Careerwomen are not really sexy

Dear Bloggers,

If you are without a job and you are waiting for your kids at school, you automaticly look at the mums that are standing there. And I must say not many of them would in anyway arouse me. But something was hitting me that the women with their own career talk to you differently then the ones with a parttime job or just being a housewife. Don't get me wrong as I am a persons that thinks that we all should be equal, if it comes to kids, salary or whatsoever.

The ones with a full career are fully dressed up, and complain about changes in the school schedule. These women have the big plus that they can buy everything they want, but are they really happy? The ones being more at home are being more social as well. They chitchat with you about daily news and about their kids, they are more relaxed about themselves and their relation. Funny enough they have gained a bit more weight after childbirth and they have never lost those kilo's again. Not very attractive I think but I do not have to sleep with them.

How do women, careers and marriage mix? Not well at least that is what I would say. Most of these careertigers are having marital or other relation problems. The kids being the victims in this fight have been the glue for a couple of years as there was no time for love. After a working day there is the household to do. So they have hardly any time for eachother and that will give large cracks in your marriage and will lead in most of the cases to a divorce. First of all I thought that this was only the issue in my surroundings, but after reading about it I see it is all over the world happening.

Guys: a word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.

Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a bumpy and rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat and less likely to have children. And if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.

Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men, are attracted to women with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career girl is well educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure … at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is, the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you. Sound familiar?

If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy . They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do . You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do. You will be more likely to fall ill . Even your house will be dirtier.

Why? Well, despite the fact that the link between work, women and divorce rates is complex and controversial, much of the reasoning is based on a lot of economic theory and a bit of common sense. In classic economics, a marriage is, at least in part, an exercise in labor specialization. Traditionally, men have tended to do "market" or paid work outside the home, and women have tended to do "nonmarket" or household work, including raising children. All of the work must get done by somebody, and this pairing, regardless of who is in the home and who is outside the home, accomplishes that goal. Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases--if, for example, both spouses have careers--the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that.

The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen his or her mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase that he or she will meet someone more likable than you. "The work environment provides a host of potential partners," Hmmm..... how strange, "and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with these individuals."

There's more: According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, the highly educated people are more likely to have had extramarital sex. Additionally, individuals who earn more than € 30,000 a year are more likely to cheat.

And if the cheating leads to divorce, you're really in trouble. Divorce has been positively correlated with higher rates of alcoholism, clinical depression and suicide. Other studies have associated divorce with increased rates of cancer, stroke, and sexually transmitted disease. Plus, divorce is financially devastating. According to one recent study on "Marriage and Divorce's Impact on Wealth," published in The Journal of Sociology, divorced people see their overall net worth drop an average of 77%.

So why not just stay single? Because, academically speaking, a solid marriage has a host of benefits beyond just individual "happiness." There are broader social and health implications as well. "What Do We Know About the Benefits of Marriage?," marriage is positively associated with "better outcomes for children under most circumstances" and higher earnings for adult men, and "being married and being in a satisfying marriage are positively associated with health and negatively associated with mortality." In other words, a good marriage is associated with a higher income, a longer, healthier life and better-adjusted kids.

A word of caution, though: It's important not to confuse correlation with causation. In other words, just because married folks are healthier than single people, it doesn't mean that marriage is causing the health gains. It could just be that healthier people are more likely to be married.

I will put on my apron grab my feather-duster, run around the house with the hoover and do the dishes and think it's not so bad the life that we are living. If I might get bored (I don't think so) I could bake a cake, yeah right! For me it is about time that I get a daytime job again as I am slowly sliding off, I might start to like it as I see my kids every day. I apply to every suitable job but who wants to hire a greyhaired over forty and a dissability to do a fultime job.

The Old Sailor,


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