How to understand a womans way of thinking.

Dear Bloggers,


I will be probably in every female readers mind as sexist male, but that was not the idea when i started writing this and I did a fair amount of research before I would burn my fingers on this subject. I have tried to write it in the way that I think how womens minds are working. I came up with this after watching the movie "What women want." were he can hear what women think and he can give them the right answers. (wooh.................Spooky.) The movie is with a real die hard in the world of actionmovies Mel Gibson and starts of like we all know him as the ultimate alpha male (that is the same guy from Mad Max and Braveheart a few of my kind of movies.) but after a nasty fall with a hairdryer into the bathtub it really becomes scarey.

Let me start this part of this blog with a brief explanation of how women's hormones affect their sex drive. When the hormones start fluctuating up and down inside a woman's body it's not just some chemical change that goes unnoticed. It affects the way she thinks, the way she feels mentally as well as the way she feels physically. If a woman's hormones are out of whack she may feel like killing her husband for looking at her funny.

Let's talk about the effect children have on a woman's level of desire. Children are a joy to have and there are very few moms who hate being one, most are enthralled with the idea even before conception. Once kids arrive on the scene however, a woman's priorities change. Meeting you at the front door naked with the exception of pearls becomes secondary to making sure the kids are breathing properly at night. In other words while you might still be the hunka hunka hot love master in her life you are not who she thinks of first thing in the morning anymore. I completely understand how you as men might feel a little hurt by that but let me be perfectly honest here; we all know that when the household 16 month old is standing up in the crib banging on the side of it with a toy and has a poopy diaper drooping to his knees it's not going to be you that runs off to clean it up. It will be in most cases your wife that will concern herself with diaper rash and stinky bottoms, and if she doesn't think of these things first thing in the morning, who will? It does get better though, the kids do get older and more self reliant and eventually they won't need you at night time anymore.

So, now, if your wife isn't experiencing menopause, hormones are fine, the kids are older and you still aren't getting any then this part is most likely for you. Stop acting like Harry the caveman and remind her that you at one time had some manners.

Be nice. That's right I said it, be nice. Don't bother using the excuse, "well she's not nice to me." If you had to put up with the things I described in this article would you feel like being nice? Instead of coming home from work and dropping all your belongings by the door and hitting the beer take a few moments to pull her aside, away from the kids and just say hello. That ten second hello can change the rest of your wife's day, who knows you might just get lucky. It's hard to be nice to someone when you feel like you've been taken advantage of and that's what a lot of women feel like.

How to Get Some

Now that you understand why you haven't been having as much sex as you like, let me tell you how you can get it. There will be challenges along the way and your timing might be off but with a lot of practice you will eventually hit the target and get laid.

Do not assume your wife is thinking about sex while she's lounging in the tub. Chances are she's hoping that you aren't thinking about sex and that she's being treated to a wonderful night of kid free sleep. This is where you have to get crafty and be extremely sensitive to her moods. Tune in you big harry caveman and watch how she reacts to what you do. If at any time she sighs heavily, (and I do not mean while in throws of passion) acts as though she's tired or avoids intimacy at all, back off. You're pushing too fast and irritating her.

While she's lounging in that tub get yourself ready. Light the candles and put on some music you both enjoy. Turn down the bed and place the massaging lotion nearby. Spray the sheets with your cologne, the sense of smell heightens a woman's sex drive and that's what you're aiming for. Now grab a towel as soon as you hear the water draining from the tub and go in there and help her dry off. You're going to have to pay attention at the door and listen for the water because a lot of hotel rooms are soundproof and you may not hear it over the music. When you do step into the bathroom don't just lunge at her like you have never seen her naked before. Move in slowly and gently dry her off with the towel taking the time to plant loving kisses against her skin as you go. If she says stop, then stop and try another slower more gentle approach. If you're doing this right you'll know because she won't stop you and you'll be able to pick up on subtle clues that she's getting in the mood. You should notice her breathing getting a little shallower and depending on the location of the kisses her pulse may pick up. You can tell if her pulse picks up by kissing softly on the inside of her wrist. Notice how crafty that is? This, men, is how you learn to listen to your wife's body.

Once your wife is nice and dry treat her to champagne and brush out her hair. Don't roll your eyes at me either, women love it. It's pampering and all women love to be pampered. Why do you think we enjoy salons and spas the way we do? It's not just because we love to spend your money, although a lot of us do. At this stage of the game you should either be on the bed or a sofa depending on the hotel room you reserved. If you are on the sofa and are nowhere near the bed explore the possibilities of just making out. Making out is a great way to get things going because your wife will then understand that although she's being treated to a night out sex is expected if she's willing to go that far. It's also a way to break the monotony and do something in a strange place which can be a huge turn on. This tactic also gives you a slight advantage. If you are paying attention to what your wife's body is doing during this make out session then you'll know whether or not you're going to have sex before you even hit the bed.

At some point tear yourself away from your wife, or not, and move things to the bed. Remember the massaging lotion I told you to put near the bed? Now's the time big boy; break that baby out. Use it and I don't mean sparingly. Use the whole darn bottle if you want to but make it long, slow and luxurious. Use your body to massage her body, get creative and have fun. Rub her toes just as much as you would rub any other part of her body. Pay special attention to every part of her that you touch.

Don't forget to laugh. Some of the best foreplay is silly pillow talk. Try to remember what it was like before the kids and the mortgage. Bring back that sense of lightness to your relationship with laughter; it's sexy. Sex is supposed to be fun so stop taking yourself so seriously and just goof around like kids again. You should be getting some about now so put this article away and savor your wife.

It doesn't matter what stage you are at in life, no couple should have to endure a sexless marriage. There are things you can do whether it be a medical solution or a personal one, the key is to take the journey together and cherish the moments you do have together because the best thing you can do for your relationship is to keep the spark alive. That and get rid of Harry the caveman.

The Old Sailor,

My scientific approach of valentine’s day

Dear Bloggers,



When Love Blossoms
Romantic love, is not an emotion.
Rather, it’s “a motivation system, it’s a drive, it’s part of the reward system of the brain.”
It’s a need that compels the lover to seek a specific mating partner.
Then the brain links this drive to all kinds of specific emotions depending on how the relationship is going.
All the while, the prefrontal cortex is assembling data, putting information into patterns, making strategies, and monitoring the progress toward “life’s greatest prize.”



Love also hurts.
A recent study where 40 percent of people who had been dumped by their partner in the previous eight weeks experienced clinical depression and 12 percent severe depression.
It is estimated that 50 to 70 percent of female homicides are committed by lovers and spouses.



Divide love into three categories involving different brain systems:

1) Lust (the craving for sexual gratification), driven by androgens and estrogens;

2) Attraction (or romantic or passionate love, characterized by euphoria when things are going well, terrible mood swings when they’re not, focused attention, obsessive thinking, and intense craving for the individual), driven by high dopamine and norepinephrine levels and low serotonin; and

3) Attachment (the sense of calm, peace, and stability one feels with a long-term partner) driven by the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin.

“I think the sex drive evolved to get you out there to get looking for anything at all,”
Romantic love, is developed to focus one’s mating energy on just one individual while attachment works to tolerate this individual long enough to raise children as a team.



Romantic love, is a stronger craving than sex.
People who don’t get sex don’t kill themselves, she said.
On the other hand, it is not adaptive to be romantically in love for 20 years.
“First of all, we would all die of sexual exhaustion."Not surprisingly."



When Love Fades
High levels of oxytocin and vasopressin may interfere with dopamine and norepinephrine pathways, which may explain why attachment grows as mad passionate love fades.
The antidote may be doing novel things together to goose the two love neurotransmitters.
Meanwhile, elevated testosterone can suppress oxytocin and vasopressin.
There is good evidence, Dr Fisher said, that men with higher testosterone levels tend to marry less often, be more abusive in their marriage, and divorce more regularly.
The reverse can also be true.
If a man holds a baby, levels of testosterone go down, perhaps in part because of oxytocin and vasopressin going up.



“Have you ever been dumped by someone you really love?”
An equal number also dumped someone who really loved them.
Getting dumped makes you love the person harder, a so called “frustration attraction.”
Psychologists also refer to “abandonment rage” and “frustration depression,” which may paradoxically work to hasten the relationship’s end.
Then comes resignation and despair, where the brain’s reward system begins to realize the you are never going to get what you want.
Despair may seem counterproductive, but it is in essence “a failure of denial” that allows us to see the world for what it is and sets us on the road to finding a more suitable partner.



Love at Risk
“Sex, Sexuality, and Serotonin,” antidepressants may jeopardize romantic love.
As well as high dopamine and norepinephrine, she said, romantic love is characterized by low serotonin.
Low serotonin would explain the obsessive thinking attached to romantic love.
For example 95 percent of the day and couldn’t stop thinking about your loved one. This kind of obsessive thinking is comparable to obsessive compulsive disorder, also characterized by low serotonin.
Serotonin-enhancing antidepressants, will lower the emotions, including the elation of romance, and suppress obsessive thinking, a critical component of romance.
These antidepressants also inhibit orgasm, clitoral stimulation, penile erection (“the entertainment system, as I would call it”), and deposit of seminal fluid.
From an anthropological perspective, a woman who can’t get an orgasm may fail to distinguish Mr Right from Mr Wrong.
Seminal fluid contains dopamine and norepinephrine, oxytocin and vasopressin, testosterone and estrogen, and FSH and LH.

Without an orgasm, said Dr Fisher, men lose the ability to send courtship signals. Said one man, who lost his motivation and self esteem as a result, “I just stopped dating.”
Ironically, because antidepressants inhibit depression, patients may lose their ability to send an honest clear signal for social support and (for those with mild depression) lose the necessary insight to make hard decisions (the failure of denial factor).



When Sex Goes Right
If I research what goes on molecularly during arousal and orgasm: Testosterone drives sexual activity in men.
Testosterone also affects women, plus estrogen and progesterone, associated with permissivity and receptivity, respectively.
These three hormones help maintain genital structure and function.
Dopamine is tied into sexual desire while norepinephrine is related to subjective excitement.
During orgasm, oxytocin levels rise.



When Sex Goes Wrong
I mentioned that serotonin can dampen sexual desire and excitement.
It can also deaden sensation, leading to vasocongestion (“blue balls”).
Prolactin can have a negative impact on sexual excitement.
Risk factors for sexual dysfunction include being at least 50 years old, married, less than college education, not employed full time, tobacco use, higher doses of antidepressants, concomitant meds, co-occurring ills known to cause sexual dysfunction, prior history of antidepressant-induced sexual dysfunction, history of little or no sexual enjoyment, and regarding sexual functioning as not or somewhat important.



In patients with depression, that figure is 70 to 80 percent.
Depression itself rarely causes sexual dysfunction, Dr Muskin explained.
Untreated depression, however, often causes a lack of interest in sex, and disrupts intimacy.
The reality that getting well is more important than sexual dysfunction.
Patients and their partners, he said, may need to reconfigure how they have sex. Arousal may need to be at a higher pitch before intercourse, and orgasm need not be linked to the act.
Although Viagra may improve erection, it doesn’t help much with libido and orgasm. The following natural treatments, he said, show promise: Rhodiola (an arctic plant that works for both men and women, may work on dopamine, helps libido and boosts energy); Ginko biloba (for impotence in men and maintains erection); Gingseng (appears to work on dopamine, so woman can benefit too)



Love from Potion Number 32
“Valentine’s Day cards usually depict Cupid’s dart as the messenger of love.
New scientific research, however, shows that a key messenger molecule, rather than Cupid’s dart, is responsible for female sexual receptivity.
Hmmm, how can a normal man stimulate the woman of their dreams into a sexual driven animal?

The Old Sailor,

Myth busted that women want to have less sex.

Dear Bloggers,

We (me and my spouce) found out after many years that we are completely different and that she is thinking like a woman and I am thinking like a man.

I really start to think how it would be if we would be thinking the same way.
If it comes to the point we are the same, the only difference I can discover is that she is looking for somebody that needs to open up more to her world.
But why doesn't she guide me in the right direction?
I am an idiot if it comes to the romantic part, I must admit I was a lot better at it in my younger days.



I hope I will find my way back, otherwise I might loose the most beautiful thing in life, and of course I still love her with all my heart.
Unfortunate as I am, the men's part of my brain has taken over my female side of the body. (As a lot of men have to admit, I am afraid that we are thinking to much with our dick.)
But that is the problem if you have a women with a lovely body, could you stop thinking of anything else?



I found the follwing things by strawling through the web and foud the following issues, that I thought as a man to be worth mentioning.

Bachelors might have sex on their minds more than their single female counterparts, but once in a committed relationship, men and women have similar attitudes toward the act, a new study finds.

Past studies, the scientists pointed out, have shown that compared with women, men are more sexually permissive, endorse casual sex at higher rates and masturbate more often.
And even in dreamland, men are from Mars and women from Venus. A recent study showed men were more than twice as likely as women to report dreams about multiple sex partners.

Sexual feelings

While women placed more emphasis on the emotional aspects of sex, men focused more on the physical side of sex.
Men were much more likely to find sex personally and physically pleasurable, while women were more likely to think sex violates social taboos.
Thoughts often turn into actions. “Sexually restrictive gender roles too often become self-fulfilling prophecies because women know that they are expected to be less sexual than men, “and men know that they are expected to be more sexual than women.”



Men gave much higher ratings for risky sexual behaviors, such as “I should have sex with as many people as possible,” than women.
And women were more apt to endorse waiting longer and not engaging in premarital sex.



When Mr. Right shows up, however, women ditch society-imposed gender roles, warming up to sexual pleasures, the researchers found.
In the context of an intimate relationship, both genders expressed that sex was important as a way to bring couples closer, to help maintain healthy relationships and to increase one’s self confidence.

“People in romantic relationships give more importance to their own feelings and their partners’ than they do to social expectations about sexual behavior,”

Hmm... It is about time to change somethings in my head, maybe it is not too late yet.
But I really hate butterflies in my stomach.

The Old Sailor,

Unfaithful

Dear Bloggers,

Unfaithful is the word of the day.

(This is my greatest fantasy, the girl of all my erotic dreams)

“Well? Tell me! What would you do?”
(this discussion started when we talked about sexual hunting feelings, my opponent is everything I am not "Young, free an single")
These are my questions to my opponent.
The subject is committing adultery and more people are showing up to give their opinion.
The small talk about this subject turned all of sudden into the talk of the day.
“Would you tell it?” someone is asking.
With no doubt I say: "Yes, I would tell her."

I get up and walk away from the group.
“What the hell is going on” I wonder why this is so important to them, are they afraid that their own partner might do the same?



And is that not partly their own fault, women are strange in that way.
“What would you do?” someone all of a sudden asks.
“If you would see a friend of you kissing someone else?”
Straight forward as I am, I answer: “I will warn him about what this might do to his future.”
“And furthermore I find that he should tell his girlfriend otherwise I could not face them as a couple.”
“But what if she was the one?”



“Then I would talk with her, if this was a wise decission in her life?”
The remark is clear: “I never thought that you would be so much softer towards women”
I react: “The difference between man and woman are so huge.”
And my opinion is that men think as a hunter, with women it is more about feelings and it is much deeper.
I guess that the woman has already said goodbye to her relationship, before she goes into a new adventure, eventhough she still loves her man, but in a different way.
“He simply can not arouse her enough to give her the shivers when they have sex.”



“To me it is somehow kind of logical” Let’s have a smoke.
When we enter the smoking room still discussing this matter.
Other persons jump in and give their opinion.
“I woke up once in someones bedroom and I could not remember what happened” But the comment on a note on the table said it all. “Goodmorning beautiful, I love you.”
(No!, I am not going to tell you who said this, as it will undermine my integrity.)



Then someone else tells that her family goes first.
“Oh, I have been trying to mess up someones relationship.”
Says all of sudden someone, where I never expected that kind of things from.
My brain is runing on top speed and I am listening sharp, as this a great subject to place on my blog.


(something for the girls, otherwise I am called a sexist)

My conclusion is: “That we are all have gone through different experiences and all think in our own way.”
Some of us have enough and do not struggle with these kind of things, others have a fantasy and feel themselves comfortable with that.
And there are of course the ones that bring this fantasy to live.
And you know that they are having a relationship at home.
I am convinced that nobody is for a 100% satisfied in life, it explains a lot about us as human beings. But also that sex is important in someones life.

“Why are otherwise condoms and viagra are sold so much?”
A good investment at the moment a sex is a stabile factor even there is a financial crisis.
But tell me ..........honestly dear bloggers,
“What would you do if the friend of your best friend is unfaithful to her partner?
It gave me a lot food for thought, what about you?

The Old Sailor,

Parade of the bums

Dear Bloggers,

As I am only home for a short period, we had to go shopping on a Saturday.
And that is definetly not my favourite hobby, as you get pretty irritated by pensioners that have to pick up their social lives and block in the mean time with their shopping carts the alleyway.
Another thing with them is that can hold up the cue with counting out all their cents at the till.
Further there are mothers with children, which she can not handle on her own, as they are screaming and running through the shop.
And these are absolutely the spoiled kids, and I just wonder what is daddy doing at this moment?
Is he like me not home, or is he not willing to go with his family.
He was only the producer of the seed to make these little monsters, but she was the only one that wanted to have kids.
So that is why daddy is sleeping in, and she does not dare to fight him.
She still loves him, but something inside her is telling her that she is not fully happy with her live.
Ok, he is having a great income but he did not turn out, to be the romantic prince that he was when she just met him.



At that time she was young and had a lot of guys around her that tried to get her attention.
Or was it a pure sexual thing that these young blokes wanted.
Today she is there in the supermarket just in her thirties and she is joining all these other women, she is one of them, who is not getting any attention of her husband anymore.
They have a set live, they make love on Wednesday and Saturdaynights when the kids are sleeping and the soccergame is over.
Today she has done something very naughty.
She got out of her regular informal clothing, and dressed herself up as she was dressed when she was just eighteen.



Today she became a member of the parade of the bums.
She is wearing a short jackett and a thight pair of jeans, real eye candy, my mind is spinning another woman is playing with me.
I have to get myself down to earth again, for crying out loud what is happening to me.
And she is not the only one dressed like this, there are more women on the hunt.
The future is scaring me, more and more I get affraid of growing old.
Before I could hide myself as I fell for young girls, and tell myself you are to old for them.



But now I can’t hide as they are from my age, maybe my wife should do a better job to keep me away from all these tempting ladies.
I am thinking of sex all day, I am just like all the other guys and there is nothing wrong with a happy fantasy.
I feel like I am eighteen again and the hunters blood is crawling up in my body again.
The only difference is that we all have more live experience.
It never struck me before, but today it did.
Maybe I got as well a different look on women as before.
Still I am a man who is running around in the world watching other women, if I stop looking then there is something wrong.
I have to get hungry outside and eat at home.
But today was a good day as there was a lot of competition for the parade of the bums.

Bad luck for me that when we got home, I got horny, but she didn’t.
Another day without any kind of sex passed by, has my time come to only watch women, and have only sex on set days.
Is my wife starting to get old now or did she loose her interest in me?
This is really scaring me.

The Old Sailor,

Love gives you wings

Love gives you wings?

While I was sitting in the waiting room of the dentist I read a part of the following article, I was there with a terrible toothache and as a happy ending one of my moulders was extracted.


Love gives wings

The article I finished reading on the internet and it was published in Dutch in 2004 (that F**king old news) what you find by the dentist.



This is how the article starts:
‘It was beautiful weather about 13 degrees, wind in the back’, These things Nijboer remembers after he has beaten the record on the Dutch marathon. ‘Furthermore I just graduated and met my girlfriend who is now my wife. These kind of circumstances you can’t just create. But they are giving you wings.’ If you should believe all the writers of poëtic popsongs, is Nijboer not the only one, who is struck by love and all other things seem to go better in life. Bryan Adams (When the feeling’s right, I can run all night) until Whitney Houston, from The Olsen Brothers until Chris Norman, the wings of love should by many of us sweep us up to severe hights. Is love giving us wings ? And how are these wings working?



About the deepest functions of love and falling in love can higher educated people have total different opinions. For many of them it is clear: In the end – Think about Darwins opinion – the love is only there to keep the species a life. ‘Being in love is hanging strongly together with sexual desire’, says Cas Wouters, professor sociology from the University Utrecht. Being head over heals is in this approach of love the engine that turns the sexual behavior on, with as a result reproduction of the species. Others see for love a roll of freedom in it. The romantic love, has according to them, in the biggest part of history love was playing a secondary roll in life. Especially when it came to reproduction ‘The strong combination between love and reproduction of the species is only about a century old’, says seksuoligist and psychotherapist Carolien Roodvoets, author of "Nu alleen de liefde nog", (Now only the love still) a selfhelpbook for single females above thirty years of age.

Melting together with a partner
‘In the prehistoric times women were just in between fertilized, as dogs and horses do it just happens’, says Roodvoets. Marriages, she analysed, were not there because of love, but more for the sake of economic interests or power proportions. ‘The love has maybe always been there but it was never the switch to be hit for sex.’ But , it was there in the interest of reproduction, the need for love can be as strong as the need for food or sleep, believes also Roodvoets. ‘Every human being suffers of existentiël lonelyness’, she thinks. ‘the love can ease the pain a bit.’

It sounds like the Eros-mythe of Aristophanes, were Plato wrote about. The prehistoric human has united according to this story both genders. But when they threatened the gods because they thought they were surpreme, Zeus cut the human beings into two. Since then we are all looking for our better half. ‘The desire to melt together with their partner, is the heart of love’, thinks Roodvoets. The question is: does it get us to greater hights?



Who goes looking for the hard proof about stimulating side effects of the human falling in love, will not find much, barely nothing: poëts, philosphers en romantics, and in a lesser way also the alfa- en gammascientists have all told their tales, but in the exact, biomedical science the subject is not really worked out. Although this is not that surprizing: Being in love is a distinctive function that can be very difficult to test on guinnee pigs. And with living humans it is tricky to experiment, if they are being in love or not. Also because pharmaceutic companies are not looking yet for a “fall in love pill”, therefore we are missing money and motivation for a large scaled investigation in this field.

Theoretics about love
Still there is a lack of theoretics about the biochemical ground of the loving feeling, and the effects that they are having on our functioning around it. The most popular theory is speaking about having any doubt and calls it ‘the molecule of love’, also known as phenylethylamine, a small amfetamine kind of molecuul that de brain can make herself.

According to the followers of this theory is phenylethylamine forming(in English shorted to PEA) the first and central link in a finetuned network of signals who are steering the body when it is heavily in love. A shot PEA in the brain would be the starting signal for making the hormones like dopamine, adrenaline en noradrenaline, all with their own stimulating and braking effects.

Dopamine, for example, is a brain hormone that is closely involved by pleasurable and even euforic feelings, due to the fact that stimulating side of it has effect on the ‘rewarding centre’ of the brain.- this centre plays a big role by addicted persons. That dopamine can influence sexual behavior comes out when Parkinson disease patients are getting short of dopamine and this is filled in with dopamine from outside: the sexual drive and desire can strongly rise after the insertion of dopamine.

Adrenaline in the centre?
In the centre of the boosting workout of being ‘head over heals’ it could be formed by the hormone adrenaline. This hormone prepares – not only by being in love, but also by fear- the muscles in the body for action, if needed the body can preform optimal. The vains are getting narrow, de heartfrequence and the bloodpressure are rising, the congestion is running on low and the sences and the brain are being on extra alert – all ready to get in action fast and sharp when ever needed.

The discovery of small amounts of PEA in cacao and chocolate gave these populair theory the last few years the extra fuel. On several internetsites you can read that PEA declares why some persons after a disappointment in love fully get in the grip of chocolate bars – all to get enough of this stuff into the brain, although it is clear that PEA already in the bowels is dismantled and due to that – unfortunately – never will reach the brain.

In reality, says endocrinologist Focko Rommerts from the Erasmus University Rotterdam, en theorys like this have to be taken not to serious. About the central rol of PEA by love is as a matter of the fact less known than that they all say or write, he explains. ‘After the first articles published about this subject has everybody made his own opinion about the substance. The reality is that we not know that much about the hormonal changes during the time that we are falling in love.’

Matter of hormones
Our body make continiusly dozens of hormones, declares Rommerts, which anyway all react on eachother. It is not that easy to pinpoint the hormone which is responsible for what it is exactly doing. An extra complicated factor is that many hormones on different places in the body give total different effects. ‘In the vains fishing for elements in the hope to discover how love is working, is as hopeless as looking through the garbage of a restaurant to find out what yesterdays guests had for diner’, this is how Rommerts recapitulates the problem for endocrinologists. Probably it will be proven, he presumpts, that many of the hormones playing one roll at the same time, ‘because if it was only one, we had closed this case a long time ago.’

A few years ago the young Swiss neurobiologist Andreas Bartels, then still a doctoral student in London, but in the meantime working at the Max Planck-institute for Biological Cybernetics in the German city of Tübingen, was turning it another way around. He decided to find out about the biological secret behind the love by taking a different route, a kind of following the tracks. Together with his professor, Semir Zeki ,Bartels traced volunteers that, after their own telling, were really insanely “head over heals about someone”.Out of seventy people that reacted were seventeen selected by the doctoral student as test persons, average age was 23 years old. The ones that were chosen had during the interview been ‘dripping in’ loving feelings.

The chosen turtle doves were placed in a machine that with the help of magnetic waves every few seconds was making pictures of their brain. Half of the experiment was that they looked at a friends picture, nothing special. But the other half was melting away by looking at the laughing faced picture of the love of their life.

Activated braincentres
After measuring the two scientists deducted the two series from eachother and reconstructed it as one average set of brains. The result was a functional magnetic resonance image (fMRI), a picture that shows in one flash of the eye, which parts of the brain are using relative a lot of oxygen and which ones use just a little oxygen on the moment that the picture was shown of the one they where head over heals with.

The brains section that lighted up, tells Bartels, are centres that are also being involved by other positive emotions, and are being part of the already named rewarding centre. Other braincentres, involved by negative feelings and social disapproving, seemed to be on non active when they looked at the picture of their love – who said that love does not make you blind?



The activated centres, Bartels remarkably finds out that they, have nerve cells where we know from that they are very sensitive for two hormones: oxitocine en vasopressine. Both of them are in the last few years, especially in experiments with mice, being brought in connection more often with the drive to strong social matingbonds that will be formed, like the bond between the mother and the newborn child of the bond between two adult animals.

Love as encouragement
Here brings the brain explorer the falling in love investigation through a couple of spectacular brainpictures us back to the hormones – although they are not looking like anything anymore that gave the physical encouragement to Nijboer that brought him to his record time.

That love gives wings, can still not be measured and be based on biological hard evidence: For the excistance of stimulating physiological effects of being in love there is no hard evidence. But that doesn’t mean that the loving feeling on the psycholgical field can not be a form of aroussel – and that especially when this is being answerred.

‘Love is affirmative’, says Roodvoets. ‘It reinforces your self esteem through the fact that your partner gives you the feeling that you belong to him or her. That you are being the number one. The joy about this works as a pink cloud. You can tone down the things better, you can enjoy yourself on things as a romantic diner or good night of making love. The feeling that someone is there for you, and special the promise of getting mor of all these beatiful things, makes that everything goes a bit easier then normal.’A rotten day at work? What the …. Does it make any difference. More important is where you want to go for diner tonight.’

Who gets butterflies in his stomach, should drink a lot to drown the bastards, before they do any real harm.



The Old Sailor,

Not just good, but very good for you

Dear bloggers,

About a week ago, I ended up in a deep conversation with a good friend of mine, we talked about the fact why we are actually being on this planet and for what reason? We also found out that behaving agressive or getting angry is actually a silly kind of emotion. And believe me it does not help you at all.
Although it can take the pressure away when you have a burst out.
Just give up pretending that you are so special.
We will all end the same,so you better make something out of it.
Relax and take it easy.

In life there are only a few things important, a lot of people forget to enjoy themselves.

If your wife or girlfriend feels stressed, depressed, has a headache or wants to get in shape, she should simply read the following guidelines.

Not just good, but very good for you
have loads of sex and it helps to keep us healthy



I do not share all my hobbies with my friends, but at least we can approach this scientificly but behind closed doors.
I was surfing on the internet to find me some new things to explore scientific, this time it was not beer but sex another hobby of me.

Okay, so maybe there’s some wishful thinking going on — the science isn’t exactly iron-clad — but evidence is accumulating that the more sex you have, the better off you are.

Yes, boys and girls you should do these things to keep in good shape you do not only need a fitness room, but for the benefits of sex are generally thought to people in loving, monogamous relationships.
For the once flying solo, be carefull a sexually transmitted disease might kill you in the healthiest days of your life.



Risky sex with lots of partners will probably do more harm than good.
But while researchers try to nail down the impact on overall health, data is mounting when it comes to some specifics.
Here are several potential benefits:

1. Easing depression and stress



The release from orgasm does much to calm people. It helps with sleep, and that is whether we talk about solo sex or sex with a partner.
But wait, there’s more. A recent study of college students at the State University of New York in Albany suggests that semen acts as an antidepressant. Females in the study who were having sex without condoms (see safe sex caution, above) had fewer signs of depression than women who used condoms or abstained from sex.
“These data are consistent with the possibility that semen may antagonize depressive symptoms,” the authors wrote, “and evidence which shows that the vagina absorbs a number of components of semen that can be detected in the bloodstream within a few hours of administration.”
Hmm, I am not kidding you, ladies. Semen is good stuff. It gives a shot of zinc, calcium, potassium, fructose, proteins -- a veritable cornucopia of vitality!
It is as good as breakfast, with fresh squeezed orange juice (sorry I got carried away a bit)

2. Relieving pain



Orgasm is a powerful pain-killer. Oxytocin, a natural chemical in the body that surges before and during climax, gets some of the credit, along with a couple of other compounds like endorphins.
According to a study by Beverly Whipple, professor emeritus at Rutgers University and a famed sexologist and author, when women masturbated to orgasm “the pain tolerance threshold and pain detection threshold increased significantly by 74.6 percent and 106.7 percent respectively.”

3. Boosting cardio health



I can’t resist another plug for semen. It’s possible that male his little swimmers can lower your blood pressure.
Another recent study found that women who gave their men oral sex, and swallowed, had a lower risk of preeclampsia, the dangerously high blood pressure that sometimes accompanies pregnancy.
No, I’m not making this up. “The present study shows that oral sex and swallowing sperm is correlated with a diminished occurrence of preeclampsia,” said the Dutch authors.

See? We told you it was good for you.
There have been other studies showing that sex lowers blood pressure, and might even protect against strokes because of its stress-relieving ability.
But when we think of sex and the cardio system.
Is there nicer way to get "a broken heart"
Well, not only does that hardly ever happen, but sex might actually protect the heart. So let's get started with a life, that contains a weekly schedule of frequent sexual intercourse.

4. Countering prostate cancer
Over the past few years, several journals have published studies showing that the more ejaculations the better.
Now the Journal of the American Medical Association, no less, has reported that “high ejaculation frequency was related to decreased risk of total prostate cancer.” It doesn’t matter how a man climaxes -- intercourse or masturbation.
So next time he says, “Really, honey, it’s therapy,” he could be telling the truth.
And I have a different opinion about men now with well devolleped upper arms (okay, not every bodybuilder is wanker)

5. Healing wounds
Some evidence suggests sex can be rejuvenating to the point of helping wounds to heal faster. Several experiments have shown that oxytocin can help even stubborn sores, like those suffered by diabetics, to heal by regenerating certain cells.

6. Fighting aging



Maybe it’s the reverse of the aging process, maybe the happiness, maybe all of the above.
One thing’s for sure: “Use it or lose it” is literally true.
For ever young isn't that the dream of many of us?
Complications like urinary tract infections. What’s one way to prevent it? More intercourse.
Sex is a form of exercise, after all, and like all exercise, it burns calories and can help battle the onslaught of the years. In fact, nursing home experts say they wish oldsters would have more sex.
Can sex really make you live longer? Maybe.
Of course, it could be that these gents were just healthier and felt like having sex more often.

But since there’s no evidence that lots of sex is bad for you, what have you got to lose?

I just follow these lines in life:
Live life as long it is there
pray for less fights
spend your last money on a drink
and fuck if your life is depending on it

The Old Sailor,