What is the time to find inner peace

Dear Bloggers,

In my life I had to deal with a lot of ups and downs in all different ways either mental or physically. In a lot of cases I managed myself in others i have been seeking for help by professional caregivers. And in a way I can say that I have found the inner peace in myself. I compare myself to an old and wise man who still learns every day from the mistakes that he makes.

The path to inner peace is not very simple or short. You cannot just wake up one day and decide you are going to have inner peace from that point forward. It is a slow process, a journey that needs to be appreciated every step of the way. You need to be willing to let go and accept your full spectrum of emotions. Might be difficult for some proud men and women.

You need to be ready to step outside the box you have allowed yourself to be put into and start from scratch, getting to know yourself all over again and be willing to make a lot of mistakes. And most importantly, you have to realize that only you have control over your emotional responses and reactions and they can be changed for the better.

No one article or even one book is going to give you the answers to achieving inner peace. What they can do is assist you in initiating change within yourself by bringing light to something you were not previously aware of.Once you become aware of ways you can improve how you live your life, you can begin true transformations. These transformations are evolutions of the mind, spirit and soul. Once you really change your ways to be in alignment with your true self, you will never go back, just like a tadpole to a frog or a caterpillar to a butterfly.

Often, people live within a false sense of inner peace. The saying “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what a ship is for!” is an example of this. If you live your life in “the harbor” and never go out of your comfort zones, then you will be misleading yourself into believing you have harmony within. You need to be willing to experience a full range of emotions and face some challenges on the path to getting to know yourself through others and your experiences.

Offloading Your Emotional Baggage

Everyone has a certain amount of emotional baggage they carry with them everywhere. The idea of finding inner peace is to offload this baggage so you can feel light, healthy, vibrant, free and maybe one day even enlightened. What is emotional baggage? It comes in many forms and some examples could be shame for past deeds, judgments towards others, being victimized, being abused, guilt for past mistakes, distorted beliefs about yourself and others, insecurities and body image problems. Every person is unique in their genetics and socialization. Add to that unique experiences through life and we get complex individuals who bounce of each other every which way they turn, sometimes positive, sometimes negative.

The secret to clearing your issues is to take your ship out of the harbor and interact with others. This is a vital part of learning about yourself. If you have ever heard one important thing to remember in your life on this earth, remember this: Anything you see in others, you have in yourself also and any judgment you make towards another, is really about you. This applies to both “good” and “bad” things you recognize.

An example of what this means is if you react in anger towards someone who is crying, having no compassion for their situation, it could be you are angry with yourself when you get sad, seeing it as week and don’t ever allow yourself to cry. When you refuse to accept something in yourself, you also will not accept it in others.

Another example, a teenager comes home from school and tells her mother a crude joke she heard about drinking addiction. The mother immediately goes into a rage and yells at her to go to her room and that she is grounded. Mum stands there shaking, and angry that her buttons have been pressed. She had a brother who was a alcoholic and they had never told her children about him. She never spoke about him and never dealt with the issues around the subject. When she reacted to her daughter that way, it was all her own anger and issues about the situation and nothing to do with her daughter. Actually she was facing herself in a mirror.

We need to start looking at the way we react to people and to situations. We need to work on smoothing these “buttons” we all have everywhere, because you can’t find inner peace if you are constantly judging yourself and others. This is process of learning and being willing to admit to yourself and others when you are wrong. This is a cure way to learn a lot about yourself very quickly!

Once you open your self to the truth there will be no going back. The idea is simple, if you don’t have the emotion, thought, trait, personality in you that you are seeing in others, you would not recognize it in someone else. We see someone make a face and because we make that face when we eat something sour, we presume they are also experiencing the feeling of eating something sour. This is not the case, this judgment projects from our mind like a movie of our own experiences played on cue for any situation, and we aren’t even aware we’re doing it. Use your interactions to better yourself and grow in your compassion for others through realizing your own faults and problems.

There is more good news you can also own your admiration's. This means all the things you admire or maybe are even jealous of in others, you have in yourself also. Maybe you have always admired the guy next door for his ease on the basketball court, yet he practices every day and disciplines himself. You know deep down if you did that too, you could be just as good. You can choose to realize this is where your jealousy comes from, and use it to change yourself through your new self awareness or sit around in bitterness and jealousy, denying your own undeveloped talents. 

Another example is women who make comments about other women’s clothes. Often they are really the most insecure ones of all. Instead of feeling in competition, they need to deal with their own issues as to why they feel a person’s clothes have anything to do with the person themselves. Do they think their clothes make them a better person, and if so, why? 
 
Letting Go of Control

You will have to let go of control to find inner peace. This is control you have over any one in your life and control over life itself. One thing you can’t do if you want peace, is give anyone else power over your feelings. When you try to control someone, ultimately they are controlling you. If you feel you need to monitor someone’s every move, or have them be with you all the time, you are really restricting yourself to the same. You have to develop trust and let go of fear.

If you feel scared, accept it for what it is, a harmless yet uncomfortable emotion. No big deal and when you’ve overcome it a few times, it becomes easy. Never say “You make me feel so angry/sad/frustrated!” because you are choosing to feel those things and what someone else does with their life should not impact on you. It is about developing emotional intelligence and allowing people to live their life without being responsible for your reactions.

Trust those who say they love you and trust every interaction you have. Don’t be trying to read into things, there’s no point. What other people think is none of your business and you will never be guaranteed to work it out, so just let it go. This won’t happen in a day, but keep working on yourself. Any time you catch yourself wondering what someone says or thinks about you when you’re not around, just make a point to change your mind to something else. If you keep doing it, you will re-train your mind, and before you know it, you will be free from the opinions of others.

Fear for some reason has been applied to so many situations in our time. Fear is actually an adrenalin response to a situation we instinctively feel the need to flee from. Anxiety, stress or worry are not fear. You may be worried about going out in crowds, you may be anxious about the promotion interview and you may feel stressed about going by yourself, but you aren’t afraid. Acknowledge these emotions when they arise, let them know they are justified, then continue with your plans.

Rest assured that the more times you continue, regardless of the feelings, they will soon fade away. An example is a lady who hasn’t dated for five years and someone she knows and trusts has set her up on a blind date. Initially she is very excited and as the time draws near, she begins to tell herself she is too afraid and can not go through with it. She ends up phoning her friend for the mans number, lying to her friends, then calling the man to tell him she has become suddenly ill and can't go. If she just said to herself “yes this is difficult and I am nervous, but I can do it anyway and anyone would be nervous in this situation, it’s just human.” What is the worst that can happen? Maybe she will sound or look nervous, but that’s not bad and no where near as rude as canceling at the last minute.

We Can Only Change Ourselves

Why would anyone want to bother with all this inner peace stuff? To end the cycle of ups and downs, emotions popping up when you don’t want them too, interactions with others become diplomatic and helpful and you will be able to experience an inner calm and confidence that words can not describe. You will no longer have petty conversations that are full of gossip and bragging, but will begin to talk about ideas and events that are interesting and positive. What you put out, you really get back in life. So if you think and feel negatively towards others, you will think and feel negative about yourself as well.

The time old saying “Mind your own business” is based in wisdom. We can only change ourselves and it is not for us to judge the way anyone else lives their lives. As we have already discussed, any judgment we make is actually really related to ourselves anyway. Don’t waste precious time or energy on what others are doing with their lives, and learn not to take anything personally.

Whenever someone makes a decision as to how they spend their own time or energy, it is their decision to make, so don’t go sticking your nose in where it isn’t wanted and don’t think it is all about you. There is no way you can know the repercussions of your advice of judgments towards others, so keep your lips sealed even when the urge seems overwhelming to give your opinion. It is not your place, and unless you have been overcome with some phenomenal amount of wisdom and perfectionism straight from the heavens, you don’t have the answers and shouldn’t act like you do.

Meditation and Inner Peace

Meditation is very important part of finding inner peace. Mediation is not only relaxation, it is a way of living. When you meditate as a form of relaxation, you access areas of your mind which are normally hidden behind everyday thoughts and memories. You are able to clear away all the narrow-minded thoughts and get to your deeper subconscious mind to deal with what arises. This can help to fast track your road to inner peace, as it relaxes and vitalizes you physically, emotionally and mentally and reconnects you spiritually.
You can also meditate in your every day life. 

There is an art to being able to live in the moment and there is an old Buddhist saying that you may have heard. It goes “Before enlightenment, carry water, chop wood - after enlightenment, carry water, chop wood”. The difference is the state of mind and inner peace. Before enlightenment, you would do every day tasks with your mind racing through thoughts and memories. You would be thinking about yesterday and tomorrow and be unaware of the beauty of the moment. You could even be annoyed that you have to do the task at hand. 

After enlightenment, you would be in the moment, your mind free and peaceful as you are in a consistent state of satisfaction, regardless of where you are and what you are doing. In this way, if you first begin to become aware of the thoughts you have while trying to be in the moment, you will be able to release or confront each issue and continue to work towards a clear mind and relaxed body. The goal is to be totally involved in the task at hand without prejudice.

 

Self Acceptance

Consider taking the time to write a list of the things you fear most in life. Then seriously consider ways you can work towards confronting and overcoming those fears. You should add to your list as you become more self aware, because you will have more realizations as to who you are and what you can work on overcoming. Some examples might be if you are scared of certain emotions in others, you can not accept compliments, you can’t give compliments, you are uncomfortable with affection, spending time alone, climbing ladders, cats, dogs, etc., etc.

When writing the list, look deeply at your reactions to situations and remember fear isn’t just felt as fear and is often disguised as anger. A perfect example is the mother who can’t find her child for a few minutes. A dread comes over her and when she does find him or her, she reacts in an angry way and yells at him or her for walking away. Its an over reaction and is not a true expression of her emotions. The fear remains suppressed and unacknowledged, so will only be amplified next time a similar situation arises.

You have to be willing to be honest with yourself and others. If you can’t be honest, you will be unable to find synchronicity in your life. 

Life is a journey.........Some enjoy it, others don't.


The Old Sailor,

What if you became the victim of a manipulator

Dear Bloggers,

What if you became the victim of a manipulator on your job. If your manager is one of those kind of bosses what would you do if he picked you as his victim.

Loads of people would flea and others will pick up the fight. But fighting is difficult and it might take more than you ever could imagine. My wife has always been someone who wasn't scared to tell you if there was something wrong work wise and you had a tough time when she was sure that she was right.

She could be pretty much point out were the problem was. She lost the three year long battle against two managers and has ended up with a mental state of mind as the last one did every thing in his power to make the kill and that she would leave without any hassle. I am pretty impressed that these people get that much freedom from the higher management to do that much damage to a happy personality (I've seen people that were that much destroyed as they had been captured and tortured by kidnapping something that you could expect.)

 

I am often asked how a person can get to each other through the process of picking up the pieces and overcoming the scars of an abusive or manipulative workplace once they finally found the courage to end it.

In fact, I’ve been asked several times to consider writing a book, on this topic alone. It seems that dysfunctional work relationship survivors often experience some unique kinds of emotional and mental turmoil. And although I’ve written about the fundamental ways these individuals can empower themselves and start over, I haven’t written very much on the kinds of things they typically experience as they’re trying to heal their wounds and put their lives back together. 

Most families fall apart after the abuse as the partners can't cope anymore. The one that has been victimized has trouble to trust people including their own spouse and children. It is a bumpy road to get your life back on track. 

Many people have told me about how hard it was for them to stop blaming themselves and engaging in a lot of self-doubt and reproach. ”How could I have been so blind…. or so stupid, or why didn't I walk away from this?” they ask themselves. It’s difficult for them to reconcile the way they saw things in the days before their toxic relationship and the way they have come to view things since their painful experience. They sometimes question their rationality as well as their sanity. 

 
But the truth of the matter is that while they might indeed have had some personality characteristics of their own that made them particularly naive and vulnerable (most of us do), the fact is that covert-aggressors are generally quite skilled at what they do, and the more seriously character disturbed social predators among us (i.e. the psychopaths/sociopaths) are extremely astute and talented when it comes to the “art of the con.” And in their very nature, manipulation tactics are often hard to see until after the fact. 

Besides, it’s relatively pointless to play the self-blame game. Lovingly reckoning with your vulnerabilities and vowing to become a stronger, better person in the aftermath of a troubled workrelationship is one thing, but doing an emotional hatchet-job on yourself just because you happened to fall prey to a good con artist is quite another.

And after years of being manipulated it’s easy to get into the habit of doubting yourself. This can be an even bigger problem if you tried counseling the manipulator at some point and the disturbed character who is wanting the ultimate power managed to con the therapist as well. Still, as hard as it might be, the one of the most important tasks for any “recovering” person has before them is to end the destructive cycle of self-doubt and blame.

Some folks have a lot of anger to deal with after their abusive relationship is finally over. They can harbor resentment that their former abuser seemed to “get away with” being such a Son of a gun while they (and perhaps their children as well) had to pay all the prices involved. To make matters worse, some possessive controllers as in my spouse her case do their best to make the ordeal of manipulating their husband as well which might lead to separation or divorce and make their live like a living hell on those who have finally had enough and found the courage to walk away. And the collateral damage that can be done to otherwise healthy relationships with others who might possibly have been sources of support can also make a survivor angry, bitter, and resentful.

For the reasons mentioned above as well as some very important others, especially for purposes of healthy information-sharing, I’d like to invite all of the readers who can identify themselves with these issues to comment on the various things they might have gone through when ending a job or even worse a relationship with a manipulator or other character-disturbed person and trying to start a new life. 

And I’ll might be writing some more on this topic in the coming months.

The Old Sailor,

Looking for the "One" is useless

Dear Bloggers,

My life had many ups and downs and also my love live has been all over the place. Every break up is different and from all of them I've learned something. I gave up love for a while as I was so heartbroken and did not believe in relationships anymore. I cried my heart out and could not se the future at that point and fully out of the blue, I met my lovely wife. And yes we are still beautiful people eventhough we aged and got wrinkles our hearts are still bouncing. I am still madly in love and she is the best I have. let's hope that it will last forever.

 
The feeling of being in love is the best. When you meet someone and have that instant spark. You hit it off right from the start and get butterflies in your stomach every time you see them. When hours of being together feel like minutes. When you can get an hour of sleep and still feel high on life the next day. Not to mention the blissful feeling of certainty when we feel like you’ve met “the one” (finally!). You start fantasizing about the future together and are convinced that the other person is on the same page you are. It went on for weeks and in your opinion life couldn't get any better.
And then it ended.

And you were not only heartbroken, but shocked because it seemed so right and you don’t understand what went wrong.
Contrary to what romantic comedies made us believe, this is actually fairly common and not necessarily a bad thing.

I know that is not comforting if you are in the pain of a break-up, but stay with me because understanding why the one you thought was going to be forever ended may offer you some relief.

What I have seen over and over again with friends is that they meet someone who has all the qualities that they have dreamed about, and they are so happy when they are with that person. And then the relationship ends often in a very abrupt way or because of uncontrollable or unchangeable circumstances. It almost feels like the person is literally being taken away. Well they kind of are – and for a good reason, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Why does a relationship that feels so right end? So that you can truly see what is so amazingly “right” about you.

I’ll explain…

Just as people are here to teach us where we have judgments and unresolved issues, they are also here to illuminate what is so amazing about ourselves that we are not acknowledging, owning and experiencing. If you have been with someone you thought was the one, you probably found certain qualities about him or her incredibly attractive. You also may have said, “She brought out the best in me!” Exactly. He or she did bring out the best of you, but it’s your job to keep it going. They fulfilled their spiritual agreement with you by attracting you with their awesome qualities to reflect to you what you are not seeing about yourself. And by triggering the best inside of you so you could have the experience of your awesomeness. But it wasn’t their job to stay.

When she was around I felt beautiful and confident. She consistently told me that and she did things that made me feel that way. I loved her so much and treated her with love, respect and kindness. Now that she was gone, my confidence has tumbled to it's lowest point ever. and I was desperately attempting to figure out what I did wrong.
She did not do anything wrong (and neither did you if you were can relate to any part of her story). Sometimes the Universe sometimes “reassigns” a person to support you in fully integrating what they were reflecting inside of you, and to protect you from a co-dependent relationship. For example, if you were really attracted to their creativity or drive, one of their gifts to you was to inspire you to reconnect with your creativity or drive.

 
Or as in my case, before our relationship I never felt really beautiful and had very little self-confidence. I just filled a void that had been empty for nearly 5 years. In order for her to fully step into her own beauty and confidence she is now faced with the opportunity to fill the void herself.

We cannot see in another what we don’t have inside ourselves. If you feel like the person brought out a quality of yours like creativity, you are incorrect. They merely triggered what has been sleeping inside of you. No one else can make us do anything that we aren’t already. If the person were still there, you would not be as motivated to be the things you miss about them or the version of you that you were with them.

Remember no one is the “one” because everyone is the one. Every single person you have a relationship with (and I don’t just mean that romantically) is a soul mate because they are teaching you soul lessons. We all are mirrors and teachers for each other to learn our life and write new pages in our book of life.

I understand that nothing feels quite as devastating as not being able to be with the one you thought she or he was the “one.” What would be devastating is never truly integrating the amazing qualities you saw or experienced with or in that other person. You were not rejected, their future was just reassigned.

The purpose of any relationship is for our learning and to grow in love. Both for another and for ourselves. It is not necessarily to be together forever, as this is not realistic as some lose the love of their live due to an accident or a terrible disease. It should make us happy, or fulfill any void in our lives. I encourage you to move through the pain that you have and get to the purpose of your relationship. Begin to see how it served you and learn something from it.

Trust that although the physical presence of a person may not be there anymore, the qualities you loved about them belong to you. What you love about them is still inside of you.

You bring out the best in you. It’s there. Stop looking for it in the eyes or arms of another. And when you bring out the best in you then you will be able to share it with someone who brings out the best in themselves, too. 

No more wondering if someone else is the “one”. You are the one you have been looking for.



The Old Sailor,

An old fairy tale in a modern jacket

Dear Bloggers,

During the my wanderings through my funny mind.

I wanted to put an old fairy tale into a modern form. 

Everyone knows the sad story of the girl with the matches. 

As a young bloke this story made me cry and I realized that not everyone is 

that lucky in this life, some have to live under harsh conditions

This is my version of it. I wish everyone a warm and loving Christmas time.

It was a frigid cold night outside on the streets of downtown Groningen City, the coldest night of the year in fact. It was Christmas Eve and all along the littered and paved road were buildings with warm glows coming from the windows of the apartment buildings. Everyone was happily celebrating the Christmas spirit with glasses of brandy or a beer and a typical Christmas movie on their televisions. The snow fell down fast and thick, blanketing the sidewalks in a soft but chill powder. The snow ploughs would have quite a job clearing all the walkways and roads in the morning.

A public service bus emblazoned with Groningens famous grey and red dotted pattern managed to find a vacant spot along the side of the busy street and parallel parked, coming to a stop. The back passenger door opened and a man in a dark trench coat and dark hat shoved a young girl onto the unploughed sidewalk. The bloke threw a box at her, revealing quite a large stock of packaged cigarettes. “Now, I don’t wanna see you back on my doorstep until every last pack of smokes has been sold, you got that kid?” the owner of the hat yelled harshly. The girl sighed and shivered as the wind tore through her thin jacket and ragged jeans.

“Yeah, alright! I’ll sell ‘em!” she snapped back, thoroughly irritated with her big brother doing this to her again. He had sent her out in the frigid cold every night this week to sell those disgusting cigarettes his buddies smuggled in from other countries. She had gotten quite ill from her late-night job and even now, her eyes were streaming and her nose was dripping terribly. Her lungs felt about three sizes too small for her body and every now and then, she would be plagued with a wracking cough that left her gasping for air.

Of course, her brother would not take her to the hospital. He didn’t want to waste his precious money that she earned for him on something as trivial and unimportant as medical care. The bus slowly took off again and got out of sight again, leaving the sick young girl of about twelve years by herself on the streets of Groningen City.

She wore no gloves and her sneakers had holes in them that allowed the snow to soak through and freeze her toes. Her jacket was too ragged and thin to wear in March, let alone late December. Pulling the thin fabric tighter around her scarf-less neck, she put her head down and trudged her way through the bitter cold snow, being jostled back and forth by busy Groningers who were in too much of a hurry to notice her.

Finding a rather busy intersection, with bustling traffic all around her, the girl decided to advertise the cigarettes there. Placing the box in front of her on the ground and pulling out a brightly coloured, freshly wrapped package, she cleared her aching throat and shouted out. “Get your cigarettes here! Fresh, smooth cigarettes with a new mint flavour! Only three fifty a pack! A great low price!” she yelled out, displaying the carton as high up as she could to grab people’s attention. A few passing folks bought a package or two, but most just turned their heads and kept walking without a word. She had only sold four packages of cigarettes and needed to sell the entire box full before returning to her brother.

A bout of severe coughing caught the young girl by surprise. Doubled over, she hacked and spluttered until she thought she may vomit right there on the pavement. Luckily, the feeling passed although she was left gasping for breath, hands on her knees at the intersection. Of course, the bustling Groningers walking past paid no attention to her. The suffering of a little girl was no concern of theirs.

Wiping her runny eyes that were now mixed with hot, salty tears, the girl shook her head to shake the snow out of her hair. “Forget this! This is dumb!” she muttered to herself angrily, giving the box of cigarettes a good kick, leaving a sizable dent in the soggy cardboard. Picking up the box and continuing to walk down the street, she had to bite her lip to stop from crying out in pain. She was so cold she couldn’t feel her toes or her fingers and she was aching all over from the beating her brother had given her the day before for coming home with no profit.

“Psst! Hey, kid! You got some smokes there?” the voice of a homeless man wafted out from an alley. The young girl was not afraid of street people. Most of them were usually kind enough to spare an encouraging word or a few extra scraps of food when she made her rounds. She nodded and stepped forward. “Yeah, but I can’t give ‘em to you for free or else my brother will beat me,” she told him apologetically. The homeless man waved a hand as if to brush off her words.

“Ah, that’s okay kid. I got some matches though. Care to trade a pack of smokes for some matches?” he asked, pulling out a small handful. The girl was about to apologize once more and say that her brother would hit her for trading any of the cigarettes when a thought struck her. The matches would provide some kind of warmth for her numb fingers. Unable to resist, the girl eagerly nodded and traded the homeless man for the matches. “Thanks, kid. You’re alright,” the man complimented her, walking away with his new treasure.

Taking the man’s place in the dark alley, the girl struck one of the matches against the rough brick of the building beside her. Thankfully, the match wasn’t wet and a small fire glowed brightly in front of her eyes. Looking up, the young girl witnessed the most amazing sight. Before her lay her old living room from when her mother had been alive, decorated lavishly for the holidays. A gleaming pine tree covered in twinkling lights and tinsel shone magnificently and presents were laid underneath, covered in festive wrapping paper as a roaring fire spread its warmth throughout the room. As the girl reached out to touch her surroundings, the flame of the match flickered and died out; leaving her once again in one of Groningen City’s many dark and frighteningly cold alleys.

With a cry of fear she desperately struck another match. This time, she was in her old dining room, also decorated for Christmas and the table groaning under the weight of all the delicious food upon it. Roasted turkey with cranberry sauce and gravy, mashed potatoes, wine and eggnog all freshly made by her mother. The scent made the girl’s mouth water, but again the vision did not last and with the death of the match’s flame, came reality once more.

Just one more… the girl thought to herself hopefully, again striking a third match. Rather than seeing visions of her old home with food and decorations made by her deceased mother, she saw her mother before her. She was alive and well, looking healthy and jubilant. She smiled warmly at her daughter, holding her arms out to embrace her. Sobbing with joy, the girl frantically lit the rest of the matches she had, not wanting the image of her mother to fade away like the others had. “Mom! Mom, take me with you! Don’t leave me again, mom!” she wept.

“Come. I’m taking you with me, where you will never be sad or cold or hungry again. We will be together forever,” her mother’s sweet, gentle voice called out calmly to her. Smiling through her tears, the girl ran into her mother’s arms and they were floating higher and higher. As they ascended, the young girl could feel all her sadness, loneliness, hunger, and cold fade away, leaving her in a state of bliss as she embraced her mother. She would never feel these things again.

The morning rush hour traffic on the first day after Christmas was brought to a standstill as police tape surrounded a snowy alley. A female officer leaned over the body of a little girl, surrounded by lit matches and a box of cigarettes nearby. She cleared her throat and spoke into the walkie-talkie attached to her breast pocket. “We seem to have a Jane Doe here, approximately ten to thirteen years old; seems like she froze to death last night. We’ll have her at the coroner’s by midday. Over,” she told another officer. The officer sighed and shook her head. “Poor kid. Probably she was just trying to keep herself warm.”

Light a candle in these dark days for those who are no longer with us,

but somewhere up there waiting for us. And when our time has come 

to exchange the earthly to the afterlife. 

Whatever you believe and no matter who you are. 

Just remember Love conquers all. 

The Old Sailor,