The Christmas Carol Phone call

Dear Bloggers,


Unfortunately I am getting unemployed again and I really start to think that it is a fetish to bosses to lay off staff just before or during Christmas. As this is not the first time that it happens and yes I can handle it, but some of my fellow drivers can’t. One of them ran straight up to the office and told them that he would leave straight away, another driver said that he will leave just before Christmas. Hmmm.......these are hard times to keep a job, as soon as the temps office called alarmbells started ringing and the applying machine was started up again. As Scrooge was on the television I twisted this into a hard feelings Christmas Story. Sit down by the fireplace and read and weep.

In a phone call from the temps office that I work for on Tuesday, the Christmas Spirit of the Past from the company had announced the plans to lay me off by the first of Januari. F**cking great but I am the choosen one together with the Ghost of Christmas Present along with his entire Department of Concurrent Events. This restructuring will result in the reduction of the busdrivers the ones that made some mistakes are chucked out.

Despite being able to provide instantaneous hi-def visualizations of events happening simultaneously anywhere around the world, the Ghost of Christmas Present’s capabilities have been largely superseded by the rise of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, making his offerings redundant and too expensive to maintain.

Spirit reminded he will still retain the services of the Ghosts of Christmas Future and Past, along with their entire staffs. He announced that that the remaining departments will continue to provide a valuable function in the Christmas Spirit’s operations by continuing to leverage the blissful memories of Christmases of long ago as well as demonstrate the pain and despair that will occur if the target doesn’t reform his ways.

Average Boss
“Nostalgia and dread have always been what ends up redeeming the scrooges anyway,” The temps office Spirit said on the call.

These organizational changes were necessary to reduce costs and recover from three straight holiday seasons of stagnant growth in Spirit’s mission to restore hope to humanity and bring together estranged family members.

The Ghost of Christmas Present never saw the layoffs coming.

The Christmas Spirit expects to reduce operating expenses by a unknown percentage and is confident he will still be able to meet his business objectives of turning grouches, grinches and scrooges into tolerable timetable for the traveling by bus human beings.

A look into the future

 

The life-like imagery and special effects produced by the three Ghosts have always looked impressive but was expensive, forcing Spirit to do a full cost benefits analysis for each department. Unfortunately for the Ghost of Christmas Present, Spirit’s review made the outcome all too clear.

The Christmas Spirit’s analysis confirmed his suspicions that the Ghost of Christmas Present was too expensive to keep on the payroll and was not nearly as effective as Past and Future in making holiday grouches reconsider their anti-social ways.

“With mixed emotions, we regret to announce that the Ghost of Christmas Present has to be seeking for opportunities outside the company,” said Spirit. “He built a strong foundation in allowing us to see how our target accounts were ruining the lives of their family or demoralizing their employees.”

Spirit says that if his account managers need to know what was going on in some house across town,”now, we can just check their Facebook status updates or read their tweets.”

The Spirit of Christmas says it simply does not make sense to carry the expense of a six-figure executive salary when these capabilities can be provided at little to no cost. He then demonstrated on the webcast what social network applications can do by revealing a Facebook post about one of his targeted accounts.







  

” Spirit said. “It really is a beautiful thing.”

Additionally, a Facebook status update can reveal how holiday-impaired grouches can negatively affect the quality of life of their employees during the Christmas season. He showed this screenshot as evidence.

Spirit said that prior to the announcement, the Ghosts had visited him in his bedroom, each over the course of three nights to plead their case.

“The Ghost of Christmas Present really disappointed me and didn’t show me very much,” Spirit said. “All I saw were other people sleeping. Although I now have an interesting story about our director to tell at this year’s holiday party.”

He could have become a good man

 Spirit revealed that the Ghost of Christmas Past showed him as a young upstart corporate director and how much joy he experienced in restoring hope and faith in Christmas, saying “I was reminded of how much I love what we do, how we make a difference in people’s lives, and how hot that one girl from accounting was.”

“Christmas Future had a great presentation,” Spirit explained to the hotshots and the blokes from the provence of Friesland. “Once he showed me that the decision to drop Christmas Present and make some changes in our tax liabilities and investing in new systems will give us a double digit growth over the next five years,. . .well that sealed it.”

The Ghost of Christmas Present was understandably distraught with the news that his lifelong career had recently come to an end, saying “I only wish I had seen this coming.”

What happened to the Merry days of Christmas

Because his only skill is quickly being replaced by another driver after the first of Januari, the Ghost of Christmas Present is worried about what will come next, especially considering that his former colleague Christmas Future kept giving him knowing glances of pity as he left the building.

When reached for comment, the Ghost of Christmas Present still maintained that his services are invaluable.

“You won’t get that on a ‘what are you doing now’ status update,” Present said.

Have a better Christmas than me.

The Old Sailor,



How to be yourself.......here are some timeless tips

Dear Bloggers,

Today I’d like to share a few of my favorite timeless tips for improving your social life. As we are all thinking that facebook, twitter and hyves are the answer of having success in life. Wrong answer the main key in this network is you as a person, not a wannabee you.


Here are six of them.

1. Be aware of building walls.

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”

The ego wants to divide your world. It wants to create barriers, separation and loves to play the comparison game. The game where people are different compared to you, the game where you are better than someone and worse than someone else. All of that creates fear. And so we build walls. But putting up walls tends to in the end hurt you more than protect you.

So how can you start building bridges instead? One way is to choose to be curious about people. Curiosity is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your fear.

Another way is to start to see yourself in other people. To get that there is no real separation between you and other people.

That may sound vague. So one practical suggestion and thought you may want to try for a day is that everyone you meet is your friend.

Another thing you can try is to see what parts of yourself you can see in someone you meet. Try it out and see what you find.

2. Your relationships are in your mind.

“As you think so shall you be! Since you cannot physically experience another person, you can only experience them in your mind. Conclusion: All of the other people in your life are simply thoughts in your mind. Not physical beings to you, but thoughts. Your relationships are all in how you think about the other people of your life. Your experience of all those people is only in your mind. Your feelings about your lovers come from your thoughts. For example, they may in fact behave in ways that you find offensive. Their actions are theirs, you cannot own them, you cannot be them, you can only process them in your mind.”

“It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting.”



How you choose to interpret people and your relationships makes a huge difference. So much of our relationships may be perceived to happen out there somewhere.

But as mentioned in tip #1 in this article, your underlying frame of mind – do you build bridges or walls? – will determine much about your interactions both new people and people you know.

So you really have to go inside. You have to realize that your interpretations from the past are interpretations. Not reality. You have to take a look at your assumptions and expectations and thought habits. Find patterns that may be hurting you (and others). This isn’t easy. Or always pleasant. You may discover that you have had some negative underlying habits of thought for many years.

But to change you have to do it. Instead of just keep looking at yourself as some sort of unmoving and objective observer of the world and reality. A change in you could – over time – change your whole world.

3. Avoid being boring.

“The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out.”



Don’t prattle on about your new car for 10 minutes oblivious to your surroundings. Always be prepared to drop a subject when you start to bore people. Or when everyone is getting bored and the topic is starting to run out of steam.

One good way to have something interesting to say is simply to lead an interesting life. And to focus on the positive stuff. Don’t start to whine about your boss or your job, people don’t want to hear that. Instead, talk about your last trip somewhere, some funny anecdote that happened while you were buying clothes, your plans for the summer or something fun or exciting.

4. Focus outward, not inward.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”



A lot of people use the second, far less effective way. It is appealing because it’s about instant gratification and about ME, ME, ME! The first way – to become interested in people – perhaps works better because it makes you a pleasant exception and because the law of reciprocity is strong in people. As you treat people, they will treat you. Be interested in them and they will be interested in you.

5. Don’t get stuck in the questions.

“I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.”

If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute. One alternative is to mix questions with statements. Just say what band you are really into instead of asking what band they are into. Or say what you think about local sports team’s chances of winning the next game. Or, while using common sense, just what you are thinking about what is happening around you right now.

And then the conversation can flow on from there.

So open up and say what you think, share how you feel. And if someone shares an experience, open up too and share one of your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding and answer with short sentences. If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like you to invest too.

And like in so many areas in life, you can’t always wait for the other party to make the first move. When needed, be proactive and be the first one to open up and invest in the conversation.

6. Genuineness is awesome.

“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.”

I think that one of the most important things in a relationship of any kind is to be genuine. Few things are as powerful as genuine communication and letting the genuine you shine through. Without incongruence, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness.

It’s you to 100%.

It’s you with not only your words but you with your voice tonality and body language – which some say is over 90% of communication – on the same wavelength as your words. It’s you coming through on all channels of communication.

Being your geunine self – the one where you build bridges and are open and giving – will give you better results and more satisfaction in your day to day life because you are in alignment with yourself. And because people really like genuineness.

The Old Sailor,

Happy Fatfree Holidays for all

Dear Bloggers,


I am not the worlds example of being slim. And I do not feel the need to be that at all. Only trouble is that I have trouble to resist stuff that is high on the wrong kinds of calories and fat, and yes I love the good tradition of dining together during the holidays. Any other part of the holiday season is not bathering me at all. Normally I have been working nearly every Christmas or New Years.

We are heading in to the party season now, and that can spell disaster for many people trying to watch their weight and stay healthy. Christmas is always going to be a time when we gain a few extra pounds due to the foods that we eat which are both are richer and more readily available than throughout the rest of the year.

Certainly it is very important to let your hair down now and again and to enjoy the odd treat and luxury, but what can you do if you want to hold on to your figure over the coming weeks. Follow my tips to ensure you enjoy your Christmas parties without looking like a stuffed turkey at the end of it all.

Don't be afraid to say no. It isn't unusual to get invites to many parties, meals or social events during December and the New Year. Trying to keep everybody happy will only lead to massive excesses and probable weight gain. Be selective, try to keep the nights out evenly spaced over the weeks, instead of all back to back. (Being drunk on a daily base is a regular life but not that healthy, I figured this out the hard way by trying it.)

'You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink'. You may have a busy social calendar over the next few weeks, but that doesn't mean you have to push the excesses to the limit. If it's a meal out, you could limit yourself to a main and a starter. If you have a few drinking nights out lined up, then aim to reduce the amount of alcohol you consume. Try something non alcoholic in between drinks (or even better still a glass of water), this way you could halve the amount of alcohol you have over the evening.

Choose the healthier options. For example as a starter melon balls or anything else based on fruit or veggies and soups are generally quite good choices. For mains try chicken and fish dishes without sauces or gravies. (if your not allergic to seafood like me.) Finally deserts are usually the hardest to get right. Basically anything that contains cream, pastries and sauces is going to be high in calories and saturated fat, so perhaps a better option would be to share one between two or totally skip them.

Burn away the excesses. Whatever calories you put in to your body will either be stored as fat or burned off to fuel movement. So my final tip is simply to be more active. Walk to and from the night out, if it's safe to do so. Dance as much as possible if that's an option and lastly try to avoid sitting down all night, instead try pottering around. Unless you have health issues of course that might get you into trouble. I do my excercises with the Nintendo Wii together with my kids we have loads of fun. So there we have 2 good things in one pleasurable moment.

Happy Holidays to you all

Christmas only comes once a year and if you are in good health and physical shape then a couple of weeks of excess probably won't do you any harm. If however you are carrying a little too much weight already (like myself) and the nearest thing you get to regular exercise is walking to and from the car then a month of over indulgences could just push your health over the edge. So enjoy yourself, but just don't forget that your health can and will suffer if you over consume for a prolonged period of time. I know that it is not easy in the beginning but believe me. I’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Happy Holidays to you all.

The Old Sailor,