Making contact is that simple, if you know how.

Dear Bloggers,

How easily to do you connect with other people?
Some people are just able to connect with others within just a few seconds of meeting them for the first time, whilst for other people it’s a real challenge when meeting new people.

We all need people to make our life a more joyous one and connecting with people is one of the most inspiring, fulfilling and valuable actions we can do.
Yet we often miss out on great opportunities to create friendships. At the same time, it is actually relatively simple to create a good connection and become more likeable when you meet new people.

There is no rocket science in all of these things.First of all you havr to believe in You and the rest will come. How to change yourself in 8 steps.


Step 1 – Become aware of your relationships
Step 2 – Love yourself first, before loving anyone else
Step 3 – Love yourself whitout becoming full of yourself
Step 4 – Love is all that matters
Step 5 – Create energising Relationships
Step 6 – Declutter your friends it is good for you and them
Step 7 – Stop bending for other people!
Step 8 – Be special to find someone special


Today we’ll look at some simple steps to come across better to other people when you first meet them.
The steps are indeed simple – yet we forget and often end up over analysing.
You simply have to learn and apply these 10 key secrets for becoming likeable to other people when you first meet them:

1. Smile

The best thing you can do when you meet someone for the first time is simply smile! This is the number one secret for getting people to like you instantly – and it is free:-)
Try this time next you are in a crowd of strangers. Just smile gently and see what reaction you get back.

2. Remember their Name

When you first meet someone, ask them their name and then be sure to remember it.
If their name is unusual ask them how it should be correctly pronounced and even ask where it is from.
Be sure to address them by their name early on in the conversation – that will also help you remember it.
To most people, the sound of their own name is the most beautiful sound in the world!
If it helps, write their name down if they haven’t given you their business or personal card.

3. Look People in the Eye

In any conversation, look at the person you are talking to and maintain eye contact as appropriate. This will also help you follow what they are saying.
Clearly you don’t want to spook them out by fixedly staring into their eyes either!
If you can’t get used to the idea of looking people in the eye, then practice looking into your own eyes in front of a mirror. This can be quite a confrontational exercise for some people but it will do wonders for your own self-acceptance.

4. Listen Completely

The greatest gift you can give a person is your undivided attention. Practise your listening skills by focusing completely on that person and being present.
Give them your 100% attention.
Stop your mind from wandering and focus on what they are saying. Make the other person feel important. Your undivided attention tells the other person that you genuinely value them.
Be genuinely interested in other people.
The emphasis here is on being interested rather than ‘interesting’. Be genuine about this and do not fake it. Focus on what they have to say rather than harping on about yourself and your own grandness!
Just remember the old saying – we all have two ears and one mouth – use them accordingly.
The key is to be completely present for the other person and to truly listen with your heart.

Ultimately, it all comes down again to truly listening to what people say – and also don’t say.
And of course, do actually contribute to the conversation! Listening properly doesn’t mean you don’t add any value to the conversation. Make sure your verbal communication is an equal and two way process.

5. Build Empathy and Rapport

As you listen, build empathy and rapport with your new friend.
Focus not on just the words but the nuances of what they are saying. For example, do they sound excited or bored when they talk about their job?
You will also pick up clues and remember what to talk about later in your conversation – they will be impressed with what you have remembered.
By truly empathising with the other person, you will get to understand better their point of view. And people just adore those who are interested in their point of view!

6. Look for Opportunities of Helping Them

As you get to know someone better, look for ways of helping and supporting them perhaps by referring them to a friend who could be interested in their service.
Look for ways of connecting new friends with any existing like minded friends. If you have promised to do something for them, make sure you do so promptly.
You will soon create a reputation as someone who is highly connected, someone who can be trusted and someone who delivers!
One trick I use is to write down in my contacts database, the details of any new person I meet plus a couple of personal details such as what they do and their passions.
At the same time, remember that you are “helping” them to help themselves!
Remember Stop bending for other people!

7. Don’t Give Advice!

Sometime during a conversation with a new friend, you may be tempted to simply butt in and offer a solution.
However before you do so, always seek permission before you offer your input as people don’t like to be seen to be helpless.
Also, your advice should be subtly delivered rather than telling them bluntly what they should do.
Of course as your friendship develops you can be more forthcoming with your words of wisdom – but again usually with their permission.
Needless to say, it is important to be respectful of other people’s feelings and opinions. Be tactful as appropriate to the situation.
At the same time, though some people may seek out your advice they just don’t want to change – in that case, let them be and don’t make it your issue.
I guess it all comes down to the type of situation. If you feel your advice will add value to the exchange then offer it.
Look back in your own life and remember a situation when someone has barged in and told you what to do! How did you feel internally about that?

8. Be Positive

Everyone likes to be around someone who is positive, energetic and bubbly, and not someone who is a merchant of doom and gloom.
As I heard someone say once – some people light up the room when they enter it, others light it up when they leave! Which one would you rather be?
At a networking or social event wouldn’t you rather speak to the happy confident looking person or the one who looks miserable?!
Life is too short to go around with a miserable face.
So never dump your stuff on others.
Also, learn to only say good things about others – never gossip about others as it will inevitably come back to you, and affect your friendships. Assume that anyone you are talking about can hear what you are saying about them. And actually at a subconscious level they are.
If people know you as a positive person who doesn’t get involved in gossiping, they will know you can be trusted and you will soon have a reputation as someone with integrity.
Of course we should be our authentic self at all times. And it that means we are feeling down and not so positive, then so be it. I would then suggest that that is not the best time for you to be out there meeting new people!

9. Be Friendly and Open

It goes without saying that you must be friendly and open to make new friends! Yet so often people go through life closed and not open to new opportunities and friendships.
Knowing that everyone around you is doing the best they can, you can let down your own guard and become more open and even vulnerable.
Show your appreciation and gratitude in every way you can. Say your thanks genuinely and wholeheartedly to your new friends and especially to all those strangers who do so much to make your life convenient and easy, such as shop assistants, the postman and the cleaning lady.
Your new friends will gauge you on how well you treat strangers – so make it a life long habit to be always pleasant and friendly to all strangers who cross your path.

10. Be Authentic and a Person of Integrity

Do you go through life trying to impress others with your status, fame and achievements? If that is the case, then know that doing so rarely makes people genuinely like you.
From today onwards, give up trying to impress others and especially so when you meet new people. Instead of blowing your own trumpet too loudly, just be authentic.
Who you are will shine through more brightly than any number of accolades or worldly ornaments. Just remember what Ghandi achieved with his simple garb!
Who you are being stands out more brightly and loudly than anything you do or any words you say ever can.
It is important to be your word and be responsible. You can be the most interesting person in the world, the most compassionate and the funniest one but if you are not a person of integrity, then nobody will take you seriously.
By being responsible you show that you care about other people and that you value their time and interests. People will like you once they find out that they can rely on you and that you are responsible for every word you say.
Do what you say you will do – and be your word.

Final Words

People will come and go from your life, but their impact and their essence remains with you forever.
It is therefore up to you what you make of their presence in your life – and by applying these 10 secrets of becoming likeable, you will never again be short of true friends:-)
More than anything, recognise that we are all here only for a short time, so let’s use this time to the max and have a great time while we are here!
What are your secrets for becoming likeable?
Please do share your own secrets below in the comments.

Just try this the next time:
The next time today or tomorrow you are in conversation with someone, reflect on just how much listening you are actually doing. Note how your mind is sometimes racing away with your own thoughts.
Slow down your mind and focus more intently on the other person and what they are saying. Notice how your connection becomes deeper straightaway.
And then share below how you found this experience.

 The Old Sailor,

Hit by nature in a bad way

Dear Bloggers,

It was a hot summer evening with dark thunderclouds hanging over the fields and my wife and kids looked happy when I finally showed up after work. I had to work the late shift and my youngest was sound asleep when out of nothing a thunderstorm came around and my oldest was sitting in front of the kitchen window watching raindrops plink the puddles when she heard a rumble outside followed by a loud bang. My youngest daughter was downstairs in a millisecond. From that moment the wind speeded up to hurricane strength and wiped out everything on its way.

 Things I met on my way

During the ride I phoned home that I could see this enormous thunderstorm coming at me and she told me that it just went over them and it was bad. As I drove closer towards my home the rain pounded on my windshield and the wipers had a hard job to do. The rain caused a kind of ground mist and made it hard to find the road and some trees had fallen over the road. A few kilometers from home all the trees had fallen over on houses and cars and also the phone connection failed to work. I got pretty worried when I saw all the blue flashing lights coming towards me. I took some effort to get around the fallen trees. 

All of a sudden there was a tree in the way

They all looked very happy when I walked in the front door. My wife knew right away it was me, though she could never say how. There were always cars idling in the street at night, boyfriends of neighborhood girls giving it one last shot, suburban kids after a night out in town. The storm crushed up the TV signal too much and the wind hauled too loud and made the windows tremble, the flashes kept them up at night.

 The world turned all off a sudden pitch black

the other campsite the day after

 

When the wind had eased down after half an hour, I talked to some of the neighbors and found out that on a campsite about 750 meters away that a little child was stuck in mobile home as a tree fell on top of the wagon. The child just came that day to have a bit of a holiday with her grandparents. The fire brigade had too saw themselves away towards the campsite to get the ambulance services down there. Some of the locals went over there with chainsaws and big tractor trying to lift up the tree and to rescue this child.    

They did what they could for her, although they could not reach her. She lost life before the ambulance was there, very sad.

horror on the campsite

 

But she was too badly injured that before they could get her out she had passed away. A sad story that shook up our little village as in my neighborhood there are a lot of young families with kids. We understand very well that this 7 year old girl has been fighting for her life but did not make it. An unbearable trauma for everyone that was involved.

We live in the houses behind the trees in the distance

This tree snapped like a match

 

The next morning when we had breakfast, I scrambled some eggs and bacon done crisp the way I knew they liked it. I put everything on the table made the girls some tea and for myself plenty of strong coffee. Sometimes we’d sing together, doo wop harmonies from when they were little girls or one of a half dozen Christmas songs, a morning serenade that would carry me through the whole day. Then we would leave in a swirl of laughter and going to a fun park as we had planned, pulling away with horns honking, long after the other dads had gone to work. When we left, just the song on the radio from Pearl Jam “Just Breathe” could bring me to tears.

 “All of this happened a bit more than a week ago” During our walks in the area we realize that we have been very lucky. As another campsite a few kilometers away was hit as well and a caravan was blown over and injured a couple. It looked like a warzone, the pictures will tell the rest of the story

On the next day while I did the dishes I studied a map, tracing the storms route with a yellow highlight pen.

No Damage at all

My neighborhood

Outside the rain had stopped and the sky was turning gray again. The car in the yard looked cold. Soon it started to rain again and yesterday it was a beautiful and sunny day again. A sad day and time to check out the damage only the tent of the neighbors was smashed by the wind and some of the trees were ripped up.

Mamy trees fell over

 

Lightning flashed outside the window and a loud crack of thunder shook the dishes in the cabinet. More thunder rolled right over top of them, breaking off somewhere to the west. Still none of us did cry. But this time all of us were awfully quiet. Lightning flashed as we made their way up the hallway. When we got to the kitchen the storm was just drifting off.

The Old Sailor,

Surviving the heatwave with Diabetes

Dear Bloggers,

When temperatures start to get out of control, so can you’re blood sugar can get out of control.. Both hot and cold weather extremes can harm your testing equipment and your medications and have a negative impact on your body’s ability to produce and use insulin.

Research shows that when it’s hot out, more people with diabetes end up in the ER and are hospitalized because of heat illness. The number of deaths in diabetes patients due to heat illness also increases in summer. Low temperatures can be an issue for people with diabetes as well.

But you don’t have to let the environment have the upper hand. Taking a few smart precautions can help you outsmart Mother Nature. Here are the adjustments to make depending on where you live and the weather forecast.

 

Managing the Summer Heat

Take these steps to keep your diabetes under control when the temperature soars:

Stay hydrated. “The problem is that in the heat, people tend to get dehydrated easily. When you’re dehydrated, you have higher concentrations of blood sugar because less blood flows through your kidneys. With less blood, your kidneys don’t work as efficiently to clear out any excess glucose (blood sugar) from your urine.” When it’s hot, be sure to drink plenty of water or sugar free beverages. Don’t wait until you are thirsty to replenish fluids.

Store your medications properly. High summer temps can affect your diabetes medications, glucose meter, and diabetes test strips. “When it’s hot out, it’s easy for insulin and other drugs to become degraded,” Be sure to store your medications properly out of the extreme heat. Never leave them in your car on a sweltering summer day, for instance. “It could get up to 50 degrees inside your car."

If you’re traveling, don’t forget to take your diabetes medicines with you. You may need to carry them in a cooler with an ice pack. Just be sure they’re not sitting directly on ice or the ice pack.

Stay out of the heat of the day. Exercise is an important part of diabetes management and blood sugar control. But you don’t want to be outside exercising during the hottest part of the day. “Get in your exercise first thing in the morning or once the sun goes down,”. Another option is to work out in an air-conditioned gym.

Know the signs of low blood sugar. Some of the symptoms of heat exhaustion are similar to those of low blood sugar, or hypoglycemia. These include sweating, light-headedness, shakiness, and confusion. “You may think it’s the heat and not recognize that your blood sugar levels have fallen to dangerous lows,” Be aware of the warning signs of low blood sugar and keep some carbohydrates with you to eat if you need to raise your blood sugar. Have a plan for a medical emergency.

 

Test more often. You may need to test your blood sugar levels more frequently so that you can adjust your insulin and your diet as necessary. Talk with your diabetes educator about guidelines if you're unsure of the best schedule.

Mind your feet. People with type 1 diabetes and type 2 diabetes are susceptible to problems with their feet. In the summer you face the temptation to go barefoot or wear open sandals that expose your toes … to trouble. Always wear shoes that fit well, even in warmer months. And at the end of the day, check your feet for any cuts, scrapes, blisters, or bruises. Don’t ignore injuries to your feet. Get medical treatment right away.

Surviving the Winter

Freezing temps and inclement weather can make it more challenging to stay on top of your diabetes. Here’s what to watch for during the colder months:

Keep your supplies out of the cold. Just like extreme heat, extreme cold can affect your insulin and cause your glucose monitor to stop working. Don’t leave supplies in a car when temperatures outside are below freezing.

Do your best to avoid getting sick. When you’re sick, you’re stressed, and being under stress can raise your blood sugar. Also, when you don’t feel good, you’re likely to not eat properly. Wash your hands with soap and water often so that you don’t spread germs. “We recommend diabetes patients have a sick-day kit at home. Fill it with soup, sugar-free cough drops, tea things that will make you feel better and that you can access easily,”

Avoid packing on the pounds. Managing your  type 2 diabetes during the holiday season can be tricky. Many seasonal treats are loaded with carbohydrates that cause your blood sugar to rise. Plan your meals and pace your special treats so that you don’t greet spring a few pounds heavier. Even a small weight gain makes it more difficult to control your diabetes and blood sugar levels.

Keep an eye on your feet. Diabetes can cause a loss of feeling in your toes and feet. Protect them with the right winter footwear, especially in snow. Apply moisturizer to your feet to keep your skin healthy. Inspect them regularly, and if you notice an injury that doesn’t heal, seek medical attention. Don’t wait. Also important warm your hands. “If your hands are cold, you may have to warm them up to get a good blood sugar reading,” Wash them in warm water before testing.

Don’t skip your workouts. It can be hard to get motivated to exercise in winter. But exercise is an important part of diabetes blood sugar control. It helps if you dress in layers when you’re exercising outdoors in the cold. Or join a gym where you can work out indoors. Another option: Work in exercise at home by taking the stairs, lifting weights, and exercising to videos.

At this moment I have to deal with the summer heat and my type 2 diabetes

When the hottest days of summer hit, people with type 2 diabetes need to pay close attention to their condition. Here's how to savor the season without health worries.

Summer conjures up images of backyard barbecues, pools and beaches, street festivals, stargazing, and more. But summer heat can add to the problems faced by people living with type 2 diabetes. In fact, studies have shown that during a heat wave, emergency room use by people with diabetes increases. And while most people with diabetes are aware that extreme heat poses a danger, they may not always know when to take precautions..

If you have diabetes, the high heat and humidity of summer can be difficult for your body to manage. The problem with hot weather is the combination of temperature and humidity.

Elderly people are at particular risk, but people of all ages with diabetes should be aware of summertime dangers. These include dehydration, heat exhaustion, and foot problems.

Dehydration is your enemy

Everyone, regardless of their health status, should make sure they drink enough fluids during the summer. People with type 2 diabetes, however, face an additional challenge because when their blood sugar levels are too high, they may be passing more urine than usual which means they are losing fluids more quickly. Add sweating into the mix and you have a recipe for speedy fluid loss. Certain medications, such as metformin (Glucophage), also increase the risk of dehydration.

If you are out and about on a hot summer day, make sure you have enough of these beverages on hand to stay hydrated:

• Water or seltzer
• Sugar-free lemonade or other drinks

Also, avoid alcoholic drinks and caffeine. Alcohol and caffeinated drinks are usually okay in moderation but too much of either one can cause you to lose more fluids. And remember to bring along snacks in case your blood sugar drops.

Diabetes and Heat Exhaustion If you’re going to be outside, be alert to these symptoms of heat exhaustion:

• Dizziness
• Fainting or near-fainting
• Sweating to excess
• Muscle cramping
• Cold, clammy skin
• Headaches
• Rapid heartbeat

Check blood glucose levels often. Aim for checking four times each day and before you drive.

With the proper precautions, people with type 2 diabetes can get through the summer and enjoy summer activities with no worries.

The Old Sailor,