No money but loads of future left

Dear Bloggers,

Childhood memories are special for everyone. I have a very happy memory of my childhood and always reminisce it with nostalgia. I was born and brought up in a small family which included my mother, father, brother and my two elder sisters. I have very fond memories of playing in our backyard, climbing trees to pluck fruits at the neighbors garden, going to the park and beach and enjoying life in general. Nobody was worried about the near future and as long we had something to eat, we were not complaining.
My dad was a operator at the coffee factory and my mother a housewife. Of all the memories, one particular memory is very important and taught me the importance of saving some money.


A nostalgic tube radio from my childhood years

Furthermore we had to help out with my dad’s hobby which was sometimes hard labour. In the evening hours we had our meal, a shower and watched some television. Some nights I had to go to bed and had a hard time to fall asleep. On my bedroom I had a nostalgic tube radio. The long copper spring wire was working as antenna and was spanned from one side to the other. Out here I listened to the programmes broadcasted by pirates like Mi Amigo, Radio Caroline and Veronica, sometimes I listened to classic stations from Russia or whatever country it was broadcasted from. The soft glow of the radio gave it somekind of mystic feeling.



We were absolutely not the richest people but we had an ok life. Eventhough my school friends went on holiday to far destinations and spend their money on daytrips, we stayed at home and slept in tents in the garden of the ponyfarm of my dad. I never felt it as a punishment as we grew up in a tourist village. And on saturday we were allowed to go out at a certain age of course. During the summer we earned some money for the food of the pony population as in the winter there was not much going on. Maybe other people found that we were pretty poor but it never bothered me. Only thing that has played my mind that we never ever went somewhere during the days that I at least can remember.



One summer, our family car suddenly broke down. Repair was the first option although it would cost a hell load of money to get this fixed.My father did not earn a very high salary and it was very difficult for us to raise that amount of money suddenly. Luckily, my father and mother had a habit of saving small amount of money regularly. This money was not touched but kept aside in case of emergencies. This amount turned out to be the exact amount required for the new second hand car. We were happy that the crisis had turned out right. Slowly we are getting into a financial crisis and we might loose our house as the mortgage puts on a lot of pressure as I only work 24 to 30 hours a week and that is not enough. My life is becoming a bad soap opera. Yes we are having the Blues, listening to myself saying: “We may be poor and there is nothing left to loose, I love you all with a smile and sometimes a small glass with booze”.


My favourite countrysinger Ilse de Lange

I realized for just a moment today that my life seems more like a country song than anything else now that I have Fibromyalgia. You know… lost my wife nearly, lost my car, lost my job and now we are getting closer that we would loose the house!!! Only it would be more like this: (Let me preface with I am NOT a song writer)

“I Lost My Sanity…Maybe it’s in The Refrigerator?“

You don’t have to touch me today, do you? I hope not, cause I might lose it if you try…You see I can’t take the slightest pat on the backside…get any closer and I might have to cry.

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

You don’t need a home cooked dinner, do you? If so you’re gonna have to cook it for yourself! It’s alright with me if you do, just to get some rest..an hour or two would be worth all the bitchin that you’re gonna do!

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

You see…today I lost my phone my keys my car my wife and the little bit of sanity that I had left. Bought a microwave meal and picked up a milkshake at the local drive through of Mc D. I got it all wrong but it seemed so right until I realized I was losing in this fight.

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

I’m gettin to the end of this little country song, about something that will plague me for my whole life long. I just hope they find a cure before I lose again and find my car keys in the door, my phone in the fridge, my wife where she belongs, and my sanity….well I still haven’t found that one yet!!!!



My children learn to spend money but also how to save a little bit so there will be some light at the end of the tunnel. I learn them to enjoy small things like following butterflies in the garden, going a day to the beach with the whole family or a picknic in the park. Riding our push bikes for short trips through the forrest or even a bbq with some friends can make my day and give that holiday feeling.

It is not that bad today sailor

We were helped by the good habit of saving practiced by my parents. Before this incident, I was a spendthrift and use to spend all of my pocket money. This incident changed my way of thinking. I started to save even a little bit from my pocket money. I took to heart the saying, "Little drops of water makes the mighty ocean." Till today, I save money in whatever way I can. I have impressed upon my children the importance of saving money and have got them to do the same.

The Old Sailor,

An ice cold woman or is it our own mistake being a man?

Dear Bloggers,

This week I have been setting my mind to the differences between man and woman. I hear a lot of conversations in my daily life. Most interesting I found this one. It was the frustrating world of two men having a relationship with their wife who was getting frigid. As they were in the same age group as me. It made me wander why women actually ended up in this stage of life? Somehow we forgot that normal men are hunters and women only need a man to protect her kids and get them something to eat. In those days no one knew about veneral diseases and men shagged everything that was suitable. Ok they did not get that old as us but it must have been a fantastic life for men.



To my bewilderment, the more a man tries to entice his wife to be better in bed, the colder she is likely to get. With my own needs screaming within me, a man can be expected to start emphasizing sex, and yet this usually sets off alarm bells within a woman. Despite her husband’s best intentions, she could soon end up feeling devastated, imagining he married her simply because he wanted a legal prostitute!



Men typically dismiss such wifely outbursts as complete nonsense. The sad reality, however, is that the best of us are in danger of lapsing into shallow sex, dragging our wives down with us. Even more disturbing is that we men seldom sense when we are on this decline. Women, on the other hand, tend to be acutely perceptive of what we are really doing to them. The popularity of porn proves this male tragedy. As unbelievable as it sounds, men are capable of so demeaning themselves as to have sexual interaction with ink on paper or electrons in a computer! As if this were not shocking enough, they can engage in this depravity and barely be aware that they are degrading and depersonalizing what was meant to be the pinnacle of interpersonal relations. If so many men can fall into having a sexual experience with a piece of paper, each of us live a knife edge away from sometimes treating our wives as no more than a lump of flesh and not even realize how much we have debased both ourselves and the most precious person in our lives.

The shocking truth is that the most common reason for female frigidity is that their men are not the great lovers they imagine themselves to be.



As an egg cannot burst into life unless it is kept warm, and plants can flower only under the right conditions, so a normal woman can reach the pinnacle of sexual passion and abandonment only if she feels loved, valued, secure, relaxed and physically refreshed.

When, instead of doing more to foster these feelings, a man tries to overcome his wife’s sexual inhibitions by focusing on the physical, she slips from feeling secure and relaxed to feeling pressured to perform. She slumps from feeling valued as a person to feeling reduced to a toy. Under the devastation of this emotionally crippling insult, her sexual passion dries up. Her sex drive will most likely vanish for as many weeks or years as she continues to feel that this is how her husband sees her. On the other hand, if it gradually sinks into the core of her being that she is loved, honored and cherished by her husband, her yearning to sexually thrill him will skyrocket.



Your wife’s passion is the culmination of all the feelings you have generated within her, not just in the last ten minutes, but every time you have been in her presence in the last days and weeks and even months. If a woman is cold in bed, it is usually because the way she is treated outside of bed has left her cold.

In making a woman feel loved, a hug not intended to lead to anything, is worth twenty passionate kisses when is sex on the agenda. When a husband does little to make his wife feel valued except when he wants his sexual needs met, acting like the world’s greatest romantic for what to him are the few critical moments, will not prevent him from being a miserable failure as a lover. Rightly or wrongly, she will feel not loved, but the victim of a cold-hearted con artist who is unconcerned about her and wants only to manipulate her for his selfish gratification.

A woman’s hearing fails if the only time she hears, ‘I love you,’ is during foreplay. To her, the words end up sounding remarkably like, ‘I love conning you into serving my needs.’ And, ‘You’re beautiful,’ begins to sound like, ‘Just forget about your feelings – I have. All I care about is using your body as something to masturbate inside of.’



It’s too late to suddenly transmute into the perfect lover when you want sex. If how you treat your wife then is inconsistent with how you treat her the rest of the time, your attempts to arouse her will affirm not your lovemaking skills but your hypocrisy. The show you put on might be so convincing that you fool yourself into thinking you are loving her, but she will see right through it and feel not loved, but violated. Hypocrites arouse in their victims neither love nor lust but pure disgust. Under those circumstances your failure to sexually arouse her would prove not her frigidity but her intelligence.

A particularly important time for a man to show love is the few minutes immediately after he has been sexually satisfied. At this, the very time when most men feel like sleeping, a hormone is usually released within a woman that heightens her alertness and longing for romance. This makes it a critical time for bonding.

A man does not deliberately create his wife’s coldness. He simply becomes preoccupied with other things and so his wife’s feelings fade from his consciousness. Unfortunately, this preoccupation means his wife has slipped in his priorities. No matter how much we kid ourselves, our priorities are a most revealing measure of the genuineness of our love.



It is generally realized that for good sex most women need genital caressing during foreplay. A common complaint women have about this is that their partners keep pressing too hard. This mistake, however, is merely a symptom of the real problem. At the heart of such matters is that the wife has not taught her husband how to please her. In most cases this can be traced to what is commonly called the male ego – the tendency for a weak man to crumple, pathetically thinking himself a failure, if forced to admit to himself that he knows less about his wife’s sexual feelings than she does.

Let’s face facts. Every woman is unique. No one can become a good lover merely by reading books or from former partners. The only way anyone can learn how to sexually thrill a specific woman is by responding to guidance she gives. Many couples tragically miss out because the woman is too timid to provide the feedback necessary for good sex. Usually it’s because the husband has given the impression that he is that weak sort of male who can never learn from the only person who truly knows how to thrill his wife – the woman herself. If you cannot learn from your wife, you might pass as an animal, but as a husband you are a failure.



What ignites a woman sexually varies enormously, not just from woman to woman, but from day to day. For example, studies have shown that, especially for a woman not on the pill, male body odors that disgust her most of the time arouse her at a certain point in her menstrual cycle. Likewise, what visually appeals to her sexually varies according to the time of month.

You can only get to know your wife’s sexuality the same way you get to know her personality – from her, not from books or videos or guesswork. Getting inside her body without getting inside her mind will end up a hollow experience for both of you.

Ok...Let’s Get Practical

Treat your computer as a football and you won’t have a computer for long. You might keep the pieces but it will be incapable of meeting your computing needs. A few seconds’ fun would turn you into a loser. Treat a wife like an inflatable doll and you won’t have a wife for long, even if you still have the pieces.



Many of the most significant things in kindling a woman’s sexual feelings are quite different to what makes a man feel like sex. The average man can see the link between maintaining a car and that car’s performance, but he seldom sees the link between maintaining his wife’s awareness of his love and his wife’s sexual performance.



Here are pointers as to how to help a woman know she is loved. From this will flow astounding benefits, including bringing her to the peak of her sexuality.

Praise her. Regularly find things you like about her physical appearance, her character and her abilities, and verbalize your admiration. Appreciate all that she does for you and freely express your gratitude.

Consult your wife before making decisions. Share your plans and dreams with her. Be open and honest with her about every aspect of your life.

Realize that for your wife to be the full woman you need her to be, she needs close women friends. Don’t feel threatened by this. It is part of what makes her a woman. You married her because she is a woman, not a man, so let her be the full woman she is.

Regularly ask her such things as:

* What can I do to make you feel more loved?

* What can I do to boost your confidence and help you feel good about yourself?

* What can we do to make sex more exciting and fulfilling for you?


Perhaps you are scared to ask such questions for fear she will say something like, “Help more around the house.” Be brave! If this really is high on her priorities for feeling loved, then it is important. More is at stake than a bit of housework. It touches her emotional well-being and your entire marriage. Only she knows the critical elements in making her feel loved.

It is not easy to be a modern man and please a woman her needs.

The Old Sailor,

Again Nothing Happened in my life

Dear Bloggers,


By now you will have probably heard that last Saturday (21-May-2011 for future historians) is the beginning of the end, the rapture. Don’t panic, please conduct yourselves in an orderly manner at the appointed time. I recommend congregating in open spaces with no overhead power lines or air traffic. Safety first.

Ok that’s enough fun. I have seen a number of stories regarding this alleged event and while many make note of the fact that the main promoter of this year’s doomsday has been wrong before I have not yet seen anyone attempt to put this latest foretelling in historical context. By one estimate there have been at least 275 end of the world predictions in the last two thousand years. 116 of those were predicted for the years 2000 to 2010. Hmmm.......Why were they all wrong and why had these people so many followers.

That’s a whole lot of wrongness right there. Those guys couldn’t have been more wrong if their name was W. Wrongly von Wrongenstein.

One of the more remembered failed apocalypses was the one predicted by William Miller for 1843. Offshoots of this group became the Seventh-day Adventist Church once the predicted day came and went without incident. Strange that it ended up in a new form of religion again.

While that is a memorable one in “recent” times, end of the world predictions go back to the first century. The writings attributed to Paul the Apostle, if read literally, imply that the end of the world would occur sometime in the first century. At least within the writer’s lifetime. As this obviously didn’t happen room was left for subsequent predictive hopefuls to insert their own dates for the apocalypse.

Here is a (small) sampling:

· Pope Clement I predicts the world could end at any time ~90CE

· Sextus Julius Africanus predicts Armageddon for 500CE

· John of Toledo Predicts the end of the world in 1186CE

· Pope Innocent III thinks the last date is 1284CE

· Gerard of Poehlde predicts the end of the world date to be 1306CE

· Melchior Hoffman thinks the real date is 1533CE
· Benjamin Keach put’s his money on 1689
· Charles Wesley (one of the founders of Methodism) goes for 1794CE as the date.
· The Jehovah’s Witnesses First predicted 1914 as the date to remember.
· Pat Robertson predicted 1982. This and other failed predictions do not seem to have dimmed his popularity in some circles.
· Peter Ruckman (an Independent Baptist Pastor) calculated the date to be around 1990-ish. Other than that he is a completely reliable source.
· The year 2000 alone had about 32 predictions of the “End Times” to contend with. We’re lucky to have made it out of that year alive. Or not.

Most disturbing is the number of Americans who believe that we are actually living in the end times. This specific prediction is laughed off as being naive or false teachings but the concept itself is embraced. Harold Camping may be ridiculed but the only thing that is fringe about his beliefs is that he dares put a date on them. Now that’s scary stuff right there. Think about that and try not to have your opinion of humanity lowered just a little.

Quite frankly, when I decided a few of weeks ago to post about this after the date predicted I had no idea that this would be taken up by the media to such an extent. Just goes to show; Harold Camping was “hot news”on Friday the 20 May. Her you are seeing it that any crazy thing can be news worthy – given a low enough threshold of “news”. Also Twitter had many tweets on this item.

Still, some good may come of all this hysteria. If we take the opportunity. If some research psychologists out there are willing to exploit the disappointment that is bound to strike the adherents of this belief we may gain some insight into the workings of the human mind. While it may seem like there is no overlap between you and those that hold the Earth to be ending soon the mechanisms that they use to deal with the eventual disillusionment are the same that help you function in everyday life.

Everyday we must reconcile the actions we take with the self image we have created. Sometimes this is easy, I’m a good person so I help out my co-workers when they are having trouble. Sometimes we run into difficulty; I’m honest but I also lied to my dad about being busy. Discrepancies like this can cause us discomfort.

Those who wake up today May 22nd to the realization that they are still here will have to do some fancy mental footwork to fit their belief in a failed prediction into the image of themselves as intelligent, rational people. Rich fodder for investigation into the human psyche.

By some estimates Harold Camping’s media empire is in control of millions of dollars worth of assets. How much of this will nice old Mr Camping be willing to part with in order to help those who have lost everything because they trusted him?

The depressing part is that the inevitable failure of this prophecy will have absolutely no impact on those who fancy themselves end of the world prognosticators. People will continue to generate beliefs based on untestable propositions. Those people will continue to influence others to their detriment. Ok let us go on with life than.

The Old Sailor,

Silent killer called Cancer

Dear Bloggers,

In my life there is an other person that struggles with the horrors of a partner who is dying of cancer. I guess that most of us know someone either closely related or far away like someone at work. But the feelings and the thoughts are turning around your stomach. Maybe you can imagine that someone you love will die slowly from cancer this disease is taking him or her out slowly.

Text : Stand hiker and read, who's remains are lying here, just remember that sooner or later this fate will hit you too

As a young kid, I have always had this naïve idea of what death was. Especially the kind that is preceded by illness. Hollywood portrays it as some thing that actually draws people together around some common cause – that of helping the ill one ease their last days here/ Wow, have I found that to not be true. One, what if you don’t die right away? All these people come together with that one cause, which doesn’t really exist for weeks, months or maybe years.

I know of one person’s husband who had cancer, and was “dying” of it for 2 years! That is a long time for someone given two months and what about the rest of the family, these must be though times. How many times can you say goodbye? Furthermore, as the ill one, how long can you go on being teased by death with the promise of all it brings in the afterlife, only to continue to have to endure earthly pains, joys, struggles, and all that? For example he was given 2 months to live initially. At that 2-month mark, he had been through a terrible bout with chemo, and actually looked forward to more, if it was going to make me better in the end. Well, it didn’t and wouldn’t. I respected this Though decission of him: “I will have no chemo any more, or any other treatment”. The goal is to keep me comfortable as long as possible. “Hey, I am not in pain”. However, we have experienced some bodily changes that caused me to see and experience you differently – and the treatment for each of these, has proven to be helpful in accepting all the discomfort.

The docs were surprised at how “well” you were doing. Your spirits are high – no, you are not awaiting a miracle or some other magical cure. You are not going to Mexico for alternative treatments. It is simply just waiting. Had a great discussion tonight with my partner about how life gets us to decisions. Do we make several “perfect” decisions that get us to the right place….or is life really just a serious of millions of smaller decisions that move us all over creation to get us to where we are. In truth, I have always fancied myself to have the “right” answer – eventually. Yet, when I look back on my life, I see a set of random, spontaneous decisions that have given me the richest set of experiences. Not goal oriented at all! And the ones that I have tried to carefully orchestrate have been the most frustrating or forces. Then there are those things about which I have actively made the little and big decisions to NOT deal with. Those are the most frustrating and disappointing in that they always come back to bite you. They are the lessons that life keeps giving you over and over until you hopefully learn them. I am just not that bright.


Shocking news when they tell you that your time is nearly up

I knew years ago that my father had control issues with me. That is fine as a youngster. But, not as a 43 year old, otherwise successful, man. I still let myself get manipulated, shamed, guilted and yes, controlled, by him as I am still the youngest of the family. I am a strong, smart, successful person in most walks of my life, and plenty independent overall. Yet I cave at the idea of having to stand up to my father as everything I did was out of line, not really structured or at least not steady as a family income. At least my life has not been boring at all. I know that he is afraid that I would make more funny moves like going back to sea again. Strange as I have no fear of dying at all.



I guess it all gets back to those dying days. Or my friends dying days. He said: “I am not yet dead, and have a chance to continue living – with all of life’s challenges – until I get a few of these left over lessons right. And I won’t get it right once. I have to get it right many times, over and over, and I will still mess up. I can apologize to all those I have hurt. It may or may not be enough. I can own my part in what has gone wrong – that through my inaction I caused. It may not be enough”.



You have the “gift”, he was told, of knowing that he was going to die imminently, but nobody knows how long that will be. “Honestly, I felt cheated that I had to live longer than my expected 2 months”. He told me one day these words made a deep impact on me. We are so used to getting the right answers that we expect 2 months nothing more and nothing less. After he got over the fact that he had “beaten” that deadline, I realized that he had fully geared up to leave.



But, I have time left to really tie up some loose ends, to say heartfelt goodbyes, to try to repair some of the behaviors I have resented in myself – those which have unintentionally hurt others around me that I love. Can I do that? We’ll see. It’s totally up to me. Will the loved ones accept it from me? We’ll see. If it would hit me than I don’t have a lot of time or chances to get it right this time.

The Old Sailor,

My mobile teenage kid

Dear Bloggers,


Today I am going to write about my “mobile hooked” teenage daughter. A few years ago we gave her a mobiole phone so she could reach us whenever it was needed. And yes stupid us (the parents) did not change her account as she was not using it for anything else yet. When I got the last phone bill I nearly got a heart attack. I explained to her that everything she does is costing us money and yes she could have asked us if it was ok that she was using internet on her phone and that she was texting a lot with her friends.



We had a tough conversation with the three of us. (my daughter, my wife and me) I explained to her that she had been using her phone so much the last month and in cash she used what I would be doing in a whole year. We agreed that we should look for a more suitable contract and a different phone that can log on to the modem at home. Further the phone will be used only during the day and at bedtime it will not go to the bedroom. I will not have a teenager in my house who is on call 24/7. As I have met already several teens that are completely hooked to their cell phones. And yes I understand that living in the countryside as a teenager is bloody boring. Is there anything that you can do in their empty life?


Lack of sleep gives this effect

Teenagers! Always on call. Especially here in this small towns with “nothing to do”, where many of them—we’ve come to discover thanks to the good old fashioned local newspapers —sleep with mobile phones under their pillow. Important texts (“Seeing if you’re awake”) simply cannot be missed!

Teenagers are texting all the live long day and continue to do so even when they enter their Twilight-covered sleeping chambers for what sounds like the most restless, unproductive, vibration-under-the-pillow sleep I’ve ever heard of:

At home my nearly twelve year old daughter did the same she slept with her mobile phone under her pillow so she doesn’t miss “emergency” texts – “like if a friend broke up with her boyfriend.” Her schoolfriend is doing the same and is also available for urgent overnight correspondence, such as, “Hey, seeing if you’re awake.” My daughter produced and got as many as 100 texts while in bed. “I just don’t feel like myself if I don’t have my phone near me or I’m not on it,” she said. (We did not know it and explained her that there is more in real life.)



This semi-sleep is being dubbed “on call” by teens, parents and doctors at the local Hospital in Heerenveen, where they are seeing an alarming number of inexplicably exhausted children admitted for evaluation. Yes, you read that correctly! Kids these days are texting so often they’re actually disrupting Stage 4 REM sleep. This is the same stage of sleep that’s important for processing the day’s learning experiences so, yes, in this case mobile phones literally are affecting children’s brains and making them dumber.

And lest you think this is just that I am trying to create a trend out and that I am a grumpy old and irritated bus driver than I can tell you, it’s not! The Central Bureau for Statistics, which is an organisation in the Netherlands that researches things, reports that in a 2010 study on teen mobile phone usage, four in five teens reported sleeping with their bedazzled Blackberrys and iPhones or other kind of Smartphones next to their beds. Some even reported falling asleep with the device still in their hand. Can you imagine how that last one went down?


Application called Data Counter

“Dear Jenny, it’s Kelly. Can you believe Rob? I mean OMG WTF!1!. Did you see how he was looking at…” Zzzz…

Holy crap, Kelly! Wake the fuck up! We need to know what Rob did with what’s her face! Stop sleeping! That’s a sign of weakness! And yes, weakness was purposefully chosen, by me, for that sentence, for this reason:

Sometimes teens answer late-night calls and messages less out of excitement than fear. In focus groups convened by the CBS, some teens related stories of friends or acquaintances who became angry or insulted when text messages or phone calls weren’t immediately returned. “As a result, many teens we heard from said they feel obligated to return texts and calls as quickly as possible, to avoid such tensions and misunderstandings,” the report said.


Application Kiwi to keep track of mobile usage for € 0.99

The data only gets worse from there. A medical centre study found that teens average 33.5 emails and texts per night and are often woken from a sound sleep by a message.They discovered that teens sending more than 120 texts per day were more likely to get less than the recommended eight hours of sleep per night and doze off in class.

I’l end this little tirade with what must be the saddest quote from a teenager I’ve read in a long, long while, take it away:

“When I’m texting someone I don’t feel alone. When you don’t have your phone, you feel incomplete.”

OMG (omg means Oh My God) what the hell is happening. You know another way you can not be alone? By standing next to a real, live person and talking to them. Also, where the heck are the parents?



The names I used are fictive just to give you an idea of what teens are chatting about, as I do not like to see anyone being harmed by their parents as they might read this blog. And that is absolutely not the plan. I think that we as parents should learn and read more about how our kids are growing up in a fast and dangerous mobile and internet world. Our lives were in that case a lot simpler those days. At least try to keep track of what your kids are doing and try to keep track of their costs. I made a plan with provider KPN to keep track of data and text usage with some simple to install Android apps and of course we have changed her contract which can be adjusted every month.

Try to be a good mobile parent and explain to your teenager kid that things you do cost money. In Dutch we would say: “De zon komt op voor niks en gaat zinloos onder.” I will try to translate The Sun rises for nothing and will go down useless.

The Old Sailor,

The day that I nearly lost everything.

Dear Bloggers,

So here's the scenario. About a year ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and I did get the the Talk. The doctor in question gives a lot of these talks, and is determined that we shouldn't miss a single word. We are shown a figure with red dots for the trigger points, and she begins to describe what's happened, in mind-numbing detail. I mention that I'm a guy that learned some Latin and Medical terms had my interrest for a long time, and I knew about Rheumatic problems already quite a few things as I have been strawling through medical books and of course on the internet. We have to listen. To all of it. She is, she tells us, the expert, and no-one for miles around knows as much about Rheuma as she does (My doc at home does probably know nothing at all at least I share that opinion).

I kind of loose my temper a bit as I realize that I am stuck on this bloody sickness for the rest of my days, The doc ignores me and disappears for a short while. We might need her again in the future whispers my wife and I am ashamed of myself. Due to the fact that there will be not much progress in the coming year, I will definately lose my job and have less income. My boss is giving me notice and I can sense that this is difficult for both of us. I had so much fun doing this job but my body decided in a hard way that this was not going o work any longer. I hated myself for quite a while and had to get my feet back on the ground and suite myself with a new style of living. A slower and more balanced life would do myself good. I will compare to someone that is stuck in a body of an eighty years old man who has been working hard all his live but now his worn out body is holding him back due to pain all over. Accepting it is not that easy, the pain is something you learn to live with. My wife told me one day that no one is getting happier when I am complaining, I guess that she was right so I stopped doing that.

The doctor returns, I apologise very nicely (as I have been instructed by my wife), and we proceed. We are told again that we need to come back for some more tests on Monday. We are given some booklets to read ourselves and that was it. Totally devistated we leave the doctors room. All of a sudden some horrific pictures of the worst case scenario run through my brain (a man like me with what looks like a wheelchair and his head is hanging down on his chest; I'm still not sure what that was supposed to be).

In the time being at home, I worked myself back up to certain level and got back to work. I started a job to become a bus driver on a commuters bus for the summer season. If it would not work out with my body and brain, I could simply pull the plug as I am hired through a temps office. In the beginning it was hell as I had to stick a lot of information into my brain which was still foggy due to the amount of medication that I have been using to settle the pain level. I look at it as a drug user that becomes clean, that also takes a couple of weeks before the brain is clear again. 

The money is coming back in although the amount is lower and deducted from my dole money of course. Our holiday? we can simply skip as I am hired for the summer season. Again I feel tears burning as I cannot spend money on my loved ones. That's ok, says she and my kids are fine with it, I still feel like that I am failing somehow. We cannot go on our holiday, maybe next year. Whe sat down one evening when I was still home, we decided to sell this beautiful house and buy something a bit smaller as cleaning and doing the garden became to much for me and for my wife it is too much too handle on her own. Certainly we like to get a reasonable price for it, but still it is not been sold. But what about the housing market after the recession banks do not dare to take any risks anymore. In the mean time we are still living here and although the garden is getting more and more a mess. I mow the lawn and my eldest daughter is helping me with it. The rest of the garden is not in a great condition. Ah, That's ok, because we can sell it for abit less and move on. Hmmm......sounds like my wife gave up on it too. We have seen a nice house on internet with enough space for all of us and with a suitable garden. We would get on a lower mortgage and we could save a few euros to go out for a long weekend. That would be at least long enough for me. 

Well, at least we can sit at home and read... 

The Old Sailor,

When people stop talking.....it is awfully quiet on the bus

Dear Bloggers,

As the common readers know that I am driving commuters busses from town to town in the Northern regions of the Netherlands. During one of my journeys as a bus driver it all of a sudden came to me, I looked in the mirror to overview my passengers and even this ride is more than 40 kilometres absolutely no one was talking to any of the other passengers. I really started wandering what these people were doing during this long journey. I decided to observe each passenger closely for a while. Several are having earphones in and listen to music, others are pretty busy typing messages on there smart phones. Only one young lady was reading a book and two of them were dozed off into better dreams as they had a smile on their faces. One girl in the mirror stared back at me and had a bit of a gazed look in her eyes, problem was that she was sitting half way the bus otherwise we probably had chit chatted about the things that bother us in life. To me it occured that she was kind of disappointed in her fellow travellers or maybe she wanted to talk to someone but simply did not know how to start a conversation?



Twitter is cool. Wikis are neat. Hyves is, hmmm, good? And email is email. Facebook is also pretty usefull when friends live hundreds of kilometres away from you. These tools are all useful in helping us communicate with each other when we’re separated by great distances. They help us bridge the gap by providing fast, efficient means of communication. It doesn’t get more efficient than Twitter’s 140 character limit. But take a close look at these tools. They all share a common characteristic. They’re all based on written communication. Okay facebook has a chat option but I do not use it that much. While the written word may be very efficient for transferring information, it is not very effective at persuading people or making a real impact. And there is a tremendous difference between being effeicient and being effective..


Sure, we transfer the information that something is wrong and needs to be corrected. But that’s all we do, transfer information. Emails, Tweets, Wikis, and Hyves don’t help us move others to action. Action, not information, is what moves us toward continuous improvement and success. And nothing moves people to action more than the spoken word.

The written word is the information channel and speaking is the action channel.

Speaking is like a multichannel Surround Sound experience, in which dozens of channels simultaneously feed information to the human mind. These various channels communicate a richly textured, multilayered message from speaker to listener. These channels consist of :

· Posture

· Facial expression

· Energy level

· Eye communication

· Vocal inflection

· Vocal intonation

· Volume

· Gestures and other physical actions

· And more

All of these non-verbal cues help transfer not just the information of the narrative, but the emotion and urgency of the message. They do so more effectively than any number of !!!‘s or URGENT‘s in an email can ever do. And it’s this emotion, this passion, this energy of verbal communication that motivates and persuades others to action. When you come to understand this basic premise, you then understand why communication, VERBAL communication, is essential to the success and improvement of any organization. Success and improvement require action, not just information. It requires that people in the organization are motivated to action to do the things that need to be done to improve the organization and their products.


I’ve written about the different levels of communication mediums, and I’ve also provided a solution for the human being “Simply talk to every stranger on the bus.” I know that this world has become crazy and there are many nutcases out there but if the world is getting quiet than we are losing the dialogue to the human rase. To help shy youngsters to communicate more effectively, my generation should start the conversation to keep the dialogue going and I hope it will help.


But, please don’t misunderstand me as I meet young people every day that do talk to me and thank me for the nice journey. Tools like twitter, google, e-mails, hyves, facebook and even old fashioned newspapers are good second alternatives for transferring information. But, when you need to transfer emotion and move people to action, don’t rely on these tools for communication. Remember how to talk to each other and remember that face-to-face communication is the real power behind the most successful organizations and teams. So, the next time you find a moment in your life and you think that this could be done more effective, don’t send an email to your manager about the problem. Walk into his or her office and use your verbal skills to persuade him or her that something needs to be done, now. Move him or her to action today!!!


If you want to communicate than don’t be afraid and talk to all kinds of people around you as you never know who is sitting on the other side and his or her opinion might change your mind. Eventually it might bring you closer to a solution of whatever is happening in your life. Or you might learn something completely new about an other culture or even about yourself. Don’t worry I am not a shrink or a preacher, I am just a free mind who loves to talk about all kinds of subjects that are occurring in our lives. Whatever is on your mind you can discuss with me and will try to give some decent answers.

The Old Sailor,

Can you retire early?

Dear Bloggers,

First of all let me say sorry that I had you readers waiting but my body was together with my mind more inspired by getting the flu. And of course there was no chance to get sick according to my common sense. So I had a bit of a struggle to get to work this week and therefor I negletected my readers a bit.

This weeks blog I will spend on retirement. I have quite a few colleagues who are in their 60’s and will be retiring in a few years. At this moment the talks are about raising the age that you will get on a state pension. I just have my visions about retiring on 55 years of age. When I calculated what that would cost me I was pretty surprised about the outcome. Early retirement can seem so appealing that you don't consider the details. Take a close look at the personal and financial factors first, and then decide whether early retirement is right for you.



Take this job and …

Everyone, at one point or another, has had this thought. If you're working to support yourself, you've undoubtedly daydreamed about early retirement. This vision may come to mind once a year, once a week, or once an hour, depending upon how you feel about your job and career.

The thought of early retirement has always been tempting for workers, but it's all the more tempting now that our view of retirement has changed from a few decades ago. We no longer see retirement as a time when our productive life is over, when we spend our remaining years reminiscing about the past. Now, retirement is viewed as the time when we finally get to enjoy all the things we would love to do, if only we didn't have to work.



The problem with early retirement is that it's often so appealing that it becomes easy to make the decision before you really consider the ramifications. And if you do leap before you look, you may be leaping to an early financial death.

Will you run out of money?

Many experts estimate that a huge percentage of future retirees will have to cut their expenses dramatically once they stop working if they want to make sure they don't go broke. The real answer to the question, "Can I retire early?" is: "Of course you can, but you may run out of money."



Questions to ask yourself are:

Is retiring early too risky?

How to make your money last in early retirement?

How to get yourself a dream job ... at age 55.

How can I avoid common retirement mistakes?

How can I retire on a wounded portfolio?

If that happens, the best scenario would be running out of money while you were still able to work, but chances are you would get a mediocre job at best. The worst circumstance would be going broke when you're no longer able to work, so your only options are to live on whatever monthly benefits you have (such as Social Security and a pension) or to turn to your children or other relatives for help.

When thinking about retiring early, there are two issues to consider:

· Can I afford to retire early?

· Do I really want to retire early?

Depending on how well your day went at work today, or how your career is progressing in general, you might think the second question is absurd. But if you look at how long you will be retired, you might want to rethink that second question.

The reality is that if you retire early, you may be "retired" for as long as you were in the working world. Based on actuarial tables of how long Americans actually live, if you retire at age 55, you can expect to live to age 83. If you retire at 65, you get another year's reprieve to age 84. And if you keep working until age 70, you're expected to live to age 86. Couple that with the fact that if you're married, one of you is likely to outlive the other by four to six years or longer, and you can see how early retirement requires serious financial planning.


Plan for how long you expect to live

To be practical and conservative in your financial planning, you should probably tack three or four more years onto these "average" death ages. If your relatives tend to live into their 90s, you had better add on a few more years. You also could try the Life Expectancy Calculator to get a better idea of your longevity.

Some of those later years may not be as active as the early ones, but they will be just as expensive thanks to medical costs. The only good news about living to 100 is that if you own a life insurance policy, you're usually considered actuarially dead by that time. That means you'll get the full death benefit while you're still alive and kicking (although you might not be kicking very high).




6 smart rules of retiring early

The new retirement model has demands of its own. Here's how to make sure you can cut back sooner -- without being destitute by age 87.

If you assume you'll enjoy at least an average life span, taking early retirement at age 55 or 60 means you have 30 years or so of retirement ahead of you. That's a long time without a paycheck or a structured schedule.

Now, don't think I'm trying to talk you out of your dreams. I'm not. What I am trying to get you to do is to think about what it will take and what it will mean.

Before you allow yourself the luxury of daydreaming about what you would do with all those years of free time, look at the numbers first and see whether you can afford to retire early.

Inflation is our enemy

There are three financial factors to consider:

· How much do you expect to have in monthly retirement income? This would include any money from a traditional pension plan, Social Security or other sources. Many people don't realize that even if they retire at 55 or 60, the earliest they can start receiving Social Security is at 62. And if you start then, the benefits are no more than 80% of what they would be if you waited until "normal" retirement age (currently age 65 or older). Many people choose to defer their Social Security benefits for as long as possible to increase the monthly benefits. Before you make this decision, ask your accountant or financial planner to help you calculate whether to start taking benefits at age 62 or to defer. Usually you're better off starting at age 62 even though the benefits are less. Why? You get extra payments that you can invest in the interim.

· How much in assets will you have accumulated by retirement? These include retirement plans that don't have the fixed-income payout of pension plans (such as 401(k) plans, profit-sharing plans, Individual Retirement Accounts, etc.). You also may have other sources, such as an inheritance or the profits from selling your house for a less expensive one.

· How much will you spend? Planners recommend that you estimate your retirement expenses to be about 80% of those you incurred before retirement, but many people want to keep the same standard of living and replace work-related expenses with travel, entertainment and other new costs.



The dreaded inflation factor

Don't forget about the effect of inflation as you consider your days in the RV rolling down Highway 1 in south Florida. What looks like a hefty retirement income at age 55 or 60 may be near the poverty line by the time you're 70 or 75. For example, let's assume that inflation increases at 3% a year. If you retire today at age 55 on a yearly income of € 40.000,- you'd need € 72.000,- by the time you're 75 to maintain your standard of living. At age 80, or 25 years after you retire, you'll need € 83.800,-. And look at the difference a mere 1 percentage point change in average inflation makes: If that 3% inflation rate actually averages 4%, you'll need € 87.600,- at age 75 and € 106.000,- at age 80.

First, when you estimate your expenses, put in a 5% fudge-factor. In other words, assume that your expenses will be 5% more than you anticipate.

Assume an inflation rate of at least 4%. Long-term, it has averaged about 3% but over the last 20 years it has been closer to 6%.

Start planning now, which usually means slashing your budget so that you can sock away every dollar you can. (This is good advice anyway, whether you plan to retire early or not).

Remember that the earlier you retire, the longer your retirement portfolio is going to have to work for you. So just because you're planning to retire doesn't mean you need to move more money into conservative, lower-yielding, fixed-income investments. (Remember that all of your income doesn't need to be from dividends and interest; it is perfectly acceptable to take some capital gains, too.)

If you retire at 55 or 60, you will probably (hopefully!) need a substantial part of that money in 20 to 30 years, so a good portion of your funds should be invested in the stock market.

Finally, and this is critical, see a competent, experienced financial planner every couple of years to run the numbers for you or to double-check your own numbers. The planner can serve as a sounding board to give you a second opinion about your retirement strategy and investment allocations.

The new retirement model has demands of its own. Here's how to make sure you can cut back sooner -- without being destitute by age 87.

Now what do you do?

If, after doing this "number crunching," you find that you can retire early, the burning issue becomes what will you do with your time. When you're exhausted from work, the possibility of day after day stretching by with no required attendance anywhere sounds delightful, but this can get old very quickly. When you start making a financial plan to retire early, start planning what you're going to do with your time when that day comes. Even the best made plans can change; many an early retiree has returned to work because she cannot stand the thought of not working for the rest of her life.

At a time when most people can't afford to retire and maintain their standards of living, taking the chance of retiring early is a big risk. However, if you start planning early in life, do your homework and understand that you're likely to be around for the next 20 to 40 years and your money needs to be, too, early retirement may be for you. The only downside from a social perspective is the envy of everyone else you know who would give anything to be in your early retirement shoes.

The Old Sailor,

Whoohooo spring has arrived

Dear Bloggers,

The spring of the year is a favorite season for many people, and it is certainly easy to understand why this is so. The spring is when the earth comes back to life slowly after a long and cold winter, and it is in the spring when the first flowers begin to bloom and the green world begins to return after its winter slumber.

The power of spring and its regenerative effects are evidenced by the fact that every major religion includes a major holiday in the spring season. From Passover to Easter, it seems that every culture marks spring with a celebration of renewal and new life. It is easy to understand how in times past ancient cultures were overjoyed by the power of spring and the beauty of new life.



The spring is an important season for many hobbies, including of course gardening. For the gardener, the spring is one of the most pleasant times in the garden. The spring is the time when the bulbs that were carefully planted in the fall begin to grow and blossom, and the spring is when the first seedlings are carefully nestled in the garden. There is no doubt that the spring is one of the most beautiful, and most colorful, of all seasons for the gardener. And yes it is time to get the garden furniture oiled and get the lawnmower ready for it’s job.



The spring is also a favorite time for home improvement projects that could not go forward while the weather was too cold. Whether it is a small project like cleaning up your driveway or a large project like building a new garage or storage shed, the spring is one of the best times to work at improving the value and livability of the home. In the spring, the weather is neither too hot nor too cold, and the homeowner has plenty of daylight in which to work. It is no wonder that the spring season is one of the busiest for home improvement stores and warehouses.



For the outdoor sports enthusiast, there is nothing like the coming of the spring season. For the fisherman, the coming of spring means the first day of trout season. For the biker, spring means that those favorite trails are no longer impassable due to snow, and for the horseback rider spring means being able to take a ride without being afraid of frozen soil. And of course spring means the opening of girl season, a joy for spectators and players alike. There is a lot of eye candy around when the sun is coming out. Enjoy the beautiful time of spring.

The Old Sailor,