sexual dysfunctions among males come from diabetes. In addition, diabetes is a major risk factor for heart attacks and amputations. Sixty percent of amputations occur among people with diabetes. This means that each year, 82,000 amputations are performed on people with diabetes.

Long John Silver did not loose a leg to diabetes

What is the relationship between diabetes and obesity?
Diabetes basically involves an inherent metabolism problem. Because of the inability to absorb and process blood sugar in the muscles, the muscles are constantly experiencing malnutrition. Insulin that has been produced may not be efficiently used. Coupled with lack of exercise, excess glucose eventually becomes fat. We also know that this abnormal blood sugar metabolism affects appetite. All of these lead to weight problems. Between 70%-80% of people with obesity have diabetes. Likewise, 70%-80% of diabetics have difficulty controlling their weight.

I don’t have diabetes, why should I be concerned?
Diabetes is the “silent killer”. Often people who have diabetes do not know it because they cannot feel it. People must take a direct measurement of their blood glucose levels to know if they have diabetes. Even more alarming, when a person is diagnosed with diabetes, the actual development of the disease actually started on the average of seven years prior. Once the active symptoms and complications are observed, diabetes has already entered the later stages. Early detection is good, but prevention is even better. A yearly blood test is essential, even if you feel healthy.

What is Pre-Diabetes?

Pre-diabetes is when a person has a higher than normal blood glucose levels (hyperglycemic) but the level is not high enough to be diagnosed as diabetic or they are unable to secrete enough extra insulin in response to a glucose challenge. This is a cause for concern, especially when 700000 people in the Netherlands have “Pre-diabetes”. At this point, long term damage to the body is already occurring and often leads to Type II diabetes. If the blood glucose is controlled at an early stage, the development into Type II diabetes can be prevented. Often, diabetes is referred to as the “Silent Killer” due to the unobvious symptoms of diabetes. People who have diabetes or are pre-diabetic initially do not feel pain or feel any symptoms. It is only when the diabetes has reached a serious stage when all the complications, pain and symptoms surface. As previously mentioned, according to statistics, once a person is diagnosed as diabetic, it is likely that the onset of the diabetes actually started seven years ago. On average, every 10 years afterward, there is a rise in blood sugar of 100 milligrams per deciliter. Diabetes is a progressive disease.

Treatment Goals
The main goal for diabetes management is good blood glucose control. Your doctor will recommend a desirable range for you. Keeping your blood glucose as close to your target range as possible will help keep you healthy. Other important health goals for people with diabetes are lowering high blood pressure and decreasing cholesterol and triglyceride (blood fat) levels. If these are high, you may be more at risk for heart disease and stroke. A big goal for anyone who smokes is to stop! Smoking accelerates all of the problems associated with diabetes, because it cuts blood flow and oxygen to the cells. Good Nutrition Matters Your food choices will affect your diabetes control. Foods that contain natural or added sugar or starch (carbohydrates) will affect your blood glucose more than foods that are mainly protein or fat. A registered dietitian can help you plan a healthy meal plan using a variety of your favorite foods. Controlling calories is important for diabetes control. A weight loss of just 10 to 20 pounds can make a big difference in your blood glucose and blood pressure control. Drinking plenty of water, eating higher fiber foods, and eating less fat will help. Watching your sodium intake is also helpful if you have high blood pressure. Limiting solid fats will help control your cholesterol level.

Eating less fat so next time eat only half of it.

Most people find that eating the same amount of food at about the same time each day helps them control their blood glucose. Skipping meals is a bad idea, especially if you take diabetes medicine. Missing a meal also makes you more likely to overeat later. 2 You do not need to buy special food for your diabetes. The diabetic meal plan is good for both you and your family. Getting Active Is Important Blood glucose and weight control are very difficult to achieve without regular physical activity. Activity may include merely moving around more during the day, driving less, taking the stairs more often, doing yard work, or walking the dog, all of which increase caloric use.

Regularly scheduled exercise is also good. For weight loss, exercise that gets the heart rate up helps the most. Good choices are brisk walking, swimming laps, water aerobics, and biking. If you have not exercised regularly lately, have a doctor’s exam before you start. The results of this checkup will help you choose the activity that is best for you. The main goal is to do more of something you enjoy. You should exercise 5 to 7 days a week. Exercising with a partner or group may help you better stick to your program. Exercising at the same time each day may make your blood glucose levels more predictable.

Blood Glucose Monitoring is the only way to tell how well you have your diabetes under control. Your medical team will tell you how often to check. These blood glucose readings will help you see patterns in your diabetes control. If you have three values at the same time each day that are above or below your target range, you may need to change your eating, exercise, or medication habits. Recording your blood glucose readings, what you ate, what you did that day, and how much medicine you took will help you see those patterns. There are many monitors available. A diabetes educator or a pharmacist can help you decide which one is best for you. Always take your monitor and blood glucose records with you when you see your medical team. They can test to be sure your monitor is working correctly and that you are checking it properly.

Obese and diabetic a deadly combination

Medication Choices
New medicines for diabetes seem to appear every day. Your doctor will decide which medication is right for you. Some people with type 2 diabetes may only require better eating habits and more physical activity to control their diabetes. Medication needs often change over time, so you may switch diabetes medicines or add medicine more than once. Blood glucose monitoring is essential in deciding the correct amount of diabetes medicine for you. Diabetes pills work in different ways. They are not insulin. Some pills cause your pancreas to produce more insulin. Some make your liver produce less blood glucose after meals. Others slow the absorption of carbohydrate. Another type makes you more sensitive to insulin. You may need one or more of these medicines to control your diabetes. You may need insulin shots. Some people need insulin along with diabetes pills. How often you take insulin depends on how much insulin your body still produces and how closely your doctor wants to control your diabetes. Different types of insulin last different amounts of time. Your medical team will tell you how much of each kind you need to take and how often.

 In the beginning your overwhelmed by all the information and medication

Don’t Be Overwhelmed
Diabetes is a complex disease, and it takes time to develop the skills needed to control it. A certified diabetes educator can help. Ask your doctor to refer you to an educator for diabetes education. A diabetes support group may also help.
  

You will be surprised how much you will learn and how much easier it is to adjust your diabetes care so that it fits your lifestyle.

The Old Sailor,