Facebook invite sparks riot in Haren

Dear Bloggers,

It is just a bit more than a week ago that some of our colleagues got involved in this drama in the commuters town of Haren. A small town of 19.000 with pretty normal inhabitants. We have a couple of buslines running through and I never experienced any trouble here. Until this poor high school student placed invitation on facebook and forgot one little mark. The colleagues that have been there during the riots have feared for there lives. As these there vehicles got smashed with bricks, streettiles, sticks and for sale signs and whatever these idiots could find on there stampede. It was a complete warzone one of them told me. 

When Dutch high school student Merthe planned a small gathering with friends to mark her 16th birthday, she had no idea it would turn into a riot-filled night with thousands of sensation seekers descending on her small Dutch hometown of Haren. But one forgotten click meant her Facebook invitation went viral and now editors, journalists, police and public officials are asking who is to blame, and who is going to pick up the after-party damage tab? 

After Merthe neglected to mark her party invitation as “private,” it went viral, with some 30,000 people saying they would “attend” what became known as Project X Haren, named after an American film with a similar theme. I think it is strange that people are coming too a non excisting party to play the hooligan. There must be some wires missing in their brains. Maybe these so called thrill seekers should be sterilized as a part of their punishment.

Police estimate that some 3,000 youngsters actually made the trip last Friday night to the upscale town of 19.000 inhabitants near the northern city of Groningen, where 500 riot police were waiting for them.

“Miserable and frightening”
In a night that saw cars burned and windows smashed, the numbers aren’t pretty: some 35 arrests, 30 people reportedly treated in the hospital, and damages that insurers are estimating could be in the millions. Even the local Albert Heijn supermarket wasn’t spared.

"I went because a friend of mine said it would be fun…we understood something would be organised,” said attendee and University of Groningen student. But after staying for only half an hour, he realised nothing was organised at all and left the scene he called it: “miserable and frightening, not really a success.”
In the aftermath of the Haren affair, indeed, even in the lead-up--there’s been a lot of finger pointing about who is to blame for the out-of-control event. Many observers blame the social media sites where the party originated, not only Facebook, but the re-tweets on Twitter and even promotional videos on YouTube.

Blame the messenger
The Consumer Affairs Minister of Germany, a country that has had at least two of its own viral parties says Facebook should change its privacy settings to avoid private invitations becoming public. “What has to happen before Facebook takes action?’ asked Minister Ilse Aigne. Facebook Netherlands, meanwhile, says while it regrets the trouble in Haren, it is not responsible, and the company maintains its privacy settings are not difficult to use. In the Netherlands a lot of youngsters use Hyves a similar program like Facebook which has a pop up before you place something which asks who should be able to read this? You can choose from options like friends and everyone. I would say Facebook could put in something similar.

On the website of the Dutch media trade magazine Villamedia, editors and academics also weighed in on the debate, with media sociologist Peter Vasterman of the University of Amsterdam saying traditional media’s coverage of the event turned it into something much bigger than social media could have done alone. "Traditional media make an issue really important," said Vasterman of the constant pre-party coverage. But the chief editor of Dutch broadcaster NOS said he was just doing his job. "It's news that a girl makes a mistake on social media and then a village is in fear,” said Marcel Gelauff. “I cannot ignore that."

Haren’s mayor Rob Bats has called for an investigation into the role of both social and traditional media in the Haren affair. “What should we tolerate from the media?” he asked. Dutch Justice Minister Ivo Opstelten, meanwhile, has called the riots “completely unacceptable” and says those who caused the damage should foot the bill.

Double-edged social media
But officials investigating Friday night’s disturbances are using the same social media they blame for the unrest to help them solve it. Police are combing videos and photos from the night in an attempt to track down the troublemakers. A call for the public to upload riot images on the national police’s website has led to four gigabytes of footage so far.

In addition to other public videos of the disturbances that are being used to help identify perpetrators, authorities say they can trace potential witnesses via social media. “We constantly monitor Twitter,” said a Groningen police spokesman.

Facebook, too, is being used by officials to help identity those involved. And in perhaps an even greater irony, the website that spawned Project X Haren may also offer one of the most practical solutions to the town’s immediate problems: according to broadcaster NOS, some 15,000 people have “liked” a Facebook appeal for people to go to Haren to help clean up the mess.

If this is the world we live in, we should fear for the worst if your daughter is on the internet now! So until she has left the house try to explain to her the dark sides of internetcommunities

The Old Sailor, 

Men and wanting only one thing

Dear Bloggers,

Sex researchers are peculiar beasts. Armed with their tape measures, clipboards, surveys, and hidden cameras, they seek to provide a peephole from which to scrutinize that most private of spheres, human sexuality.

The idea that men think about sex every seven seconds, like the claim that we only use 10 percent of our brains, is often repeated but rarely sourced. The number doesn't bear up against scrutiny. According to the Kinsey Report, 54% of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent a few times a week or a few times a month, and 4 percent less than once a month. Even though the Kinsey Report relies on men to self-report on how often they think about sex, it's still eye opening to find that just under half of men aren't even thinking about sex once a day. Clearly, the seven-second rule may be a tad hyperbolic.

“Not Tonight, Honey” is a well known phrase for most man and this might lead to sexual frustration. As man are not all that good at being turned down.

The stereotype about the sex-starved man and the disinterested woman may be more than just a cliche. As it turns out, the instant a woman enters a secure relationship, her sex drive begins to plummet. Four years in, a German study found, fewer than half of women wanted regular sex. And after 20 years, only 20 percent did.

Among men, libido held steady no matter how long they'd been in the relationship. Researchers provide an evolutionary explanation—women's sex drive is initially high to facilitate pair bonding. Meanwhile, desire for tenderness showed the opposite trend. Ninety percent of women craved tenderness, but of men who'd been in relationships for ten years, only 25 percent said they hoped for the same from their partner.

In Three Minutes Flat

Judging from the average porn flick, romance novel, or locker room conversation, a Martian landing on Earth would probably assume that intercourse would last somewhere in the vicinity of 40 minutes. But if that Martian were to actually enter into a relationship, he might be in for a big disappointment. Such marathon sessions are the exception to the rule; surveys find that the average sex session lasts from three to ten minutes. Not that any of this should be so surprising as the average hotel porn viewer watches for just 12 minutes.

I was in a conversation the other day (the only thing I do if there are not that many people on the bus and every subject is welcome as the average run is approx 30 minutes) and the passenger has a less boring ride as well.

This particular young lady who is studying social science introduced me to a new level and we got onto the subject of dating. A lot has changed a total new generation has entered don’t ask, you know how women can talk in circles and the woman expressed discouragement because the men she met were only interested in One Thing. According to her this was not what she was looking for in a relationship, she was more looking for a guy that could take care of himself and sex would not be a main thing. For a moment I was puzzled and thought what has happened to this young lady. Has she had some bad experiences with guys.

 

I said “So what?”  It is a fact that half of the populatian of the human male species are only interested in One Thing.  But I think you should not be to careful when dating as men are all hunters it is in there brain from day one. Only this time I added, “Maybe I am only interested in One Thing, too, but is that a problem to have a conversation with me?”  My poor passenger, whom I thought nothing could shock, blanched. And she said: “No of course there is no problem in conversating but you are so open minded that it shocked me.” She smiled and said: “Maybe you are right about the guys there might be some nice personality behind the hunter.” She got off the bus and waved goodbye to me and smiled.

 

The thing is that men aren’t really interested in only One Thing.  But they certainly need to get that One Thing out of the way.  And, the truth is so do women.  At least, once we reach a certain age. If we aren’t looking for a mother or father for our children, or, necessarily a good provider, if we’re looking for a lover, a companion, and a great man or woman to hang with for some measure of the duration, then we need to be honest with ourselves:  doesn’t The Thing count for something? Don’t we want a man or woman who makes our stomach jump, our heart flop, our mouth long for the kiss?  Aren’t we looking for romance and isn’t romance that tingly feeling we can’t explain? Not in all cases it fades away. But my question is: “Isn’t that the reason women get sex and love so mixed up with each other?”  To love someone you have to want them to touch you and this should not all come from one side.

 

I mean, let’s get real.  We’re dating for a reason. We can go to the movies with a friend.  We’ve got our kids to love, our parents to take care of.  We are all grown up now.  We want someone to take our pants off.

 

A good friend of mine said once: “If a man isn’t thinking about pussy all the time he’s just not paying attention.”  It should be a qoute from a golfer he said, no I didn’t look the quote up because it seemed so preposterous, but I did do an informal survey once when I was still sailing but these guys are all a bit special at least that is what i think. All the men agreed that they thought about it all the time. So I am not only a horndog I am also an intellectual and I would further like to explain:

 

“It’s contextual. We think about a thousand things a day, but pussy is always in the mix. Say we’re thinking about the curve of something, even something mathematical. Well, that leads us back to a woman’s curves. It’s like the shape of a Ferrari or a beautiful lined ship. Everything is designed that it gives the feeling of arousal.  It all leads back my dear. And that is how men think about sex every eight seconds.” Great designers are just horny bastards.

 

I would never hesitate to stereotype my own sex.  Recently when yet another old boyfriend got in touch with my wife through Facebook, I sighed. “Is this one divorced, too?  Every time a man gets divorced, he contacts you. I know what they want.”

 

Yeh, the One Thing. But the truth is that over the years some old girlfriends have found me on Facebook and none of them have wanted that. They just wanted to reconnect, see how I was. This may be because none of my relationships, except one, have ended badly and even the one that ended badly did not involve knives or guns or stalking. A lot of Facebook friends probably hope that they did things better than you.

 

Still, with the latest contact, I asked a male friend what he thought this newest woman might want. “I don’t know” he said.  “I’ve contacted several old girlfriends and it was never for that. But then I am sort of a weird man.”

 

You can tell he was a big help.

 

Turns out I was a very fond memory. Which was nice. 

 

My wife and I got The Thing out of the way pretty quickly and I am still married to herckly. Women are way more in control than we like to admit. Men know that. 

The Old Sailor,

I have no motivation left & there is no luck in life

Dear Bloggers,

I have been wondering for quite awhile now that somehow there is no luck in life at all. But somehow I cannot explain as I met people that have been lucky as they earned enough money too retire. Yes I am a decent and honest above average looking guy with no luck with love and yes I am picky but I dont want to live a lie, I am unlucky in investment and lost a lot of money for a adult with his own property and yes it hurts i tried to set up my future with my wife and kids but I have the feeling that I cannot ever succeed no matter how hard I try.

And yes I have some small health complications partly from all the stress as well and those around expect to much of me, so I distance myself as well and to top it all of I can’t get a decent tolerable job that is giving enough hours and money to pay all the bills. I just get what is left to be filled in at the bus company so there is no line at all in working hours, no rythm at all and that I hate, and on top of it all my friends and collegues who cheat on there girlfriends and do social drugs and when they were single they blew all there money and travelled the world and some are now getting married and have careers and houses. I was like that until 15 years ago. Yes I tried to do the right thing but these things never worked out the last 10 to 15 years somehow our luck ran out

How can I get motivated as I see all this injustices around me and feel I would be succesful if I was a low life yet that is not me cause at the moment I want to give up trying in the sense if I did not have financial commitments I would be on welfare as I am so frustrated all my life has and it is a struggle as I have no bloody luck in anything ?

One of my regular passengers said to me: “I think your seeing it wrong my friend.” Hmmm but why is their no luck for us at all ? I asked and then he answerred: “Don't wait for "luck". Organise your life to get somewhere:

” If your investments fail then you are not making the right choices or it is not your thing. Do something else.”

If you are not "lucky" with girls, then you need to go to the right places were you can meet the the right type of girls but I really would not know were this would be nowadays as all the pubs and discos from my time are either being closed or there are only teenagers to be found. So I would have no idea where the fun is for people from my age. I am still married to my wife and there is no prognoses that this would change but it got me thinking as in my street there are enough divorced man and women living aroudnd me. That is probably why these dating sites are getting more and more popular they discovered how to make a fortune out of the other ones bad luck . When you would go out to try your “luck.” Is it because you forgot how to seduce someone or did you fall on your face too many times and furthermore you need to behave like a gentleman to be a good catch.

Something is pretty clear to me know I am pretty sure that luck is another word for trying hard. “If you are not motivated there will be no luck, so give it your best shot.” You need to be firm about what people should expect from you. But be careful as you can want too much, so my advise is “Do not take on too much.” If you are busy you just tell them you unfortunately do not have time, etc. They will soon get used to it. If you would not take it to a hold you might fully burn out as at the moment they are over-burdoning you it seems. It is your life and your future

Blaming "luck" and life by being unfair sounds very much like a looser. Don't be one. Show that you can take charge of your life. I would say do not only depend on luck it is just something that passes by in your life.

The Old Sailor,