If your dreams get crazy

Dear Blogger,

As the weather is wet and moisty, my body is not my friend as everything is being sore again. I am using since a long time my painkillers again. I am not much of a dreamer but last night I woke up and had this weird dream about working a dull office job. As I am still unemployed and they give me advise to do an office job and I am really scared to end up in a job that would kill the happines in me. To give you an impression of what was happening in my dream, I wrote the following story. It is not that I do not respect people that work in offices or call centres but it scares the crap out of me if I needed to stay all day in between of these four walls, time for the story so sit back and relax.

I'm all at sea ", if only for a day


The city provides a sad sight. The rain drizzles down. People with umbrellas raised high above their heads, they can walk as fast as they can to get into their heated homes or buildings. The facades give a gray, sad impression in this miserable rain. The busy traffic, what the weather does not decrease roars past me. The wheels of the cars splash through the rain puddles. Deeply wrapped in my long raincoat I walk through the streets. It is a new day and a new job.

I do not look forward to do this job. Slowly I slander towards the building. Too soon, against my will, I stand before the cold gray office building. Workatmosphere immediately faces you when you get inside. It feels like a cold shower above my head is turned on. I walk into the large concrete staircase, which brings me to my department. My new boss of me looks at his watch. For the first time in my life I am late on the job. Then he walks away disapprovingly. I sigh and put my sodden raincoat to dry on the heater. With a thud I sit down in my black office chair that protested against my weight. I press the button of the computer "power" on it. The screen I enter with a blow because otherwise it does not work.

I grab from my pen tray one of my gnawed pencils. I slander, armed with pencil and sharpener to the bin. When I arrive at the bin I am grinding a nice sharp point on my pencil. Then I walk back over the dusty, especially gray office carpet in my office. I lean back in my big chair. My colleagues are busy with their work. Yes, I work at a large call center. The men and women here are busy with some stencils to boost up their sales. You hear the tapping of keyboards. Somewhere in the distance a cell phone goes off. Nervously they talk to each other because using a mobile device is punishable by dismissal. I look gloomily out of the window.

I see another large gray officebuilding. There will be almost the same things going on as here at least that is what I think. Tapping of keyboards. Ringing telephones. Busy chattering people. Rustling papers. No, I have nothing to complain I have a beautiful view here. But wherever you look, everywhere you see the same gray office buildings. With my mouse I move the white arrow on the screen, double click. My mails are opened. Big huge letters let me know that I have five unread messages in my inbox. I click bored on one of the mails. My eyes fly over the lines. 'What's wrong with you''' asks a voice I tear my eyes from the screen, and I look blurred at my colleague. Abruptly I pull up my shoulders. ,, Let's go and have a break! The customer must be happy at the end of the day but we as call agents need occasionally a bite to eat.''

Oh, yes that's right, I should now take better care of myself.” Duty calls again and yes I should be happy with this job because there is not much work in this area. I sigh and rise to start again at my new job for the coming hours. I frog on the concrete stairs and I hang my wet raincoat back on the heating. Get inside and go hunting for new customers. After one day of answering calls from both nice and happy customers and badly mannered persons and completely numb from all the new things that I need to learn.

I walk with appropriate step down the concrete stairs. The smell of exhaust fumes hits my nostrils and the rain falls relentlessly. Slowly I walk to the bus stop, and it had it's best time. The windows were smashed, and the bench is stained with chewing gum and graffiti. On the roof is sitting a set of thick gray citypigeons nestled deep into their warm plumage. The bus is coming and stops at the shabby bus stop. I step into the bus. Despite the weather it is actually very quiet in the bus. I sit down in the nearest chair. I still think to myself why I'm not the one driving. The heater is on and the temperature is comfortable.

A radio plays softly the following melody. I'm all at sea. Where no one can bother me. Forgot my roots. If only for a day. Just me and my thoughts. Sailing far away. I listen to the lyrics of the song. In my head I translate it. I am in the middle of the sea Where no one troubles me and I forget about my heritage, If only for one day. Just me and my thoughts sailing far away there. Yeah, that was my life and I also occasionally dream away from the worries of daily life. It seems that time never stands still, and now the creeping hands of the clock move so slowly. Weird. Actually, we have much more to enjoy life and should not be so buried in our work.

The whole bus ride are my thoughts on it. Is that why I am never bored and that I live mostly on the bright side. I also look at work as a past time for many, as an escape from the loneliness and a number of other social contacts. It's such a shame that you need to spend so much of your free time on it. I am happier with a half time job then a full-time job although it is financially no glory. Anyway I am again building up my life though I have no illusions that I will be happy in an office job. But for the welfare authority, I do my best and I hope for a better future as a bus driver.

The Old Sailor,