Sitting quietly and look at the debris of my younger years

Dear Bloggers,

Doesn't a new start sound great? When life becomes difficult, you have failed several times, you have messed up a perfect relationship, and you are bored of your job, your house, your friends, and family; a new start sounds exciting when we find ourselves stuck in the mediocrities of life. We all have a past, and for some, it may be memorable, for others it may be horrible. Whatever the past looks like the enemy majors in causing us to indulge in what was. I am afforded the opportunity to have healthy discussions with many people from the young to old, mature and immature, strong and weak but what I recognize is from the least to the greatest the most common issues among them all is letting go of the past.

 I spent or should I say "Wasted" a lot of time and energy on what was, and what could have been. But I am grateful for the present and the bright future that I have in front of me and it's there for you too. I want to encourage you to take your time through this plan and to commit to stop looking back on all the negatives in your life. Our memory is not the enemy, but the way we use our memory will determine the damage. When I look back on life, it is for only moments of seeing what has happened and what it did to me and how I pickede it up how it has brought me through. As you are on the journey with me, I want you to understand that a new start is available to you no matter where you've been or what you have done. Maybe you should clean up the debris and give yourself a brand new start. There is always a moment for new beginnings, and now I look at every disappointment, hurt and pain as an opportunity to birth something new. We do ourselves a great injustice, when we keep looking back negatively.

 
In my life I faced many challenges that already started when I was still young and I lost the first one that I really loved. All of a sudden it struck me and a voice whispered that I should go home. In my head I knew that something has badly happened to someone. The closer I got to home the more I got the feeling that something was wrong with my girlfriend. I kept seeing images of an operation theatre and she called me. This wasn't a bad dream when I came home my mum was sitting at the table and she was crying. My dad was looking sad and said: Listen Son “I've got bad news to tell you.” I reacted I think I already know that she passed away. After the funeral I had to go back to school but nothing reached my brain as I was living in a bubble. I lived as someone who was heavily sedated. After I messed up my final exams I got a letter from the government to join the army.
 

In the beginning I did not like to be there. Ok, I did my best but not my utmost. Untill the moment I met the corporal that had served in Lebanon. He told me that this was just the simple live and out there you did not know what the next day would bring. Loosing buddies and being shot at. His story was fascinating me and it inspired me to be a better soldier. At an exercise in Germany, we had to load a bridge and we ran into a few supporters of Rote Armee Fraction, or at least so they claimed. I came face to face with one of these figures. My motto was to capture or kill him. But killing someone was not allowed in peacetime. in a blow with the butt of my rifle, I disarmed my opponent and went into a handbattle with him. I decided to silence the screaming and slapping bastard. I knocked him out and tied him up and hung him on the outside of the bridge. And then I chased his companion into the hands of the other guys. When my freund woke up he screamed like a lean suckling pig. We had to take them down and they were handed over to the local authorities. I was fined for my actions when we were back at base. I didn't care as I had the feeling that I did the right thing and no one got really hurt. Jus t another scar on my face and on my reputatioin. I was selected to go to Lebanon but the government stopped the project.

I was all of sudden being transferred to an other part of the country a bit closer to home. I needed to fit in the group of soldiers and go with them on excersises building bridges man the radio and securing the place. This was part of my life for the coming months not understanding wat the plan was untill the Sergeant Major called me in his office and told me to shut the door behind me. The only thing that crossed my mind was that I had done something silly again in the last cou;ple of days as I was bored like hell. He send me on a mission to Germany to do something for a special unit. I had to dress up like a regular Jake. I got some train tickets and some cash for my expences. In Germany I had to ring a number and I would get an address to go to meet an other guy who worked for the same network. I was surprised that no one really knew what this group was doing. The operation was strange and I had to take a British guy back with me as he was captured in the Eastern part of Germany which was still splitted up at that time.. I travelled back with the British guy called Rowan and we had to behave like tourists to get back to The Netherlands. Just at he first trainstation we got off the train and I dailed the number that I got from the German guy. Rowan was picked up by a British driver and they drove of. I called the number that and told them that the mission was completed and I could go home. Later I learned that this was a mission to bring servicemen and women back home.

After my Army days I had to fit in the normal life again I missed the militairy stuff in a way. On the other hand I was happy that I had survived everything that came on my path.I stated a job as a dishwasher in a local restaurant and had ambitions to grow in this business. And I did first of all in a local bar and a small disco. I rented myself out as a waiter and bartender and I had a lot of fun doing this. During the wintertime I worked in factories to keep the bills being paid. I had a few relationships during this times but they ended not from my side. Maybe they did not really love me.
 

At certain moment I met my wife and she could live with me and all my funny ways. Of course as in every relationship there are ups and downs. I started a job as a waiter on passengership but at first it was not succcesfull things from my past brought me on my knees. I had to stop and after a period of getting my life together. When I was ready again I took a job as a bartender on a small cruiseliner the crew was great and the food was crap. Heavily drinking after the shift solved a lot of the problems. 

After a while I moved back home and got a job on the DFDS ferries on the lines between Asterdam and Newcastle and Hamburg and Harwich. During this period I tripped and fell down the stairs at home and do the crash I lost my balance and speech for several months . Do to hard work and help from family and friends I recovered almost fully and after a few years I was back on board. I did many jobs during these years on board and ended up in the Guest Service Centre. when my health deteriorated and I was forced to look for another job according to my specialist, a reorganization had to take place and my job was at stake. After my discharge, I decided to become a bus driver in public transport after about six months. It changed my outlook on life. We are enjoying our moments together in our own way. I am sitting behind my computer writing my blog and my head is traveling down memory lane.

 
Not that bad I think for a regular guy who never got his high school diploma but learned a lot on the way to a regular life with a regular job. No I am nothing special to you but for the ones I love I am their special specalist who is happy most of the time. 

And it doesn't matter if it is dark out there we have to believe that there is always the Sun to come out. Every good day is called yesterday.

We were made to move forward, and it's time to stop looking back.

The Old Sailor,

Sick and tired of the Corona virus

Dear Bloggers,

I have been away for a while again as most of my family members are still suffering from the Corona virus that has struck the planet. Well I had the feeling that we were the lucky ones that we only got the mild symptoms. On the evening of the 12^th of March Ifound my wife in bed being feverish 38,4 degrees Celcius (approx 101 degrees Fahrenheit) She had this for 2 days and some pressure on her chest. We are not that quickly surprised as she lives with Asthma for more than 20 years. The second night she had respiratory problems and her lips turned blue for a little while when I phoned to the doctors office her breath stabilized. After these two days she was still a bit short of breath and quickly tired. I called my boss and the medical advisors of the country and they told me to stay home and self isolate with our family.

The house is alway stocked up for a four weeks survival as we do only do shopping for fresh things like vegetables and fruits. Meat and Bread we have standard in the freezer. No need to panic as toilet rolls are always on stock as well. Next victims were our oldest daughter (who works in Kruidvat a health,beauty and Pharmacy shop) and me. Practicly the same things but with a sore throat and a dry cough and tremendous headache. Our youngest daughter only had a cough for a few days and was feeling a bit weak.The advises of the government were a bit shady as one office said 24 hours after the fever you could go back to work as the other office said to stay at home for 2 weeks after the fever????? My Boss (I work as a driver on commuter busses) ordered to stay at home for the 2 weeks and so I did.I went to work again and I actually felt fine although after work I was totally wasted.

And I kept going with this dry cough. After the second week I came home being short of breath and had the cold sivers. I measured 34 degrees Celcius (93,2 Fahrenheit) and called the doctor again. My daughter stayed feverish with high and low temperatures. The doctor came to our house fully covered up due to Covid-19 and checked me out. I have no fever anymore and a mild pneumonia in my left lung. My daughter is admitted to the Hospital to check on other causes than the Corona virus. Still there is no testing on Coronavirus.

Now in the weekend on the 17^th of April my wife is having a massive asthma attack and gasps for help as she turns blue in the face the paramedics arrive and rush her of to the hospital. With hardly any chance to say goodbye to her. There is no way to visit or join a patient who is a suspected case of Covid-19. Late in the evening the Hospital calls that she is pretty much stabilized and I can come and collect her. As I am coughing I am not allowed inside and the nurse is bringing her in a wheelchair to our car.

Well let me explain a bit of this silly symptom called a dry cough it is a bit like the heavy smokers among us will recognise. That hurling sound that you make and goes away with first smoke. This is all explained by a medical doctor as this one of the symptoms of Covid-19.

A dry cough is a cough where no phlegm or mucus is produced (known as non-productive). A dry cough is irritating and usually associated with a tickly throat. Dry coughs are often caused by viral illnesses such as colds and flu, but they can also be caused by allergies or throat irritants.
Specific treatment for a dry cough will depend on the cause of the cough.
How long does a cough normally last?
Coughs associated with a cold or the flu tend to last a week or 2, most clearing up within about 3 weeks. A post-viral cough may persist for several (up to about 8) weeks after a viral illness, while some coughs persist for longer and are usually a sign of an underlying problem.
In adults and children, a cough is described as acute (short term) if you have been coughing for up to 2 weeks. In adults, a cough that lasts for more than 8 weeks is described as a chronic (ongoing) persistent cough. In children, a cough that lasts 2 to 4 weeks is called a prolonged acute cough. A cough that lasts more than 4 weeks is considered to be a chronic cough.

Causes of dry cough

A dry cough is often the result of:

• a viral illness, such as a cold or influenza (the flu), or Covid-19 the disease caused by SARS-CoV-2 – the novel coronavirus; or
• a post-viral, or post-infective, cough (cough that persists for weeks after a viral illness).
  

However, a dry cough may be a result of other problems, such as:

• Asthma
• smoking;
• Hay fever due to inhaling substances you are allergic to, such as pollen, dust or pet dander;
• certain types of lung disease known as interstitial lung disease; or
• a side effect from a medicine (for example, cough is a possible side effect of most ACE inhibitors – often prescribed for high blood pressure).
  

Other, less common, causes of a dry cough include like heart failure and lung cancer
A dry cough can be aggravated by:

• breathing cold, dry air;
• air pollution;
• inhaled irritants such as dust or smoke;
• exposure to tobacco smoke;
• excessive use of your voice; or
• a change in temperature.
  

Complications

Can I hurt myself coughing?

When a cough is severe, pulled chest muscles and even fractured ribs are a possible complication.

Diagnosis and tests

Your doctor will ask about your cough and any other symptoms you may have, and perform a physical examination. Depending on your age, history and examination, your doctor may order tests such as:

• a chest X-ray;
• a throat swab (sample of secretions from the back of your throat which can be tested for infections);

Dry coughs are often related to a viral illness and in most cases special tests are not needed.

When should you seek medical advice about a dry cough?

You should you seek medical advice if:

• you start to cough up blood or copious amounts of mucus (phlegm);
• you are short of breath or wheezy;
• the cough is mainly at night;
• you have associated chest pain;
• you have a fever;
• you are a cigarette smoker;
• you have a hoarse voice;
• the cough is associated with vomiting or a choking sensation;
• you have other symptoms such as an ongoing headache, sore ears or a rash;
• you have recently lost weight or have general muscle aches;
• the cough is in an infant aged 6 months or younger;
• the cough has lasted longer than 10 days, with little or no improvement; or
• you have high blood pressure, a heart complaint, respiratory illness (such as asthma), gastrointestinal problems or are taking other medicines.
  

Treatments for dry cough

Dry coughs that are caused by a viral infection such as a cold usually get better on their own within a week or two. Self-help measures can help make you feel better in the meantime, and cough medicines may provide some short-term relief to adults with a dry cough.
Other treatments for dry cough will depend on the cause.

Self-help for dry cough

There are some simple things you can do to provide relief from a dry cough.
Honey can help treat a dry cough by coating and soothing the back of the throat (pharynx), and relieving the irritation that triggers a dry cough. Try drinking warm water containing honey and lemon, or taking one to 2 teaspoons of honey 30 minutes before bedtime. Note that honey should not be given to children younger than 12 months of age due to the risk of infant botulism (a rare bacterial infection).
Drinking plenty of liquids can help, and warm broths or teas may help soothe your throat.
Gargling salt water (in older children and adults) may also help with a dry cough associated with a cold and sore throat.

Dry cough can be a side effect of some medicines such as ACE inhibitors and beta blockers (used to treat high blood pressure and heart problems). Your doctor may recommend stopping any medicines that could be causing your cough and replacing them with other suitable medicines for your particular condition. Talk to your doctor about alternative medicines if you are having this problem.
Repeated coughing from any cause can irritate and inflame the larynx (voice box) and upper airways. So the coughing itself makes your airways more sensitive, leading to more coughing. Strategies that can help you reduce the urge to cough and help stop this type of self-perpetuating cough include:

• taking a sip of water with a hard swallow when you feel like coughing or clearing your throat; and
• avoiding any triggers that you know tend to aggravate your cough, such as overuse of your voice, cigarette smoke, or excessively cold, dry air such as from air conditioning.
  
  
  
  
  

Still I think that I have only mild symptoms and they are though and yes the ones that are

Hospitalised are in a severe condition being on oxygen is scary. The ones that are ending up on ventilators are the ones to pray for as many of them will not make it back to their loved ones and that is the worst thing in live that can happen to you. Stay as much as you possibly can away from other people. When it hits you it might destroy you and everyone you love. This virus will get the biggest guys one there knees it even kills very healthy people.

Stay safe and stay healthy.

The Old Sailor,