Are you still able to work wit FMS

Dear Bloggers,

For nearly everyone I know with Fibromylagia, it is not the pain, or the fatigue, or even the restless sleep that frustrates them the most, it is the feeling of no longer being productive or able to contribute to a normal society. Also the misunderstanding of the illness by other family members leaves deep emotional scars. How many of us have had to quit our jobs or restructure our lives completely because of this illness? Sorry it is not an illness but a so called syndrome and it is not recogneized by the beneficiary services. It is not a health issue but a mental problem. Most of us I am sure. And for those of you still maintaining your lives and careers, it is through sheer strength and will that you are able to do so.

For myself, Fibromyalgia has forced me into a change. I was working in a passenger ships reception at a high-pressure, fast-paced ferry company when I first was diagnosed in 2009. For months I tried to hang onto the position I had spent several years building within the company, but ultimately I had to let it go. It was not an easy choice to make, but it definitely led to an improvement in my life and allowed me to manage my symptoms without the stress and pressure I faced daily as a receptionist. And yes I loved my stressy job.

I became a bus driver and worked for a temps office, able to set my own schedule, and as long as I met or exceeded my and their goals, I could work as much or as little as I needed. Some weeks I worked full-time, others I put in less than 20 hours. My position required me to drive a lot, but all of my rides were within driving distance so I became a master at routing myself and to take advantage of my "good" days and I had enough breaks to recharge for the next run. The planner knew that he could count on me if he needed someone to fill in.

For several years I was pretty succesful and even thrived in my ships career. At the time it was a very compatible career for me. Then in 2009, as I was sailing to one of my destanies, I was hardly able to get out of my bunk, I waved it away as it was nothing serious and I probably would get the flue. And the comfortable life I had spent the last ten years of building up my carrer was shattered in an instant. Even though I had been living with Fibromyalgia for ten years, I had no idea how relatively manageable my symptoms had been. Sure I had some bad days and debilitating flares, but this was only in the winter season. But nothing like I began experiencing after this bloody morning.

So once again I was faced with a decision. I knew I could no longer manage my sailing territory and my health. I could have pursued the opportunity to go on disability, but I was afraid if I allowed myself to be labeled "disabled" I would start to believe that I no longer had anything to contribute. When I ended up at the UWV office they straight away told me that there are no benefits for this syndrome called FMS. This was puzzling me as the Danish government declared me not able to work a full time job and I was also entitled to a disability pension. It made me angry and confused as I was sitting in between two different opinions. And I made the choice to work as a bus driver but in my own speed. Please do not get me wrong I honor and respect those of you who have and need the security of disability, it was simply my personal decision to eliminate that as one of my choices. So what to do then?

For the first time in my life, I decided to follow my passion for driving. I didn't just wake up one day and decide though. It came about out of the natural progression of me trying to manage and improve my health. Things were pretty dark immediately after my job loss. As the weeks and months past, I continued to feel worse, not better. My despair led me to go and do the driving course and exams needed to become a bus driver and to get my license of course. I started driving for the summer period, and this continued until the 31^st of December last year.Unfortunate the contract was finished. 

Thinking about my health and wellbeing, and then a weird thing happened - my life began to come back into focus again. I felt like I had a voice and a purpose again. And then slowly, I started for an other region in the same  company again. Maybe this was not the best choice that I have made. As all other temps I am just another number where no one is happy and among the ones with a steady job sickness is up to more then 10%. I would call it a low social people management close to modern slavery. 

It is by far my least lucrative career, but that doesn't even matter to me. I am healing through my driving, I am reaching out to all of you that there is always something that you still can do, and I am doing something I am passionate about. So do I thank Fibromyalgia for bringing me to this spot in my life. I don't think I will, even though I believe everything happens for a reason, and that I am exactly where I am meant to be, I also think my path was a little too painful for me to be grateful. Maybe I will just be grateful that I made it through.

So this is my story, but I am really curious to learn about all of you. Are you able to work while managing your Fibromyalgia symptoms? Do you simply push through it, or have you made adjustments to allow for the unpredictable nature of Fibromyalgia? Have you had a career change? Are you on disability? And if you are on disability are you still able to earn a supplemental income? Any thoughts you have on working with Fibromyalgia, I would really appreciate if you shared them in the comments. As you might have guessed I am planning to find another place to work again, all in quest for better health and wellbeing. 

The Old Sailor,

Did we all become slaves to the Rat Race?

Dear Bloggers,

You may consider me harsh for making such a statement, but the truth remains: the majority of the world will remain slaves to the "Rat Race" system for the rest of their lives. I speak with a lot of people on a daily basis who say that they are serious about starting their own Home Based business, but they never actually take action to begin the process. As I thought over the subject, trying to figure out "what was wrong with people", it suddenly came to me: We all have been trained to think like slaves!

From the time we were school age children, we were taught to go to work for someone else-in hopes of getting paid for our blood and sweat at the end of the week. We had no control over what the employer "decided" to pay us, nor did we have any say as to what type of hours we would work. We were taught to be "dependant" on others. This type of mentality is no different from the mentality of a slave. Slaves were forced to conduct hard labor for little pay (if any), while the "master" made a fortune, took exotic trips, and sent his children to private schools. For those who may think that I'm going overboard with my analogy, consider this: Who tells you when you can spend time with your family? Who tells you when you are "eligible" for time off? Who dictates to you how long you can take a lunch break?

 Are you starting to get the picture? Most people don't even realize that they are snared by the way they perceive. If a person doesn't believe or know that they have a problem, they won't consider getting treatment for the problem, thus, remaining in their sickening state until they die. Why not start a home based business for yourself? Why not take control of your own income, rather than let someone else tell you what your worth? Doesn't it make sense that you should be the one who decides how much you will be paid? Shouldn't you decide when your going to spend time with your family? If you desire to change the course of your life, you're going to have to change the way that you think. 

Entrepreneurs think different compared to employees. Employees complain that "there are no jobs". Entrepreneurs create jobs by starting businesses.
I am aware that there are some people who will never change the way that they think, no matter how many offers I make to them or how many blogs I write, they will continue to embrace the "employee" mindset. I don't mean any disrespect to those who decide to work for a living: there's nothing wrong with that. 

 

After all, I figured it out the hard way and now I am stuck with this bloody disease called fibromyalgia. 
For me there has never been a reason to give up. I started my life in a different way and became a parttime bus driver next to my job I am trying to start up a webshop but first I need to get some brilliant ideas for entering the market. I need someone to program my computer. I can go on-and-on but I think you get the picture. Which side of the road are you on? Do you want to have a different life or, are you satisfied with your safe secure job and nothing else?

If you're ready change your life and get a "better life",

The Old Sailor,

Life is fantastic everyday is a new gamble

Dear Bloggers,

Life is just one big gamble - I am convinced of it. Although such as philosophy is generally alien to me, I found myself in a situation the night prior to beginning this blog which really got me thinking.

It was Friday evening. I had stopped working only to sleep in the previous two days. I had arranged to phone a friend and grabbed a beer from the fridge - something unfortunately came up, however, and he couldn't talk to me as he had to work.

Alone, therefore - and tired - I began seriously rehearsing my drinking skills and smoking one cigarette after another (outside the house,  of course!) 

When I heard the familiar strains of, "The Gambler," by Kenny Rogers, it was probably the catalyst which really got me thinking about the meaning of life.....

Yes I am a smoker and a drink is always welcome when I don’t have to work. I try to enjoy life as much as I can but it is not always easy.

There are of course tens of millions of people in this world - if not more - who enjoy a social drink now and again. Whether it be a few beers, a couple of shots of whisky, or a bottle of wine with a meal, drinking alcohol can be a way of relaxing, unwinding and mixing with friends and family.

The problem is, of course, that the practise of drinking alcohol can so easily get out of hand. Social drinking can become binge drinking, then acute alcoholism if it is not properly controlled and restricted to moderation. Excessive alcohol consumption sees us taking a very grave risk and essentially gambling with that most precious commodity and the highest stakes of all - our health. Unlike drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or any form of tobacco is not acceptable, even in moderation. Every time we light a cigarette we are damaging our health and gambling with our very lives. Government agencies and health authorities across the globe tell us the damage we are doing to ourselves in this way and the risks we are taking, yet so many of us still happily hand over our hard earned cash and give the wheel another spin...

 

On the other hand i think who wants to become over eighty when there is no pension left and you have to live in poverty. I hope that the taxes will drop then I can think of quitting. It is a huge income for the government as the taxrate is enormous. If all smokers would quit on the same day many countries would get bankrupt.

In my job as a bus driver I see people crossing streets every day and yes most of them are the suicidal type. How often do you cross the road when the traffic signals, in one way or another, tell you to wait?

Do you view a red light as an inconvenience - a challenge, perhaps? Do you look carefully around about you and decide that it is worth the risk - the gamble? Have you ever attempted to cross the road in this fashion, only to hear the blast of a horn from an angry motorist whom you failed to notice? Do you realise the risks you are taking every single time you perform this action? Do you get a thrill from the uncertainty?

To cross or not to cross?...Heads or tails?...Higher or lower?...Red or black?...What will it be this time...and what will the result throw up...?

Every now and then we gamble with our lives, the question is who has the better cards.

The Old Sailor,

Do you believe there is a God? part 2 Pearl Jam- Just Breathe

Do you believe there is a God?

Dear Bloggers,

This morning I woke up at five and had a sad kind of feeling over me. My thoughts wandered of again to my younger days. I do not have that many memories left after my accident unless the memories had a very deep impact on my live. But first of all let me do some introducion on the story. This story goes back more than 20 years. My dad had a stable with ponys and those were for rent as it was his hobby many guys and girls helped on a volunteerly base to get the stable going and keep the prices affordable for everyone. Carolien was one of them and she was a good looking young girl who lived during the holidays on a campsite with her family. She had a lot of headaches during the summer period but no one came to the conclusion that there was something wrong inside as she was a happy and cheerful girl. What a shame that she was ripped out of our lives and my God what have these parents gone through.

 My daughter is slowly climbing up to the time of adolescence and it reminds me of these days that I was struggling with hormones, emotions and all other interests in the other sex. But deep inside I was too shy to get involved with these girls. I am not a Don Juan and that was what God had forbidden. I was brought up with religion and I had to go to church during my youth. I stopped believing after one of my dearest friends was killed by a brain tumor and our dear God did nothing to save her. God killed my friend or at the very least stood by doing nothing while she died, while allowing people like surgeon’s who did not recognize this to live on with no regrets.

My friend, we’ll call her Carolien, died this past weekend at the age of 14. She was diagnosed having a severe headache problem but no one thought that it would be a brain tumor, and she could have had every type of surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy possible at that time, but no one came to the idea that she would have a brain tumor. When she collapsed at the volleybal training they rushed her into the operating theatre and tried to remove the tumor or at least to make it smaller. It was to far grown to remove it and it was not good enough to save her. She was sweet, caring, beautiful, and strong; she had recently gotten into high school and had a lifetime worth of goals and dreams ahead of her. Carolien had made plans for her future, and eventually becoming a mother. She volunteered in her community and was kind to everyone she met, regardless of whether she personally liked them. She was active in her church, sharing her many talents with anyone who asked.

Let me now add a disclaimer that I don’t believe in a God – there are a lot of things we don’t understand about the universe, and I don’t pretend to have any answers. But when my friend died, I couldn’t help but wonder how someone who believes in a God can justify what happened to her. It’s the classic question – “why do bad things happen to good people?” See, I understand that religious people generally believe in free will, so sometimes when bad things happen to us it’s a result of some action we took. For instance, if I drove my car to the grocery store while it was snowing and got into an accident injuring myself, it’s reasonable to assume that my choice to go for a drive while the roads were slippery played a role in my injuries. It was my choice, and I paid the consequences, despite how inherently good or bad I might be. I also understand that the definition of “good” or “bad” is going to vary between people.

However, I’m not sure of anyone that would consider an early death, like what Carolien had to endure, a good thing. And I don’t think her brain tumor had anything to do with a choice she made (in contrast to some cancers, like lung, which are often caused by an action like smoking). There was nothing she could have done or put into her body that caused that brain tumor – it was some sort of perverse accident, a deadly combination of genetics and environmental factors beyond her control. So then I ask, if you believe in God, what is your justification for this occurrence? Why did God give Carolien a brain tumor (or allow her to die of a brain tumor) while letting serial rapists live? Why did God allow a tsunami to kill over 200,000 people in 2004, while doing nothing to stop a repeat child-molester? Is it because “God works in mysterious ways”? That response always seemed like a bit of a cop-out – if you don’t know the answer, say so. Did my friend sin, and this was her punishment? I don’t buy that – she wasn’t perfect (no one is), but there are many people in this world far worse. Did God smite her just for his own amusement? Or it is possible, just maybe, that God had nothing to do with any of this – that sometimes life sucks and good people pay the consequence?

If God is loving and all-powerful, then he would have saved my friend. He wouldn’t have let her die before her parents, leaving behind a friend who is now considering with continued attention what goals he has left that didn’t involve a lifetime with her. The world is a worse place today, because Carolien is no longer here to share her love and talents with the rest of us. I wrote this blog in loving memory of my dear friend Carolien may she rest in peace for the love of all.

The Old Sailor,

I can't remember the old me

Dear Bloggers,

First of all I would like to say that I am sorry that I have not been around for a little while due to the fact that I have started my new job at another station in the company therefor I have to learn many new routes in an area that I am not to familiar with. The good old brain and body are having trouble to keep up with the new situation. In my old days I was pretty flexible and was able to learn new skills nowadays I have to make plans and work things out on paper.

Headaches I never had before

 

During the summer of 2003, I got into a horrible accident. Apparently slipping from the top of the stairs in our new house, I hit my head on the door of the fuse cabinet door and on the side wall. After 3 minutes of being out of this planet, I eventually recovered after a full year. Even though I was deemed "physically" healed, I felt that I was truly never the same. Not only had my demeanor and interests changed, but also it seemed as if I had become a completely different person after the accident. I thought it was very sad at the time, because the friends who had been close to me before were no longer close. I did not understand what they meant when they said that I had become a different person. Certainly, I realized that I had changed, but I could not remember the old me, so how comes that they could no longer treat me like the old "Jacob". I believed that this new "Jacob" was still the same person as before-that the inner soul with which they had become friends had never and, indeed, could never change. However, after reading Descartes' Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain, I regret the harsh judgments I made about "Jacobs" so called friends. Dealing with someone who has suffered from a tremendous change in personality is not as easy as one would expect. So how can I blame my wife as she probably can not addapt fully to the new me. And it makes me feel so sad but what can I do as I cannot find the “Old Jacob” back?

 body meets scattered brain

Brain injury is any injury that results in damage to the brain. For many people who suffer from brain injury, the problems associated with it become a permanent part of their lives. The problems that develop depend upon which part of the brain is injured. People can lose cognitive and motor functions as well as their ability to express thoughts and perceive their surroundings. The most unnerving consequence of a brain injury can be a change in personality. Often after being injured victims, like myself, develop an apathy and decreased motivation for life. Emotion can run to both extremes: a forever high, or as in the case of my friend, an absence there of. In society there is a difference in the response shown to someone who has suffered a brain injury that changes his or her personality, and someone whose injury has affected any other part of the body, or even other types of injuries to the brain. What accounts for this difference? If an individual loses a limb, he loses the function of that limb as well. It makes sense then that when an individual loses part of his brain, the function of that part goes too. This is in correlation with the statement, brain = behavior. Each part of the brain seems responsible for different behaviors, a fact that is reinforced when examining injuries to different areas of the brain and the varying results that occur. For example, if an individual suffers injury to their amygdala, he becomes calm and almost devoid of emotional ups and downs. People have therefore reasoned that this area of the brain is responsible for exhibiting anger and possessing violent emotions. If the function of a specific area of the brain is a defining characteristic of an individual's personality, then it is almost as if a new person develops, in place of the old, when an injury to that area occurs.

Modern Schizofrenia

"Jacob was no longer Jacob". The most frightening thing about my story is that, although I became somehow very different, I was for a long time not aware of the changes within myself. In class we have explored the nervous system and noted that there is a separate I-function involved, making one aware of the "self". With each class, it becomes more evident that this I-function has less and less control on the rest of the nervous system. Many times the I-function is not aware of things that the nervous system is doing until the person is told what his or her nervous system is doing, (i.e., when the brain makes up an image for the place of vision, the optic nerve, where no sensory receptors are located). So the question I have for people like me, who seem to be totally dissimilar people after suffering a brain trauma, is whether or not their I-functions are aware of the change in personality? People suffering from a personality change are unable to will themselves back to their old personality, even after their I-function is made aware. This furthermore, supports that brain equals behavior, because if behavior was independent of the brain, one would be able to change their personality back despite the brain changes. However, can we ever be sure that, because we are not mind readers, that even though their personality changes, they are not thinking in the same manner, as Descartes would argue? And if the individual thinks in an entirely new manner, would that really be enough to consider him or her a totally different person? I could not write it down less difficult than this.

That is how I feel

The likely reality is that when someone's brain is injured, the function is forever injured as well. There is no separation between mind and brain. Popular opinion of the mind's function is that it is a result of a brain process. Although when the brain loses a function, it is not unlike the reaction incurred in any other part of the body, but the more important query remains. Which characteristics do we use when defining a person's being? If I had suffered from a trauma to any other part of his body and survived, my friends would never have said that I was no longer the same person. Often when people undergo a personality change, their IQ remains unaffected by the injury. This is because of the various tasks delegated to the brain. The frontal lobe has evolved to be the main organizer. If people, like me, damage this region of the brain, their persona changes because this region is imperative for defining one's personality.

the other side of me

What, then, is the most important factor accounting for the way a person becomes defined; what has happened to make the various regions of the brain become so specialized? Has there been a gradual process through evolution that makes the loss of the frontal lobe harder to deal with than the loss of other regions of the brain, or other body parts? Or has the brain always functioned in this manner? When examining the responses to what appears to be injuries that are all serious in nature, it becomes apparent that some injuries are, indeed, more acute than others. Although an injury which is noticeable may on the surface seem more life changing, it cannot be argued that it is the injuries which are held within one's mind that are the most devastating to a person's being. Yes, they are all injuries to the body, but only those touching the brain have the capacity to change the "soul" of a person.

The Old Sailor,



Christmas is over

Dear Bloggers,


One of the best moments of Christmas comes when it is over. I say that not as a party-pooper - I love it when it is happening - but because we now can get on with real life, which is not that bad for most of us.

Much as we love visitors, and especially small ones, the silence is heavenly when they have gone to bed. We need no longer spend hours on frenzied High Street hunts for presents.
There is an end to all the business excuses which start in November about 'getting back to you after Christmas'.

This is a terrific time for doing household jobs pending since Easter, making up to the cats for being neglected since advent, steering children back to planet earth after weeks in orbit, and imposing censorship on all further moaning about the weather.

I am not a fan of the Christmas frenzy

I enjoyed the snow, but we have been there and done that. The stuff is sensational when new, clean and present in sufficient quantities for toboggans. But once it starts fading to slush, the picture-postcard thrill is gone. Eventhough it is hell to drive on these kind of days.

I once tried going abroad for Christmas, sitting in the sun while my friend described with sardonic glee exactly what cosmetic work each of the women around the pool had done. He is a great bastard if it comes to women.

However, the palm trees felt hopelessly wrong for the season, and we agreed never to repeat the experiment. This is the time for mulled wine, not bikinis. Almost everyone who loves their own home wants to be in it. I am bemused by those who brave the horrors of December airports, even when not snowbound.

My clever wife always makes a very small christmas effort on dining and I will do the rest of it as we do not see the point of the extreme luxury of eating turkey. By Boxing Day it resembles Sonja Bakker on a diet - almost invisible from a side view. Today it is already homemade tomatosoup. And now we have to go for another week and we will start a New Year without any future plans.

We go back to normal rations as soon as the remains of the exclusive diner have been cleared up, and are jolly grateful, too. I feel bad for the ones that were born in the month of December as their birthday is normally snowed under by the festivities in this month.

If you want children who will love you, prospective parents should be careful about what they do together around mid-March. Few babies born in December are grateful. They resent seeing Mummy sticking candles into a half-eaten Christmas cake on the grounds that there is no consumer demand for a special birthday one.

In our family we are great believers in getting on with it, whatever 'it' may be. This is a perfect season for looking ahead rather than backwards, and making things happen.

At this time of year, I am also spared from sceptical spectators. When other people are around, I realise that some do not regard what I do for a living. Some of them think that I am still working on a ship. That is how interrested people are nowadays.

No one under 40 seems to do it yourself any more, but this is a great week for those of us who love our Black & Deckers to build new shelves, mend the fence and sort out the garage.

I can never understand why home carpentry and decorating have gone out of fashion. However many Poles are clamouring for custom, it is fun as well as cash-saving to do some of the business in-house.

We oldies have the supreme satisfaction that we need not start getting glum about the prospect of going back to school. January is a much brighter month than December, with snowdrops and lengthening days.

Our ancestors had cause to get depressed at New Year about the prospect of seeing little fresh food before spring, facing months of salted meat and half-frosted potatoes. We are subject to no such privations, unless something goes horribly wrong at Albert Heijn.

We can walk country lanes with the assurance of returning to warm homes, and wave away the last days of 2010 without a tremor of nostalgia.

This is a time for looking ahead, sighing with relief that a pretty dismal year for most of us is drawing to an end.

If children believe in Santa Claus or in my country Sinterklaas, it is the privilege - indeed the duty - of their parents to cherish a conviction that the times to come will be better than the times past. Here's hoping that it will be so for you.

The Old Sailor,

The Christmas Carol Phone call

Dear Bloggers,


Unfortunately I am getting unemployed again and I really start to think that it is a fetish to bosses to lay off staff just before or during Christmas. As this is not the first time that it happens and yes I can handle it, but some of my fellow drivers can’t. One of them ran straight up to the office and told them that he would leave straight away, another driver said that he will leave just before Christmas. Hmmm.......these are hard times to keep a job, as soon as the temps office called alarmbells started ringing and the applying machine was started up again. As Scrooge was on the television I twisted this into a hard feelings Christmas Story. Sit down by the fireplace and read and weep.

In a phone call from the temps office that I work for on Tuesday, the Christmas Spirit of the Past from the company had announced the plans to lay me off by the first of Januari. F**cking great but I am the choosen one together with the Ghost of Christmas Present along with his entire Department of Concurrent Events. This restructuring will result in the reduction of the busdrivers the ones that made some mistakes are chucked out.

Despite being able to provide instantaneous hi-def visualizations of events happening simultaneously anywhere around the world, the Ghost of Christmas Present’s capabilities have been largely superseded by the rise of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, making his offerings redundant and too expensive to maintain.

Spirit reminded he will still retain the services of the Ghosts of Christmas Future and Past, along with their entire staffs. He announced that that the remaining departments will continue to provide a valuable function in the Christmas Spirit’s operations by continuing to leverage the blissful memories of Christmases of long ago as well as demonstrate the pain and despair that will occur if the target doesn’t reform his ways.

Average Boss
“Nostalgia and dread have always been what ends up redeeming the scrooges anyway,” The temps office Spirit said on the call.

These organizational changes were necessary to reduce costs and recover from three straight holiday seasons of stagnant growth in Spirit’s mission to restore hope to humanity and bring together estranged family members.

The Ghost of Christmas Present never saw the layoffs coming.

The Christmas Spirit expects to reduce operating expenses by a unknown percentage and is confident he will still be able to meet his business objectives of turning grouches, grinches and scrooges into tolerable timetable for the traveling by bus human beings.

A look into the future

 

The life-like imagery and special effects produced by the three Ghosts have always looked impressive but was expensive, forcing Spirit to do a full cost benefits analysis for each department. Unfortunately for the Ghost of Christmas Present, Spirit’s review made the outcome all too clear.

The Christmas Spirit’s analysis confirmed his suspicions that the Ghost of Christmas Present was too expensive to keep on the payroll and was not nearly as effective as Past and Future in making holiday grouches reconsider their anti-social ways.

“With mixed emotions, we regret to announce that the Ghost of Christmas Present has to be seeking for opportunities outside the company,” said Spirit. “He built a strong foundation in allowing us to see how our target accounts were ruining the lives of their family or demoralizing their employees.”

Spirit says that if his account managers need to know what was going on in some house across town,”now, we can just check their Facebook status updates or read their tweets.”

The Spirit of Christmas says it simply does not make sense to carry the expense of a six-figure executive salary when these capabilities can be provided at little to no cost. He then demonstrated on the webcast what social network applications can do by revealing a Facebook post about one of his targeted accounts.







  

” Spirit said. “It really is a beautiful thing.”

Additionally, a Facebook status update can reveal how holiday-impaired grouches can negatively affect the quality of life of their employees during the Christmas season. He showed this screenshot as evidence.

Spirit said that prior to the announcement, the Ghosts had visited him in his bedroom, each over the course of three nights to plead their case.

“The Ghost of Christmas Present really disappointed me and didn’t show me very much,” Spirit said. “All I saw were other people sleeping. Although I now have an interesting story about our director to tell at this year’s holiday party.”

He could have become a good man

 Spirit revealed that the Ghost of Christmas Past showed him as a young upstart corporate director and how much joy he experienced in restoring hope and faith in Christmas, saying “I was reminded of how much I love what we do, how we make a difference in people’s lives, and how hot that one girl from accounting was.”

“Christmas Future had a great presentation,” Spirit explained to the hotshots and the blokes from the provence of Friesland. “Once he showed me that the decision to drop Christmas Present and make some changes in our tax liabilities and investing in new systems will give us a double digit growth over the next five years,. . .well that sealed it.”

The Ghost of Christmas Present was understandably distraught with the news that his lifelong career had recently come to an end, saying “I only wish I had seen this coming.”

What happened to the Merry days of Christmas

Because his only skill is quickly being replaced by another driver after the first of Januari, the Ghost of Christmas Present is worried about what will come next, especially considering that his former colleague Christmas Future kept giving him knowing glances of pity as he left the building.

When reached for comment, the Ghost of Christmas Present still maintained that his services are invaluable.

“You won’t get that on a ‘what are you doing now’ status update,” Present said.

Have a better Christmas than me.

The Old Sailor,



How to be yourself.......here are some timeless tips

Dear Bloggers,

Today I’d like to share a few of my favorite timeless tips for improving your social life. As we are all thinking that facebook, twitter and hyves are the answer of having success in life. Wrong answer the main key in this network is you as a person, not a wannabee you.


Here are six of them.

1. Be aware of building walls.

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”

The ego wants to divide your world. It wants to create barriers, separation and loves to play the comparison game. The game where people are different compared to you, the game where you are better than someone and worse than someone else. All of that creates fear. And so we build walls. But putting up walls tends to in the end hurt you more than protect you.

So how can you start building bridges instead? One way is to choose to be curious about people. Curiosity is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your fear.

Another way is to start to see yourself in other people. To get that there is no real separation between you and other people.

That may sound vague. So one practical suggestion and thought you may want to try for a day is that everyone you meet is your friend.

Another thing you can try is to see what parts of yourself you can see in someone you meet. Try it out and see what you find.

2. Your relationships are in your mind.

“As you think so shall you be! Since you cannot physically experience another person, you can only experience them in your mind. Conclusion: All of the other people in your life are simply thoughts in your mind. Not physical beings to you, but thoughts. Your relationships are all in how you think about the other people of your life. Your experience of all those people is only in your mind. Your feelings about your lovers come from your thoughts. For example, they may in fact behave in ways that you find offensive. Their actions are theirs, you cannot own them, you cannot be them, you can only process them in your mind.”

“It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting.”



How you choose to interpret people and your relationships makes a huge difference. So much of our relationships may be perceived to happen out there somewhere.

But as mentioned in tip #1 in this article, your underlying frame of mind – do you build bridges or walls? – will determine much about your interactions both new people and people you know.

So you really have to go inside. You have to realize that your interpretations from the past are interpretations. Not reality. You have to take a look at your assumptions and expectations and thought habits. Find patterns that may be hurting you (and others). This isn’t easy. Or always pleasant. You may discover that you have had some negative underlying habits of thought for many years.

But to change you have to do it. Instead of just keep looking at yourself as some sort of unmoving and objective observer of the world and reality. A change in you could – over time – change your whole world.

3. Avoid being boring.

“The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out.”



Don’t prattle on about your new car for 10 minutes oblivious to your surroundings. Always be prepared to drop a subject when you start to bore people. Or when everyone is getting bored and the topic is starting to run out of steam.

One good way to have something interesting to say is simply to lead an interesting life. And to focus on the positive stuff. Don’t start to whine about your boss or your job, people don’t want to hear that. Instead, talk about your last trip somewhere, some funny anecdote that happened while you were buying clothes, your plans for the summer or something fun or exciting.

4. Focus outward, not inward.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”



A lot of people use the second, far less effective way. It is appealing because it’s about instant gratification and about ME, ME, ME! The first way – to become interested in people – perhaps works better because it makes you a pleasant exception and because the law of reciprocity is strong in people. As you treat people, they will treat you. Be interested in them and they will be interested in you.

5. Don’t get stuck in the questions.

“I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.”

If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute. One alternative is to mix questions with statements. Just say what band you are really into instead of asking what band they are into. Or say what you think about local sports team’s chances of winning the next game. Or, while using common sense, just what you are thinking about what is happening around you right now.

And then the conversation can flow on from there.

So open up and say what you think, share how you feel. And if someone shares an experience, open up too and share one of your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding and answer with short sentences. If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like you to invest too.

And like in so many areas in life, you can’t always wait for the other party to make the first move. When needed, be proactive and be the first one to open up and invest in the conversation.

6. Genuineness is awesome.

“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.”

I think that one of the most important things in a relationship of any kind is to be genuine. Few things are as powerful as genuine communication and letting the genuine you shine through. Without incongruence, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness.

It’s you to 100%.

It’s you with not only your words but you with your voice tonality and body language – which some say is over 90% of communication – on the same wavelength as your words. It’s you coming through on all channels of communication.

Being your geunine self – the one where you build bridges and are open and giving – will give you better results and more satisfaction in your day to day life because you are in alignment with yourself. And because people really like genuineness.

The Old Sailor,

Happy Fatfree Holidays for all

Dear Bloggers,


I am not the worlds example of being slim. And I do not feel the need to be that at all. Only trouble is that I have trouble to resist stuff that is high on the wrong kinds of calories and fat, and yes I love the good tradition of dining together during the holidays. Any other part of the holiday season is not bathering me at all. Normally I have been working nearly every Christmas or New Years.

We are heading in to the party season now, and that can spell disaster for many people trying to watch their weight and stay healthy. Christmas is always going to be a time when we gain a few extra pounds due to the foods that we eat which are both are richer and more readily available than throughout the rest of the year.

Certainly it is very important to let your hair down now and again and to enjoy the odd treat and luxury, but what can you do if you want to hold on to your figure over the coming weeks. Follow my tips to ensure you enjoy your Christmas parties without looking like a stuffed turkey at the end of it all.

Don't be afraid to say no. It isn't unusual to get invites to many parties, meals or social events during December and the New Year. Trying to keep everybody happy will only lead to massive excesses and probable weight gain. Be selective, try to keep the nights out evenly spaced over the weeks, instead of all back to back. (Being drunk on a daily base is a regular life but not that healthy, I figured this out the hard way by trying it.)

'You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink'. You may have a busy social calendar over the next few weeks, but that doesn't mean you have to push the excesses to the limit. If it's a meal out, you could limit yourself to a main and a starter. If you have a few drinking nights out lined up, then aim to reduce the amount of alcohol you consume. Try something non alcoholic in between drinks (or even better still a glass of water), this way you could halve the amount of alcohol you have over the evening.

Choose the healthier options. For example as a starter melon balls or anything else based on fruit or veggies and soups are generally quite good choices. For mains try chicken and fish dishes without sauces or gravies. (if your not allergic to seafood like me.) Finally deserts are usually the hardest to get right. Basically anything that contains cream, pastries and sauces is going to be high in calories and saturated fat, so perhaps a better option would be to share one between two or totally skip them.

Burn away the excesses. Whatever calories you put in to your body will either be stored as fat or burned off to fuel movement. So my final tip is simply to be more active. Walk to and from the night out, if it's safe to do so. Dance as much as possible if that's an option and lastly try to avoid sitting down all night, instead try pottering around. Unless you have health issues of course that might get you into trouble. I do my excercises with the Nintendo Wii together with my kids we have loads of fun. So there we have 2 good things in one pleasurable moment.

Happy Holidays to you all

Christmas only comes once a year and if you are in good health and physical shape then a couple of weeks of excess probably won't do you any harm. If however you are carrying a little too much weight already (like myself) and the nearest thing you get to regular exercise is walking to and from the car then a month of over indulgences could just push your health over the edge. So enjoy yourself, but just don't forget that your health can and will suffer if you over consume for a prolonged period of time. I know that it is not easy in the beginning but believe me. I’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Happy Holidays to you all.

The Old Sailor,

Oh the weather outside is.........

Dear Bloggers,


Today it is a nice and sunny autumn day but thios will change rapidly by the end of the week.

The balmy temperatures of today will be a distant memory as winter weather will arrive in Northern parts of The Netherlands this week, the wind will get from colder areas and snow is expected on Thursday or Friday at the latest, just in time to put a chill into travelers planning for the next week's holiday weekend. Saint Nicholas his presents might even arrive a bit later due to the weather.

The good news, forecasters at the National Weather Service say, is that the snow showers expected at the end of this week but it will not be that much.Next weeks weekend will be a different story, however. A cold stream is bringing plenty of moisture to the area is expected to work its way towards the Southern parts of the country, the forecast said this morning. From Saturday morning through Sunday morning 6 to 10 centimeters of snow likely will fall in the Coastal areas, and after that the rest of the country might get some wet snow.

While the cold air stream is expected to blow over by Thursday, travelers in the northern regions should expect pretty chilly winds and below zero temperatures. The crews will be busy on the highways and main roads treating them with de-icer and throwing down salt and sand for traction.

Next week on Tuesday the weather could be cool and showery as a weak storm continues to drop out of the East. Colder air will sweep in from Poland early next week, hitting hardest east of the country and pushing temperatures into the single digits. Even below numbers at night are mentioned, so maybe it is time to find the ice skates. The weather should improve by the 4th of December but according to the weather stations this might become a serious cold winter in Europe.

"This is the time of year when drivers need to change their mindset to winter driving," The weatherman said. "Remember to bring warm clothes with you, a shovel so you can dig yourself out, don't follow too close and be sure to check with ANWB on weather conditions before you get out on the roads."

Getting a christmas feeling already eventhough that is a bit early for me. I will ignite the fireplace and drink some hot chocolate with rum.

The Old Sailor,

What is your biggest fear?

Dear Bloggers,


This week I talked to a young lady in the bus during one of the lonely and stormy nightshifts all of a sudden we entered the subject of loosing a person near to you. She told about the loss of her dad, when his business stranded due to the financial trouble a few years ago he did not see a way out anymore and took his own life. Even it is to discuss if you can do this to your family yes or no. I had a really deep conversation with her about the reason why we should be here? I found the following qoute of Natalie Babbit on the web and I think that this a better way of understanding this silly fear of death.

"Do not fear death... only the unlived life.
You don't have to live forever;
You just have to live."

It is natural to feel fear of the unknown. In regard to death, this fear may be of what might happen during the process of dying, such as the pain of a terminal illness, nausea, vomiting, or even fearing abandonment by those around you. The fear of death may also be perpetuated by the sadness of the family around the dying person, or the hopelessness of the doctor, or the nurses who feel they may have failed to keep the person alive. However, it is through death that the dying person can be released from the great burden of the diseased body.

Death is not an enemy, it is a natural fact of life, a stage of our existence, and a transition or doorway between planes of reality. Death has its own harmony with nature just as a tree loses its leaves every fall. We don't feel that it is unjust or that the tree failed to stay fully alive when it goes dormant through the winter. It is natural. Neither should doctors and nurses feel they have failed if after every endeavor a patient dies. Actually, it may be better to let a person take the opportunity to die peacefully rather than trying to force him or her to remain alive in a suffering body. In other words, it can be better to make peace with death than try to conquer it.

The process of dying can be rough, but it is temporary. The best thing to do is to focus our consciousness as much as we can in a way that will help us reach the highest realm possible after death. Of course, it always may be a little sad to leave our home and loved ones, but if we are going to a bigger and more beautiful home, then what is there to be sorry about? It is joyful to be going to a better place. This sort of joy will also help divert our attention from any pain we may be feeling.

The primary fear of death is, of course, not knowing what we will be or where we will go in the afterlife. If you are afraid of where you might go after death, be surrendered and know that fate, or God, will put you where you will best learn whatever you need to learn. The universe is based on compassion. It is not a punishment that we are here, but it is because of our desires for the experience of material existence and bodily sense pleasure. Each life is meant for us to learn more about ourselves, and about who we are. Death is not simply a matter of getting old or sick and then dying. Natural death happens when you have finished doing what you were meant to do in this life. You may have wanted to do more or not, but when you have done what you were meant to do, you will move on. Nature will arrange it that you will leave this realm. Each life is like a classroom wherein you learn a certain amount, and go through a certain number of lessons or tests. Then you graduate to the next class. We can learn willingly or unwillingly. We can cooperate or be uncooperative. We can repeatedly keep going through it until we learn all of the necessary lessons to go on to the next level. That is our choice. And if you have failed any of the tests, don't worry. You'll have the chance to try it again. Therefore, let go of any fear and let "God" or who or whatever you believe in put you where you will make the most progress.

Actually, to fear death reveals one's misunderstanding of life. It is a fear of knowing one's real self, which is beyond the bodily identification. It is that with which some people hesitate to acquaint themselves. Thus, if a person has known nothing else but one's bodily identity, losing the body can put one into fear. Yet, how can one ever think he was the body when it is plain to see that he came into this temporary world through birth and must leave it through death? All of our possessions, relationships, even our talents and skills are all temporary. So how can our body be anything more? Being afraid of death is like being afraid to give up an old and worn-out garment.

In this regard, the mind is the root cause of fear and suffering. However, this fear and anguish can be a gift because it shows where the mind gets caught in the desired model of thinking how things should be. It projects its own level of reality out on the world and its perception of things. When things are not the way we want them to be, or think they should be, the mind has difficulty accepting it and we suffer. We then often get angry, anxious, confused, or fall into fear. To enjoy freedom from suffering, we have to grow beyond our attachments, ego, and desires. Thus, the awareness of our approaching death plays an important role in helping us transcend our temporary worldly attachments, and to increase our development and qualities that are offered through our existence in different bodies or different planes of consciousness.

So an important point is that we do not have to be afraid of death, for we are all immortal. When we look around us, this is plain to see. Every winter the trees, plants and grass go dormant and practically die, yet they return to life and display their blooms in the spring. Even if a tree dies and becomes soil, we can see that out of it new life rises from the remnants of its decay. Even if the water of a pond disappears, it forms the steam from which clouds are created, which rain down the potential for new life. We witness many forms of transition of the same energy. It is an endless cycle in which we all participate. In the same way, our physical body is shed at death, but our life persists on another level. Thus, through death we also find renewal.

As it is stated in the ancient Bhagavad-gita, "Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you. . . nor in the future shall any of us cease to be."

While we live in this material world, death helps alleviate and release us from our accumulated attachments, positions, and superficial desires. Death shows us what is not important, and makes us give up those things which can no longer help, or which keeps us from understanding who we really are. Even though we are here to experience the innumerable aspects of material existence, if we are too caught up in it, we will never understand our spiritual identity. Thus, death is an assistant which forces us to come to grips with what is temporary, and to give it up. It is another step in the learning process, to come closer to what we really are.

Unfortunately, if one is overly attached to his or her body, position, belongings and relations, death can seem like a severe punishment. Yet, it can be a gift or even a blessing if you are in deep kinds of pain. For the materialist who is afraid of losing everything, death is like the grip that crushes. With a spiritual understanding, one can find a meaning in dying.

In the end, there comes a time when we need to let ourselves, or the person dear to us, leave the body, just as when a person needs to rest. It can be wrong to resist the process of death, whether it be yours or that of another. So we should not begrudge another of his death. We should not be unwilling to let him or her go. As some of us are not able to live on but we should not be selfish and try to “rescue” the ones that cannot find another way out. It is his or her chance to enter a better realm to continue with his progress. He or she is not leaving us, he or she is simply going on before us.

Death is not an enemy, it can be like the friend who cuts the chain that holds the anchor which prevents one from sailing to greater horizons. This is the way we become closer to attaining freedom from this earthly plane, and from the dictates of the senses, the service of the body, and the impressions in the mind.

on the fear bus

I should put up a sign which says: “The one who fears death should take the next bus home.” I am afraid that my boss will not be very amused if I would do this for real.

The Old Sailor,