What about 2009

Dear Bloggers,

This will be the last one for the year 2008, in the start of 2009 I will see you again.
I hope that I made your live a little bit more fun through reading my blogs.
Well here is the story.................

I crawled into bed late last night, I did not set my alarm at all, inhaled deeply, curled up with my pillow, and then...was “noiseless” (no engines running and that kind of stuff.) and quiet and snuggled up and wide awake.
I made all this room for a full night's sleep and instead, all I could do was think.
And think and think and think.



Stuck as I am to a daily rhythm I sneaked out of bed quietly, not to wake up anyone else.
I hate myself for this, as I am too impatient to stay in bed and waste my time.

Once thinking over my to do list and panic about how long it takes me to get a few little jobs done, one question lingered in my thoughts, in the dark, as the clock ticked on to the hours past midnight: What about next year?



It didn't feel like a frantic question in my mind.
Instead, it was soothing.
I felt like, once the other thoughts stopped running through my brain, I needed a solution to keep all those strange details quiet.
Maybe for good.
At least for the year.

So, what about next year?

My first thought was to come up with a list of resolutions.
The trouble with resolutions, though, is that they are just filled with pressure and so easy to break.
Then the little leftover guilt pokes at you for the next ten months until you blow it all up again.
Resolutions are not the answer (at least for me, at least this time).

Without resolutions, the question of next year was left hanging.
And then the thought came to me that maybe I just need to create a good intention for my year.
Maybe what would work better for me is to decide how I'd like to live this year and let all the tasks and goals fall under that as I have time and energy and inspiration.

My thoughts quieted for a moment and then the words "self-care" came to me. It's not a revolutionary phrase, not a big, new idea that will blow you or me or anyone else out of the water.
But it was enough.



I've had the kind of manic year that has made it pretty difficult to be good to myself and as it ends, everything in my life was stormy.
I am feeling the impact of putting myself second or fifth place or even dead last.
So I am setting my sights on self-care in 2009.

I'd like that intention to include more nights when I go to bed early, fewer racing thoughts, a return to yoga and meditation and fun kinds of fitness, maybe some time just to do artistic things like drawing and painting . The list could go on and on, and I am sure that every month I will think of new ways to tend to myself.



Will this work better than setting a goal weight or bedtime or number of cardio sessions to punch on my class card? I don't know. But last night, the stress left me and I really settled in when I thought about creating an intention rather than coming up with a resolution. So I choose to go with being inspired by the calm rather than motivated by more pressure this time around the calendar.

But why do these good intentions fail?
In a few days we stand at the beginning of a new year.
New rounds and new chances and of course not to forget new “good” intensions for the new year.

Approximately half of all the Dutch people starts the new year with good intentions.
Most of the time those are intentions that they’ve had before and most of the time those intentions will never become reality.



More than three-quarter of the above mentioned people have the “syndrome of false hope”. If an intention goes into fog, people simply find the intention too difficult or they say that they haven’t done their best. Eventually less than a quarter of those people realize their intentions.

But why in fact do good intentions fail?



1. Lack of knowledge:
People jump in the deep and have no idea what setbacks they will meet with or seductions they encounter and they have no idea how to handle this. The consequence is they rapidly will revert to the old pattern.

2. Too difficult to gain your aim.
To gain your aim means in fact: grow. Think about making smaller steps to attain your personal goal. By making a couple of small steps it will be easier to attain your final goal.

3. The all or nothing idea:
This is the common pitfall. Don’t expect you gain your aim faultless. From time to time there will be a lack of motivation or plenty of seductions. Therefore it is difficult to stay on the correct path. Don’t become demotivated as a result, and always try to continue the right track and always remember your aim. However if you are too far from your aim, you would be well-advised to adjust your aim.

4. I will do it tomorrow, however:
Action!! Some people are able to undertake action immediately and others always postpone everything. In the last case you certainly not come closer to your aim. Organisation and planning are super important!! Write weekly returning moments in you diary. You will aim to goal with less stress.



What about you?
Or would a good intention be good enough for you this New Year?

Well I stick to this phrase like always: “Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

A christmas story

Dear Bloggers,

As I am not much of a Christmas fan, but I will tell you a little Christmas story.
After this, I will put the keyboard in the corner for the coming days.
I shall try to write one more just before the end of the year.
Well here the story comes, have some happy holidays and celebrate Christmas how you think it is right.

On a dark, cold and storm full night, that is how it starts.
It was Christmas Eve.
It was snowing, and I was all alone outside, and I have no family.

So, I'm just sitting there, minding my own business, when out of nowhere, someone sits down next to me.
It's a man, I can tell, because he's wearing shorts and his legs are not shaved.
I ignore him.

Then, he decides to speak.
"You shouldn't be out here alone," he said in a soft voice.
His voice was deep, and he had an accent, I guessed north of England somewhere.
I continued to ignore the mystery-man.
"Don't you have somewhere to go?
It's not safe out here.
"I have nowhere to go."
I responded finally.



"Don't you have family?" he asked, turning towards me slightly.
I still did not look up at him.
"Not anymore.
They kicked me out."
"On Christmas Eve?!" the man exclaimed, sounding shocked.
"They kicked you out on Christmas eve, when it's snowing and like, five below zero?! Jeez!"

"Well, it was their choice."
"Do you have a place to stay at least?
A friend's house maybe?"
"No."
"Alright".
Come and go with me to my place.
You can stay there.

" Alarmed, I looked up at the man".
"Umm..." was all I could say.
"Please?
I'll give you some dry, warm clothes.

" His blue eyes were wide, and i was shocked by how beautiful they were.
(was this the so called Messiah?)
"Why are you being nice to me?" I asked quietly.
"Because no one deserves to be alone on Christmas.
Now, come on, before you freeze out here."



"What's your name?" he asked, suddenly realising he didn't know it.
I did not answer but there was hot chocolate on the stove, and I got a very cozy place to sleep.

I thought by myself:
"Like, a half an hour ago".
I was outside all alone, and he brought me back here.
"I seriously thought you were going to die, because it's so bloody cold out there."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning, I woke up, comfortable and warm.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, MATE!!!!!!!!!!!" satisfied, he skipped out of the room towards the Christmas tree.
Suddenly, i felt sad.

Everyone else was going to have a great, present-filled Christmas.
Except for me.
"Everybody needs a present on Christmas," he told me.
A lump came to my throat.

I'd never had a Christmas present before.
"Open it!" With shaking fingers, i took off the wrapper.
"thank you." I whispered, tears forming in my eyes.



This kind of thing was new to me.
I'd never had someone be so kind.

Even though it was something simple it was given from the heart.
"Personally, a smile is all I want."
I smiled at him.

He took me to my house to pick up some of my clothes.
They answered the door.
"What are you doing here?" my wife snarled.
"We just need to pick up some of his things, ma'am," He said, squeezing my hand for support.

"And to wish you a Merry Christmas, of course."
My wife stepped aside.
In almost no time, I had packed everything I needed for a new life.
A better life.

I had to make a new start again, it was all a bad dream, but it might happen for real.



"Because... not everything in live is as nice as we had hoped for".
It is just a story that might be possibly happening in anyone's live, even though it is Christmas.

If you can't get along with each other this could be your future, but in every sad story there is a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.

There are some good people out there, so give the beggar some coins.
He might become your friend one day.

And get everything out of life before it is too late.
"Merry Christmas, to everyone that needs it."

The Old Sailor,

The Christmas feeling.

Dear Bloggers,

Yeah....right,

All around there are notes that they'll be back in a week or so when the calendar has rolled over.
No such luck is in my mind, where this time of year marks that we have to get it finished before it is too late again.



Sorry I don't do Christmas.
There I said it.
I don't like the holiday.


Santa's last days of Christmas

Materially, I have everything I want.
I have done Christian Christmas and figured out by reading further that this is one of the biggest lies ever told.



If you compare the Christian way to the ancient Egypt’s or Bhoeddist religions (and there are many more of them).
They are basically seen all the same, it is only a matter of how they have been forced into our lives.
Even astrologists have an explanation for it.


How to safe money during the credit crunch

I've noticed that people who say they are experiencing the cheer of the holiday are tensed, sometimes grumpy, and a lot of them are drunk.



I'd be much happier if we could do some spontaneous carol-singing and ho ho ho'ing in January or May or September.


Out Hunting, best day ever

By moving around I've lessened the effect of the holiday on my existence; it used to be, when I was younger and did not know that much about the backgrounds, that a full two weeks of the year were spent in fake joy.
Now I've got it down to just a few days.



He does not really exist was the first disappointment, after that the Christmas feeling started to crumble down.
(All parents are the same; they all lie to their kids and tell them not to.)
I have a job to do, celebrate with my family, and of course great food.



I want to lose some weight, get some colour in my face, and surprise people who don't expect much, but that has too wait until the next year.
And while I don't like Christmas, I do like the New Year's.



Instead of celebrating the birth of a "king" over 2000 years ago,I would have more with a queen.(All I want for Christmas is ...... , please fill in your own text as it is your present).
Oh I got carried away again, and yes a dirty mind is a joy forever.



So let's raise a glass in remembrance of 2008, and in expectation of 2009


Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,
Even if you do something silly in these days do it save.
Otherwise you might and up with unexpected or unwanted relationship gifts.

The Old Sailor,

What is on every man's mind

Dear Bloggers,

Every man with a woman knows the duality of relationships.
It is a situation where you get caught in as soon as you are in a steady relationship, when you’re relationship is getting in jeopardy, you go out hunting again.
Even if she's the perfect woman for you, a woman who might be stunningly attractive, most of us feel compelled to look at other women.
As men we are dealing differently with fantasies then women.
We are more visual hunters, and that is the reason why we think so much of sex.
Our brains are simply not hooked to one fantasy and yes, sex sells.



Women don't appreciate this male dilemma.
Oftentimes, they will do everything in their power to discourage it.
Irrational violent mood swings and arguments are their main weapons of choice.



The goal here is to master the art of this type of female appreciation, while keeping it a strictly covert act.
And although the absolute greatest tool for this is no doubt a good pair of sunglasses, wearing them is not always possible, for reasons of wardrobe restrictions and weather.

What follows is a list of different approaches and techniques for both sides of the male relationship perspective; the one who wants to keep his wife happy, and the other that wants to protect his own ass while taking in the wonderful sights.
Enjoy.



Women are suckers for anything that comes close to a public display of affection.
Kisses, hugs, hand holding, you name it, and they almost certainly love it.
One of the easiest ways to check out other women then is to exploit this weakness by showing affection for your partner and physically clearing your field of vision.



The womanly instinct: using a woman's nature against her.
Your woman's mistrust for other women is your best friend here.
Essentially, most women are three to four drinks away from being either lesbian curious or in a vicious catfight... such are the contradictions of the fairer sex. There is no way for us to understand this fully, as our penises don't allow this sort of information to compute.

That said, here's a way to play off this female curiosity: The negative observation Commenting on the appearance of other women is a sure-fire means of openly and safely taking in the sight of other women, if done properly, make sure that anything you say sheds a negative light on the other woman and a positive one on yours, making her feel somehow superior.

Examples:
"Wow, look at how trashy she is."
"Doesn't anyone have natural breasts anymore?"
"Man, imagine what she really looks like without all that make-up."

Comments and questions of this sort will catch your wife's attention and she'll delight in the opportunity to shoot off one of her own -- all the while with you watching.



Diversions and distractions: buying time.
Oftentimes, the best way for you to look at other women is by getting your lady to look elsewhere.
Here are a couple of easy ways to do just that.

The point: If you happen to be in a shopping area, your environment is ideally suited to maximum "bird watching."
If you're in a pinch, consider pointing to a store or product and saying, "Hey, look at that!"
This works especially well if you're lucky enough to be near something you know she will be interested in (such as jewels or shoes).
This can also work well outside of shopping areas, with literally anything in your field of vision acting as a potential smoke screen.



The quest for opinion: Asking her opinions on products is another good way to go about creating time for you to peek at others.
This can include one-upping the last idea by not only pointing but also inquiring about the objects in storefront windows, or if worse comes to worst, cars, buildings or anything else in sight.

The purse hunt Almost every woman comes with a built-in escape hatch -- her purse. By simply asking her to look for something in her bag you can create the time needed to catch a glimpse of other women.
This can include anything from asking for a piece of gum, a breath mint or even a pen. And now, on to the art of stalling...



Stalling: lulling your partner. Certain commonly engaged-in acts can be useful tools in this situation, as most are far too boring for your girlfriend to closely inspect.
Provided you wait until she looks away, these are always available to you, and can be done on a moment's notice.
The shoelace tying Raise your foot and lean your shoe on any raised surface; this keeps you from having to bend down, which would limit your sightlines.
Hopefully at this stage in the game, you can tie a knot without looking.

The dandruff removal:
Wiping dandruff from your shoulders.
Admittedly this is one of the crudest techniques around, but one that can still prove helpful in a pinch, and most especially when walking beside an attractive woman.
Simply stroke your hand across your shoulders slowly, as if wishing to rid yourself of stubborn yet imaginary dandruff.

Honesty: when lying gets tiring.
For those fed up with hiding, honesty truly is the best policy, especially if you like to fight.
That said, being in the dating doghouse doesn't always have to go hand in hand with the honest approach, and if your wife is cool with it, you might even be able to enjoy looking at other women with her.

This works best with couples in long-term relationships who are completely comfortable with each other.
In this case, your girlfriend might have no trouble with you saying, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
Of course, the only way to find out is by trying it.
Choose the right words. When going with the honest approach, make sure to steer clear of words like, "hot," "sexy" and "smoking."
These words imply a flat-out lustful sexuality, which may put your girl on the defensive.
Sticking with softer words like "beautiful," "pretty" and "cute" can help create the trust you need for honest exchanges.



WHAT IF SHE CATCHES YOU?
If she happens to catch you in the act of looking/staring at another woman, you can do one of two things: Either resort to the forementioned tactic of commenting and demeaning, or simply fess up.
The latter option might often be your best, and frankly only, option, as you can make matters worse if she sees through your lies.
If you know you can't get away with it, tell her something like, "Doesn't she look like Cameron Diaz?" or simply, "Okay, I was looking at her".
"But you have to admit she's attractive, right?"
No matter what, however, never compliment a woman in a way that can make your wife self-conscious.

Don't, for example, ever talk about breasts, butt size, legs, or weight issues, as this would bother most women.
Any attempt to cover your tracks, like telling her you heard 74% of women with breast implants are blonde will only backfire, as no doubt she'll think you not only consider her breasts are too small, but you also wish she were blonde (or blonder) too.



APPRECIATE OTHER WOMEN
Sure, this is shallow, but it's a necessary evil, something we not only like to do, but must.
Following some of these suggestions will help make your life more headache-free, and will keep your girl from catching on.

Make sure to use my tips sporadically, alternating them as often as you can. Predictability and familiarity are your enemies. In the end, some would say that if you have to use these tips, then you might be whipped.
But remember that knowledge is essential, especially if you happen to catch her applying these techniques.

I just follow these lines in life:”Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

End of the year, end of the money.

Dear Bloggers,

Are you scared for your future?
Now our economy is slowly but surely tumbling down, but why are these bankers and economists so surprised? Did it come earlier then they had expected, or don’t they have any common sence? Is it part of the show they have to put up, as the banks cannot pay us out as we have made money out of air for many years. It is the best fairytale ever made.



These questions are running through my head as I have seen the news about our ressesive economy and banks are tumbling down.

And we have all followed the delusion that was created by other human beings that were just a bit smarter then the rest.
It is time to turn our backs towards these crazy ideas, but it is hard to tell it to everybody.
Like a falling guillotine blade, stock markets around the world come crashing down, chopping off the head of the old economy.
Something old is dying so that something new can emerge.
It’s scary but in some ways it’s also a relief.




It seemed like the old economy was turning us into obsessive, compulsive, out of control creatures we politely call “consumers”.
Can anyone really say they’re surprised at what’s happening.
For years I’ve been conflicted about being a consumer.
We are caught up in a consumer society, we had to keep buying and consuming more and more stuff to keep the economy going (even if it made us sick in the process).
Maybe what we had was more like an addiction than an economy.
Are these falling stock markets a wake up call?



Call me an idealist for thinking about what we can become and the role that technology could play in helping us get there.
It’s always been an allegory about how technology can help us be who we want to be.
Tell me how you would like to be: kind, loving, considerate, well-balanced, humane… and let me run ahead on the path to do just that."

Stock markets are crashing on fears that global recession is at hand, yet in the process maybe we are waking up.
The same thing happened in the early 1900’s.
The world itself is a stock market.
It unfolds moment to moment (as it’s doing now) in bewildering and unpredictable ways and this is reported back to us in massive real-time flows of data, voice and video (like the information feeds coming out of a stock exchange).
These real-time flows show what’s happening and they show the effects of our actions as we act.
This is a mirror.



It is the world’s database, our common identity, the basis for discussing our mutual problems and our mutual opportunities.
All we need to do is look into the mirror and see who we are and see if we are becoming who we say we want to be (or not).
Something like Google Earth is just a hint of what our mirror could soon look like. Instead of the still pictures we see today, we could see moving pictures of world events from satellites and aerial drones as they happen.
The technology and the data flows already exist to make this a reality.
If we could see things happening as they happen would we learn faster?
Would we get better at going where we want to go?
Would it be easier to make the changes we need to make?



We should all look forward to the future and simply see that money is just part of the game to control us, but there is actually no need for it anymore.
I was discussing this matter with my colleague how is taking over in the night time hours. And we think in the same direction that this whole thing, moneywise, political and power is based on a truth we were made to believe, they could have kept us stupid if internet would not have become such a success. But still only some of us find out slowly, how whe have been tricked for so many years by a little elite group of manipulating people that profit from this modern slavery.



I have watched the movie zeitgeist and zeitgeist addendum and I think it is right time to start watching this and change your opinion.
Put the higlighted words in google and watch the movie (it is either subtitled or in your own language synchronised)
But let me warn you, this is not a video for persons that are being mentally unstable or afraid of changes. It is time for the big change very soon, as our old economy is falling apart.

The Old Sailor,