Dear Bloggers,
Just before springtime comes and every now and then there’s a little ray of sunshine that brightens up the dark days of the wintertime. Even if live life to the fullest and you are still making loads of plans. But somehow your sickness is kicking in and slowly but surely the body has to give up bit by bit. And at a certain moment your days are counted.
.
“Life starts and it ends with a
breath, in between these two breaths lays a story; a child is born and explores
the world; the child smiles and cries; the child lives and becomes a man; the
man learns that life is neither good or bad, just beautiful the way it is.
Life ends on this earth by letting go of the first breath, because the man
knows that letting go is the path that leads to freedom; and then life begins
again purer than ever.”
People often wonder what they should say to a person who is dying. It is
understandable that you might feel confused – what you feel might be so complex
that it is hard to find the right words, or any words at all. It is natural to
worry about saying the wrong thing. You may want to offer something that will
help them cope but don’t know what that is. It is usually better to say
something than to pretend nothing is wrong.
Most times, someone who is dying will find comfort in you being there, and
appreciate knowing that family and friends are thinking of them. Even if you
feel you’re not doing anything, just being there sends the message that you
care.
It isn't clear how long
a person who is dying retains awareness of what is going on around them, but
research suggests that some degree of awareness may remain even after the
person slips from unconsciousness.
Often, people will lapse into a coma before they die—a
deep state of unconsciousness and unresponsiveness. People in a coma may still
hear people talking even when they can no longer respond. Because of this, the
health department suggests that caregivers, family, and physicians should
behave as if the dying person is aware of what is going on and is able to hear
and understand voices.
A 2020 study that investigated hearing in palliative
care patients who were close to death provides evidence that some people may
still be able to hear while in an unresponsive state. (EEG) was used to
measure the dying brain's response to sound. The findings suggest that telling
a person you love them in their final may register with them.
Dying is a natural process that the body has to work at. Just as a woman in labor knows a baby is coming, a dying person may instinctively know death is near. Even if your loved one doesn't discuss their death, they most likely know it is coming.
In some cases, the
person may come from a culture or a family in which death is simply not
discussed. Furthermore, your loved one may sense that others feel uncomfortable
recognizing the dying process so they don't want to bring it up.
.jpg)
Death can then become
the elephant in the room. Everyone knows it's there but no one will acknowledge
it. Family discussions may be awkward and superficial and never reach an
intimate level.
Talking about death is rarely easy. Many of us feel uncomfortable even saying the words "death" or "dying." Talking about it with a loved one who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness can be especially awkward.
First, remember that you
are talking to someone who is still living, and that talking about memories and
shared experiences honors the dying person's life. Experiencing sadness with
the loved one is appropriate; that's part of life, too.
If necessary, a therapist or a social worker with
experience in this area can make these conversations easier.
The flowers will fade no
matter what but the memories we made will never be lost.
The Old Sailor,
