Showing posts with label woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label woman. Show all posts

May 28, 2011

An ice cold woman or is it our own mistake being a man?

Dear Bloggers,

This week I have been setting my mind to the differences between man and woman. I hear a lot of conversations in my daily life. Most interesting I found this one. It was the frustrating world of two men having a relationship with their wife who was getting frigid. As they were in the same age group as me. It made me wander why women actually ended up in this stage of life? Somehow we forgot that normal men are hunters and women only need a man to protect her kids and get them something to eat. In those days no one knew about veneral diseases and men shagged everything that was suitable. Ok they did not get that old as us but it must have been a fantastic life for men.



To my bewilderment, the more a man tries to entice his wife to be better in bed, the colder she is likely to get. With my own needs screaming within me, a man can be expected to start emphasizing sex, and yet this usually sets off alarm bells within a woman. Despite her husband’s best intentions, she could soon end up feeling devastated, imagining he married her simply because he wanted a legal prostitute!



Men typically dismiss such wifely outbursts as complete nonsense. The sad reality, however, is that the best of us are in danger of lapsing into shallow sex, dragging our wives down with us. Even more disturbing is that we men seldom sense when we are on this decline. Women, on the other hand, tend to be acutely perceptive of what we are really doing to them. The popularity of porn proves this male tragedy. As unbelievable as it sounds, men are capable of so demeaning themselves as to have sexual interaction with ink on paper or electrons in a computer! As if this were not shocking enough, they can engage in this depravity and barely be aware that they are degrading and depersonalizing what was meant to be the pinnacle of interpersonal relations. If so many men can fall into having a sexual experience with a piece of paper, each of us live a knife edge away from sometimes treating our wives as no more than a lump of flesh and not even realize how much we have debased both ourselves and the most precious person in our lives.

The shocking truth is that the most common reason for female frigidity is that their men are not the great lovers they imagine themselves to be.



As an egg cannot burst into life unless it is kept warm, and plants can flower only under the right conditions, so a normal woman can reach the pinnacle of sexual passion and abandonment only if she feels loved, valued, secure, relaxed and physically refreshed.

When, instead of doing more to foster these feelings, a man tries to overcome his wife’s sexual inhibitions by focusing on the physical, she slips from feeling secure and relaxed to feeling pressured to perform. She slumps from feeling valued as a person to feeling reduced to a toy. Under the devastation of this emotionally crippling insult, her sexual passion dries up. Her sex drive will most likely vanish for as many weeks or years as she continues to feel that this is how her husband sees her. On the other hand, if it gradually sinks into the core of her being that she is loved, honored and cherished by her husband, her yearning to sexually thrill him will skyrocket.



Your wife’s passion is the culmination of all the feelings you have generated within her, not just in the last ten minutes, but every time you have been in her presence in the last days and weeks and even months. If a woman is cold in bed, it is usually because the way she is treated outside of bed has left her cold.

In making a woman feel loved, a hug not intended to lead to anything, is worth twenty passionate kisses when is sex on the agenda. When a husband does little to make his wife feel valued except when he wants his sexual needs met, acting like the world’s greatest romantic for what to him are the few critical moments, will not prevent him from being a miserable failure as a lover. Rightly or wrongly, she will feel not loved, but the victim of a cold-hearted con artist who is unconcerned about her and wants only to manipulate her for his selfish gratification.

A woman’s hearing fails if the only time she hears, ‘I love you,’ is during foreplay. To her, the words end up sounding remarkably like, ‘I love conning you into serving my needs.’ And, ‘You’re beautiful,’ begins to sound like, ‘Just forget about your feelings – I have. All I care about is using your body as something to masturbate inside of.’



It’s too late to suddenly transmute into the perfect lover when you want sex. If how you treat your wife then is inconsistent with how you treat her the rest of the time, your attempts to arouse her will affirm not your lovemaking skills but your hypocrisy. The show you put on might be so convincing that you fool yourself into thinking you are loving her, but she will see right through it and feel not loved, but violated. Hypocrites arouse in their victims neither love nor lust but pure disgust. Under those circumstances your failure to sexually arouse her would prove not her frigidity but her intelligence.

A particularly important time for a man to show love is the few minutes immediately after he has been sexually satisfied. At this, the very time when most men feel like sleeping, a hormone is usually released within a woman that heightens her alertness and longing for romance. This makes it a critical time for bonding.

A man does not deliberately create his wife’s coldness. He simply becomes preoccupied with other things and so his wife’s feelings fade from his consciousness. Unfortunately, this preoccupation means his wife has slipped in his priorities. No matter how much we kid ourselves, our priorities are a most revealing measure of the genuineness of our love.



It is generally realized that for good sex most women need genital caressing during foreplay. A common complaint women have about this is that their partners keep pressing too hard. This mistake, however, is merely a symptom of the real problem. At the heart of such matters is that the wife has not taught her husband how to please her. In most cases this can be traced to what is commonly called the male ego – the tendency for a weak man to crumple, pathetically thinking himself a failure, if forced to admit to himself that he knows less about his wife’s sexual feelings than she does.

Let’s face facts. Every woman is unique. No one can become a good lover merely by reading books or from former partners. The only way anyone can learn how to sexually thrill a specific woman is by responding to guidance she gives. Many couples tragically miss out because the woman is too timid to provide the feedback necessary for good sex. Usually it’s because the husband has given the impression that he is that weak sort of male who can never learn from the only person who truly knows how to thrill his wife – the woman herself. If you cannot learn from your wife, you might pass as an animal, but as a husband you are a failure.



What ignites a woman sexually varies enormously, not just from woman to woman, but from day to day. For example, studies have shown that, especially for a woman not on the pill, male body odors that disgust her most of the time arouse her at a certain point in her menstrual cycle. Likewise, what visually appeals to her sexually varies according to the time of month.

You can only get to know your wife’s sexuality the same way you get to know her personality – from her, not from books or videos or guesswork. Getting inside her body without getting inside her mind will end up a hollow experience for both of you.

Ok...Let’s Get Practical

Treat your computer as a football and you won’t have a computer for long. You might keep the pieces but it will be incapable of meeting your computing needs. A few seconds’ fun would turn you into a loser. Treat a wife like an inflatable doll and you won’t have a wife for long, even if you still have the pieces.



Many of the most significant things in kindling a woman’s sexual feelings are quite different to what makes a man feel like sex. The average man can see the link between maintaining a car and that car’s performance, but he seldom sees the link between maintaining his wife’s awareness of his love and his wife’s sexual performance.



Here are pointers as to how to help a woman know she is loved. From this will flow astounding benefits, including bringing her to the peak of her sexuality.

Praise her. Regularly find things you like about her physical appearance, her character and her abilities, and verbalize your admiration. Appreciate all that she does for you and freely express your gratitude.

Consult your wife before making decisions. Share your plans and dreams with her. Be open and honest with her about every aspect of your life.

Realize that for your wife to be the full woman you need her to be, she needs close women friends. Don’t feel threatened by this. It is part of what makes her a woman. You married her because she is a woman, not a man, so let her be the full woman she is.

Regularly ask her such things as:

* What can I do to make you feel more loved?

* What can I do to boost your confidence and help you feel good about yourself?

* What can we do to make sex more exciting and fulfilling for you?



Perhaps you are scared to ask such questions for fear she will say something like, “Help more around the house.” Be brave! If this really is high on her priorities for feeling loved, then it is important. More is at stake than a bit of housework. It touches her emotional well-being and your entire marriage. Only she knows the critical elements in making her feel loved.

It is not easy to be a modern man and please a woman her needs.

The Old Sailor,

November 22, 2009

In love

Dear Bloggers,

So far I am spared trom the swine flu. Some time ago I was infected with a virus and I stil suffer from it, it was appearing with light headed feelings including a ticklish belly (read: butterflies) and constant daydreaming. There are a number of adverse reactions: spontaneous gaiety, a hollow heart beaten, concentration problems and daydreaming.



Indeed, I am talking about the infamous love.

Love is just like any other virus almost always unexpected and unwanted. For example, if you're just recovering from a broken heart. Or when a long relationship a little on the daily grind begins to appear.
There is nothing we can do. It is best to accept that you are infected.

Love comes in different forms. The most devastating form characterized by a strange tickling sensation in the abdomen and an inexplicable attraction. The most extreme form is characterized by drooling, obsessive behavior and froth. Caution! If you start to tremble with excitement when you think of that person. This last form is really very dangerous. If you recognize this? Please contact as soon as possible your doctor.



Between these extreme variations are listed a variety of forms. Fortunately, the most violent form, but rare.
Infatuation can also start at the first stage and subsequently develop. I find myself already at an advanced stage.
And that it is nothing new but it already is happening for more than 16 years
If the love is mutual, this can result in true love. (This stage I have reached now.) If the love is only coming from yourself it can lead to a broken heart. (And now it will be difficult.) I have the impression that it is not always two-way and why? Has she no longer fear to lose me?

Love can be contagious! If the person is looked deep in the eye and sparks of fire would jump over, it might happen sometimes that sparks shoot back to you!
There is currently no known cure for love.



So especially enjoy your love. Laugh of the Mexican flu victims from being the whole day in bed with fever and cough, while you climb cheerfully out of bed and want to sing all day!
In short: At the first symptoms hump the object of your affection! A direct admit to in this case is the best medicine. I will do that as well. Also there has been done some scientific research.

The best way for women to have less stress is ... being happily married. Happily married couples as domestic work and care for the children are devided and will take the pressure off on womensshoulders. And less stress equals a better night's sleep.
The key is to stress hormone cortisol, released during a stressful period. morning cortisol level is high, and the level is going down slowly but surely during the day.



Women who can come home in a loving environment after work,can easier come to rest after work. Add to that a balanced distribution of responsibilities at home and it is clear that much stress is away. The key word is rather "good relationship" than married.
For women in bad relationships has not. After a busy day, they still have to start the household tasks and then there will be stress. Late at night they are still busy and when they go to bed, they are still worried. The result is that the stressed woman will ly awake and will suffer from sleep. Final conclusion is, therefore, help each other.



Tips
Take good care of your relationship. Make arrangements with your partner in connection with the household chores, the children ...
Talk to your partner enough about your relationship. If there is something on your mind, it is better to talk about rather than to gather up everything.

The Old Sailor,

December 7, 2008

What is on every man's mind

Dear Bloggers,

Every man with a woman knows the duality of relationships.
It is a situation where you get caught in as soon as you are in a steady relationship, when you’re relationship is getting in jeopardy, you go out hunting again.
Even if she's the perfect woman for you, a woman who might be stunningly attractive, most of us feel compelled to look at other women.
As men we are dealing differently with fantasies then women.
We are more visual hunters, and that is the reason why we think so much of sex.
Our brains are simply not hooked to one fantasy and yes, sex sells.



Women don't appreciate this male dilemma.
Oftentimes, they will do everything in their power to discourage it.
Irrational violent mood swings and arguments are their main weapons of choice.



The goal here is to master the art of this type of female appreciation, while keeping it a strictly covert act.
And although the absolute greatest tool for this is no doubt a good pair of sunglasses, wearing them is not always possible, for reasons of wardrobe restrictions and weather.

What follows is a list of different approaches and techniques for both sides of the male relationship perspective; the one who wants to keep his wife happy, and the other that wants to protect his own ass while taking in the wonderful sights.
Enjoy.



Women are suckers for anything that comes close to a public display of affection.
Kisses, hugs, hand holding, you name it, and they almost certainly love it.
One of the easiest ways to check out other women then is to exploit this weakness by showing affection for your partner and physically clearing your field of vision.



The womanly instinct: using a woman's nature against her.
Your woman's mistrust for other women is your best friend here.
Essentially, most women are three to four drinks away from being either lesbian curious or in a vicious catfight... such are the contradictions of the fairer sex. There is no way for us to understand this fully, as our penises don't allow this sort of information to compute.

That said, here's a way to play off this female curiosity: The negative observation Commenting on the appearance of other women is a sure-fire means of openly and safely taking in the sight of other women, if done properly, make sure that anything you say sheds a negative light on the other woman and a positive one on yours, making her feel somehow superior.

Examples:
"Wow, look at how trashy she is."
"Doesn't anyone have natural breasts anymore?"
"Man, imagine what she really looks like without all that make-up."

Comments and questions of this sort will catch your wife's attention and she'll delight in the opportunity to shoot off one of her own -- all the while with you watching.



Diversions and distractions: buying time.
Oftentimes, the best way for you to look at other women is by getting your lady to look elsewhere.
Here are a couple of easy ways to do just that.

The point: If you happen to be in a shopping area, your environment is ideally suited to maximum "bird watching."
If you're in a pinch, consider pointing to a store or product and saying, "Hey, look at that!"
This works especially well if you're lucky enough to be near something you know she will be interested in (such as jewels or shoes).
This can also work well outside of shopping areas, with literally anything in your field of vision acting as a potential smoke screen.



The quest for opinion: Asking her opinions on products is another good way to go about creating time for you to peek at others.
This can include one-upping the last idea by not only pointing but also inquiring about the objects in storefront windows, or if worse comes to worst, cars, buildings or anything else in sight.

The purse hunt Almost every woman comes with a built-in escape hatch -- her purse. By simply asking her to look for something in her bag you can create the time needed to catch a glimpse of other women.
This can include anything from asking for a piece of gum, a breath mint or even a pen. And now, on to the art of stalling...



Stalling: lulling your partner. Certain commonly engaged-in acts can be useful tools in this situation, as most are far too boring for your girlfriend to closely inspect.
Provided you wait until she looks away, these are always available to you, and can be done on a moment's notice.
The shoelace tying Raise your foot and lean your shoe on any raised surface; this keeps you from having to bend down, which would limit your sightlines.
Hopefully at this stage in the game, you can tie a knot without looking.

The dandruff removal:
Wiping dandruff from your shoulders.
Admittedly this is one of the crudest techniques around, but one that can still prove helpful in a pinch, and most especially when walking beside an attractive woman.
Simply stroke your hand across your shoulders slowly, as if wishing to rid yourself of stubborn yet imaginary dandruff.

Honesty: when lying gets tiring.
For those fed up with hiding, honesty truly is the best policy, especially if you like to fight.
That said, being in the dating doghouse doesn't always have to go hand in hand with the honest approach, and if your wife is cool with it, you might even be able to enjoy looking at other women with her.

This works best with couples in long-term relationships who are completely comfortable with each other.
In this case, your girlfriend might have no trouble with you saying, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
Of course, the only way to find out is by trying it.
Choose the right words. When going with the honest approach, make sure to steer clear of words like, "hot," "sexy" and "smoking."
These words imply a flat-out lustful sexuality, which may put your girl on the defensive.
Sticking with softer words like "beautiful," "pretty" and "cute" can help create the trust you need for honest exchanges.



WHAT IF SHE CATCHES YOU?
If she happens to catch you in the act of looking/staring at another woman, you can do one of two things: Either resort to the forementioned tactic of commenting and demeaning, or simply fess up.
The latter option might often be your best, and frankly only, option, as you can make matters worse if she sees through your lies.
If you know you can't get away with it, tell her something like, "Doesn't she look like Cameron Diaz?" or simply, "Okay, I was looking at her".
"But you have to admit she's attractive, right?"
No matter what, however, never compliment a woman in a way that can make your wife self-conscious.

Don't, for example, ever talk about breasts, butt size, legs, or weight issues, as this would bother most women.
Any attempt to cover your tracks, like telling her you heard 74% of women with breast implants are blonde will only backfire, as no doubt she'll think you not only consider her breasts are too small, but you also wish she were blonde (or blonder) too.



APPRECIATE OTHER WOMEN
Sure, this is shallow, but it's a necessary evil, something we not only like to do, but must.
Following some of these suggestions will help make your life more headache-free, and will keep your girl from catching on.

Make sure to use my tips sporadically, alternating them as often as you can. Predictability and familiarity are your enemies. In the end, some would say that if you have to use these tips, then you might be whipped.
But remember that knowledge is essential, especially if you happen to catch her applying these techniques.

I just follow these lines in life:”Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

November 14, 2008

Myth busted that women want to have less sex.

Dear Bloggers,

We (me and my spouce) found out after many years that we are completely different and that she is thinking like a woman and I am thinking like a man.

I really start to think how it would be if we would be thinking the same way.
If it comes to the point we are the same, the only difference I can discover is that she is looking for somebody that needs to open up more to her world.
But why doesn't she guide me in the right direction?
I am an idiot if it comes to the romantic part, I must admit I was a lot better at it in my younger days.



I hope I will find my way back, otherwise I might loose the most beautiful thing in life, and of course I still love her with all my heart.
Unfortunate as I am, the men's part of my brain has taken over my female side of the body. (As a lot of men have to admit, I am afraid that we are thinking to much with our dick.)
But that is the problem if you have a women with a lovely body, could you stop thinking of anything else?



I found the follwing things by strawling through the web and foud the following issues, that I thought as a man to be worth mentioning.

Bachelors might have sex on their minds more than their single female counterparts, but once in a committed relationship, men and women have similar attitudes toward the act, a new study finds.

Past studies, the scientists pointed out, have shown that compared with women, men are more sexually permissive, endorse casual sex at higher rates and masturbate more often.
And even in dreamland, men are from Mars and women from Venus. A recent study showed men were more than twice as likely as women to report dreams about multiple sex partners.

Sexual feelings

While women placed more emphasis on the emotional aspects of sex, men focused more on the physical side of sex.
Men were much more likely to find sex personally and physically pleasurable, while women were more likely to think sex violates social taboos.
Thoughts often turn into actions. “Sexually restrictive gender roles too often become self-fulfilling prophecies because women know that they are expected to be less sexual than men, “and men know that they are expected to be more sexual than women.”



Men gave much higher ratings for risky sexual behaviors, such as “I should have sex with as many people as possible,” than women.
And women were more apt to endorse waiting longer and not engaging in premarital sex.



When Mr. Right shows up, however, women ditch society-imposed gender roles, warming up to sexual pleasures, the researchers found.
In the context of an intimate relationship, both genders expressed that sex was important as a way to bring couples closer, to help maintain healthy relationships and to increase one’s self confidence.

“People in romantic relationships give more importance to their own feelings and their partners’ than they do to social expectations about sexual behavior,”

Hmm... It is about time to change somethings in my head, maybe it is not too late yet.
But I really hate butterflies in my stomach.

The Old Sailor,

August 8, 2008

Just because everybody is beautiful

Dear Bloggers,

Never judge anybody on their looks, nice people are not always looking nice.
Not everybody is a beauty on the outside, but some people are so beautiful inside



Here is a little food for thought:

There is so much beauty in life,
beauty in the soul,
beauty in the heart and in the mind
of the good man and woman.
There is beauty in nature,
beauty in the sky and in the clouds,
in the mountains and in the sea.
Beauty in true friendship.
And immeasurable beauty in love.
To delight us in this world.

I hope that you can find the beauty in your life.
And live as happy as possible.

The old Sailor,

Talking and Writing

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