Time is going by pretty fast

Dear Bloggers,

Where has the time gone...it seems like yesterday, the day that you were born, made your fist steps and soon I was sending you off to school for your first day of kindergarten and now you're going to high school...

Just typing those words makes me uneasy and a bit sad. When did my little girl become a teenager? How did this happen so quickly and so covertly?

But more importantly, how do I handle being a dad of a teenage girl and doing a good job at least that is what I hope? Some say it can't be done. Dads and teen girls are just meant to not get along--it is written in the cards, as they say. Strange enough we are having our fights but we are still in speaking terms. No problems there. The fights are heavier between her and her mum.

I am determined to do this teenage thing with her successfully though. But I am scared, what if I fail? What if I fail her? I try to be as reasonable as possible and that is sometimes not that easy.

I worry constantly about her now. I always have, of course, since the day I held her in my arms for the first time. She was then and has always been, fiercely independent. I love this about her, and I am nervous for her because of it.



It is hard to get her to listen to and take advice from me or her mum because of her independent nature. She is less likely to compromise because of this quality. On the other hand she is a very shy and insecure kind of person. And that is a very strange mix. It is kind of scarey this in between woman and child personality.But I hope this characteristics of her personality will also keep her from being easily persuaded by her peers as she gets older and spends more time away from my protective arms (shivers down my spine).

I still see so much little girl in her, she is after all, becoming12, not 16. I want to reach out and grab that little girl that sneaks out once in awhile, does something stupid with a girlfriend, cries when I tell her off and hold her close when she is sad. I see it in her smile when she talks about her latest crush, Ralph Mackenbach (Young dutch artist and goodlooking like Justin Bieber.) I see it in her face when she finds out I am taking her shopping for new clothes. I hear it when she is in her room giggling with her best friend. And it warms my heart. And it makes me sad for I know tides are turning.


Ralph Mackenbach

I see the teenager coming out in her when I catch her looking in the mirror at herself, and not looking happy with the reflection she sees back. (“Sorry for the inconvenience caused by the poor screen quality of this mirror”) I hear it in her voice when she argues with me about school work not interfering with Jazz-dancing (though my point was that jazz-dance was interfering with her school work. See what I mean?) I see the teenage girl in my daughter when she wants the latest issue of Tina a Girlie Magazine, and privacy. LOTS OF PRIVACY.



I am worried about the boys. Not my boys, the other boys that will be coming around soon. I am worried about peer influence, drugs, sex, and boys. I am so scared she will be hurt, confused, and will not come to me for advice as she becomes more a teenager and less a little girl. And the boys. Did I mention I am worried about the boys? (Guys you’ll better be good to her otherwise things might get sore).

I want to hold her tight and not let go until she is, say, about 25. Is that possible?

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future. ~Author Unknown.

The Old Sailor.

It rains down on me and I am stil happy

Dear Bloggers,

My head was empty like my bus on the last journey, I was bored and had no inspiration at all.
Until hailstones and thunderstorms came out of nothing it pushed my my mind into the second gear again.



A sudden strike of inspiration. I grab my smartpone and pick up my pen. On such a rainy day the sun has not shone brighter. I look out upon the world with clouds stretching to the end of the sky. I stand in the cold rain but all I can see is the greatness of this beautiful planet that we live upon. All I can feel is the warm feelings of my friends and family. A raindrop falls on my spine and bring chills through my body bringing me back to reality. I look out upon the wet and sad looking world and smile, because the sun will always shine.




I wrote this on the spur of the moment, and I have another poem blossoming in my mind that I want to accompany the pictures I have taken. So here you go, another view into my mind.

As the rain fell from heaven,
And soaked the thirsty earth,
The leaves scorched by the sun,
The flowers their fragrance has gone,

And man thanked and murmured:
'O rain, you are pouring again,
Giving hope and determination,
For me to breath and go on living.'

The earth sprouted with greenery
Showing freshness and calmness,
The leaves swayed in the wind,
The flowers, proud and upright,
Smelled-sweet, expressed delight

Just remember no matter how bad it is, at the very least this insignificant boy you have never met... He still want you to smile and would be willing to take whatever pain you have just for that chance.



The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health, time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love to do. One day when we look back, we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.

Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life.



Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time. You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence. So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted.

Live life to the edge and I would end with the wise phrase: “Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

No money but loads of future left

Dear Bloggers,

Childhood memories are special for everyone. I have a very happy memory of my childhood and always reminisce it with nostalgia. I was born and brought up in a small family which included my mother, father, brother and my two elder sisters. I have very fond memories of playing in our backyard, climbing trees to pluck fruits at the neighbors garden, going to the park and beach and enjoying life in general. Nobody was worried about the near future and as long we had something to eat, we were not complaining.
My dad was a operator at the coffee factory and my mother a housewife. Of all the memories, one particular memory is very important and taught me the importance of saving some money.


A nostalgic tube radio from my childhood years

Furthermore we had to help out with my dad’s hobby which was sometimes hard labour. In the evening hours we had our meal, a shower and watched some television. Some nights I had to go to bed and had a hard time to fall asleep. On my bedroom I had a nostalgic tube radio. The long copper spring wire was working as antenna and was spanned from one side to the other. Out here I listened to the programmes broadcasted by pirates like Mi Amigo, Radio Caroline and Veronica, sometimes I listened to classic stations from Russia or whatever country it was broadcasted from. The soft glow of the radio gave it somekind of mystic feeling.



We were absolutely not the richest people but we had an ok life. Eventhough my school friends went on holiday to far destinations and spend their money on daytrips, we stayed at home and slept in tents in the garden of the ponyfarm of my dad. I never felt it as a punishment as we grew up in a tourist village. And on saturday we were allowed to go out at a certain age of course. During the summer we earned some money for the food of the pony population as in the winter there was not much going on. Maybe other people found that we were pretty poor but it never bothered me. Only thing that has played my mind that we never ever went somewhere during the days that I at least can remember.



One summer, our family car suddenly broke down. Repair was the first option although it would cost a hell load of money to get this fixed.My father did not earn a very high salary and it was very difficult for us to raise that amount of money suddenly. Luckily, my father and mother had a habit of saving small amount of money regularly. This money was not touched but kept aside in case of emergencies. This amount turned out to be the exact amount required for the new second hand car. We were happy that the crisis had turned out right. Slowly we are getting into a financial crisis and we might loose our house as the mortgage puts on a lot of pressure as I only work 24 to 30 hours a week and that is not enough. My life is becoming a bad soap opera. Yes we are having the Blues, listening to myself saying: “We may be poor and there is nothing left to loose, I love you all with a smile and sometimes a small glass with booze”.


My favourite countrysinger Ilse de Lange

I realized for just a moment today that my life seems more like a country song than anything else now that I have Fibromyalgia. You know… lost my wife nearly, lost my car, lost my job and now we are getting closer that we would loose the house!!! Only it would be more like this: (Let me preface with I am NOT a song writer)

“I Lost My Sanity…Maybe it’s in The Refrigerator?“

You don’t have to touch me today, do you? I hope not, cause I might lose it if you try…You see I can’t take the slightest pat on the backside…get any closer and I might have to cry.

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

You don’t need a home cooked dinner, do you? If so you’re gonna have to cook it for yourself! It’s alright with me if you do, just to get some rest..an hour or two would be worth all the bitchin that you’re gonna do!

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

You see…today I lost my phone my keys my car my wife and the little bit of sanity that I had left. Bought a microwave meal and picked up a milkshake at the local drive through of Mc D. I got it all wrong but it seemed so right until I realized I was losing in this fight.

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

I’m gettin to the end of this little country song, about something that will plague me for my whole life long. I just hope they find a cure before I lose again and find my car keys in the door, my phone in the fridge, my wife where she belongs, and my sanity….well I still haven’t found that one yet!!!!



My children learn to spend money but also how to save a little bit so there will be some light at the end of the tunnel. I learn them to enjoy small things like following butterflies in the garden, going a day to the beach with the whole family or a picknic in the park. Riding our push bikes for short trips through the forrest or even a bbq with some friends can make my day and give that holiday feeling.

It is not that bad today sailor

We were helped by the good habit of saving practiced by my parents. Before this incident, I was a spendthrift and use to spend all of my pocket money. This incident changed my way of thinking. I started to save even a little bit from my pocket money. I took to heart the saying, "Little drops of water makes the mighty ocean." Till today, I save money in whatever way I can. I have impressed upon my children the importance of saving money and have got them to do the same.

The Old Sailor,