The preconceived opinion of the society

Dear Bloggers,

Slowly the autumn begins to enter and when I bring the children to school in the morning the leaves swirl around me. The first trees begin to bare all. I stroll on the pavement on speed dead easy (because of morning stiffness) trough this picturesque image and I am drifting away deep in thought. Until my youngest daughter suddenly pulls my arm and points her finger towards a toadstool. She also asked whether gnomes lived in there?

Suddenly I'm back in the real world and I tell her: “Well I think not, because I see no door or a chimney.” Meaningful is her gaze, her eyes he look at me intently. I give her the explanation that not in every toadstool lives a gnome. Meanwhile my brains are running at full strength. I have called the images in my head that this toadstool might be for sale and has a tiny sign in the garden. I laugh about myself and we continue our trip towards the school.

It drizzles outside and inside it is comfortable and warm and you would really like to stay here. (And while I hated school in my younger years.) But yes, staying is not an option. One of the students gives a swing to the copper bell indicating that the lessons start in about five minutes,. (So parents have to bugger off.) When I walk out of the door, I feel in my back a few eyes stinging and I think I can guess what these ladies will have as their next issue. “ Yes, the middle-aged unemployed seaman.” Yet I am not the one to be fooled, I greet them with a friendly look and walk quietly back towards our home.

I walk back turned into myself and start to giggle a bit and I think are there goblins without work? You normally see these little males usually armed with garden tools. It is not that they are the most active figures as I've never seen one of them move. Some goblins are fishing but this picture gives me even more to think. In my experience this is a sport for men who do not have sex. Because why else would you get up so early in the weekend to get out of a warm bed. And then sitting under a big umbrella staring at the extension of your genitals.

Yet it is easier to understand with goblins because you did not see many goblin females. Suddenly I realize something, this would be something not right? Are women oppressed in this culture? Tomorrow it will be in the headlines of newspaper de Telegraaf : “Dwarf men not affraid to use domestic violence.” Meanwhile, I arrived back home and I open the door, I make some coffee and listen to the radio. I make some telephoneconversations to ensure that at the end of the month again we will receive some money again.
When I pick up the kids from school it is around noon, I have decided to buy a winter coat for the little ladies. It is sunny autumn weather when we go on the bike towards the shops out there. Once arrived in the store with my princesses unfolds the grand celebration of the winter coats fitting.

We have a lot of fun and nothing is disturbing us. I am also suspiciously monitored by the saleswoman. A mother with children has just entered the store and she looks at me with an indignant glance at my oldest daughter when I say: “You have to choose a coat that is good and that you also should love to wear it because it is your coat.” I feel like a pioneer as seen in the sixties who fought for the rights of women. I fully enjoy this and help my youngest daughter pick out a total of seven new gowns. Walking in a hump of coats we move towards fitting room and again I get the same pair of Argus eyes that followed me earlier this afternoon. The saleslady asks whether we really need no help and i hear in her voice, that I am condemned to be the single father who knows all but has no control. As always I reply:” No thank you we are doing fine” and now I walk with mixed feelings through the store.

At one side I'm flattered and on the other hand, I feel hurt. After an hour we leave the shop with two brand new winter coats. As we are heading home on our bikes. suddenly I ask myself this question: What will my wife think of this? The weather is beautiful but because daylight starts to fade early, it cools down very quickly. My thoughts wander off again and I muse over past years. The years that I was a child. After playing outside you came home and often you would smell something nice that you could eat. Now I have to play that role. As it is already quite late, I choose to eat something easy.During diner those double feelings are there again and I really doubt myself. Actually now I recognize myself in the feelings that my wife must have had for years. She phoned me at work to ask what color the sun screen should have for example, she should buy. The children may stay up until mum comes home and of course to show the new coat. After dinner, we are still having some fun at the table and a little chit chat. When we hear the frontdoor open we are waiting anxiously. We have just hung up the new coats as they hung there for ever. My spouse comes in with one of the jackets and asks:” Who is this?” My oldest daughter also resolutely answers: “That is mine and I have selected it myself.” I am relieved that no vindictive remark follows a remark about the color or the scope: “Why was I not asked to go with you?” So I confirm to myself that I can do these things too. Yeah, Well I live in a "girls home" and the shopping I cannot escape from (not that I really mind.) I start to think again: Am I so different than all those other men? Do I have maybe one or more female gene, or are there are more of these dads out there?

At one side I enjoy my success and on the other hand, I doubt whether all this is normal. As the evening has fallen I sit with my spouse on the couch and then I doubt again. I'm too soft to determine what is on TV. My wife is usually has the remote and I must say I'm not really a typical male if it comes to preference for things such as football and Formula 1 racing. After all those years these things can not really fascinate me. Again I think: “Am I so different?” I just enjoy my time and I spend it with my children. The happy faces are magic to me when we do something fun again. Laughing I remember this afternoon with my girls. My youngest daughter took all seven coats that we had picked up and she said that she wanted them all to take home.

My answer was:”If that bold guy from the postcode lottery is coming along you can take all seven “ Bewildered the mother with children looks at me, after this remark she leaves towards the counter to checkout. I believe they fled the store because she was feeling uncomfortable. And perhaps because she also wants a man like this, and also one that could try things like this with his kids! Ok, I'm not a "superman" but then I do not play soccer on my free Saturday and on Sunday I am not going to fish. Once again I feel a bit double.

On one hand I am different and on the other hand, I enjoy all the time that I can spend with my “girls.” Luckely I am not so attached to the rest of the herd and pleased with myself. I am aware that the danger constantly lurks in me but I am not affected at this the point.
Enjoy of all the moments you get, because before you know they are gone.

The Old Sailor,


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