I can't remember the old me

Dear Bloggers,

First of all I would like to say that I am sorry that I have not been around for a little while due to the fact that I have started my new job at another station in the company therefor I have to learn many new routes in an area that I am not to familiar with. The good old brain and body are having trouble to keep up with the new situation. In my old days I was pretty flexible and was able to learn new skills nowadays I have to make plans and work things out on paper.

Headaches I never had before

 

During the summer of 2003, I got into a horrible accident. Apparently slipping from the top of the stairs in our new house, I hit my head on the door of the fuse cabinet door and on the side wall. After 3 minutes of being out of this planet, I eventually recovered after a full year. Even though I was deemed "physically" healed, I felt that I was truly never the same. Not only had my demeanor and interests changed, but also it seemed as if I had become a completely different person after the accident. I thought it was very sad at the time, because the friends who had been close to me before were no longer close. I did not understand what they meant when they said that I had become a different person. Certainly, I realized that I had changed, but I could not remember the old me, so how comes that they could no longer treat me like the old "Jacob". I believed that this new "Jacob" was still the same person as before-that the inner soul with which they had become friends had never and, indeed, could never change. However, after reading Descartes' Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain, I regret the harsh judgments I made about "Jacobs" so called friends. Dealing with someone who has suffered from a tremendous change in personality is not as easy as one would expect. So how can I blame my wife as she probably can not addapt fully to the new me. And it makes me feel so sad but what can I do as I cannot find the “Old Jacob” back?

 body meets scattered brain

Brain injury is any injury that results in damage to the brain. For many people who suffer from brain injury, the problems associated with it become a permanent part of their lives. The problems that develop depend upon which part of the brain is injured. People can lose cognitive and motor functions as well as their ability to express thoughts and perceive their surroundings. The most unnerving consequence of a brain injury can be a change in personality. Often after being injured victims, like myself, develop an apathy and decreased motivation for life. Emotion can run to both extremes: a forever high, or as in the case of my friend, an absence there of. In society there is a difference in the response shown to someone who has suffered a brain injury that changes his or her personality, and someone whose injury has affected any other part of the body, or even other types of injuries to the brain. What accounts for this difference? If an individual loses a limb, he loses the function of that limb as well. It makes sense then that when an individual loses part of his brain, the function of that part goes too. This is in correlation with the statement, brain = behavior. Each part of the brain seems responsible for different behaviors, a fact that is reinforced when examining injuries to different areas of the brain and the varying results that occur. For example, if an individual suffers injury to their amygdala, he becomes calm and almost devoid of emotional ups and downs. People have therefore reasoned that this area of the brain is responsible for exhibiting anger and possessing violent emotions. If the function of a specific area of the brain is a defining characteristic of an individual's personality, then it is almost as if a new person develops, in place of the old, when an injury to that area occurs.

Modern Schizofrenia

"Jacob was no longer Jacob". The most frightening thing about my story is that, although I became somehow very different, I was for a long time not aware of the changes within myself. In class we have explored the nervous system and noted that there is a separate I-function involved, making one aware of the "self". With each class, it becomes more evident that this I-function has less and less control on the rest of the nervous system. Many times the I-function is not aware of things that the nervous system is doing until the person is told what his or her nervous system is doing, (i.e., when the brain makes up an image for the place of vision, the optic nerve, where no sensory receptors are located). So the question I have for people like me, who seem to be totally dissimilar people after suffering a brain trauma, is whether or not their I-functions are aware of the change in personality? People suffering from a personality change are unable to will themselves back to their old personality, even after their I-function is made aware. This furthermore, supports that brain equals behavior, because if behavior was independent of the brain, one would be able to change their personality back despite the brain changes. However, can we ever be sure that, because we are not mind readers, that even though their personality changes, they are not thinking in the same manner, as Descartes would argue? And if the individual thinks in an entirely new manner, would that really be enough to consider him or her a totally different person? I could not write it down less difficult than this.

That is how I feel

The likely reality is that when someone's brain is injured, the function is forever injured as well. There is no separation between mind and brain. Popular opinion of the mind's function is that it is a result of a brain process. Although when the brain loses a function, it is not unlike the reaction incurred in any other part of the body, but the more important query remains. Which characteristics do we use when defining a person's being? If I had suffered from a trauma to any other part of his body and survived, my friends would never have said that I was no longer the same person. Often when people undergo a personality change, their IQ remains unaffected by the injury. This is because of the various tasks delegated to the brain. The frontal lobe has evolved to be the main organizer. If people, like me, damage this region of the brain, their persona changes because this region is imperative for defining one's personality.

the other side of me

What, then, is the most important factor accounting for the way a person becomes defined; what has happened to make the various regions of the brain become so specialized? Has there been a gradual process through evolution that makes the loss of the frontal lobe harder to deal with than the loss of other regions of the brain, or other body parts? Or has the brain always functioned in this manner? When examining the responses to what appears to be injuries that are all serious in nature, it becomes apparent that some injuries are, indeed, more acute than others. Although an injury which is noticeable may on the surface seem more life changing, it cannot be argued that it is the injuries which are held within one's mind that are the most devastating to a person's being. Yes, they are all injuries to the body, but only those touching the brain have the capacity to change the "soul" of a person.

The Old Sailor,



Christmas is over

Dear Bloggers,


One of the best moments of Christmas comes when it is over. I say that not as a party-pooper - I love it when it is happening - but because we now can get on with real life, which is not that bad for most of us.

Much as we love visitors, and especially small ones, the silence is heavenly when they have gone to bed. We need no longer spend hours on frenzied High Street hunts for presents.
There is an end to all the business excuses which start in November about 'getting back to you after Christmas'.

This is a terrific time for doing household jobs pending since Easter, making up to the cats for being neglected since advent, steering children back to planet earth after weeks in orbit, and imposing censorship on all further moaning about the weather.

I am not a fan of the Christmas frenzy

I enjoyed the snow, but we have been there and done that. The stuff is sensational when new, clean and present in sufficient quantities for toboggans. But once it starts fading to slush, the picture-postcard thrill is gone. Eventhough it is hell to drive on these kind of days.

I once tried going abroad for Christmas, sitting in the sun while my friend described with sardonic glee exactly what cosmetic work each of the women around the pool had done. He is a great bastard if it comes to women.

However, the palm trees felt hopelessly wrong for the season, and we agreed never to repeat the experiment. This is the time for mulled wine, not bikinis. Almost everyone who loves their own home wants to be in it. I am bemused by those who brave the horrors of December airports, even when not snowbound.

My clever wife always makes a very small christmas effort on dining and I will do the rest of it as we do not see the point of the extreme luxury of eating turkey. By Boxing Day it resembles Sonja Bakker on a diet - almost invisible from a side view. Today it is already homemade tomatosoup. And now we have to go for another week and we will start a New Year without any future plans.

We go back to normal rations as soon as the remains of the exclusive diner have been cleared up, and are jolly grateful, too. I feel bad for the ones that were born in the month of December as their birthday is normally snowed under by the festivities in this month.

If you want children who will love you, prospective parents should be careful about what they do together around mid-March. Few babies born in December are grateful. They resent seeing Mummy sticking candles into a half-eaten Christmas cake on the grounds that there is no consumer demand for a special birthday one.

In our family we are great believers in getting on with it, whatever 'it' may be. This is a perfect season for looking ahead rather than backwards, and making things happen.

At this time of year, I am also spared from sceptical spectators. When other people are around, I realise that some do not regard what I do for a living. Some of them think that I am still working on a ship. That is how interrested people are nowadays.

No one under 40 seems to do it yourself any more, but this is a great week for those of us who love our Black & Deckers to build new shelves, mend the fence and sort out the garage.

I can never understand why home carpentry and decorating have gone out of fashion. However many Poles are clamouring for custom, it is fun as well as cash-saving to do some of the business in-house.

We oldies have the supreme satisfaction that we need not start getting glum about the prospect of going back to school. January is a much brighter month than December, with snowdrops and lengthening days.

Our ancestors had cause to get depressed at New Year about the prospect of seeing little fresh food before spring, facing months of salted meat and half-frosted potatoes. We are subject to no such privations, unless something goes horribly wrong at Albert Heijn.

We can walk country lanes with the assurance of returning to warm homes, and wave away the last days of 2010 without a tremor of nostalgia.

This is a time for looking ahead, sighing with relief that a pretty dismal year for most of us is drawing to an end.

If children believe in Santa Claus or in my country Sinterklaas, it is the privilege - indeed the duty - of their parents to cherish a conviction that the times to come will be better than the times past. Here's hoping that it will be so for you.

The Old Sailor,

The Christmas Carol Phone call

Dear Bloggers,


Unfortunately I am getting unemployed again and I really start to think that it is a fetish to bosses to lay off staff just before or during Christmas. As this is not the first time that it happens and yes I can handle it, but some of my fellow drivers can’t. One of them ran straight up to the office and told them that he would leave straight away, another driver said that he will leave just before Christmas. Hmmm.......these are hard times to keep a job, as soon as the temps office called alarmbells started ringing and the applying machine was started up again. As Scrooge was on the television I twisted this into a hard feelings Christmas Story. Sit down by the fireplace and read and weep.

In a phone call from the temps office that I work for on Tuesday, the Christmas Spirit of the Past from the company had announced the plans to lay me off by the first of Januari. F**cking great but I am the choosen one together with the Ghost of Christmas Present along with his entire Department of Concurrent Events. This restructuring will result in the reduction of the busdrivers the ones that made some mistakes are chucked out.

Despite being able to provide instantaneous hi-def visualizations of events happening simultaneously anywhere around the world, the Ghost of Christmas Present’s capabilities have been largely superseded by the rise of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, making his offerings redundant and too expensive to maintain.

Spirit reminded he will still retain the services of the Ghosts of Christmas Future and Past, along with their entire staffs. He announced that that the remaining departments will continue to provide a valuable function in the Christmas Spirit’s operations by continuing to leverage the blissful memories of Christmases of long ago as well as demonstrate the pain and despair that will occur if the target doesn’t reform his ways.

Average Boss
“Nostalgia and dread have always been what ends up redeeming the scrooges anyway,” The temps office Spirit said on the call.

These organizational changes were necessary to reduce costs and recover from three straight holiday seasons of stagnant growth in Spirit’s mission to restore hope to humanity and bring together estranged family members.

The Ghost of Christmas Present never saw the layoffs coming.

The Christmas Spirit expects to reduce operating expenses by a unknown percentage and is confident he will still be able to meet his business objectives of turning grouches, grinches and scrooges into tolerable timetable for the traveling by bus human beings.

A look into the future

 

The life-like imagery and special effects produced by the three Ghosts have always looked impressive but was expensive, forcing Spirit to do a full cost benefits analysis for each department. Unfortunately for the Ghost of Christmas Present, Spirit’s review made the outcome all too clear.

The Christmas Spirit’s analysis confirmed his suspicions that the Ghost of Christmas Present was too expensive to keep on the payroll and was not nearly as effective as Past and Future in making holiday grouches reconsider their anti-social ways.

“With mixed emotions, we regret to announce that the Ghost of Christmas Present has to be seeking for opportunities outside the company,” said Spirit. “He built a strong foundation in allowing us to see how our target accounts were ruining the lives of their family or demoralizing their employees.”

Spirit says that if his account managers need to know what was going on in some house across town,”now, we can just check their Facebook status updates or read their tweets.”

The Spirit of Christmas says it simply does not make sense to carry the expense of a six-figure executive salary when these capabilities can be provided at little to no cost. He then demonstrated on the webcast what social network applications can do by revealing a Facebook post about one of his targeted accounts.







  

” Spirit said. “It really is a beautiful thing.”

Additionally, a Facebook status update can reveal how holiday-impaired grouches can negatively affect the quality of life of their employees during the Christmas season. He showed this screenshot as evidence.

Spirit said that prior to the announcement, the Ghosts had visited him in his bedroom, each over the course of three nights to plead their case.

“The Ghost of Christmas Present really disappointed me and didn’t show me very much,” Spirit said. “All I saw were other people sleeping. Although I now have an interesting story about our director to tell at this year’s holiday party.”

He could have become a good man

 Spirit revealed that the Ghost of Christmas Past showed him as a young upstart corporate director and how much joy he experienced in restoring hope and faith in Christmas, saying “I was reminded of how much I love what we do, how we make a difference in people’s lives, and how hot that one girl from accounting was.”

“Christmas Future had a great presentation,” Spirit explained to the hotshots and the blokes from the provence of Friesland. “Once he showed me that the decision to drop Christmas Present and make some changes in our tax liabilities and investing in new systems will give us a double digit growth over the next five years,. . .well that sealed it.”

The Ghost of Christmas Present was understandably distraught with the news that his lifelong career had recently come to an end, saying “I only wish I had seen this coming.”

What happened to the Merry days of Christmas

Because his only skill is quickly being replaced by another driver after the first of Januari, the Ghost of Christmas Present is worried about what will come next, especially considering that his former colleague Christmas Future kept giving him knowing glances of pity as he left the building.

When reached for comment, the Ghost of Christmas Present still maintained that his services are invaluable.

“You won’t get that on a ‘what are you doing now’ status update,” Present said.

Have a better Christmas than me.

The Old Sailor,



How to be yourself.......here are some timeless tips

Dear Bloggers,

Today I’d like to share a few of my favorite timeless tips for improving your social life. As we are all thinking that facebook, twitter and hyves are the answer of having success in life. Wrong answer the main key in this network is you as a person, not a wannabee you.


Here are six of them.

1. Be aware of building walls.

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”

The ego wants to divide your world. It wants to create barriers, separation and loves to play the comparison game. The game where people are different compared to you, the game where you are better than someone and worse than someone else. All of that creates fear. And so we build walls. But putting up walls tends to in the end hurt you more than protect you.

So how can you start building bridges instead? One way is to choose to be curious about people. Curiosity is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your fear.

Another way is to start to see yourself in other people. To get that there is no real separation between you and other people.

That may sound vague. So one practical suggestion and thought you may want to try for a day is that everyone you meet is your friend.

Another thing you can try is to see what parts of yourself you can see in someone you meet. Try it out and see what you find.

2. Your relationships are in your mind.

“As you think so shall you be! Since you cannot physically experience another person, you can only experience them in your mind. Conclusion: All of the other people in your life are simply thoughts in your mind. Not physical beings to you, but thoughts. Your relationships are all in how you think about the other people of your life. Your experience of all those people is only in your mind. Your feelings about your lovers come from your thoughts. For example, they may in fact behave in ways that you find offensive. Their actions are theirs, you cannot own them, you cannot be them, you can only process them in your mind.”

“It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting.”



How you choose to interpret people and your relationships makes a huge difference. So much of our relationships may be perceived to happen out there somewhere.

But as mentioned in tip #1 in this article, your underlying frame of mind – do you build bridges or walls? – will determine much about your interactions both new people and people you know.

So you really have to go inside. You have to realize that your interpretations from the past are interpretations. Not reality. You have to take a look at your assumptions and expectations and thought habits. Find patterns that may be hurting you (and others). This isn’t easy. Or always pleasant. You may discover that you have had some negative underlying habits of thought for many years.

But to change you have to do it. Instead of just keep looking at yourself as some sort of unmoving and objective observer of the world and reality. A change in you could – over time – change your whole world.

3. Avoid being boring.

“The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out.”



Don’t prattle on about your new car for 10 minutes oblivious to your surroundings. Always be prepared to drop a subject when you start to bore people. Or when everyone is getting bored and the topic is starting to run out of steam.

One good way to have something interesting to say is simply to lead an interesting life. And to focus on the positive stuff. Don’t start to whine about your boss or your job, people don’t want to hear that. Instead, talk about your last trip somewhere, some funny anecdote that happened while you were buying clothes, your plans for the summer or something fun or exciting.

4. Focus outward, not inward.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”



A lot of people use the second, far less effective way. It is appealing because it’s about instant gratification and about ME, ME, ME! The first way – to become interested in people – perhaps works better because it makes you a pleasant exception and because the law of reciprocity is strong in people. As you treat people, they will treat you. Be interested in them and they will be interested in you.

5. Don’t get stuck in the questions.

“I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.”

If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute. One alternative is to mix questions with statements. Just say what band you are really into instead of asking what band they are into. Or say what you think about local sports team’s chances of winning the next game. Or, while using common sense, just what you are thinking about what is happening around you right now.

And then the conversation can flow on from there.

So open up and say what you think, share how you feel. And if someone shares an experience, open up too and share one of your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding and answer with short sentences. If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like you to invest too.

And like in so many areas in life, you can’t always wait for the other party to make the first move. When needed, be proactive and be the first one to open up and invest in the conversation.

6. Genuineness is awesome.

“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.”

I think that one of the most important things in a relationship of any kind is to be genuine. Few things are as powerful as genuine communication and letting the genuine you shine through. Without incongruence, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness.

It’s you to 100%.

It’s you with not only your words but you with your voice tonality and body language – which some say is over 90% of communication – on the same wavelength as your words. It’s you coming through on all channels of communication.

Being your geunine self – the one where you build bridges and are open and giving – will give you better results and more satisfaction in your day to day life because you are in alignment with yourself. And because people really like genuineness.

The Old Sailor,

Happy Fatfree Holidays for all

Dear Bloggers,


I am not the worlds example of being slim. And I do not feel the need to be that at all. Only trouble is that I have trouble to resist stuff that is high on the wrong kinds of calories and fat, and yes I love the good tradition of dining together during the holidays. Any other part of the holiday season is not bathering me at all. Normally I have been working nearly every Christmas or New Years.

We are heading in to the party season now, and that can spell disaster for many people trying to watch their weight and stay healthy. Christmas is always going to be a time when we gain a few extra pounds due to the foods that we eat which are both are richer and more readily available than throughout the rest of the year.

Certainly it is very important to let your hair down now and again and to enjoy the odd treat and luxury, but what can you do if you want to hold on to your figure over the coming weeks. Follow my tips to ensure you enjoy your Christmas parties without looking like a stuffed turkey at the end of it all.

Don't be afraid to say no. It isn't unusual to get invites to many parties, meals or social events during December and the New Year. Trying to keep everybody happy will only lead to massive excesses and probable weight gain. Be selective, try to keep the nights out evenly spaced over the weeks, instead of all back to back. (Being drunk on a daily base is a regular life but not that healthy, I figured this out the hard way by trying it.)

'You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink'. You may have a busy social calendar over the next few weeks, but that doesn't mean you have to push the excesses to the limit. If it's a meal out, you could limit yourself to a main and a starter. If you have a few drinking nights out lined up, then aim to reduce the amount of alcohol you consume. Try something non alcoholic in between drinks (or even better still a glass of water), this way you could halve the amount of alcohol you have over the evening.

Choose the healthier options. For example as a starter melon balls or anything else based on fruit or veggies and soups are generally quite good choices. For mains try chicken and fish dishes without sauces or gravies. (if your not allergic to seafood like me.) Finally deserts are usually the hardest to get right. Basically anything that contains cream, pastries and sauces is going to be high in calories and saturated fat, so perhaps a better option would be to share one between two or totally skip them.

Burn away the excesses. Whatever calories you put in to your body will either be stored as fat or burned off to fuel movement. So my final tip is simply to be more active. Walk to and from the night out, if it's safe to do so. Dance as much as possible if that's an option and lastly try to avoid sitting down all night, instead try pottering around. Unless you have health issues of course that might get you into trouble. I do my excercises with the Nintendo Wii together with my kids we have loads of fun. So there we have 2 good things in one pleasurable moment.

Happy Holidays to you all

Christmas only comes once a year and if you are in good health and physical shape then a couple of weeks of excess probably won't do you any harm. If however you are carrying a little too much weight already (like myself) and the nearest thing you get to regular exercise is walking to and from the car then a month of over indulgences could just push your health over the edge. So enjoy yourself, but just don't forget that your health can and will suffer if you over consume for a prolonged period of time. I know that it is not easy in the beginning but believe me. I’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Happy Holidays to you all.

The Old Sailor,

Oh the weather outside is.........

Dear Bloggers,


Today it is a nice and sunny autumn day but thios will change rapidly by the end of the week.

The balmy temperatures of today will be a distant memory as winter weather will arrive in Northern parts of The Netherlands this week, the wind will get from colder areas and snow is expected on Thursday or Friday at the latest, just in time to put a chill into travelers planning for the next week's holiday weekend. Saint Nicholas his presents might even arrive a bit later due to the weather.

The good news, forecasters at the National Weather Service say, is that the snow showers expected at the end of this week but it will not be that much.Next weeks weekend will be a different story, however. A cold stream is bringing plenty of moisture to the area is expected to work its way towards the Southern parts of the country, the forecast said this morning. From Saturday morning through Sunday morning 6 to 10 centimeters of snow likely will fall in the Coastal areas, and after that the rest of the country might get some wet snow.

While the cold air stream is expected to blow over by Thursday, travelers in the northern regions should expect pretty chilly winds and below zero temperatures. The crews will be busy on the highways and main roads treating them with de-icer and throwing down salt and sand for traction.

Next week on Tuesday the weather could be cool and showery as a weak storm continues to drop out of the East. Colder air will sweep in from Poland early next week, hitting hardest east of the country and pushing temperatures into the single digits. Even below numbers at night are mentioned, so maybe it is time to find the ice skates. The weather should improve by the 4th of December but according to the weather stations this might become a serious cold winter in Europe.

"This is the time of year when drivers need to change their mindset to winter driving," The weatherman said. "Remember to bring warm clothes with you, a shovel so you can dig yourself out, don't follow too close and be sure to check with ANWB on weather conditions before you get out on the roads."

Getting a christmas feeling already eventhough that is a bit early for me. I will ignite the fireplace and drink some hot chocolate with rum.

The Old Sailor,

What is your biggest fear?

Dear Bloggers,


This week I talked to a young lady in the bus during one of the lonely and stormy nightshifts all of a sudden we entered the subject of loosing a person near to you. She told about the loss of her dad, when his business stranded due to the financial trouble a few years ago he did not see a way out anymore and took his own life. Even it is to discuss if you can do this to your family yes or no. I had a really deep conversation with her about the reason why we should be here? I found the following qoute of Natalie Babbit on the web and I think that this a better way of understanding this silly fear of death.

"Do not fear death... only the unlived life.
You don't have to live forever;
You just have to live."

It is natural to feel fear of the unknown. In regard to death, this fear may be of what might happen during the process of dying, such as the pain of a terminal illness, nausea, vomiting, or even fearing abandonment by those around you. The fear of death may also be perpetuated by the sadness of the family around the dying person, or the hopelessness of the doctor, or the nurses who feel they may have failed to keep the person alive. However, it is through death that the dying person can be released from the great burden of the diseased body.

Death is not an enemy, it is a natural fact of life, a stage of our existence, and a transition or doorway between planes of reality. Death has its own harmony with nature just as a tree loses its leaves every fall. We don't feel that it is unjust or that the tree failed to stay fully alive when it goes dormant through the winter. It is natural. Neither should doctors and nurses feel they have failed if after every endeavor a patient dies. Actually, it may be better to let a person take the opportunity to die peacefully rather than trying to force him or her to remain alive in a suffering body. In other words, it can be better to make peace with death than try to conquer it.

The process of dying can be rough, but it is temporary. The best thing to do is to focus our consciousness as much as we can in a way that will help us reach the highest realm possible after death. Of course, it always may be a little sad to leave our home and loved ones, but if we are going to a bigger and more beautiful home, then what is there to be sorry about? It is joyful to be going to a better place. This sort of joy will also help divert our attention from any pain we may be feeling.

The primary fear of death is, of course, not knowing what we will be or where we will go in the afterlife. If you are afraid of where you might go after death, be surrendered and know that fate, or God, will put you where you will best learn whatever you need to learn. The universe is based on compassion. It is not a punishment that we are here, but it is because of our desires for the experience of material existence and bodily sense pleasure. Each life is meant for us to learn more about ourselves, and about who we are. Death is not simply a matter of getting old or sick and then dying. Natural death happens when you have finished doing what you were meant to do in this life. You may have wanted to do more or not, but when you have done what you were meant to do, you will move on. Nature will arrange it that you will leave this realm. Each life is like a classroom wherein you learn a certain amount, and go through a certain number of lessons or tests. Then you graduate to the next class. We can learn willingly or unwillingly. We can cooperate or be uncooperative. We can repeatedly keep going through it until we learn all of the necessary lessons to go on to the next level. That is our choice. And if you have failed any of the tests, don't worry. You'll have the chance to try it again. Therefore, let go of any fear and let "God" or who or whatever you believe in put you where you will make the most progress.

Actually, to fear death reveals one's misunderstanding of life. It is a fear of knowing one's real self, which is beyond the bodily identification. It is that with which some people hesitate to acquaint themselves. Thus, if a person has known nothing else but one's bodily identity, losing the body can put one into fear. Yet, how can one ever think he was the body when it is plain to see that he came into this temporary world through birth and must leave it through death? All of our possessions, relationships, even our talents and skills are all temporary. So how can our body be anything more? Being afraid of death is like being afraid to give up an old and worn-out garment.

In this regard, the mind is the root cause of fear and suffering. However, this fear and anguish can be a gift because it shows where the mind gets caught in the desired model of thinking how things should be. It projects its own level of reality out on the world and its perception of things. When things are not the way we want them to be, or think they should be, the mind has difficulty accepting it and we suffer. We then often get angry, anxious, confused, or fall into fear. To enjoy freedom from suffering, we have to grow beyond our attachments, ego, and desires. Thus, the awareness of our approaching death plays an important role in helping us transcend our temporary worldly attachments, and to increase our development and qualities that are offered through our existence in different bodies or different planes of consciousness.

So an important point is that we do not have to be afraid of death, for we are all immortal. When we look around us, this is plain to see. Every winter the trees, plants and grass go dormant and practically die, yet they return to life and display their blooms in the spring. Even if a tree dies and becomes soil, we can see that out of it new life rises from the remnants of its decay. Even if the water of a pond disappears, it forms the steam from which clouds are created, which rain down the potential for new life. We witness many forms of transition of the same energy. It is an endless cycle in which we all participate. In the same way, our physical body is shed at death, but our life persists on another level. Thus, through death we also find renewal.

As it is stated in the ancient Bhagavad-gita, "Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you. . . nor in the future shall any of us cease to be."

While we live in this material world, death helps alleviate and release us from our accumulated attachments, positions, and superficial desires. Death shows us what is not important, and makes us give up those things which can no longer help, or which keeps us from understanding who we really are. Even though we are here to experience the innumerable aspects of material existence, if we are too caught up in it, we will never understand our spiritual identity. Thus, death is an assistant which forces us to come to grips with what is temporary, and to give it up. It is another step in the learning process, to come closer to what we really are.

Unfortunately, if one is overly attached to his or her body, position, belongings and relations, death can seem like a severe punishment. Yet, it can be a gift or even a blessing if you are in deep kinds of pain. For the materialist who is afraid of losing everything, death is like the grip that crushes. With a spiritual understanding, one can find a meaning in dying.

In the end, there comes a time when we need to let ourselves, or the person dear to us, leave the body, just as when a person needs to rest. It can be wrong to resist the process of death, whether it be yours or that of another. So we should not begrudge another of his death. We should not be unwilling to let him or her go. As some of us are not able to live on but we should not be selfish and try to “rescue” the ones that cannot find another way out. It is his or her chance to enter a better realm to continue with his progress. He or she is not leaving us, he or she is simply going on before us.

Death is not an enemy, it can be like the friend who cuts the chain that holds the anchor which prevents one from sailing to greater horizons. This is the way we become closer to attaining freedom from this earthly plane, and from the dictates of the senses, the service of the body, and the impressions in the mind.

on the fear bus

I should put up a sign which says: “The one who fears death should take the next bus home.” I am afraid that my boss will not be very amused if I would do this for real.

The Old Sailor,



Long time ago......far far away

Dear Bloggers,




Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. Happy Birthday to myself

Yes, it was 3 years ago today — November 8th, 2007 — that I burst out of the starting blocks. In the blogosphere, 3 years is a long time (I’m told the average life of a blog is about 3 months).

Over the last 36 months, I’ve made 222 blog postings (including this one). To celebrate, I thought I’d simply share with you a few of my favourites. Actually, I’m in such a jocular mood I’m just going to share what I think are my best or funniest blog postings. Some of these I like because the stories they’re based on my opinion or are from themselves funny; others I just like because of some deep rooted feelings that moves even me. Life would be very dull if we never indulged ourselves.”

Here goes nothing:

· Hoera mijn blog is geboren http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2007/11/hoera-mijn-blog-is-geboren.html

· Zie de maan schijnt…… http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2007/12/zie-de-maan-schijnt.html

· Als je nog net niet oud bent http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2008/01/als-je-nog-net-niet-oud-bent.html

· Als de pijn de baas wordt  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2008/01/als-de-pijn-de-baas-wordt.html

· Als ik later…. http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2008/03/als-ik-later.html

· De prins op het knappe witte paard  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2008/04/de-prins-op-het-knappe-witte-paard.html

· If grief....... http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2008/09/if-grief.html

· Parade of the bums  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2008/10/parade-of-bums.html

· A christmas story  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2008/12/christmas-story.html

· It started with a kiss...... http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2009/01/it-started-with-kiss.html

· Enjoy life while it is there  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2009/01/enjoy-life-while-it-is-there.html

· Happy with what you have, not what you could get  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2009/02/happy-with-what-you-have-not-with-what.html

· A bad day can have good moments http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2009/04/bad-days-can-have-good-moments.html

· How to live positive with fibromyalgia  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2009/07/how-to-live-positive-with-fibromyalgia.html

· Clearing the attic......gets your mind cleared as well?  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2009/08/clearing-attic-gets-your-mind-cleared.html

· Finally back to work again  http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2010/04/finally-back-to-work-again.html

· Married or single who is happier http://oldsailor2007.blogspot.com/2010/09/married-or-single-who-is-happier.html

Enjoy reading.and ”Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”



The Old Sailor,

Fibromyalgia is a nasty condition

Dear Bloggers,

This is my second year of being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and I must say that I have picked up my “new life style” quite well. Eventhough pain is my biggest enemy, I walk up straight and smile to my passengers. I never realized before that deep down in me there has been a load of stress. By controlling my life in a different way and doing my things one step at the time, my pain and all the other symptoms became slowly bearable.

The Horror of Fibro headaches

As Fibromyalgia is now the accepted name for a condition that used to be known as musculoskeletal pain syndrome. The name may be updated but the diagnosis still remains a controversial one as there are still those in the medical community who discount the validity of the condition. And that is a shame as many people like myself who want to carry on are being turned down in so many ways. The controversy arises over the non-specific nature of many of the symptoms as well as the psychological aspects of the syndrome that have been observed. It is hard to find a suitable job if you have to do it on your own. It takes a hell lot of energy that you simply don’t have.

The syndrome is classified as a rheumatic condition, related to arthritis, with the major symptoms being muscle and joint pain over large parts of the body and fatgue. Usually these symptoms are also accompanied by a lowered pain threshold, anxiety and depression. The lowered pain threshold is the major reason why so many remain skeptical over the validity of Fibromyalgia as a specific disease. People with arthritis get help from the authorities and they can get a contract for working a part time job the other half is paid by the government. At least you can be there for your family and function on full power at your job.

The "New Me"

The disease affects roughly ten times more women than it does men but science has yet to determine why that is. One theory is that it is not actually this imbalanced but that men remain undiagnosed or misdiagnosed more often than women do. Perhaps with further research the truth will be found but until then, it appears to affect far more women than men. My thoughts are that men are to affraid to loose their job and their face. If you live in a small community you are quickly called lazy and that f***ing hits you like a hammer.

Generally fibromyalgia sufferers start off with widespread muscle aches and joint pain, usually accompanied by debilitating fatigue. Some people will also experience muscle twitching or burning for no apparent reason. These symptoms often appear at the same time as depression and sleep disturbances.

There are other symptoms associated with fibromyalgia but most victims will have only some of them, making each person seem to have a different problem (another reason for misdiagnosis). A person may experience several of these symptoms at the same time during acute periods while experiencing none during other times. Common complaints include stomach pain, dry mouth or eyes, chronic headache, anxiety, restless legs syndrome, stiff joints, incontinence, sensitivity to hot or cold. Most of these things I recognize as my own in my case I did not experience the restless legs and I very seldom I face anxiety, therefor I do get cramped legs in restperiods and I cannot stand overcrowded places anymore.

Reaching a diagnosis can be a long process as there are no specific tests to determine if you have fibromyalgia. In my case it went quick it only took seven months due to the pressure provided by the Danish government. Normally this process takes a whole year in the Netherlands. It is more a process of eliminating everything that it is not, before determining what it actually is. The doctor will usually do extensive blood tests to rule out many other conditions. Of course, you also must meet the diagnostic criteria which will always include widespread pain that lasts for three months or longer. That means the pain will be on both sides of the body, above and below the waist and will be present in at least one of the chest, neck or back.

There isn’t any specific treatment for fibromyalgia as a condition. Instead, treatment options are all aimed at relieving specific symptoms. Typically a sufferer will be prescribed a medication to reduce or control the pain as well as an antidepressant to deal with the emotional aspects of the disease. I refused to take the antidepressants as I hate all this medication that I get prescribed. My doctor was surprised on my reaction “less synthetic crap is better for the old body.” Behavioral techniques such as stress management are often used in conjunction with the medications as stress has been shown to aggravate the condition and bring on acute episodes.

Some alternative therapies have produced success in some patients but they have not been subject to many verifiable studies. Therapeutic, deep tissue massage has been known to be a help in relieving the pain, at least temporarily. Some also find relief through acupuncture, hypnosis and even chiropractic manipulation. I found my way to get relief by daily Tai Chi practise some basic moves and meditate on free moments to bring the mind at ease. Stress is the enemy. Even I am a huge fan of a love life the pain is always in the way. During foreplay I have to take breaks as my body gives up. And my wife is not the easiest one to please as she loves the full attention during this beautiful hobby.

Whether you choose to go with medication, alternative therapies or a combination of both, there are some things you should do to help your body deal with this sometimes devastating condition. Eat a balanced diet so that your body receives the nutrition needed to support repair and building of muscle tissue, exercise regularly and get enough sleep each day so that you will be in optimal health in order to deal with the affects of this musculoskeletal pain syndrome. Enough sleep is sometimes tricky if you have to start early shifts and your partner calls you lazy when she finds you sleeping on the couch. I feel so useless in many ways as I am not the man that I was a few years ago. Nothing was to much for me and I was never ever tired. Nowadays I wake up tired and on my free moments I feel more dead than alive.

The Old Sailor,

The most precious things in life

Dear Bloggers,

As you probably know I am father to two beautiful daughters and to me they are the most precious things that are in my life. And yes I realize that one day the will leave the warm nest that we call home. I have the feeling that time goes so quick at the moment that before I know it my girls will be flying out and go their own way.

A question that I asked myself how devestating its it to loose a child? When I try to imagine this tears are burning in my eyes. Of course there are many different ways that this can happen to any parent. Like a horrifying disease as leukemia for example or a tragic accident, being in the wrong place at the wrong moment might kill a person, some kids get obducted. Here you see that there are many doom scenarios that you can think of.

How can you protect a child from these kind of things? The question that I asked myself is the following one: “There is not even a name for it ” Ok let me explain this one, A child without parents we call an orphan and someone who has lost a partner we call a widow or widower. But I can’t think up a name for a parent that lost a child.

You probably wonder how does this insane writer come to this subject? Actually this pretty simple. A few days ago, I saw a boy lying on the roundabout as he was hit by a car lying on his bicyclen. According to the traffic regulations in this town cars have to give way to the cyclists. The driver chose to hit and run. The poor lad was left behind with a broken knee and a damaged bike.

As other drivers already informed the cops and paramedics, I could continue my journey after a hard days work. As the thoughts kept hauning I decided to write this blog. I all od a suddden realized that I had a story to tell again on my blog. There you see that my brain has been rattling for a while as this subject came a long.

It has been a funny week as I witnessed another accident on my last shift. Yes I know that these things are happening on a daily base. Our society is getting harder and harder. More and more people leave their victims behind as they simply did not learn how to care about others.

The ones that do care, are attacked when they are trying to help a victim. In some cases of bullying. The victim did not see a way out anymore as he did not dare to ask for help as he did not want to kill himself. In blind anger he took a knife and stabbed his bully As many others saw what happend, you should think that someone would call the police. It took nearly ten minutes before the first one made a call for help.

I think it is about time that we as parents should raise our kids with all the love and respect raise our kids with all the love and respect that we can provide. Rebelling kids have been problem of alle time. Accidents happen and no they are never funny. But for crying out loud you don’t leave a victim behind as we do not live in the dark ages anymore.

Live is too short and too unpredictable and their should be a bit more love for eachother.

The Old Sailor,

How to deal with a financial set back

Dear Bloggers,


Today I had to ask for a loan from a relative and this all due to the fact that our car broke down, the tax office had their things sorted and send a huge bill and on top of it all I got fined for a accident that I cannot proof if it was me who caused it. Good gracious where should I get all this money from? Well with lead in my shoes, I knocked on a good Samaritans door. We thought up an arrangement and I will pay it back step by step, bless these good people.

When you're sinking in debt, it's frustrating, stressful and can make you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. It can be pretty easy to feel as if you will never get rid of your debt, but you can. There are many different things you can do to pay off your debt sooner. Here are some important tips and tricks for the broke and desperate for getting rid of your debt.

Think of the Extra Money You Spend Each Month -

I figured out quickly enough that we had approx. 500 euro less each month after I had to stop sailing and that is a major set back, Although I may not be swimming in cash, chances are you spend extra money every month. You may pay to eat out, go to the movies, purchase things you love, etc. How much money do you spend each month on things like this? If you add up the amount of extra money you spend each month, you will probably be surprised to know how much it really is! If you cut down on your spending each month, you can pay off your debt much faster. For instance, rather than spending 20% of your income, spend 10% on extra things. This way, you can still enjoy the fruits (eventhough it is not easy sometimes.) of your work and you'll be working toward being debt free.

Make a List of Your Debts -

It will help you to pay off your debts if you have all of the information in front of you. Make a complete list of your debts, including what is owed, who the creditor is, what the interest rate is, when the payments are due and what the minimum payments are. If possible, list them in order from the highest interest rates to the lowest. The ones at the top should be given more attention than the lower interest rate bills. So, paying the minimum payment on all of them except for the higher interest rate bills is a good idea. For the top ones, send any extra amount that you can afford. This will help you pay off your debt faster and save money by not paying so much interest.

Debt is anything but fun and can make you feel as if you will never be free again. However, using the methods above, you can pay off your debt and experience a clean credit report once again! Good luck.

For the first time I felt that I was drowning, it’s a hard knock life for us.

The Old Sailor,